Britney Spears Becoming a Nun

Karl Erikson — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 14:34:00 GMT

Britney is on the comeback trail, that's for sure. She's got "Circus" coming out in a couple of months, the first track ("Womanizer") is already a hit, and we haven't seen any crazy head-shaving moments in quite a while. Disappointing.

Some say her father, Jamie, is the reason she's doing so well lately. He's in charge of Britney's affairs through the end of the year, at least, and there's an interim court hearing later this month to see how she's progressing. Rumor has it that the conservatorship will be extended. We'll see.

But the latest edict from dad Jamie? No sex for at least 6 months for Britt Britt. WHAT? No sex for 6 months?! I thought I was the only one who went without getting laid for that long. Naturally, it's a self-imposed moratorium for me...*cough*.

A friend of Britney's told Now Magazine, "Jamie and Lynne feel Britney's so close to cracking the big time again that they don't want anything to get in the way."

True, Britney hasn't shown the best in judgment when it comes to men. There's K-Fed and sleazy photographer Adnan Ghalib (who may or may not have a Britney sex tape, depending on the moment). Jamie thinks that Ghalib is highly responsible for Britney's breakdowns and erratic behavior.

The source says, "They’re desperate to ensure that it won’t happen again. Their worst nightmare is that she gets involved with someone else who’s just trying to use her for her money or to further their own career."

I think it's great that Britney is back on track, though it makes for very boring reading. But this sex ban crosses the line. That's some crazymaking shit right there. Even with the anti-anxiety meds she's on, not having sex is the biggest depressant there is. Except for maybe HAVING sex with Kathy Griffin.

Hell, I must be doing something wrong. I haven't had sex in WAY more than 6 months and my life is still a wreck. WTF?

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Karl Erikson — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:07:00 GMT

Britney has reclaimed her standing with the Guinness Book of World Records! She is officially the World's Biggest Trainwreck! Oh, wait, that's not it, though she's in tough contention with Amy Whorehouse.

No, Britney is back to being the Most Searched Person on the Internet, grabbing the title back from Paris Hilton. Britney's previous records include Best Selling Album By a Teenage Solo Artist, which she got in 2000, and Fastest Most Number 1 Singles on UK Chart by a teenage Female Solo Arist. I'm surprised she didn't get the record for World's Biggest Trainwreck.

Britney is the notorious mom of Sean Preston and Jayden James, who just celebrated their 3rd and 2nd birthdays, respectively. She hits court today for two separate hearings. First, she owes her lawyers more than $400,000. Second, she was charged with driving without a license last year. Still working on that Trainwreck thing.

Source | Photo

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