FameCrawler : letter

Madonna Too Immoral To Adopt, Says Mercy James' Father

Josh loposer — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:00:00 GMT

On the heels of rumors that Madonna has swine flu, Mercy James' biological father is going public with exactly what he thinks about Madonna's abilities as a role model.

Agreed, some of the things Madonna has said and done publicly -- like making out with train wreck Britney Spears -- don't exactly make her the beacon of moral rectitude. Still, dude, are you sure you want to rip on Madonna's code of ethics?

Last time I checked, you're the one who knocked up Mercy's mother, denied it, ran away, and didn't even send condolences when she died. At least, that's the story according to Mercy's grandfather.

Here's what the estranged father had to say about Madonna:

"I don't think Madonna is a model mum. I have seen her in movies of her songs. She doesn't portray good morals.

"How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? I wouldn't want my daughter to grow up like that! In Malawi women respect themselves. Cultured women do not go about half-naked.

"I also heard after her marriage failed she is already seeing two men, both very younger than her and her ex-husband. I hear one of them is even less than half her age.

"That's scandalous. How can a normal woman fall for a boy who can as well be her son? No, spare my Mercy that scandal."

Source | Photo

Let Me Tell You How to Get to Sesame Street

Whit Honea — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:03:00 GMT

Can you believe that "Sesame Street" is getting ready to start its 39th season? Crazy, right?

Well, it's true and this year promises to be the best yet because they're going to focus more on math!

I suppose that's a good thing, but that's not really why you're reading about "Sesame Street" on FameCrawler. No, we are in it for the celebrities.

In the upcoming season we'll see some of our favorite celebrity parents (and soon-to-be), as well as some other people that I'm too lazy to Google for parental status.

Here is a quick list of some of the stars you'll find singing, rhyming and arithmeticin' this season (starts August 11th): Will Arnett, Feist, Jessica Alba, David Beckham, Heidi Klum, Brian Williams, Neil Patrick Harris, Sandra Oh, Jack Black, Jenny McCarthy, Feijoo Sisters and Jason Taylor. Impressive, isn't it?

Also of note are some of the planned sketches that build upon popular culture: "30 Rocks," "Pre-School Musical" and "Are You Smarter Than an Egg Layer," all of which sound pretty darn funny and/or eductional.

Awesome.

This post was brought to you by the letter A and the number 5.

Jamie Lynn Spears Hit in Mouth: An Open Letter

Whit Honea — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 18:20:00 GMT

Dear Jamie,

Perhaps you know that the National Enquirer ran a story about your shenanigans last week in which a bunch of drunks were fighting at a party and you threw your pregnant ass in the ruckus and took an elbow in the kisser. If not, this is what they said:

“Jamie Lynn decided she could break it up, but got elbowed hard in the mouth by one of the boys. She went crazy, screaming at everyone… crying, screaming and covering her mouth. Casey (Aldridge) was so drunk, he just kept trying to hush her up. Lynne Spears called Jamie Lynn and bitched her out for going. Jamie Lynn’s dad Jamie called Casey and told him if anything happens to his daughter, he will have to deal with him.”

Why, Jamie, is it starting to feel like I've seen your life before? Between your sister Britney and the collective catalog of COPS you are oddly comforting in your familiarity.

I was shocked when you announced you were pregnant. I was amused when you were featured in Hustler, though to be honest it wasn't very funny, and I was indifferent to your recent act of going postal.

Then why is it that I feel obligated to write you about this latest incident? What line did you cross that teen pregnancy, porn magazines and the United States Postal Service fail to meet?

The thing is that your latest action only amplified the obvious, you don't make very good decisions, and while the prior mistakes, be they footwear (seriously, what's up?), Casey Aldridge, or picking Nickelodeon over Disney, have had their respective consequences, none of them put your baby at risk.

That's what you did by jumping in between a group of drunk boys fighting. Actually, that's what you did when you agreed to go into a room full of drunk boys to begin with.

You are young and plenty has been made about your age, your family and so on. The bottom line is that regardless of the path that brought you here, here you are, and you need to start taking the necessary precautions to make sure this is the beginning of something wonderful and not just another sad saga in the Spears storyline.

Sincerely,

Whit

No, Candy Spelling did not help me write this. It was just me, 8 cups of coffee and spell check.

Photo: Celebutopia