FameCrawler : masturbation

Lenny Kravitz is His Own DILF

Whit Honea — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:17:00 GMT

No shoes, no shirt, no dice.

Lenny Kravitz knows the secret, but I'm guessing he also knows another secret- the one about loving someone else. How else do you explain the kids?

Hey, Lenny, got the time?

Source

Beckham Pulls A Britney

HerBadMother — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:50:00 GMT

Um, is it just me, or should David Beckham's two small boys not be crammed, sans car seats, in the back of a convertible like that?

I mean, dude doesn't need to drive a minivan or anything, but please: strap those kids into some kind of regulation safety device. Have we learned nothing from Britney?

Source

White Boys Can't Do Nicknames

HerBadMother — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 14:40:00 GMT

Victoria Beckham has, apparently, started calling her husband “D Beck” after his friend Snoop Dogg decided that 'David' was too dull.

A source revealed: “Snoop thought the name ‘David’ was a bit boring, and he wasn’t too impressed by ‘Becks’ either. Now Posh is calling him ‘D Beck’ too.”

Which, if you ask me, is just stupid. Not that 'Becks' wasn't stupid, but do these people really call each other by stupid nicknames at home? Oooh, D Beck, take me now! D Beck, put down that toilet seat!

If either of them start wearing backwards baseball caps and saying 'yo,' they're fired.

Source

Who's Beckham Humping Now?

David Beckham And Snoop Dogg Goin' Into Business - In Slippers?

Who's Beckham Humping Now?

HerBadMother — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:31:00 GMT

Looks like David Beckham found a double of himself, and then, you know, just did what came naturally.

Better than plain old masturbation any day, no?

Source

Victoria Beckham Naked And On Her Husband David Beckham

David Beckham And Snoop Dogg Goin' Into Business - In Slippers?

Tom Cruise Makes a Realistic Cardboard Cutout

Whit Honea — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:42:00 GMT

Too. Many. Jokes. Somewhere between Hitler and Freddie Mercury I'm left with this lifelike cutout of Tom Cruise. It does look pretty real, except that it is a bit on the tall side.

What is that on his palm? A musical note? Does his other palm play dixie?

Crap, that joke works on so many levels I should just retire. That's it. I'm out.

Photo: Gabby Babble

Kevin Costner's Got a New Kid and the AARP Cover. Gross.

BadKitty — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 15:33:00 GMT

With the excellent title "Kevin Can Wait" and creepy soul patch (called a "jazz spot" in the article, gag), Kevin is the cover story of this month's AARP magazine. Yes, AARP as in retired people and senior discounts. But wait, Kevin's only 53, he just seems like he's in his 70s. And while his movies haven't done much box office lately, he doesn't qualify as retired yet.

Still, he is sort of old to be a baby daddy. Again. Kevin has three kids (ages 23, 21 and 19) from his first marriage plus a 10 year old with a former girlfriend. Costner graciously acknowledged his fourth child...after a blood test (so gallant!) On May 6th he welcomed his fifth child, Cayden, with second wife Christine Baumgartner. This accomplished lady, both a model and handbag designer, at the tender age of 33 is a mere two decades years younger than Kev. You may remember their super, uh, Colorado-ish wedding in 2004, which was covered by the best publications, like People. It was also reviewed by horoscope analysis site Cosmitech who warned that the signs were not auspicious for their union. It turns out, they may be right.

You see, since the wedding, Kevin's been the rumored answer to blind items like this one from the UK Daily Mirror that came out around the time they were on their golfing honeymoon in Scotland:

A Hollywood superstar performed a sex act on himself while enjoying a massage, a hotel worker has claimed. The American A-list actor is said to have dropped his towel and exposed himself to the stunned masseuse. The woman claimed he then carried out the "disgusting" act in front of her in the hotel spa. The star - who cannot be named for legal reasons - was on a golfing holiday with his wife and staying at the Old Course Hotel in St Andrews, Scotland.

And this one from the NY Daily News:

Which married, massage therapist-loving actor had to pay a guy off on the set of his current film after he got a little too touchy-feely?

And this one from Crazy Days and Nights:

This married A-list movie actor told his wife he needed to relax and so was going out to Palm Springs to play some golf. He showed up at the golf course. He went inside the pro-shop and gave the head pro a few hundred dollars and said that if his wife called to tell her that the actor was out on the course and no cell phones are allowed there. Then he was to call the actor's cell phone and tell him the wife called. The actor then left the pro shop with a woman who was not dressed to play golf and drove away. Now it's possible this twosome played golf somewhere else, but I think he was trying to put his ball into another cup if you know what I mean.

I'm not saying he's a cheater or a perv. I'm not even saying he's A-List. However, the love of golf and actorly sense of lookit-me! entitlement, combined with a history of multiple baby mommas opens up the possibility that Kevin could be the aging playboy they're talking about.

Just in case, consider this a public service announcement. Even though Costner is no Eddie Murphy, remember, he may have a few more kids in him. And God knows what else on him. Ladies, use protection!

Photo credit: Andrew Eccles

FameCrawler : masturbation

Lenny Kravitz is His Own DILF

Beckham Pulls A Britney

White Boys Can't Do Nicknames

Baby # 4 For Victoria and David Beckham?

Who's Beckham Humping Now?

David Beckham And Snoop Dogg Goin' Into Business - In Slippers?

Who's Beckham Humping Now?

David Beckham's Condoms

Victoria Beckham Naked And On Her Husband David Beckham

David Beckham And Snoop Dogg Goin' Into Business - In Slippers?

Tom Cruise Makes a Realistic Cardboard Cutout

Kevin Costner's Got a New Kid and the AARP Cover. Gross.