FameCrawler : metrosexual

THESE Two Are The Hottest Celebrity Parents, For Seriously

HerBadMother — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:21:00 GMT

Forget Brad and Angie. Also, forget that I ever said that this guy was too metrosexual to be really sexy. Because, seriously?

Halle Berry and boyfriend/baby-daddy Gabriel Aubry are totally smokin', for reals. Although, dude? White shoes? I know it's not yet Labor Day and whatevs, but still. Those and the plastic baggie are taking a leetle bit of the glow off your shine.

(Also? Who's that guy in the background who looks like an accountant from the neck up and Eminem from the neck down? He's creeping me out.)

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Armani Shows David Beckham's Huge, Bulging Personality

sweatpantsmom — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:35:00 GMT

Here's a sneak peek at David Beckham's new Armani campaign, where he shows off his massive personality. David's enormous personality is apparent in this ad, which is a gigantic, hanging mural facing Macy's in San Francisco.

Can you imagine how humongous and overpowering his personality must be in a poster two-stories high? I'll bet if you look closely you could even make out the veins in his personality. Why, if I were driving by such a mural I might crash my car while being distracted by that inviting, sizable personality.

Beckham was shot on the beaches of Malibu by renowned fashion photographers Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott. They must be talented, as they expertly highlighted and emphasized the soccer star's dominating asset - his throbbing personality.

Obviously David's got a big personality and I'm sure he knows how to use it.

Halle Berry's Baby Daddy: NOT HOT

HerBadMother — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 21:03:00 GMT

Did Halle Berry really sleep with this guy? Dude is waaaay too metrosexual to be sleeping with someone with such great boobs. His hair is frosted and he has obviously manicured nails. Plus, no man should ever, ever wear mock turtlenecks, especially not in white and especially not when the neck is going to draw attention to an artfully neglected patch of neck stubble. I'll bet any money that dude waxes his nether regions.

If Gabriel Aubry just let go of the manic attention to grooming and the pleated pants, he could be quite hot. He bears a slight resemblance to Josh Holloway (Sawyer from Lost), who in my opinion is one of the hottest men alive, not least because he rocks the dirty-messy bad boy look like nobody's bizniss. Rrwarr. Rough-and-tumble is hot, waxed and polished is not. Unless you're baring your waxed-but-tattooed tushy at every opportunity. That can be kinda hot. Just ask David Beckham.

Where was I? Right. Gabriel Aubry. Lose the frosted tips, dude.

Attention K-Mart Shoppers: Russell Crowe on Aisle 4

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 14:05:00 GMT

When manly man Russell Crowe isn't bashing in the heads of hotel desk clerks, he likes to relax by picking out a nice pair of capris or filling his basket with toilet paper and Hot Pockets. "I love going shopping...I can do the supermarket in six minutes. I can pick out the first nine things my wife would like to try on. I'm not bragging; it's fact. I have retail-therapy issues. But I am cool with that. I shop with a big smile on my face." Crowe doesn't mention whether the big smile is from getting a discount on a family-pak of lunchmeat or from knocking back a pint, but it's impressive nonetheless.

In an interview with Men's Journal, Russell, currently starring in American Gangster, confesses his love of all things retail. "I have a black belt in it. My wife [Danielle] really appreciates that in me. Whatever you need, mate, I'll get it." Looks like you'll find this Gladiator in your grocer's freezer.

[photo: Celebitchy.com]