FameCrawler : mommy fashion don'ts

Sharon Stone Mans Up

HerBadMother — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 13:33:00 GMT

This picture of Sharon Stone - doing her very best to redefine female transvestism for the new millenium (Victor/Victoria, anyone?) - raises just one question for me:

Is she a MILF, a DILF, or something else - Pimp Mama? Morris Day? - entirely?

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Victoria Beckham: WTF?

HerBadMother — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Seriously. This is not a good look for her.

I mean, it's not like she's known for quiet restraint in matters of style, but this? Is fug. REALLY fug. Let me count the ways:

1) Tube dress on over-worked-out body = stick figure.

2) Poo-brown tube dress on overtanned over-worked-out body = orange stick figure bearing discomfiting resemblance to Mr. Hankey.

3) Squashed fake boobs = orange stick figure bearing discomfiting resemblance to Mr. Hankey, with suspicious bulges. Also, ewww.

4) Contrasting bangs = spray paint accident?

5) Contrasting bangs with strange little bow = spray paint accident involving sugared-up toddlers with crafts box.

And don't get me started on the visible bra straps.

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Victoria Beckham Redefines Mom Jeans

HerBadMother — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:36:00 GMT

See? This is what a mom really should wear to the park with her kids. Bright yellow low-slung jeans, cut extra long to cover one's five inch stiletto boots and drag in the grass. You know, for that authentic grass-stained look.

Top it off with a mini satin zip-front jacket - no top underneath, natch - and some bright yellow-framed aviators and you're set. Where do you put the Ziploc bags with the kid's snacks? Dunno. Does it matter? You should have help for that.

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