FameCrawler : sperminator

Jamie Lynn: Giving Up Baby To Mom?

HerBadMother — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 12:24:00 GMT

Apparently, Jamie Lynn Spears is considering giving up her baby to be raised by her mother. Which, I don't know. I mean, this may be mean to say, but I'm not sure that there's tons of evidence that Lynne Spears is a dab hand at parenting. Especially when sources claim that her objective in taking the baby off her daughter's hands is to help young Jamie Lynn maintain her career. "Lynne is convinced that having a baby on her hip will not help Jamie Lynn's future in the business," said the source, who spoke to Us Magazine, "and she's expecting her daughter to pick up where she left off as soon as the baby is born."

I'm not sure that the truly maternal first concern here should be her teenager's career. I mean, look what teen career-obsession did to her other kid. Britney's gone so entirely off the rails that she isn't even within sight of the tracks anymore. So although it maybe seems prudent for a pregnant sixteen year-old to hand her child off to her mother for rearing, in this case I'm not so sure. Again, I don't know. Maybe it's better than the alternatives. I can't even speculate about what's best for these girls anymore.

God. It's almost impossible to write about the Spears clan without heaving big, tragic sighs.

Source

Jamie Lynn Spears' Pregnancy is "Normal"

sweatpantsmom — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 14:05:00 GMT

Here in backwards Hollywood the idea of a 16-year old getting pregnant may have all of us doing Hail Marys, but in Jamie Lynn Spears' hometown of Kentwood, La, it's an everyday occurrence. “No one can understand why the media is making such a big deal over Jamie’s pregnancy,” local resident Mandy Knight told OK! Magazine. “That’s normal for people around here … her pregnancy really isn’t so shocking.”

Thanks, Mandy, for reminding the rest of America to never let their daughters visit Kentwood alone.

Jamie Lynn's hometown has also rallied around it's resident sperminator, Casey Aldridge. “We’re all so proud of him for doing the right thing,” says the town librarian, Cheryl Rape, oblivious to the irony of her name. "We all do wish him well."

And by 'well' they mean "try not to get your cousin pregnant next."

Kelly Preston Also Wants to Get Pregnant; Maybe Diddy Can Help Her, Too

BadKitty — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:04:00 GMT

Now Kelly Preston wants to get with child. Did she whisper this in a husky, lust filled voice to husband John Travolta over Bartles and Jaymes Fuzzy Navel wine coolers? No. They announced it together to People magazine. At a Narconon Rehab fundraiser. Mmm, sexy.

There's only one reason for telling the world that you're planning some unprotected sex, and that's if you're shopping for someone else to provide that unprotected sex. Someone with a proven record of making girls pregnant the "old fashioned" way that involves genital contact.

My first thought for these two was Diddy, because we've been talking a lot about his baby making ways. But maybe I'm being too narrow in my focus. What if we opened it up to other proven sperminators? What if we considered a certain much maligned but now lionized singer/dancer/actor/performer...Yes. I'm talking about Fed-ex. Look, we know he can deliver. And it's not like the Travoltas would be using People as a pimp if they could just borrow William Mapother, right?

Can't you hear him saying, "No charge for the ladies!"

Source: People