Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

TeganFl — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:57:51 GMT

Just sort of thinking aloud here... How many women would have a drug free delivery if no other person could ever, ever know about it. Yes, it's fine to be proud of yourself, for YOURSELF. Me thinks many decisions have more to do with beating the "Listen to what I did" stick over the heads of other "Less accomplished" women. The ONLY thing I was interested in for the birth of my children was that we all lived and suffered no permanent ill effects.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

mags — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:31:17 GMT

I think she has a right to be proud. Childbirth is difficult, no matter how it is accomplished - but if she had a goal and she met that goal, then hell yeah, she should be proud. Breastfeeding was the hardest thing I've ever done and I am so fucking proud of myself. Does that mean I judge women who chose not to? No way. We all make our own decisions for our own reasons.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Amanda — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:28:44 GMT

Well said HerBadMother. That's all I was trying to get at.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

HerBadMother — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:28:25 GMT

who said she was an absentee mother? i just suggested that being a loving parent was - on any reasonable terms - a greater accomplishment than popping the kid out. and i'm sure she is that. so why not be proudest of that?

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

chillpill — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 05:12:27 GMT

It's an accomplishment for her and she's entitled to be proud of it. She chose to have her baby be born without being exposed to various narcotics. It's not an easy task and for many it is not even possible.

She has every reason to be proud of herself. I've done it twice and it hurt like a mother'effer, caused some pretty serious damage, but it was the right choice for ME and I went through hell to make it happen. It was difficult. I am proud of myself for doing something difficult. I've done many other difficult things and this was one of them. I imagine she feels similarly.

Let's support another woman who successfully birthed her child. It's a bit of a stretch to suggest that since she has had an unmedicated birth she is now an absentee mother. It's one quote in one article. I strongly suspect it doesn't come close to summing up her feelings about motherhood in its entirety. Not many of us are the sum of one quote, I hope.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

mamaT — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:17:52 GMT

If we are so blessed as to have another child, I will have a drug free delivery. My first, I did not, out of ignorance, and my son and I both suffered side effects. If I am able to have a natural delivery, I will definitely see that as an accomplishment!

The idea that it doesn't matter how a baby is born is one that people with guilt and defensiveness seem to perpetuate. It does matter how we birth. Birth is a natural event, unlike an appendectomy. The overuse of interventions has led to many complications for both mother and baby in our country. So when women are able to learn more, to do better, that is an accomplishment and an important thing.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

HerBadMother — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:30:43 GMT

I'm not at all defensive. I've done it both ways - with pain meds and without. BOTH were accomplishments. I'm just saying that if she thinks that it was the going without pain meds that made her accomplishment special, then that's a little dumb. YOU BIRTHED A BABY. It's a great thing no matter how it happened.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Sherry — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:22:47 GMT

Wow! You do all sound defensive. If you are so sure pain relief was the right decision for you, then why are your feathers all ruffled. Who cares what Emma thinks about her own experience. She didn't say she was superior to you. She is talking about her life and events within that context.

I had two with no pain relief and no special prep like lamaze. Do I think it was my greatest accomplishment? No. Do I think my birth experience was somehow more valid or more of an accomplishment than other? No. But you bet I am proud of it as it was the most physically demanding thing I have ever done.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Amber — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:20:17 GMT

i don't think its anyones place to judge how you choose to have your child as long as it is the right choice for you. You shouldn't have to defend yourself if you are confident in what you have done. I have only had my children naturally at home, so I don't know how it feels to be in the hospital and the relief an epidural gives. I do know that I do feel pride in the way I could be there for the birth in every way, and I know this is the only way I want to give birth. If I had complications and had to have medical help, I would gladly accept it. The pain involved in a natural birth, to me, is something totally different from anything I have ever experienced and I just feel it is a part of birth and life and has made me feel more woman than anything else in my entire life. I guess maybe that is what she might mean about natural childbirth being the greatest accomplishment of her life. That is a long comment, sorry...

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

emarie — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:42:37 GMT

You all sound really defensive.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Chiken — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:01:01 GMT

I'm five months pregnant with my first. While I was visiting my MIL a few weeks ago she asked me whether my mother had natural childbirths, and I explained that I believe she had not. Then dear MIL bragged that she had had both of her sons without painkillers, and that I should be able to do that too -- "if you've taken lamaze class seriously, it shouldn't be too hard, and of course it's better for the baby, so it is selfish not to do it naturally." I, naturally, wanted to smack her, but since I am oh so mature I just ignored it and changed topics. But REALLY.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

chyna823 — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 23:29:19 GMT

I roll my eyes at it too. If you choose to go through the pain, fine--that's your choice. But just because I chose the epidural (largely because it was midnight and I needed to catch some zz's for the big push) doesn't make my birth any less an accomplishment.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Amanda — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:52:10 GMT

I agree. Then again I had an emergency c-section. I can see where women have a sense of pride and accomplishment about their births. And they should. But we all should, no matter how the baby came into the world. Some of us want medication and others don't. Who cares. You are no less of a woman for choosing it or not choosing it. You are also no less of a woman if you go in planning for a natural labor and end up with a c-section (like me!). There are so many variables and women should not be defined by them. We should be defined by how we raise and love our children, if anything. So yeah, I agree with the whole "I had my baby "naturally", it was so painful, I am so awesome", thing. I tend to roll my eyes at it as well.

re: Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Alice — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:54:40 GMT

Passing my senior level nuclear physics class with an A was the greatest thing I ever accomplished. And I had to use my brains to do that not my coochie.