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Father of the Year

Introduction to Ava

In Bedtime Stories I write about my kids, now 6 and 9, when they were much younger. My then wife moved out when Ava was three and Chet eight-months old.  For those of you who haven't read it yet I wanted to catch you up a bit on what they're like.  I'll begin here with Ava.  Here's some of what I wrote about her in the book: 

 

"My kids are magnificent.  Everybody says so.  In general they seem to intuit that I could easily be overwhelmed by the task at hand so usually cut me some slack and get along.  I had heard that having a girl first makes everything easier and that has certainly been true in my case.  From the day Chet was born Ava has been the poor kid’s bossy, tween-aged mini-mom.  Anna and I had read all the books on sibling rivalry and followed everyone’s advice simultaneously.  We read to her, I’m a Big Sister Now and picked up the trick of conning her into believing that Chet had brought a little present from the beforeworld just for her.  She was barely three when he was born and it wasn’t until a year later that she cornered me and said, Chet didn’t get me that jean jacket from the Gap, did he, daddy?

 


Like me she is sensitive and quiet.  She taught herself to read before kindergarten and quickly loses herself inside the pages of  any book. 

 


My mom was a feminist squared, so growing up in the Seventies, I didn’t have a choice but to believe that a woman’s place was in the House and the Senate, and in my mom’s case, Yale Law School.  She graduated magna cum laude from Howard, was all but her dissertation for her Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Michigan where she also taught, then when my sister and I were teenagers and she was thirty-three years old, she  enrolled in the best and hardest law school in the country. 

 


Three-year-old Ava, on the other hand, was passionate about cooking, baking, her nails, edible makeup and anything having to do with princesses. 

 

I am terrified that she is going to grow up and become a Republican." 

 

Six years later she's still a girly-girl, now Hannah Montana and iCarly and webkinz-obsessed.  She's still addicted to reading, however, Nancy Drew is her drug of choice.  Her teacher and I are trying our best to coax her into more challenging reading.   She's stil giggly and silly around me, flings herself on me and sighs several times a day.  

 

She makes me feel like Elvis.

 

 

 

 


Comments

 

mombo said:

Kids have a way of rebelling--or rather, differentiating themselves from their parents or siblings--in the weirdest ways. As a punk rock girl all through school, I shuddered to think how my own daughter might choose to blaze her own path. Cheerleading? Republicanism? Evangelicalism? All those things are fine and good--they're just not me.

So far, at age 11, she's all about Things Physical: she's not just a pure jock (though she does love softball, soccer, skiing, speed skating, and running) but she loves dancing too. The more activity she can cram into a day, the happier she is. Not at all the path I took as a kid--but definitely one I can live with.

The pic of you two is awesome. Every dad should have a snapshot of that pure love on his kid's face. Thanks for sharing it.

April 4, 2008 2:52 PM
 

leahsmom said:

I think I'm falling in love with your daughter through your blog - she seems like a wonderful little girl/young lady!

April 4, 2008 4:00 PM
 

s.a. said:

Oh my goodness.

The excerpt was lovely, but a picture really is worth a thousand words in this case. The love just leaps off of the screen.

April 4, 2008 6:25 PM
 

Sheri said:

Awww . . . she's the sweetest thing!

April 4, 2008 11:06 PM
 

Tracey said:

"She makes me feel like Elvis." I'm not sure if I've heard a more wonderful compliment from the dad of a girl, but I doubt it.

I always tell people that my son has given me more already than I'll probably ever be able to give him. That absolute, total love in the smile of your child is unmatchable. I'm sure the surly years will take their toll when they get here, but for now I'm going to enjoy basking in the warmth of my personal little sunbeam.    

April 5, 2008 8:48 PM
 

Manjari said:

She looks a lot like you. She's beautiful!

April 5, 2008 9:07 PM
 

EG said:

That photo is priceless!

April 6, 2008 11:39 AM
 

Gracie5 said:

You know, I was also addicted to Nancy Drew when I was a kid.  A friend of my mom's gave me almost the whole original series, and I was in heaven.  I used to read so much that I would actually get in trouble for it occasionally, because I would get so lost in the books that I missed out on things going on around me (like the start of class, for example, or my mom's orders to get my room cleaned).  The point is that it is always good to have a love of reading as a foundation...hopefully that will help you lure her to the more challenging stuff.  Good luck with that!

April 9, 2008 9:52 AM
 

Harriet said:

Aw...so sweet. She's nine, huh? have you introduced her to Judy Blume's books? They're really good. And the American Girl books (the historical ones) are interesting and educational, targeted at girls her age, and great feeders of the imagination, though they are pricey and the matching merchandise (which she doesn't have to know exists if you don't want her to) is really expensive. Oh, and she seems, based on my extremely limited knowledge derived solely from this post, as though she is the kid of girl who would really enjoy _A Little Princess_ or the Shoes books by Noel Streatfield (_Ballet Shoes_ is the most famous, probably the easiest to find). Wow...she seems so sweet. Good luck with it all!

April 18, 2008 12:34 AM

in

About the Blogger

Arthur Bradford

Trey Ellis in Manhattan

The author of Bedtimes Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood, Trey is busy raising his school-aged girl and boy in New York City. When he’s not shuttling them to public school, he is a novelist, screenwriter, political blogger on the HuffingtonPost and film professor. Visit his website here.

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