Chet, at least, is never one to beat around the bush. Ava can be more mysterious. A is my first full-time girlfriend since the kids were very, very little and in general we all get along as if we'd all grown up together but of course there have been some rough patches. They were suspicious about my "friend" A for a month or so before I fessed up and since then it's Chet, much more than Ava, who has asked the hard questions. You'd think it would be the opposite. I'm her Elvis. Whenever I'm in Ava's presence she can't go more than a few minutes without saying, "I love you, daddy" and throwing herself around my waist for a full-body hug. My slightest display of displeasure with her brings her to the brink of tears. And yet she genuinely seems to enjoy A's presence and her amazing little daughter. With A and her daughter around Ava is no longer the only girl in our boyish house. A answers Ava's burning questions about makeup and boys. Ava's never acted jealous of A even for a heartbeat. And believe me, she had before. Back when she was five she would conveniently throw herself all over me the moment I sat down to flirt with any cute mom in the park. It was hilarious how she'd pick that exact moment to play with my hair, lovingly strangle me and kiss me.
Chet has been asking more pointed questions about A from the beginning but yesterday he took it to a new level. Chet, Ava and I were walking home from school yesterday when Chet said, "Who do you love more, A or us?" I immediately answered, "you guys," instead of going into a discourse on the difference between philia, agape and eros; that is, familial, spiritual and sexual love. I knew he needed only the simple answer. This was no time for one of my many daily sermons. Then he said this:
"If you had to kill one of us, who would you kill?"
"CHET!" howled Ava. "Why are you so stupid!"
"Don't call your brother stupid, but Chet, I'm not killing anybody, what are you talking about?"
"Yeah, Chet. What are you talking about?"
"Ava. I'll handle it."
I'm glad he felt secure enough in asking. I'm glad to know exactly what's on his mind and of course I realize that this blending of our two families will have to go slowly. He's great with A in person. He really is. She turned him on to her favorite film, "The Karate Kid," and now it's his favorite too.
We're all off to Atlantic City tomorrow to see Chris Rock and then Philadelphia where I'll be on a panel at the Philadelphia Book Fair. This will be our first weekend adventure together.
Wish us luck.
