I just found myself giving the finger to the TV set. CNN was on with some story about how a great Mother's Day gift would be to give your mom a checkup at the doctor. After all, they said, mothers do everything around the house so when they're sick the entire family falls apart.
That's when I gave my flat screen the finger. Look, I have nothing but respect for moms and of course I realize that in the majority of homes they still do most all the heavy lifting while the dad waltzes home from work, unloads the dishwasher six times a year and wants a medal for each time. But in my house that stereotype hardly applies. And this Sunday, after A and I made French toast and eggs and bagels for my two, her one and another one she was looking after, I rushed off to back-to-back playdates, not returning home till eight, their schoolday bedtime, hustling them into bed and then lugging a Santa Claus-sized laundry bag down to the building's basement to do two loads of laundry.
My own mother passed away when I was sixteen so for me it's mainly been a grandmother's day anyway.
The few actual Mother's Days I did celebrate back when we were still married were already weird for me. My ex had insisted that we split everything down the middle to the minute and Sundays were my day, Saturday's hers. When her third Mother's Day came I offered to switch days but she said she already had plans. This was a year before I was actually a single-father but I remember the sad smiles I got from the intact family next to us at the restaurant. It seemed clear to me that they thought I was a young widower. I guess it was clear to me that's what they were thinking becuase that's how I felt.
By now, five years later, we're all so used to it. I made the kids make cards for their mom and grandmom and mailed them down to the little town in Georgia where they live. My friends are so used to it as well. I'm sure this Sunday I'll get at least one call from a wiseass wishing me well.
I like this one because I can pretend that the polar bear is a dude.
Happy Mother's Day to all you real mothers out there. I learned so much about what I know about parenting from you.
