Father of the Year : step parenting

Putting on the Ritz

Trey — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:55:00 GMT

There's nothing to make your heart explode in your chest like seeing your son in his first tux.

And your daughter her first time as a flower girl. My cousin Eileen just got married last weekend at a mansion off of Fifth Avenue (turned into her Catholic school). The kids fit right in with the painted ceilings and intricate woodwork. Chet danced up and down the massive marble staircase like one of the Nicholas Brothers in the 1930s.

At the reception I danced with all my girls, absolutely enveloped in love. By our side Chet did his Saturday Night Fever impersonation and he was pretty good at it too. It turns out that his 2nd grade class plays "freeze dance" every

Friday afternoon (if they've been good).

Back in the Thick of It

Trey — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 22:57:00 GMT

This was our first week with our new arrangement and all in all it's been going pretty well. The hardest part has been Chet. After a month in Georgia with his mother and grandmother it's been a little hard for him up here. He just said that the huge log home in the woods on a lake where they live is his real home. He's also been asking me, repeatedly, if I had to choose between A and him and his sister who would I pick.

I'm not sure how much of that is him just being a natural-born actor and how much of it is real. He is playful and wonderful around A and of course it's hard for him to believe me when I say that A and I are planning on being together forever. With Cristina, my previous girlfriend, who lived in Italy, the kids never had any real competition for my day-to-day affection. Now A is here half the week but she is a very steady presence in our lives so of course there will be some growing pains. It's just that my amazing little seven-yearp-old shoots off the hardest questions to answer.

Just the other day we were all having a great family dinner at a local diner when he asked, "If you and A break up will you get your keys back?" Yikes. But a little later he and I finished an intricate Mega Blocks (knockoff Lego's not nearly as good) medieval battlement diorama and he ran to show it off to her.

He's an expert at pushing my buttons but compounding things was what a new grad student of mine said in class. He was very close to his father until he turned six and his parents divorced and he remarried. I'm determined to keep my kids close to me AND my darling A. I'm greedy that way.

Any advice?

I'm Such a Sap

Trey — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:57:00 GMT

I can't believe how clean their room is when they're not in it. And I can't believe how I much I miss those loud, (sometimes) pains in the asses. I'm having a deep and wonderful time here with just A and M and I'm spending some alone time just with M so A can write and that has been a treat, but I really, really miss my other kids too. I'm flying to Georgia on Tuesday for Chet's birthday and just can't wait to wrestle him, can't wait to squeeze Ava till she giggles. This is the only time of the year that I'm away from them so long and I know it's good for them to spend time with their mom and grandma and I know it's good for us three to get a little break from each other, but geez. It hurts.

We talk every day on the phone, Ava much more than Chet, who still does little more than parrot back to me what it was that I just told him. I can't help but think that eight years from now when she goes away to college I'm gonna be a wreck.

I've been thinking a lot about love and such these days and still can't believe that I'm surrounded by so much of it. I went out for a BNO the other night (which turned out to be us three guys staying in and watching Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo, one of the funniest comedies this year and one of the smartest political satires). My friend Mustapha asked me how I was doing. Without even thinking I replied, "Never better," and then had to smile. It's true. I feel surrounded by people that love me and for that I'm ridiculously lucky.

How about you? Any pithy revelations this summer?