My New Family

re: My New Family

Jah Jah's Momma — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 05:44:07 GMT

Yes, I am Asian & my daughter's poppa is African American...she is a beautiful blend of our features, the texture of her hair is Asian but it's very curly...when daddy & baby walk in a room together, they ask him right away what her other half is...and this is in very progressive SF Bay Area...really, it doesn't matter to my family, b/c we don't see that but yes, people are VERY nosey, esp. if they are of my race or of her daddy's race...it's like they want to put the baby on one side or the other...sort of like the Tiger Woods' issue...

re: My New Family

Labgirl — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:54:00 GMT

I'm 34 and still sometimes have people ask if my mother is "really" my mother because we look nothing alike. I guess some things never change.

Lisa

re: My New Family

Tracey — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 03:20:31 GMT

I dated a guy who was biracial (his mother was white, his father was black), for a few years. He was adopted by a black family when he was a baby. His adopted parents caught hell all the time because Sean was a light skinned baby and they were brown skinned. This was in New York City in the early 70s and Sean's dad told me he carried a knife because people would try to provoke him into fights about his son.

The local shopping center nearest to one of the most upscale neighborhoods is rife with white women carrying black/asian babies. I'd never ask why because it's not my business. I just assume they are probably adopted and very much loved.

re: My New Family

Shleen — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 03:31:07 GMT

Yes it happens to me all the time. I have Auburn color hair, my husband has brown hair & our daughter has GORGEOUS red curly hair. You can tell by looking at her that she's our kid (she's a great mixture of both my husband & myself) but the hair throws people off. I had this friend who dyed her hair the same color as my daughters. So when we would hang out together w/ my daughter people would look at her & say how beautiful my daughter is. I would say thank you & they'd look at me like I was stealing the compliment. We would laugh about it. But it happened the other day when we took her to Kindergarten for her 1st day of school. People asked me if she was adopted. I firmly said NO & told them that her Papa had red curly hair when he was younger. I think people sometimes think we STOLE her or something.

re: My New Family

MM — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 23:55:06 GMT

I probably will get this...I'm black and I'm pregnant by my white boyfriend. I haven't thought about how I'll address it, or how annoying it will be. Currently, I'm getting the prying questions more about not being married. In this day and age!

re: My New Family

EG — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:35:19 GMT

I know of a girl (sister of a friend) who just got her master's and works with AmeriCorps focusing on racial identity of multi-racial children. It's fascinating. She started thinking about it when she was doing her college applications and didn't know what box to check.

In this country we feel a strong need to put people in a box (Tiger Woods is black? If you really want to measure his heritage, he's Asian). In your experience traveling, is it the same other places?

re: My New Family

Sarah — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 07:04:49 GMT

I have a daughter whose father is African and I am white. Now I am married to a white man and pregnant with his child. I live in Southern California and almost every weekend someone asks me if she is adopted. I am begininning to hate this since I don't want my daughter to feel like she is not part of our family. She is ours. My white husband is raising her as his own since her dad is no longer in the picture. Any ideas on some good answers to keep them quiet?

re: My New Family

Jen — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:41:55 GMT

Some questioners are genuinely interested in the genetic/environmental permutations, others are malicious. Too little time to attend to questioning strangers. My one-size-fits-all answer when asked if my blond twins are mine (they look like their father) is to smile and say "I certainly hope so".

re: My New Family

SingleMomSeeking — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 02:10:33 GMT

I got comments like this ALL the time, when I lived in NYC!! (In California, people are either too polite or too PC...?)

I'm white, my daughter is biracial (black on her father's side), and strangers used to stop me all the time in NYC to ask: "Which country did you adopt her from?"

As you know, Trey, I'm back in NYC this week, and now my daughter is 8. Interestingly, the comments on this trip have been very different. On the subway, numerous African American men have said to me, "Wow, your daughter looks just like you."

I've taken their comments graciously.

re: My New Family

carly — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:06:54 GMT

my mother is caucasian, my father was puerto rican. my mother's current husband is african american/native american -- and when we go out we get stares and rude questions like you would NOT believe.

you're not alone.

viva la mixta!

re: My New Family

Melissa — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:58:48 GMT

My mother is white. Once when I was about 7 or 8 we were out together without my dad and a man walked up and asked right in front of me if I was adopted. It didn't really bother me at the time, but it really pissed my mother off.

re: My New Family

Maren — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 04:34:49 GMT

ARGH! I hate the questions from people. My husband is blond w/ blue eyes & fair skin and I have black hair and darker skin and my boys look just like their dad. I think this is awesome, but I'm getting weary of the comments from the elderly ladies everywhere I go with them... YES, they are MINE! I could show you the stretch marks to prove it, but that might be a little awkward in the middle of the supermarket.