I’m a late bloomer. I got my period late and my boobs even later (actually, I’m still waiting for those.) So it makes sense that I got married at 41, and had a kid at 43. Sure, I look young. I know about moisturizer is all. Alls I’m saying is when I tell people how old I am and that I have a two year old I almost always get the same response.
“So, what kind of fertility drugs did you use?”
And when I tell them I didn’t use any, they look at me like I’m lying.
Believe, me, if I took some drugs or got IVF, I’d be telling everyone how I did it. I am a believer in sharing information. As a matter of fact, when my doctor told me that I couldn’t have kids because my eggs were rotten, I went around telling people I was infertile. I started using that word because when we decided to adopt, I’d always, and I mean
always, be met with people saying “but you can have one of your own too.” After glaring hard at them for that insensitive remark, I’d just reply “No, I am infertile.” I have stopped at least 2 dinner parties with that remark.
But now I don’t say that. Now when I get asked I just say that I got pregnant by fucking. And when their jaws drop (because it’s usually strangers who ask me this) I continue on and say “Yes, fucking. Fucking two times a day. Penis. In. Vagina. No condom. You know, with the squirting.”
After that, they kinda walk away.
