Pregnancy update: so far, so good. No worrisome symptoms. In fact, no symptoms at all. That's pretty common for me. I generally feel remarkably UNpregnant until near the beginning of the second trimester, when I have always developed really strong food aversions and some cravings, as well. But in general, I've been pretty lucky to have easy pregnancies.
When I was pregnant with J., I could not bear the smell of tuna or any fish-like odor. With E., I was literally obsessed with Chinese hot and sour soup. I distinctly recall making my then-husband stop at Chinese restaurants we just happened to be driving by, just so I could grab a bowl of soup. My pregnancy with E. was also the only one where I had any "morning sickness" to speak of (a misnomer, since I was sick all day). I felt pretty rotten from about month 3 to month 6. I tried all the suggested remedies, including fresh ginger and sea bands (what a joke). Nothing helped but lying in a warm bath as much as possible. I had a very easy pregnancy with C., and aside from feeling pretty sleepy early on, and dealing with terrible bouts of restless legs syndrome in the last month or two, I felt great.
I am hoping that this pregnancy goes as easily. And I am beginning in a very tentative way to think about whether I even want to discuss trying a VBAC. You see, after three regular, old births, I ended up with a c-section last time. And the whole experience leading up to it was pretty exhausting and overwhelming. And there's a part of me that just wants to avoid even the RISK of ending up working that hard again, only to end up with the damn surgery anyway. But then again, it is surgery - not something to take lightly. (Question for those who have had two c-sections: does that terrible belly overhang thing that happens after you get sliced and diced become TWICE as horrifying after a repeat c-section? Because if it does, I am going to cry now.)
I am certainly getting ahead of myself. But with every day that passes, I am beginning to dare to hope that there will be a baby this time, instead of no baby, and a dull ache in my head and my heart. Thinking about the pregnancy as a real thing, not a maybe thing, is healthy, I think. I hope.
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