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Crazy clomidians

I try not to judge other people's family-building choices, as long as they love their kids and can take care of them. Gay, straight, married, divorced, big families, small families, IVF or surrogacy, bio-children or adopted....  These choices belong to the competent adults making them. I also believe that the decision as to whether, when and how many children a woman has should belong to her, not to me, or to you. Reproductive freedom is among the most fundamental of human rights.

 

So why am I struggling so hard to wrap my head around the apparently large number - judging from discussion on the interwebs - of perfectly fertile women who are taking fertility drugs - often unprescribed -  for the sole purpose of increasing their chances of achieving twins, triplets or even quads?

 

 

I discovered this phenomenon after I myself was prescribed clomid by my doctor. I am extremely nervous about taking it, and as is my way, I began researching the topic somewhat obsessively, mostly online. I knew that the medication ups a woman's chances of conceiving multiples - something I really want to avoid - so I Googled "clomid multiples." As I began perusing the sites that popped up, I noticed that at least one-fourth of the conversation about taking the drug centered around the correct dosages and timing to take the drug in order to become pregnant with more than one bambino.

 

This just seems....crazy to me. I mean, the serious health and disability risks to babies born in groups of two, three and four are exponentially higher. If a woman is already capable of conceiving and carrying a healthy pregnancy to term, why would she take a fertility medicine with the sole purpose in her case being to create that risky situation for her own baby(ies)? And as for taking it unprescribed - GAH! I am scared to death to be taking it with a precription under the careful supervision of my doctor. I cannot imagine getting it from some place in Mexico and then taking it without any monitoring. And if I became pregnant with twins, I would be very, very anxious.

 

But maybe I am being too hard on these women. I mean, plenty of people think I am crazy myself for trying this hard to have a fifth child at age 41.  Maybe I'm really no different.

 

But I'm curious to know what other people think of this apparent trend of trying to have multiples using unprescribed meds. Would you ever consider doing this? HAVE you done this?

 

Tell me what you think .

 

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Comments

 

Claire said:

Woah! That's really strange. Multiples have always seemed ten times more scary to me, and would give me serious pause if I ever needed to use fertility drugs. So, okay, I guess there are people out there who want a bunch of kids at one time, or aren't afraid of all the complications of multiples.

But also-- taking Clomid unprescribed seems like a really, really terrible idea. Are these women seeing an OB/GYN regularly while they're taking black-market Clomid? Somehow I doubt it.

So I'm with you on the fear-of-multiples, and the fear-of-clomidians.

January 8, 2009 3:10 PM
 

Melissa said:

I'm afraid to touch this subject because I don't want to offend anyone.  

There is such an explosion of multiples due to fertility drugs. It's all a little confusing to me.  I don't know which side I stand on. I know if I was unable to conceive naturally, I certainly would have considered and probably tried fertility drugs.  And twins and trips are risky enough, but when I see quads and up, it really makes me wonder.  Often at least one of the children suffers from some disability.  Are we toying with nature?  Where is the line?  

Certainly, though, if able to conceive and carry to term naturally I personally would never, ever consider taking any steps to control the outcome of a pregnancy in anyway.  That includes trying to determine the sex as well as the amount.  I mean, I wanted a girl, was given a boy and I'm so thrilled.  

I'm not a church-goer, but I do believe God has a plan.  I'm not sure where that line gets drawn...but it seems the more advances we make to help those in need, the more people want to use it for their own desires.

January 8, 2009 3:12 PM
 

nancy said:

I wonder if the plan is to have multiples to get all the baby "work" out of the way at once? I'm sure moms who've had twins or more the natural way would have a thing or two to say about that strategy.

I've never taken fertility drugs, nor would I take the chance in doing so with unprescribed meds. I think anyone who does so has to accept the responsibility of possibly raising a disabled kid as a result of their actions. I don't get what would drive someone to do this, but nothing surprises me these days.

January 8, 2009 3:45 PM
 

Andrea said:

Never is a woman's life at more risk than when pregnant (singlet OR multiple). I have a 12 1/2 year old and 8 1/2 year old twins NATURALLY!! I have to say, I got a lot of attention because of twins. It's infectiously exciting to everyone around you. My thought is that these women trying to conceive multiples may be in it for the attention, not just "get it over with in one time." And, Katie, you seem a little obsessed with multiples yourself!

January 8, 2009 3:59 PM
 

kgranju said:

I am SOOOOO worried that this drug is going to cause me to conceive multiples that I am a little obsessed - not in a good way. It's a huge fear I have. I am very worried about it. It almost caused me to decline the prescription, even though I do think it's my best shot at carrying a baby past the first trimester. So yeah, it's on my mind. No doubt. I've even been having bad dreams about it.

-Katie

January 8, 2009 4:02 PM
 

EG said:

I'm with Andrea, I might theorize that these women, while I'm sure most would love and care well for their children, are seduced by the amount of attention they will get.

They should hang with a family of multiples of different ages.  Nightime feedings, toddler toy fights, teenage friend fights, and simultaneous college tuition.

I believe we rise to meet what God/ life hands us.  And if I got multiples someday, we'd be fine.  But I would not ask for it!

January 8, 2009 4:05 PM
 

W said:

I'm the father of twins (conceived naturally) and with a year of experience at that I think anyone trying to conceive multiples is a little crazy and not really aware of what they're trying to get themselves into.  I think Andrea may be on to something, there's sooo much more attention from everyone around you if you have multiples.

That said, you shouldn't worry so much about have multiples yourself.  It's a lot of work, but you're an experienced mother and apparently have a very attentive husband so you guys would be fine if you end up with twins or more.  And being a parent of multiples does have its own unique rewards.  It's a similar to what I've seen you write about C and her cousin of the same age.  Just with less sleep.

January 8, 2009 4:29 PM
 

Andrea said:

And don't even get me started on breastfeeding (which I successfully did for 4 months) and diapers.

January 8, 2009 5:36 PM
 

Dewi said:

Ahhhh the magic of the internet we can find every oddball person in the world doing something a sane person would never do! Taking a very strong drug like Clomid when it is not medically indicated!

I believe the women doing this are not emotionally well.

January 8, 2009 6:23 PM
 

wandergrrl said:

I haven't read about those who are trying to conceive multiples with Clomid, but it seems like a bad idea of so many levels. I'm also surprised, though, because my understanding is that Clomid doesn't increase your chance of multiples by a huge margin. I have unsuccessfully gone through three rounds of IUI with oral Clomid. My fertility docs made it clear that they considered it sort of an entry-level fertility treatment, because IUI is much less invasive than IVF and because oral Clomid doesn't generally cause you to ovulate like crazy, like some other, more powerful injectable drugs. (They can tell, because when you do it under a doctor's care, they ultrasound your ovaries all the time to see what's going on.)

Anyhoo, that's one piece of data to chew on. It's possible Clomid may not increase your risk for multiples as much as you think. I would definitely ask to see some statistics, if you haven't already.

As for the experience of taking Clomid: it stunk, and I had every side effect in the book, from hot flashes to visual disturbances (which are, apparently, rare). Still, it seems like a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the inconvenience/discomfort/toll on your body of pregnancy and childbirth, so on that level I don't think it's a big deal.

January 8, 2009 6:33 PM
 

Autumn said:

I tend to think fertility treatments in general are a hugely unnecessary risk. The obsession with having a biologically related child in a word filled with parentless children strikes me as odd to begin with, but to take a risky medication just to achieve a mini-you is something I can't wrap my brain around. The fact that people are putting themselves and their babies at risk just to have a shot at multiples is even more off putting. My feeling is, if you have qualifications for raising a child - must be able bodied, must be a multiple, must be biologically related - you're probably not going to make the best parent.

January 8, 2009 9:14 PM
 

Summer said:

Having one newborn/baby/toddler is challenging enough...I couldn't imagine multiple!!! But then again..maybe I'm just not as patient as some of those woman?? I doubt it..there's got to be more reason to it?  Like the others said...attention..gettig it "all done at once", or they want that girl/girl or boy/boy.  

January 9, 2009 12:01 PM
 

Laura said:

Having observed firsthand the lifelong challenges (intellectual, physical, etc.) that preterm birth can bring about, I wish people would think seriously about the sobering reality of the risks to child's quality of life, rather than their own desires.

January 9, 2009 4:13 PM
 

Toby said:

I agree with Autumn. This is no crazier than taking clomid in the first place, especially when someone *already has* multiple children at age 41.

January 9, 2009 9:41 PM
 

sarah said:

I think taking a prescription medicine without a prescription is pretty crazy.  The purpose of clomid is to help people get pregnant not have multiples.  And slightly off subject, but having worked as an adoption counselor and with foster children I can tell you that adoption (foreign and domestic) comes with its own special challenges.  And sometimes people are not up to those challenges.  It certainly doesn't mean they will be bad parents or that the reason they decide not to adopt is because they want a "mini me."  Everyone needs to make the choices that are ultimately the best for their families

January 10, 2009 12:01 AM
 

paula said:

trying for multiples just seems down right nuts

January 10, 2009 8:28 AM
 

Dewi said:

I live in Manhattan and many of my daughter's friends and schoolmates were adopted. It is unfair and simplistic to think any one who can't get pregnant should adopt.

Life's decisions are not so clear cut.

January 10, 2009 11:30 AM
 

Clisby said:

I'm a bad one to ask, because I wasn't even willing to chart temperatures to get pregnant.  But to me, Clomid use is Clomid use.    To take it is to deliberately risk multiple births, and all that entails - particular the potential downside for the children themselves.   I don't see that the maternal motivation matters.  

January 10, 2009 12:44 PM
 

kgranju said:

I think Clisby's point is fair.

Toby, who gets to say when it's "unreasonable" to try to have another baby? Some would say that even one child is too many. Lots would say that three is too many.

-Katie

January 10, 2009 1:53 PM
 

Beth A. said:

I think the difference between taking Clomid when you're infertile and have ovulation problems and when you have normal fertility is that if you're infertile, you have a 95% chance of having a singleton if you get pregnant.  On the other hand, if you ovulate normally and then take a medication that stimulates ovulation, I have to think that your chances of multiple ovulation is much much higher.  When you add in taking a prescription medication without a doctor's supervision, it seems like a much riskier proposition than an infertile person taking Clomid while being monitored by a doctor, especially since being monitored means the cycle could be called off if it looks like you're going to produce too many eggs.

I try to be in the "Do my best not to judge other people's reproductive choices" camp, but I worry that if people abuse Clomid, it will cause those of us who use Clomid for actual infertility to get judged more than we already do.  I suppose I would say that I wouldn't stop people from doing it, but I don't have to cheer them on to do something that seems medically risky.

Speaking of judgment, I'm a little confused why it was so crazy to decide that it was preferable to spend $25 for Clomid instead of spending thousands of dollars and possibly years of time filling out forms and being evaluated to adopt.  In the first scenario, I got a baby that is currently 3.  In the second, it's entirely possible I would just now be finally getting a baby.  Clearly I'm quite insane.

January 10, 2009 3:38 PM
 

Liz said:

one word: stupid.

January 11, 2009 12:42 AM
 

Jada said:

I agree with Toby to be honest. If someone has already been blessed with 4 children and hasn't had success conceiving and carrying a 5th why not focus on the children you do have. Because they are going through all of this with you.  And if you are so worried about taking a drug to conceive they why put you self through it? I apologize if this seems harsh.

January 11, 2009 4:04 AM
 

Toby said:

I didn't say anything about unreasonableness as to numbers. In both cases (your own and the one you are criticizing) taking Clomid is extreme and unnecessary - because Clomid assumes *infertility*. Having four children shows that you were obviously not infertile, it's just that your childbearing years are likely now behind you. Being able to have children (in the example you critique) also means taking Clomid is unnecessary in their case. This is just my opinion that you asked for at the end of your post, not expecting you to agree.

January 11, 2009 8:04 AM
 

kgranju said:

Hey, I don't mind the dissenting opinions to my decision. Obviously, I didn't have to tell anyone at all that I was taking the med. I could have kept it entirely private. I shared it on the ol' blog because I hoped it might be helpful to share my own experience with miscarriage and treatment with other couples going through the same thing. And in doing so, I knew that I would hear from people who think I am crazy for trying to have another baby at all, much less getting medical assistance to do so. So the criticism is okay. My cousin who is blogging (without using her real name) about her journey to have a semi-open domestic adooption also gets criticisms from people who think she should do it another way, or not do it at all. I think whenever you share something this personal, and potentially controversial, you are going to get a wide variety of opinions. And I don't feel defensive because - except for my worry at the mltiples risk - I am at peace with my decision. So when I respnd, I am just responding - not trying to sound defensive or "defending."

I always, always wanted a large family. And my husband, who is 29, would very much like another baby. I have a medical problem that makes it hard for me to carry a pregnancy past 12 weeks. We are accepting medical help in an attempt to correct this problem. To me, it's as simple as that.

But I think this is a fascinating discussion, and I am enjoying the feedback - all of it.

-Katie

January 11, 2009 8:56 AM
 

Jill said:

Hi Katie,

Thank you as always for sharing your story with us. I took Clomid with no other fertility work like IUI (just lots of good times with my husband!) and I now have a beautiful daughter. We will never know if it was because of the Clomid or just luck after a few years of trying. But how she came about in the first place is a footnote to the fact that she is HERE, running around and bringing us joy each day. Best of luck and enjoy. Hugs, Jill

January 11, 2009 9:00 PM
 

mchaos said:

I think it's a bit weird and probably dangerous to take Clomid without a doctor prescribing it.  Still, I tried to get pregnant for two years, and eventually ended up in an infertility program.  They gave me Clomid, which didn't work.  They gave me Menopur, which did and I am now pregnant with twins (no family history of twins).  I knew it was a risk, and I kinda wanted twins.  Why?  Because I always wanted more than one child because I value my own siblings so much and I wasn't sure I would be able to conceive again.  The plan was to adopt if the Fertility plan didn't work out.  Either way we would have a family together.

January 29, 2009 2:34 AM

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About the Blogger

Katie Allison Granju

A working mom embraces life with four busy kids and a continually buzzing Blackberry.

Katie Allison Granju lives in a 100-year-old house with her husband and her four children, who range in age from one to seventeen. She's a book author, a freelance writer and Director of Social Media at a public relations firm. She doesn't know how she does it either.

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