Home/Work

"Many experts," or two people who don't have a professional background in K-12 education and were dissatisfied with their children's level of homework?

"Very few adults...take more work home every night"--Ha!  That is hilarious.  You know who takes home a TON of work every night? Teachers. Not to mention many attorneys, business owners, community officials, police officers, ad execs, doctors, and professors.

AND...

"A well-designed schoolday should give kids everything they need academically in any 24 hour period"=Truer words never spoken.

I believe passionately that public education (not private, but I have no beef with private schools; it's just that they're not practical for 90% of Americans) has the potential to save our sinking/suffocating middle class and some of our most valued national traditions of hard work and of being a "self-made" people.  But it needs a lot of work, and it's going to take a lot of resources (financial resources and the more basic resources of community involvement and awareness) to get the work done.  

Conversations like this one about homework are actually a pretty good place to start.  If parents hate homework and don't see the benefits of it for their child, they have to speak up.  And they have to do so in a way that proves they are willing to work WITH the school, not against it (i.e. suing and protesting are not typically the best way to show this willingness).  

Is it our job as parents to complain about the injustices of the school system, or to support our kids by engaging in a dialogue with teachers and administrators about what our kids need from their school?

I bet it wouldn't be that hard to get a group of parents and teachers together and figure something out.  The trick is remembering that it's not about the adults' egos, it's about the kids' futures.  That key ingredient sometimes gets overlooked when parents and teachers have a difference of opinion, and it's hard. But I think it's do-able.

I read the letter you wrote about the sex education program at your daughter's school.  It was awesome.  Sounds like it's time for a homework letter to go in the hopper!!

Can you be more specific about the type of homework? Both my children had homework in elementary school but it was usually the work they had not finished during class time. I, too, despised spending my family time pushing homework.But you have spoken several times before about the amount of homework,and I just wondered "what" it is. Is it unfinished work, spelling/vocabulary etc, or additional practice?  I promise I am not being snarky, just curious.

I'm an elementary school teacher, and I agree that there is far too much homework assigned. Oftentimes homework is too difficult (especially for struggling students), or busy work (especially for advanced students), and almost always boring.  It is also true that if I don't send home homework every night, I hear about it from upset parents who seem to think I'm not doing my job if there is no homework.  I try to find a balance, but it's rough.

You are absolutely right that parents of young children has NO IDEA what is in store for them! Hours of homework in kindergarten? It's ridiculous. I encourage parents to look at research, their children's age and tolerance levels, and do what is best. Sometimes that means saying, "Go to bed!" and sometimes it means saying, "Okay! Finish your homework!" I also encourage parents to figure out their Homework Philosophy (what? you don't have one?) so that they are confident in the decisions they make for their family and children.

I am an adult that works all day and then has work that she has to take home.

I am a teacher.

I assign homework in order to assess what the kids can do on their own with the skills that I have modeled for them during the day and that we have practiced together. I rarely assign more than one workbook page or one small writing activity, and this is only after the majority of the class is showing comprehension as we work through skills together. The next day we come together and go over the homework. I take note of which child is having trouble with which skill and take that into consideration as I plan the type and timing of the assessments I will use during and at the end of a unit of instruction.

I no longer assign take home long term projects because I believe that the kind of independent planning and thinking that goes into something like that is beyond the scope of ability for anyone below the high school level.

I hear the horror tales about homework. Mine starts K next year. I am DREADING it!

I hear this a lot these days but honestly I'm confused...

I went to a highly demanding public school.  Considered one of the top in the country.  We always had homework to take home and lots of it.  But my parents never helped me with it.  I had a friend whose parents helped and I was shocked -- I felt it was like cheating and a secret I needed to keep.  

If the parents help, how does a teacher know what kids are understanding?

I also think I got in trouble a lot for not finishing my homework in 1st grade and 2nd grade, and that became so humiliating every day, I just started doing it.

I think I asked for help once and the experience was even more torture than doing it myself.

What if a parent just said no, do it yourself?  Is that not done these days?  My husband is British, I'm American, we both had no help from our parents on homework.

Seriously, I need help understanding this.

my 3rd grader has been so lucky-so far I should add-he has been lucky each year having teachers that give little to no homework unlike many of his friends and other school mates. I keep warning him it'll get worse or maybe we will keep getting lucky with the teachers.

It's certainly no fun, especially the projects for younger kids.  Good grief, a third grader is not going to get it together to make a poster with computer-printed out pictures or a robot out of recycled materials without a parent right there doing it with him.  

I'm grateful to have always been able to help, but that's a lot to ask of a lot of families, I think.  I hate it for the kids whose parents just can't deal with getting the materials and making projects with them, and the kids then turn in a posterboard with some scribbles on it.  (In a different vein, it annoys me when a little kid turns in a clearly Mom-did-the-whole-thing project, but that's another story.)

FWIW, the headmaster of my oldest son's super-cool and tiny private school was similarly anti-homework a few years ago.  His intent was for the kids to have more play and family time and time to learn about what interested them when he quit assigning homework.  He said, though, that what happened was that kids just watched a lot more TV, so he went back to homework.

Gosh, I better brace myself then... I hope the best job I've ever had (helping Grade 2 kids do their homework at a school in an underprivileged neighborhood while I was in Grad school) will help me out somehow...

Perhaps I'm naive, but what are the consequences at school if the child does not do homework?  My intention (and I know the road to hell is paved with good ones) is to provide a quiet, neat place to do homework, answer a few questions if necessary, and then let the consequences of doing/doing poorly/not doing at all fall onto my child's shoulders.  If necessary, priviledges will be withheld for willfull avoidance, but doing homework is a learning process in itself.  My parents also never did my homework for me, but I certainly had friends whose parents did.  

First thing, helping your child get through homework is not the same thing as doing that child's homework. And it's easy in the younger grades because children are eager please parents and/or teacher. Once the teanage years hit it becomes more troublesome. You can say that you will just let your child fail and that will teach them to do their homework. That is often not the case; they will continue to fail because it so difficult to internalize at that age that the failure to perform well in high school may limit their future endeavors. Also, much of the assigned homework is moronic: spelling words written three times in sentences M-Th, science notes rewritten every night, children in the advanced math course doing the homework assigned to the regular math class on top of their own, subject trivia sheets that did not pertain in any way to the subject being studied, cutting out current event articles and pasting them to paper and handing them in - no reading of the article required, just hand that paper in! I could go on and on. I've heard various reasons for the silly work- it's preparing them for high school / college, parents request it, etc. But it's ridiculous. And going to school is nothing like having a job, I have the option of working at any job open to me. Children are required by law to attend school. They may have a choice of schools, but many parts of this country only have one option for elementary, middle and high school.

This doesn't even get into after school activities. My kids attend school from 8-3, activities from either 6-9 or 3:30-6 add in the drive home, a shower and dinner and the evening only starts at nearly 8. Game nights are even worse. And extra curriculars aren't really "extra", how many college students do you know that did no activities in high school?

It was also difficult for me as a teen to internalize that not doing homework would affect my future, but it was easy to see that not doing it and getting into trouble at school would result in no TV and being grounded that weekend.  Homework is something that just needs to be done, without arguments, and if your teen isn't doing it are you still letting them play video games and/or take the car?  

I also hate, hate, hate homework.  My 3 kids range in age from high school to 3rd grade.  The consequences for not doing your homework at our former public school: no recess.  That's right.  That sure makes for a really well-behaved child the rest of the school day, I'll bet.  Let's take away the one time he can get some sunshine and fresh air!  brilliant. One drawback to our new school?  I have to check the homework.  So much for making your kids do it themselves and accept consequences.  And I have to sign it saying that I checked it an it's correct.  Thanks, teach.

I feel ya, for sure.  My 4th grader is not homework averse, but he was assigned to a teacher who gives a LOT of homework (other 4th graders at his school have very little, so it clearly varies by teacher).  My son is a rule follower, so he does it without complaint, but god forbid he has a lot on an afternoon when he plays on the chess team, or practices with the Science Olympiad team, or plays soccer.  Then homework stretches into the after dinner hour.  

As well, we are mired in a research project for his gifted class.  Until this year , the gifted program had been a very exciting, challenging, think-outside-the-box thing for him, but this year it seems to all be research, research, research.  For this project, he was allowed to pick his topic, but all the drudgery of the note-taking, bibliography, etcetera (not to mention generating the final product) seems to have taken the joy out of the topic for him.

I used to check his homework, but I quit doing that this year.  I let him take the consequences for sloppily done, incomplete homework.  At the same time, I find myself irritated that he was assigned it at all, because so much of it appears to be busywork.

I become more and more convinced that homeschooling is the way to go.  Many homeschooled kids are able to do their schoolwork during school hours and then have little or no "extra work" to do the rest of the day.  It may not work for everyone -- although I've heard stories of <a href="www.homeschooldiner.com/.../working_parents.html"><b>working parents able to homeschool</b></a> -- but it's certainly something to work toward.

Oops.  Link didn't work.  Here it is:

www.homeschooldiner.com/.../working_parents.html

I graduated from high school fairly recently - about five years ago. I cannot recall one instance in my childhood when my parents had to assist or cajole me to do homework. Children should be self-motivated to complete their homework. And it should be THEIR OWN work - not parent assisted work. I don't see how this isn't your problem because you've decided to take it on. You certainly don't have to help your kids do their own work.

H O M E W O R K  

S U C K S !

Leah,

Don't be so flippant.

You're lucky.

Children "should" be what they are! Many are NOT self motivated. Too many young children feel over worked by the time they get home from school. then have two - four more hours of school work!

You had schools that gave you a manageable amount of HW to do on your own.  Many children need cajoling and help.

I choose schools for my daughter that did not give the Sisyphean task of endless homework on a nightly basis.

My extremely bright 15-year-old would have straight A's if not for homework.  He has ADHD and cannot concentrate by the end of the school day.  If he takes medicine right after school to do his homework it suppresses his appetite so he can't eat.  He's a hungry, growing boy so he prefers to eat all afternoon, then take his medicine and start his homework around ten or eleven.  Then he's up half the night and he's tired.  And he's always behind on his assignments, although the situation has improved greatly over the years.  The struggles over homework when he was little were terrible, especially before he was diagnosed.

I'm homeschooling a second grader right not and have homeschooled other years with other kids, and the lack of homework is one of the many blessings!

Things are rarely black and white.  Right now my ten year old is screaming, crying etc... over her latest school project.  It is always a battle with her and I've tried all the techniques.  She has gotten zeros before, she's lost out on some cool things.  It is not about self motivation, she really wants good grades.  She just gets very easily overwhelmed and has trouble breaking things down.  I'm not sure if getting rid of homework is the solution though, I want her to learn certain skills like organizing her time etc... and homework can help with that.  I don't believe in large amounts every night that's for sure.

You are seriously hindering your children by taking on this responsibility. Will you follow them to college, badgering them about homework? Your JOB is to teach them to function on their own, not to teach them how to manipulate other people to do their work for them. (including cleaning chores)

Katie, aren't your children in private schools?

I came into parenting late and as a stepparent to a 9 y/o (now 10 y/o) boy. If he needs help, I help him with his homework but I don't do it for him. If he doesn't understand something after his teacher's instruction, I (or his father) work with him to help him understand the work he's doing. He needs help about half the time. In fact recently, after noticing his math grade slipping, we told him to bring his math work home every day whether he finished it at school or not, for proofing. What he had missed, we made him work out until he got it. The result was a huge improvement on his test scores. That is, imo, the value of homework, but I also think it's an important exercise in self-discipline and motivation (along the lines of the lesson, "Often in life you have to do crap you don't want to do, but you still have to do it well"; and an average of a half hour a day of homework really isn't that big of a deal.

I just want to say I feel your pain! I have a seven yr old first grader and she brought homework home the third day of kindergarten! She is very bright. She has a second grade reading level and a third grade math level, so not only do I get the HRK you were talking about; I also get the "Mom- that-is-boring-because-I-already-know-it" kid! So, yes I really do feel your pain!

I have been teaching for 11 years now, and am also a father of a 2-year-old.  I have seen the great benefits of homework when I taught Kindergarten.  I don't think my students would have learned to read and write without the practice.  English wasn't their first language, so they needed as much reinforcement as possible.  Their parents couldn't really help them with their homework, and that was okay.  I wanted them to do it independently.

I think kids pick up on things.  If we dread homework, that message becomes quite clear to them that it's something they rather not do, too.  Also, if we help them too much with their homework, they're going to expect that help.  I don't feel homework should be a team activity.  Yes, we make sure they have completed their HW in a decent manner, but it's their job to do it on their own.

But, when you look at actors, athletes, singers, and other professionals, isn't it all about practice?  I feel that's what homework is all about.  The more you practice, the better you get.  Sure, there are some who are more naturally talented and gifted and can get away with doing less.  But, I feel most require more.  I always reminded my students how far they got by doing their homework.  They saw how much better they got in their reading, writing, and math, etc. because of the practice.  Kids get it.  We just have to show them and remind them about why they're doing what they're doing.

Start them young.  Let them read.  Let them write.  Let them enjoy.

As I always told my students, "We work hard.  We play hard."

When we get older, we don't get to play if we don't do our work. ;)  That's how it works. :)