Warning: I'm about to gush. And it may will be sappy, so if that will bother you, turn away now.
No, really. It's going to be pretty extreme.
Okay...well...if you hang around for this, you can't say I didn't warn you.
So I'm married, since 2006 now. It was a whirlwind romance (that's the polite way to explain dating for a socially unaccaptable period of time before tying the knot.) He was barely divorced and significantly younger than I am. I was still reeling from the world's most painful and logistically difficult marital breakup a few years earlier, and I had three children. I wasn't looking to get married again, and he definitely wasn't. I had a history with more than a few -how to put this delicately? - dysfunctional relationships behind me, while he had dated or been married to his ex-wife (who left him less than two years after their wedding) for his entire adult life.
We were clearly a terrible match...except, we weren't.
I was worried that the people who love and know me best would think I was insane when I told them that Jon and I intended to get married only 9 months after we first met. But by that time, my family and friends had already fallen in love with him themselves, and they knew he was the best thing that had ever happened to me (my sister says she knew before I did). They all referred to him as "The Eagle Scout," not only because he actually IS an Eagle Scout, but because he's just that kind of dependable, upstanding, Good (with a capital G) guy.
Even though we only dated for a relatively brief period of time before we got engaged, I tried to break up with him at least once. I told my sister he was simply "too nice," and it had to be some kind of sick act. She informed me that if I broke up with this one, she would have to hire someone to break my knee caps. She also informed me that if I dumped Jon, she would make it her personal mission to find him a woman worthy of him, because he deserved to have someone who would appreciate what a rare catch he was.
And of course, as a single mama, seeing the effortless chemistry he had with the kids was pretty wonderful. He didn't - and still doesn't - ever try to parent them. He's carved out his own role, always 100% respectful of the fact that they already have a Dad.
So yep, we got married. And here it is, three years later, and we've added a baby to the mix, a baby he takes to work with him every day.I guess some people might say we are still in the honeymoon phase, but honestly we've been through a lot together in that time: death, miscarriage, job changes, financial challenges, parenting stuff, a giant house that needs huge amounts of work...And I'm here to tell ya that If there were some sort of ultimate marital designation - like the Eagle Scout of husbandry - Jon would own it.
I am not the easiest person to live with. I am messy at home and I work a lot. I leave food out after taking it out of the fridge or cabinet. I lose my keys and forget to pay household bills. I am hyper-involved with my large, eccentric family (love me, love my family). I blog and write essays about the people in my life. And I have a long history of relationships that..ummmm...haven't ended well. I can only conclude that being my boyfriend or husband isn't a lot of fun.
But remember that line in the first Bridget Jones movie, the one where Colin Firth tells her he loves her "just as she is?" I never really understood what that meant until Jon. He really does love me, even the stuff that probably irritated the heck out of other men. And being loved like that is a gift I am aware of and thankful for every day.
That is all.
See, I warned you. But aren't you just a little glad you stayed?
I know I'm glad I did.
Did you read my essay this week about how Jon and Kate Gosselin first real TV stars of the mommyblog era?
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