In the past few years, I've been thinking a lot about what factors matter in determining whether siblings are close, or not close. My sister and brother and I (as well as a couple of cousins who are pretty much like brothers to us) are all super close. That doesn't mean that we never fought while we were growing up - we certainly did (I am remembering one time when I literally tore a sweater off my sister's back while she was wearing it - at school!) - but we always had an underlying bond that was tangibly special. And today, we just like and enjoy each other. We're best friends. Sure, we bicker sometimes, but we have each others' backs, always. Nobody messes with one of us without the others stepping up. We're a team. A clan.
How did that happen? After all, I have many adult friends who barely tolerate their siblings, much less actually like them. Well, just as with much of the rest of how children turn out as adults, there are certainly mysterious and inexplicable factors at play in how sibling relationships eventually shape up. However, I've observed some general trends among the families I see where the kids seem to have a close bond, even when they are arguing or fighting with each other, and in which the siblings grow up to have close relationships.
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