Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Shell — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 02:15:58 GMT

Hi, Katie.

My sister-in-law has a 31 month-old daughter who they still give bottled milk before bed and whenever. Not to mention a pacifier. She looks very short and small for her age..and I can barely undertstand her.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Miriam — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:26:51 GMT

Seems like with everything starting from teething to walking to eating, to potty training, to talking, to weaning bottles, etc....has always been a competition to a lot parents. Just enjoy these wonder years from 1-5 with your kids and don't hurrty them up to do things just because so & so or they're supposed to be so & so at this time,,,it's okay if they haven't done what you expect, if they're ready, they' re ready, don't force them, don't get stressed out , eventually they'll do it. My experience-potty training, i was trying so hard to potty train my kid at 21/2, it took me weeks/months, until I rested it for a while. When she was 3 1/2, I started it on a Monday, next day-Tuesday ..she was ready, she was doing potty all by herself without me telling her/training her at all. If they're ready, they're ready. And just a joke if people give u hard time on potty training on ur kid and they don't do it yet, tell them, well, my mom/dad or grandma actually is still using pampers too. Oh well, dn't worry about things too much, enjoy parenthood and don't expect too much from your kids.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Miriam — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:26:49 GMT

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Miriam — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:26:43 GMT

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Clisby — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:12:28 GMT

Or, as someone suggested, start diluting the nighttime bottles with water, and eventually wind up with just water.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Dewi — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:35:26 GMT

How about offering water in the bottle instead of going to complete elimination of night time bottles.

C can have a choice, water or no bottle, I bet she chooses water, over no bottle.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

kgranju — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:23:22 GMT

I agree that she probably drinks too much milk in general. But that isn't why she's a big kid. She was already a big kid when she was breastfed for the first 13 months.

Yeah, we gotta get rid of the overnight milk bottles. We do. Sigh.

-Katie

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Amanda — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:49:11 GMT

Being in the Health Care field, I can tell you that research has proven that bottles of milk over-night = tooth decay. That is if you believe in the research (valid study, ample subjects, etc). What I don't understand is why other mothers would say, "my child had a bottle of milk at

night and never developed tooth decay". That is like saying

"my grandmother smoked 2 packs of Winston's a day and never

got lung cancer". (which is the truth by the way). But the

heart of the matter is that I would never encourage anyone to smoke, because I know that even though I don't have personal experience with the consequences of smoking, I still acknowledge that the research has proven that smoking is detrimental to your health. Milk in the bottle at night has the high propensity to cause severe tooth decay, and much pain, agony, and expense in the long run. I think its all about knowing your risks, and being okay with playing the odds (with your child's health). I think it is also interesting that you constantly reference C's "big boned" body, yet do not draw a possible correlation to excessive caloric supplementation from milk (it sounds like she has at least 4-6 bottles per day, in addition to her meals. I think it would be an interesting experiment to start with the data: calculate caloric consumption with milk supplementation and meals and compare to recommended daily values for a toddler her age. I am not against bottles, and think children will wean when they are ready be it at 1 year or 5 years. However, I do take issue with excessive supplementation, because often times when a child thinks they are hungry (for a bottle), they are actually thirsty and dehydrated.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Dewi — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:12:29 GMT

Hey Kate,

A consequence of your entry about bottles is that a Babble advertisement for similac formula is now on your blog page.

It's one thing to need to feed the stuff to your kid, but to have it advertised next your entry on the blog seems wrong to do to you!

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

muffy — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:57:29 GMT

i went through much the same thing with my three children, miss katie -- i breastfed all three of them until the mid-toddler years, when they took to a baba with milkie. oh, the disdainful looks as their toddler selves enjoyed a bottle in public! finally, fed up and seeking a second opinion, i asked their pediatrician about it. this man has been in practice forever, and to this day, remains one of the kindest, gentlest, wisest persons i have ever known. i asked him what he thought and he told me in his patient, affectionate european accent:

"let me tell you somezing, muffy. vhen it comes to zuh bottle or zuh pacifier, zis is vhat i tell all my mamas -- let him keep it. let him enjoy it...and let him do it for as long as he feels comfortable and comforted by it. he vill know vhen he is done. in zuh meantime, just make sure you brush his teeth very regularly and know in your heart zhat he is happy und secure. zere are ZO FEW pleasures in life, my dear; let him enjoy zis one vhile he can."

and i did -- and all three of my babies are happy, healthy, intelligent, gorgeous, and secure...even though they are all grown-up babies who are now 15, 18, and 22. i say you let her keep enjoying it...and all the disapproving people can go fuck themselves.

=:o]

xoxo

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Emma — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 08:56:41 GMT

With my first, I was determined to get him off the bottle and onto a sippy cup ASAP because that's what all my (Australian) books said to do. At his creche they give bottles to the toddlers for all liquids up until the age of 2.5 (we live in Switzerland) so I determinedly brought a sippy cut for him to use instead... and they laughed at me (good-humouredly) and said "that's what all the English mothers do". My nieces and nephews here still have a bottle for their evening milk, and they are 4 and 6. So I think a lot of this bottle vs sippy cup thing is cultural.

With my second, I'm way more relaxed... he drinks water from a sippy up, but still has his milk in a bottle (he's nearly 2). I figure if it gives him some comfort, what's the problem? I can't believe that this one little thing is really going to define his life. (And now if his 4.5 year old brother wants his milk in a bottle too, I give it to him - again, it's no big deal, and I think more of a big deal if I deny this).

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

LouAnn — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 12:31:23 GMT

I don't think the attachment to the bottle will be a problem. What seems to be more of a problem is your references to your daughter's body type. You've made a joke about giving her hydroxycut and referred to her "Nordic" size and how she looks different from your other kids. You've stated before you have body image issues of your own and still have trouble eating in front of your mother. I'd cut out any and all comments in print or in front of C or anyone else on how she looks 'different' or you could be setting her up for body image issues/eating disorders.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Miriam — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 03:19:57 GMT

As Clisby said above, it's always something! You will be judged for every.single.decision. you make as a parent; YOU know this. Other than the nightly bottles causing teeth problems, I would really not care what anyone else thinks. If it gives her comfort, and you and Jon are happy with the situation it's not anyone else's business.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Clisby — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:30:53 GMT

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about anything except the nighttime bottles of milk - just because it can be so bad for the teeth. Who cares if a child drinks milk out of a bottle in the daytime?

But attachments are tremendously hard to break. My first child, like yours, was almost entirely bottlefed, although I pumped milk for her for 2.5 months. She had no attachment to the bottle - I easily weaned her from that by 15 months. She was 4 when she finally gave up her pacifier - because we took it away.

I breastfed my son, now 7, for 2.5 years. His attachment was and is to his thumb. Once he discovered that thumb, at about 6 months - that was it. He would try to nurse and suck his thumb at the same time. He voluntarily quit breastfeeding at 2.5 - at age 7, he still sucks his thumb. I now realize how crazy it is to be down on pacifiers. You can take away a pacifier - I can't cut off his thumb.

It's always something.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Dewi — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:26:49 GMT

Continue your approach from an attachment parenting perspective. A lot of children love their bottles for a long time. I'm thinking it feels good on her teething gums, and comforting to drink from the bottle.

If it bothers you enough look into the MagMag sippy cup for public outings and her bottle for naps and night time.

www.pigeonbaby.info/product.php

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Andrea — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:55:26 GMT

I guess a lot of people feel as though when a 'child' can 'ask' for stuff like a 'boppy' or hold their nose and say 'shew' when needing to be changed, then they are ready to be off the bottle and diaper. To me, it makes sense. Diapers and bottles are associated with 'babies.' When that 'baby' can ask for a specific colored bottle or ask to be changed, times up!

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Lisa — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:35:25 GMT

They are little for a short time. They give these things up when they are ready. I guarantee she will not go off to college still drinking milk from a bottle. It is obviously comforting to her right now. Honestly, I don't know why people get so worked up about these things!

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

marta rose — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:36:03 GMT

our daughter took a bottle until she weaned at 3yo, and we thought of it much as we would later think of our son, who breastfed until 3.5yo -- she had nursing needs, the bottle met them. end of story. i know what you mean about the looks, though -- i think we got more grief for the 3yo with a bottle than the 3.5 yo who still nursed. we mostly limited the bottle to in-lap nursing, just as a child would have to be in-lap to be breastfed (though we were flexible about this), and by about 1.5 to 2yo, we switched to water at night. other than that it was a mostly child-led weaning for both kids.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Kate — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 01:31:20 GMT

My 26 month old loves, loves, loves her "baba". She had a pacifier when she was little but gave it up abruptly at about 15 months, which, looking back, is probably when the bottle obsession really took hold. About six months ago we made the transition to water only at night (I was concerned about her teeth) and shortly after that, got rid of the middle of the night one, after which everyone slept much, much better. She's basically down to two bottles of milk during the day, one in the morning and one in the evening (and a really, really watered down bottle with just a tiny bit of milk when she naps at home -- for some reason, she doesn't need it to fall asleep at daycare). Recently, we've had to limit the amount of milk she gets in the morning and the evening (5oz now down from 8oz) since she seemed to be losing her appetite for solid food and would often ask for more milk. This seems to work reasonably well for everyone, though when my husband is home alone with her, I know he sometimes lets her have additional bottles when she asks.

My worry (planted in my head by our pediatrician -- it hadn't really occurred to me previously) is that we are expecting our second child next month and while my daughter is down to what feels to us like a manageable level with the bottle, she may start to demand it more or be more difficult to wean after the new baby arrives. I plan to primarily breastfeed, but will also pump and when I return to work will supplement with a bottle, which is what I did with my daughter. So when she sees the new baby having a bottle, will she want one more?

At her two-year check-up, the pediatrician recommended that we just go cold-turkey with plenty of time to spare before the new baby is born, but we've been stalling on that and essentially taking the path of least resistance and running out of time (my husband has significantly less resolve than I do about doing something about this, and I'm ambivalent to say the least). I guess all of this is a very long-winded way of saying that I appreciated reading about C and her boppy because it's reassuring to hear from someone with much more parenting experience that it works itself out in the end (something I know in my head, but often have trouble worrying about anyway). Best wishes with C no matter what you decide to do about the boppy! She is adorable!

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Catherine C. — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:41:20 GMT

My daughter is 2 1/2 and still has a bottle in the wee morning hours (5 or 6) when she wakes up and comes into bed w/ us (she has always been an early riser). I did eliminate the nighttime bottle when she turned 2 b/c I was concerned about her teeth. I was anxious about how saying goodbye to the nighttime bottle would go, as it was very much a part of our nighttime routine. But it was no big deal at all. I got her a fancy new "big girl" battery-powered toothbrush and explained that she couldn't have milk anymore before bedtime b/c it was not good for her teeth. She was absolutely fine with it and went to sleep no problem.

I have tried several times to eliminate the morning bottle b/c I'm just tired of washing it and hearing the chorus of "you're supposed to stop bottle feeding now" in my head. But she will not drink milk from a cup. So, whatever. We just use the bottle -- aside from milk in her cereal, the morning bottle is the only milk she gets all day. And really, it shouldn't matter what the delivery system is -- she is getting the milk which matters most.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

mama — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:06:46 GMT

And, I'm convinced that I bit my nails and later smoked because I was weaned from my bottles too early. At least it makes a good story.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

mama — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:05:41 GMT

I went through that with your brother. Your dad cut the ends off of the nipples, so our neighbor - Toni - kept babas for him at her house. I had to sneak him down there for a baba. I wanted to let him wean himself, but your dad thought it was horrible that an almost-two-year-old still whined for his baba. He loved babas.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

Kim — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:20:52 GMT

My opinion: C will be just fine. She should have her boppy until she doesn't want it anymore. She should have her milk during the night , every night , until she doesn't want it anymore. My son was the same way and never had cavities or any other problems because of it. And please don't even think about what other people say or think (hard , I know)...C is your baby and she matters, and noone else really does, as far as this boppy is concerned. She will be fine.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

sarah — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 23:11:37 GMT

I don't think you should dismiss the risks of the night time bottle filled with milk. I would at least get her checked out by a dentist. You might have to pick a long weekend sometime and get her weaned to water or no bottle at all as painful as that might be.

I wouldn't worry about the rest. Honestly, I don't know why people care so much that a two year old still has a bottle. It is not like she'll have it at sixteen.

re: Now I know how Katie Holmes must feel

mldubose — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 21:25:42 GMT

I think my youngest was 2.5 YEARS old when she stopped wanting her bottle. She was potty-trained 3 months later. So once you decide to wait until they're older, they do everything quickly and almost all at once. And the child has teeth that are as tough as rocks. Never had a cavity, and she's almost 11.

By the time I had three children, I had heard so much sh*t from people that they learned not to say anything else to me for fear that I would take their heads off.