Boob Fiend
I used to think I had a pretty good understanding of my body, including my chest. I know my way around a Victoria’s Secret catalogue; I’ve got a drawer full of bras of various colors, fabrics, and functions, from a pair of useless stick-on bra cups for strapless, backless tops to industrial bounce-proof running bras. Breastfeeding has shown me that I understood my boobs about as well as I understand the functioning of my spleen – not at all. Breastfeeding is natural, and so we assume it should come to us naturally. Natural should not be understood as a synonym for easy or painless or fast. Hangnails are natural. So are wicked flu viruses and zitty adolescent angst. After Axel was born, the two of us didn’t immediately snap in to a perfect, symbiotic breastfeeding relationship – it’s been a struggle.
Apparently, I have flat nipples. I’d never given them much thought prior to trying to breastfeed so, when the nurse first told me this, I wasn’t surprised, exactly, but I didn’t know how to react. Was that a good thing? A bad thing? A freakishly rare thing that could land me in the Guinness Book of World Records? In my case, combined with Axel’s overall wee-ness, it’s a challenging thing that meant we’ve been using plastic doo hickies called nipple shields to help him latch on. I’ve now had three visits with lactation consultants, and I am getting very comfortable having strange women grab my breasts and squeeze them into an aereola sandwich. Modesty ceased to be a concern when all that water was gushing out of me in the delivery room.
My baby seeks out something to latch his mouth on to like a mad zombie (only without the foaming and blood at the mouth), wildly wagging his head with a gaping mouth. Anything close to his mouth will do – his hands or sleeve, my husband’s non-functioning nipples, my cheek or shoulder. What he wants, of course, is my breast (preferably with the shield, not without), and he often goes from placildly sleeping and letting out adorable squeeks and moans to sudden, ravenous hunger. Hungry babies must have been the source of inspiration for a whole cast of zombie-playing actors.
Between pumping to bank away some milk and Axel’s recent frequency feedings, during which he’ll eat and then, 30 minutes after finishing, want to eat again, clustering three feedings into four hours, chaining me to the nursing chair and Boppy, I feel like a soul-less buffet. Maybe I’m delicious, and have an array of fantastic delicacies to offer babies, but I’m exhausted. Sure, there are moments while breastfeeding that I caress his fuzzy head and smother him with kisses, feeling that all is right with the world, even if there is a piece of plastic between my breast and my baby’s mouth. But there are other moments where my neck aches and it’s three a.m. and I’m overcome with unbearable thirst, and I just want him to hurry up already and finish eating. Unfortunately, babies are not reasonable. Axel doesn’t understand when I explain to him that he just ate, and that I want to eat, or sleep, or shower, and couldn’t he please wait just an hour or so to eat again? Of course, I give in to him. He’s the baby. He’s much cuter than me, and he cries a lot louder. He’s clearly in charge.
While nannying for a three and a six year old during graduate school, I took the kids on a trip to a working farm, where we watched a cow, moaning because of its bloated udders, get hooked up to a milking machine. The cow rolled her eyes back in her head, and her groans changed to sound relieved. I feel like that cow and I could really bond with one another, if she ever gains the ability to speak.
As soon as Axel’s tiny belly is full (temporarily), he lapses in to a luxurious food coma, slowly stretching his arms and wiggling his fingers, a secret sleepy grin crawling across his face. “You’ll never guess what I just had,” he seems to be thinking, “And it’s all mine. All mine!”
Sometimes he’s then awakened by what seems to be gas pains worse than anything the world has ever seen, judging by his writhing and squawks of protest. I don’t eat any cow’s milk products (another reason the cow above would like me), and I haven’t been going on broccoli binges, so I’m not quite sure what’s at the root of his pain. I’m considering tracking everything I eat, which will make me feel even more like nothing but a milk factory, but it might help get to the cause of his violent burps. As soon as the burps explode out of him, he lapses back into his full-bellied sleep, only to awaken 30 minutes or three and a half hours later, zombie mouth ready again to eat. We’re getting the hang of this breastfeeding thing, slowly, unnaturally working at it.
My son had those gas-pain shrieks, too. Eventually, we learned we could avoid most of them by sticking to this rule, without fail: Always Get the Burp. Even if he falls asleep nursing, even if it takes 5 minutes of patting and rubbing the back, Always Get the Burp before you lay him down. Nice good post-nursing burp meant no shrieking. Skip the burping just this one time because he’s sooo sleepy, and you hate to bother him? Shrieking. YMMV, but that seemed to be key for our little guy.
And yeah, you never see a cow (or any nursing animal, for that matter) the same way again!
This is an extremely realistic picture of what nursing is really all about. You sound like a great mom–committed and persevering through small setbacks, but not like you hear angels singing every time he latches on. All I can say is Go Oz! It gets easier…
And he continues to be unbelievably cute.
My son nursed every hour on the hour for six weeks. It was an exhausting time in which I felt like either he or I was broken. Why would one little guy eat so much!? My son was the same birth weight as Axel and I think he just had some catching up to do. His pediatrician and no less than 3 lactation consultants (why listen to one medical professional when you can obsessively seek out the opinion of 4) confirmed that some babies just eat that frequently. It was difficult but I’m so glad I weathered that time period. I look at my chubby little 14 pounder (who now only eats every 2.5 to 3 hours) and think to myself that I did all that. As my sister-in-law said: “Breastfeeding and pumping gives you a whole new respect for cows.” Just know that it gets easier and eventually his little tummy can hold enough for him to last longer between feedings.
You’ve really brought it all back! I had similar issues – my nipples were flat and initially I used a nipple shield. The nipple shield annoyed me, though, so I stopped using it and just dealt with the pain (which cleared up by about 6 weeks). My nipples eventually popped out properly and are totally normal now.
Axel’s digestive system is probably just working on maturing (you should be seeing less diaper blow outs soon). If he doesn’t seem to bothered by the gas, then you shouldn’t worry about it. Since you are nursing and pumping, you may want to keep an eye out for oversupply if the gassiness gets worse or continues, and especially if you see green poop. Here is some good information from La Leche League on it:
http://www.llli.org//FAQ/oversupply.html
I just wanted to say good luck! I firmly believe that you will look back on this phase in just a couple months and be so glad that you hung in there. It gets so much easier!
I agree, always get the burp. Placing the baby on yoru shoulder after eating helps avoid ear infections too. Found that out the hard way. Stupdi lactaction consultant told me to nurse lying down and my 4 week old got an ear infection! I wanted to rip out her heart. And always drink water or a beverage while breastfeeding. It makes you super thirsty. I kept a jug of gatorade in a cooler in the bathroom by my daughters room all the time. The mroe you drink the more milk you make too. Try not to worry about the cluster feeding. He will soon get on a 3-4 hour regular schedule in a couple of weeks. My kid was sleeping 5 ours straight ( Bliss!) by week 6. I did 3 hour feeds and a couple of hour cluster feeds just before bedtime.
I can only add: hang on, it will get better. Or at least more bearable. My first child was a terrible feeder… he took 1.5 hours each time, and I had to feed him every 3 hours as the doctors thought he wasn’t gaining enough weight. So that basically meant he was attached to me half the time – which HURT, and made me feel like I was stuck in Groundhog Day, only with my life repeating every 3 hours instead of every day. It’s much better with the second (now 12 weeks), but even so the first few weeks were tough.
I know it’s almost heretical to say this, but if you’ve really had enough, the occasional bottle is unlikely to do any harm… and if it gives you a break, it may be a huge booster for you. I resisted this with my first (even though I was pressured to supplement because of his non-chart-perfect weight gain), but the second gets a bottle about twice a week after extended bouts of feeding every hour which just leave me feeling empty and SORE. I absolutely believe breast is best, but am a lot more pragmatic the second time around. Anyway, good luck!
I had a similar problem – only I had one flat and one inverted nipple! Nobody bothered to point this out to me until days after we returned home from the hospital and I’d had to pump on doctor’s orders (or give formula) because my son had lost too much weight. Luckily my MIL knew a lactation specialist who came by my house for free. Instead of a nipple shield, the lactation specialist said just keep using the pump. I’d pump for a few minutes before feeding him and that would pop my nipples out. It did take about 6 weeks to get into the swing of things. Good luck to you!
Yes! It will definitely get easier. I had similar issues, and used nipple shields at first, too, but eventually the babies got the hang of the real thing. It just takes patience and perservearance. Right around the 6 or 7 week mark, I found that nursing got much easier.
As for the frequency, we were lucky (in a way) because our babies were born a few weeks early and were very small and sleepy, we actually had to wake them up much of the time to make sure they were eating every 3 hours, and I think that helped get them on a good 3 hour(-ish) schedule. And of course, with twins, feeding on demand is a much trickier proposition, so roughly scheduled feedings were a sanity saver for us.
Hang in there — you’re doing great!
Yup – sounds like normal nursing to me. I think it’s somewhat of a struggle for almost everyone in the beginning. For me it was a good few months before it felt at all natural. But I am so glad I stuck it out because once it clicks, it’s really wonderful.
New babies have gas. I’ve read that their digestive tracks aren’t always fully developed yet … In another month, it’ll probably be a distant memory. And getting your water broken is gross, right? i had no idea that the fluid just keeps leaking out like that. Ugh.
the nursing will definitely get easier. i didn’t have the flat nipple situation, but there was a time when i experienced a bit of [*ahem*] nipple “crackage” and nipple “splitage”! haha… i laugh now, but boy, it was not so funny then! there’s only one great cure for that that i know of: medela purelan 100 cream. i stockpiled this stuff!
of course your baby is too young now, but i gave my son gripe water to settle his gassy tummy as he got a little older. it’s 100% natural!
Hang in there sweeetie (big hug). I have a flat and invert too. One reason Axel has so much gas can be the sheild. It is almost like a bottle nipple nad can have air bubbles in it. It also doesn’t allow the baby to get as good a seal. have you tried the “breast sandwhich” or icing your nipple for a few seconds before nursing and pushing your areola towards your chest wall?
Also, if he falls alseep without finishing both breasts wake him up with a diaper change so that he can finish the feed and allow you to get a longer break. And as everyone else said, it does get better.
Oh yes, I gave my baby a bottle every night of formula after the first few days. She never preferred it over the boob but took it anyway. I think it helped her sleep better and longer. It also gave my poor body a bit of rest. My boobs and my baby never knew the difference. Sinc eyou baby is so small he may eat a lot more often trying to catch up. Take lots of naps.
you are a stronger woman than I, i gave up after a few weeks of nonstop feeding… one thing that did help though was a camelbak pack (one of those water bladders) it meant i always had water near the feeding chair and i could drink without needing to use my hands…it seriously was the best gift anyone could have given me (even if it was my brother’s used army issue and i had to give it back when he redeployed!)
keep up the great mommying!
“wildly wagging his head with a gaping mouth. Anything close to his mouth will do – his hands or sleeve, my husband’s non-functioning nipples, my cheek or shoulder. What he wants, of course, is my breast (preferably with the shield, not without), and he often goes from placildly sleeping and letting out adorable squeeks and moans to sudden, ravenous hunger. Hungry babies must have been the source of inspiration for a whole cast of zombie-playing actors.”
great description! funny post.
hang in there. eventually they stop feeding so much. i’m holding my breath and trying to survive until that time comes myself.
Ah memories. I felt exactly the same way those first few weeks. It definitely gets easier. I supplemented with formula when I was overwhelmed. And my son also had a lot of those cranky gassy moments. That, too, goes away eventually, to be replaced with other trying, lovable habits.
Yep it gets easier. Babes are just normally gassy – (adding formula to the mix might make this worse). A sling will get you off the couch. It takes a couple minutes to get baby in and latched on, but once you’ve gotten that far you’ll have a whole arm free! And then when he’s done and falls asleep – two whole arms free! And they tend to stay asleep longer when they’re snuggled up against you.
I’ve had similar problems with my little one, now 9 weeks. While she got the hang of breastfeeding pretty quickly, she would often feed for up to two hours (!) at a time and make me crazy. All I wanted to do was get away to take a quick shower and she would constantly be hungry. But around six weeks, the feeds began getting much quicker and I became less sore. She is also very gassy in the mornings. I think this is a normal developmental phase, as it seems independent of what I eat. Have you tried Infant Mylicon? I tried the European version (Infacol) and it works pretty well.
Oh lord, I feel you! We’ve been through it too!! My little bean is now 8 months and eating only every 4 hours or so, I’m living proof that it does get better… it just takes a while. Get comfy, grab a big glass of water and the remote control, and keep on keepin’ on. <3
Well first off congrats on breastfeeding! That’s awesome that your willing to put in the time and effort and stay committed. I was also told in the hospital that I had flat nipples. Instead of using a nipple sheild, I would pinch my nipple and insert it into my daughter’s mouth and hold it there while she was breastfeeding. I had to do this for several months until my nipples were drawn out and I could finally breastfeed hands free. Gas was also a problem with my daughter. A good thing to do is stop breastfeeding about 15-20 minutes into it, put the baby on your shoulder, pat his back for a while. Even if he does actually burp this should help. Then go back to breastfeeding. If gas pains still seem to be a problem, try putting a hot pad on his belly when he sleeps. You can make one at home, take a sock, fill it with rice and tie it at the end. Put it in the microwave for like a minute and it will stay warm for a long time. This helps relieve the gas pain. Eventually he will get used to it though and it won’t be a problem. Keep up the good work. I promise it gets easier with time. After 4 months breastfeeding actually starts to get easy. Oh another suggestion, buy a good baby carrier (like the beco or a moby wrap) that you can breastfeed in. That way when he falls sleep, instead of trying to move him, you can just get up and eat or do stuff around the house. You can even take a shower with one on (personally I have not tried this, but other moms say it works) and it’s also great for breastfeeding in public.
I had trouble for the first 10 weeks, but then I figured out what was wrong (Raynauds) and things went like clockwork. Just hang in there. Breastfeeding can be harder in the beginning, but it is much easier in the long run (still going at 14 months).
Stop pumping until things calm down. Try to make it a few weeks (6 is ideal, but whatever you can) without any bottles, then take a bottle break if you need it. I gave one bottle of formula (or pumped milk) every day between 6 weeks and 10 weeks to either give myself a break or pump. It got me through.
Breastfeeding is so much easier once you pass the 3 month mark. It is great for on-the-go whether he is fussy at the grocery store or you are hiking up a mountain in the desert in Egypt.
Just keep going and get help frequently. Don’t be embarrassed to keep going back to the LC or calling.
A few tips:
- it gets easier
- use the nipple shields as long as you need to! It’s ok and eventually you will know when you can stop
- try a Brest Friend pillow instead of a boppy. Much much more supportive.
- Give yourself a break with pumping. Just focus on you and the baby and worry about pumping a few weeks
Oh GOD, I dread the cluster feeeding this time. Dread. It. I remember the feeling of being pinned to the couch and just wanting to cry. Make sure you get the prime seat by the TV. He’s right on schedule for it, though, and soon will be able to go longer, and soon even longer than that. Three hours between feeds is the BEST after the cluster feeding phase.
If he’s gassy, Mylicon is lifesaver–we would give her Mylicon and then bicycle her legs. The other thing that worked was putting her over my bent knees so her tummy was right on the hard bony part and rubbing circles on her back. Getting Gas Out of The Baby was a big part of my first six months of parenthood–not so much a problem now, let us say.
And you are right in the worst part. IT gets easier after six weeks and SO MUCH easier after three months, and is totally fun by six months.
Thanks to all for your comments! We’ve picked up some mylicon & gripe water, both on the recommendation of our pediatrician and you guys, and I’m not eating dairy and trying to limit the caffeine. And we’ve become baby burping machines, devoted to getting out the burp, as some of you suggested. It seems to be working!