Knocked Up

It's very hard at first.  To this day I've never sent all my shower thank you notes out, a task I thought I'd have plenty of time to finish during my maternity leave.  

Michael is almost a year old and I have just started feeling closer to my pre-baby self.  Last week was literally the first week I've worn my hair in something other than a ponytail.  There are toys and baby paraphenelia all over all the time.  There are always dishes in the sink, even, it seems, after I've just washed them.  (I hand wash all this bottles, cups and plates just in case the scare about plastic in the dishwasher leaking poisons into my child are true.)  There are always clothes to be washed, even when I've just folded the last load!

I think maybe after you've finished nursing, your load will get somewhat lighter.  That requires a lot of time and energy and it's impossible to do much of anything while you're nursing or pumping.  

Just get used to the disorder for awhile.  As for me, I see a little light on the horizon 4 years from now, perhaps after Michael's 5th birthday.

It's simple (and not so simple at the same time!): Help from others as often as possible! Husbands, grandparents, neighbors, etc.

And when there isn't any one around, being creative is the key. Like taking showers/getting ready, it's easier at his age now when he isn't mobile, try a bouncy seat on the bath room floor.  

A schedule helps, both babies and mommas thrive off them! I still have trouble trying to get housework and laundry done, and honestly? I don't think it's a huge priority in the grand scheme of life.  Sure, the laundry needs to be done so you have clean clothes, dishes are important and keeping stuff of the carpet is a good thing. But, don't stress about it if it doesn't get done today. I have one laundry day a week, and do dishes as needed, and we do a good cleaning whenever it needs it on a weekend.  Time with family and the all important relaxing after a long day is more important, in my opinion. Don't let it stress you.

I know it's rough to leave your little one at first, but it actually can be a wonderful thing to get a "baby break" and be back into the adult world for just a little while. And when you get back home, you appreciate your baby even more, spit up, poop and all. It can be a great feeling. Good luck :-)

Yes, what the other ladies said. It's not easy at first. It took me a few weeks to get in the schedule - basically, it's a mad dash in the morning, and a mad dash in the evenings, preparing for the next day. Try to let some stuff go - like chores - until the weekend, get as much sleep as you can (which I know isn't much) and make sure you take the time to just enjoy your baby when you are with him, and not stress about all of the little things that have to be done (easier said than done, but very much worth it).

Good luck!

it is ROUGH! i just went back (three days a week)and the babe is jsut about 8 months old.

It took us a long time to get a workable schedule for everything (i'm still doing classes for my masters, plus work plus work from home) it helps to have the hubs helping out (though sometimes he is more of a hinderance)

basically i try to pick up the floor where the babe plays, and the living room area before we go to bed each night- a quick vacum and tossing all the toys into one corner is really all we need most nights. The dishes go directly into the washer after meals and gets run before bed when full and laundry gets done on the weekend. Bottles get made and tossed into the fridge again before bed, and the diaper bag gets packed (and the diapers get stuffed) while watching tv. All of this takes about half an hour- the hubs plays with the babe while i do it, or the babe crawls around avoiding the vacum (a pack and play would help but oh well)

something that helped was to keep a small dustbuster in a corner of each room that gets used most (our dog generates a lot of hair) so when i see the gross i can just suck it up; and not worrying if the house isnt spotless. I have come to terms with being covered in baby drool,and discovered that offwhite shirts will cover a multitude of spitups! a nice headband/hairclips also make the unwashed hair more presentable, and never underestimate the power of the babywipe/fabreze shower!

it has taken me 8 months to get a reasonable system into place and feel like i am getting everything i need to do done, its hard but it will eventually get done.

Help, help, help is the only way to get it done.  Help from a supportive and awesome husband (yea!  It sound slike you have one too).  We divided up chores so we each know what to do to keep the house running.  And we've outsourced cleaning.  Yeah, sometimes it doesn't measure up to my standards, but it's awesom ewhen I walk into the house on Wed. and EVERYTHING is clean.  Then we just have to pick up until it is actually cleaned again.  And I've really lowered my standards.  I don't remember the house being that messy when I was a kid, but I remember all the cool things I did with my parents.  So in the long run, I figure, it's best to spend my time with the family and not th ecleaning supplies.  Plus, we do the meal assembly and freezing thing.  Much less time spent thinking about what to make for dinner, shopping, preparing, etc.  It's hard at first but eventually you will find your groove.

You will prioritize and find that house-cleaning will be low on the list once you're back to work. I would like to say that it rose back up as my children grew, but it didn't, lol. Now I'm not rocking and nursing, but I am helping with homework and going to basketball practice, etc. I do a load of laundry and minimum maintenance every day, but most of my cleaning on Saturday morning. I shop and do errands on my lunch hour or on the way home. That way, when I am home, I get to maximize the time with my kids. I'm sure you'll do the same. When you are at work, try to connect with other moms there, it helps so much. Good luck, I know you can do it.

Let's see...I have a nice all-purpose hair clip.  Don't need to do anything with hair as long as you can clip it back and out of the way.  I also have a nice, low-maintenance haircut (shoulder length with layers) that works with my slightly wavy hair.  I've gotten my shower down to 7-10 minutes every other day.  I gave up shaving when I was pregnant and haven't looked back.

The only cleaning I am committed to is washing my pump parts every night.  But you could get several sets of shields and bottles so that you only have to wash every other night.  I do the dishes after my son goes to bed.

If you can afford it, get someone to come clean your place once or twice a month.

Between working and then catching up with the baby when I get home from work, I just don't have a lot of time to worry about cleaning.  I do the BARE MINIMUM and then it's always a bit of a scramble if we are going to have company.

The first year was pretty bad for me. I think I really only did shower about three days a week. I was constantly wearing pajamas, forget about actually getting dressed and greeting the world.It took a lot of letting go on my part, realizing that other people were capable of taking care of my child so I could take a ten minute shower every day. I learned to accept help from everyone that was willing, which was a hard task for me! And hiring a cleaning lady to come in and deep clean twice a month has saved my sanity. It's an extra 100 bucks a month, but well worth it!  

1. Get a hat to cover ALL of your greasy hair.

2. Lower your standards on cleaning. Way low.

3. Pump and let your husband take some night feedings.

4. Train Axel to sit in a bouncy chair -- he can watch you get dressed, do your hair, fold, even shower.  (It might take a while, but as he gets more used to it, he can sit longer.)

5. Set up dates with your long-lost girlfriends to give yourself a psychological boost and an excuse to shower.

6. Finally, show up late for work and leave early. Just like 10 minutes or so.  Use the time to wander around and be "nowhere". Or go to a bookstore. Or brush your teeth, whatever.

Good luck -- you'll be great!!

PS: Thanks for the photo of your husband, who is -- duh -- a hunk.  From that look on his face, I'd guess he's an awesome dad, too.

Hello, Oz!

There was no juggling for me, I'm afraid. There were just a lot of balls rolling around on the floor, and I'd occasionally pick one up, tend to it for a bit, and drop it again. (Except for the baby ball, of course. I'm happy to report that I did not drop the baby ball.) The great thing, though, is that everyone understands. People who have kids have been through it themselves; people who haven't have heard enough stories to know you don't question a new mom's ability to do it all.

The weird thing for me is that you might find yourself in a good rhythm where you're feeling in control, but then everything will change up again. Far from being discouraging, I think this is one of the most exciting things about watching a baby grow. However, I guess if I were to give one piece of advice, it would be this: Remember that the only constant for some time will be change, so flexibility is key. Of course, as the mother of a super cute ten-week-old, I'm sure you already know this!

Ok, here are some tips!

- if you don't have one yet, get an exersaucer soon.  Around 5 months old he will really enjoy one of these and it will allow you to get a lot of things done.  The bouncer was a good idea too but the saucer will have more things for him to see and do.

- find some great crock pot receipes!  I work from home and my girls are in day care.  My husband gets home with them around 5:15pm and they are starving by then.  So, I usually put something together in the crock pot in the morning or when I take a lunch and dinner is ready by the time they get home.  BBQ chicken is great, chicken marinara is yummy, and I have made some great pork chops in there too!

- definitely let your hottie hubby take some night time feedings if your boobs can take it.  That will help you rest up for your days until you get adjusted to working again.

- shower at night to unwind from the day and then also you won't have to rush around so much in the mornings.

- do you have a sling?  If not, make one or purchase one.  You can wear Axel around while you do your chores, cook, etc.  

- back to cooking... if you can, make a double portion of the main dish so you can have left overs again.  I usually make enough chicken for two dinners.  One night we will have grilled chicken with veggies and the next night I will use the left over chicken for a quick and easy pot pie.  Mix the chicken with a large can of mixed veggies, cream of chicken soup, and top with a pie crust.  So yummy!

Good luck!  It will be really hard at first but then things will get easier.

The trick is to learning to just LET IT GO! You won't be able to balance it all...I've been at it for 2 years and still don't quite have the hang of it. We do what we can at night to prepare for the next day, but sometimes nothing works out. BEST piece of advice is to just do what you can be as flexible as you can be....you'll eventually find a system that works for you.

I simply embraced living in squalor.  Admittedly this wasn't much of a problem for me as my neat-freak tendencies are nonexistent, but I figure as long as everyone is fed and has clean clothes, the fact that the floor of our den is adrift in baby toys and kindergarten homework assignments and shoes is okay.  I attend quickly to anything that's actually unsanitary (I never want to end up on the news) but clutter piles up until I get time to do something about it.  Once every couple of months or so we have a party and that forces us to get it all picked up and then we let it go again until next time.

all the suggestions here are great!  there's just one more thing i think i can add- you know that baby powder you got at your shower?  if you rub some into the roots of your hair and then kind of shake it all out, you can get another day between shampoos- it won't look greasy anymore!  this has saved my life a couple times in a pinch.  good luck mommy!