Knocked Up

My son is 22 months. I almost never take him to the store. When I do, I know I've got 10 minutes--maybe 15 tops. We just work around it because It. Is. So. Not. Worth. It. for me. Seriously.

We've moved everything. I no longer have junk drawers. I have drawers with kid-safe plastic crap in them that I never need. I don't even know where my good junk is anymore. We got rid of the bigger knick knacks. We moved the coffee table to the basement. I got really sick of fighting the battles. So I just eliminated as many of the battles as I humanly could.

I think we're STARTING to come out the other side. He's getting a little better these days. But still...

And not to be an alarmist, but is there any chance that Axel might have an ear infection? My son has absolutely no tolerance for anything when he's got one. Just a thought.

Oh I wish I had help for you. Once again, we're in the same situation. I give her all sorts of "illegal" things when I'm doing a diaper change. We also had a Target meltdown yesterday. I think it's just the frustration of wanting to get to everything - ESPECIALLY the unsafe things. It's like they have radar for the bad stuff!

I give you sympathy because I'm in the same boat ... or heading there anyway. I'm also curious to see what the other moms say.

Dude, I was soooooooooooo there most of this year.  It really makes you feel like you're doing something wrong, but you're not.  He just can't regulate his emotions yet.  It will get better in about 6-8 months.  You'll still have tantrums after that, but they will be rarer and shorter.  He just can't tell you what he wants and doesn't understand why you won't just let him grab that steak knife.  And it pisses him off.  Hang tough, it's a rocky road.  Stay out of restaurants, leave him home when you shop if at all possible, and divert, divert, divert.

And once again, ADORABLE pic!!!  Little munchkin!

Clocking in as another mom with no advice, only eagerness to see what the veterans among us have to say. I suspect, though, that all those other parents with Zen-like demeanor are merely in the lull between storms.

Axel is a little wolverine right now, as you said, but it seems like he's going to be SUCH a great kid. Strong personality, strong opinions, active and bold and bright. All this uproar is kind of grape-stomping in preparation for a very fine wine (wow, what a bad metaphor, but I hope it translates).

hello:

In the same boat, here, with a boy who sounds a lot like yours (active, generally cheerful, recently turned into a screeching troll).

I was browsing books in the library the other day and read in one (but of course can't remember which) that when your child is one to two years old, your job is to get them through the day with as little friction as possible. Help them through rough transitions, keep them out of difficult situations (as the responder above said), give them a safe place to play, find out how they comfort themselves and help them do it. It's not yet time for teaching, was the upshot. I'm not sure when that time is, but since my boy is only 13 mos, I'm going to follow this advice for now.

Or until I hear something better.

Hi - Run all your errands at work during lunch time - that's what I do.  For grocery shopping I wake up early on a Saturday and then "sleep in" on Sundays.  Or you can take turns doing the grocery shopping with your husband.  I agree with the first commenter - errands are so not worth it with the kids.  And usually when mine are with me I will buy them anything to make them shut up - thus spending more than I intended.

I feel your pain.  I have gotten so used to my nice sensible six-year-old that I had totally forgotten how frustrating it is to being taking care of someone who has no sense at all and will shriek in earsplitting frustration when denied the right to maim herself.  My fourteen-month-old was FUN at my mom's Toddler House Of Pain, let me tell you.  But *why* can't I climb on the glass coffee table with the razor-sharp corners?  But *why* can't I play with Nana's nail scissors, since she keeps them right there at grabbing level?  But *why* can't I freely climb up and down Nana's steep uncarpeted stairs? <shriek>  

The way my day care deals with it, and I do too since they are after all Teh Expertz, is that they verbally assure the child that the situation will end and remind them to be patient.  Of course, initially they don't get much out of it, but the theory is that over time they start to associate what you're saying with the promise of eventual release.  In the meantime, saying out loud that we're almost done sometimes makes *me* feel better, and it reassures passers-by that they're not going to be stuck with my shrieking offspring for too long.

Oh, we're pretty much still there too (at 22 months), although I've noticed that the more he talks (aka is able to express what he wants and doesn't want), the better it is. I have no real solutions except patience and, for when you're out of the house, a diaper bag filled with stuff for every possible eventuality (small books, all kinds of toys of different types, snacks, etc.)

And, I can't believe it on the picture, underneath that cutie Axel, -is snow??? We don't even have it up here yet (Montreal), that's very peculiar!

Yeah, it's the worst.  It's just. so. draining.  And it seems to last forever.  My daughter is 20 months and for the first time last week I said out loud, 'wow, this has been a pleasant week.'  Meaning, it wasn't nonstop crying/climbing up me/freaking out all day.  Oh, she still flipped out a million times but the tantrums were short-lived.  So.  Give it a few months (easy for me to say).  Hopeful that we are beginning out of the woods now.

The other day I asked my husband to watch our 13 month old while I went to the grocery store. He got this pained look on his face and said "Can't you take her? I'm so tired and it's not like it slows you down." Seriously. This from the man who has never been to the store, either alone or with me, with our daughter. I forgave him because he doesn't know. I'm planning on sending him there with her this weekend. He needs to have his world expanded.

Oh, and I have no tips. I'm working on the more patience on my side.

I have no advice, only empathy.  Little Man was a NIGHTMARE over Thanksgiving.  My own mother suggested an exorcism.

My mantra, "Everything is a phase, Everything is a phase, Everything is a phase."

Same here some days.  My baby is also 13 months.  I just try to distract, get the tempting stuff away and only run perfectly timed errands (all the same things you are doing).  

I did get one good piece of advice for dealing with things that I really, really want to nip in the bud (hitting, throwing things at a me or biting-basically any serious things that physically harms another person).  I pretend to cry.  It actually works.  She stops and hugs me every time.  I only do this when absolutely necessary. Harvey Karp's "Happiest Toddler on the Block" is a good read for understanding a 1 year old.  It helps in the fact that you can sympathize a bit.

Can I add that they also become very wiggly? We just did our Thanksgiving plane trip and boy they become slippery when they can't get down. The nice thing is Mathis is very polite. He says "Hi" to everybody. And a lot. So at least he's amusing.

Truth be told...we're all medicated...heavily medicated and so are our kids! Not really, but that's probably not a bad idea. The reality is that all the other parents are not in a zen like trance and instead you just happen to see them having a good moment. The second you round the corner and get out of ear or eye shot of them, they are trying to keep it together so they aren't escorted from the store by security. We've all been there. Just hang in there. It will get better! I promise! And always remember...YOU are the parent!!!