The inevitable work outside the home or stay at home crisis has come. Lately, I've been entertaining deluded, romantic fantasies of staying at home with two little ones, fantasies that included morning runs, healthy Crockpot meals, an absence of sibiling rivalry, and homemade play clay art projects that left no mess. Though I know staying at home would be nothing like that, these daydreams have me thinking more about work, life, motherhood, and my ever-shrinking retirement fund.
I'm sure you mamas out there were asked if you were going to go back to work when you were pregnant. I think that's the third or fourth question in the list of inquiries for pregnant ladies, after what are you having and what are you naming it. Note that no one has asked my husband this question. Ever.
Here are the things whirling and swirling inside of my head. The list makes it all appear nice and organized, but truthfully it's anything but. It's a tilt-a-whirl of frazzle and what-ifs that makes me kind of queasy.
1. I like my job. I work for a community foundation, reviewing grant proposals and engaging with nonprofits. It's a pretty great gig. What's more, I like my coworkers, I work four days per week, and I have an office with a door - a benefit that I didn't value highly enough until I had to pump three times a day. I worked hard for this job, and I don't want to give it up, nor do I feel confident that I'd be able to get it back if I did decide to leave for awhile.
2. This is not an economy in which having a job - a good, stable, engaging job that you like - should be taken lightly. The endless reports of rising unemployment rates, not to mention friends and neighbors losing their jobs, reinforces that now is a time to hang on to what you've got. You never know when it - or your partner's job - might be gone.
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