Knocked Up

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• The Naturally Occuring Fauxhawk

  Well, here's one way Jonas is different than his older brother: he sports a naturally occuring fauxhawk.  The morning after his bath, the hair in the middle of his head curls up in the middle of his head into a fauxhawk.   Yeah, he's tough like that.      Can't you tell from that grin?  He's a hooligan in the making.  He may be two months old, but he's tough.  That little pug nose is nothing to sneer at.   Read More... Posted Sep 09 2009, 02:17 PM by knockedup with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: two month old baby, two children, two under two

• The Little Guy

  People keep asking me how Jonas is different than Axel.  Well, obviously, he's smaller.  His hair's a little more red.  His hand-eye coordination is not so good.  It's pretty easy to tell them apart.  What they really mean is how's Jonas different than Axel at the same age.  And my answer, which I am embarrassed to say as a younger sibling who understands how important it is to take lots of baby pictures of both children, is that I'm not quite sure.    Truthfully, Axel's very recent babyhood is already a fuzzy memory.  It's an impressionist painting.  When I look to close and try to pull up details, like when exactly he started sitting up or eating solid food or sleeping through the night, I find nothing but a slippery, vague answer that would earn me a big fat F on a Major Baby Milestones Pop Quiz.  That's why people have baby books, and why I should really try to fill in the blanks for either of the boys' books before they graduate from high school and I find myself making it all up, swapping between a blue and a black pen so it doesn't look like I've done a last-minute baby book cram session.     I recently offered my sister-in-law finger foods for her not quite seven-month-old daughter, and she looked at me like, "Wait, don't you have two small children?," though she was too polite to say as much.  Yeah, I should remember things like when kids start with Cheerios and when they start going to a two-nap-a-day schedule, and I don't, though I was certain I'd remember every single moment and milestone.  That's why I now turn to Google and my pediatrician's helpful well check hand-outs for a little developmental info.    As I'm having such a hard time remembering Axel's babyhood, all baby stuff, including the babies themselves, are merging together into one mostly adorable, cuddly lightweight mass of urges and bodily fluids, Baby with a capital B.  This is why my father can't always tell baby pictures of my brother and I apart.  This is why parents mix up their children's names.  If this is happening to me with just two children, how does Michelle Duggar keep her 18, soon to be 19, kids straight?  George Foreman's family of Georges doesn't seem so crazy to me anymore.    Read More... Posted Sep 07 2009, 02:22 PM by knockedup with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: two month old, two children, two under two

• The Truth about Two Under Two

  It's not that bad.  Really.    OK, yes, there's the whole exhaustion thing.  You're tired.  Just when you get the toddler down for bed the newborn decides that he will scream unless you bounce on the exercise ball and sing "Joey" in his ear for two hours straight.  Then you get to go to sleep, only to get up to nurse the baby, only to get up because the toddler believes the early bird gets the worm and an extra cupcake on top.  Sometimes you're so tired you forget basic things, like whether or not you buttoned your pants (assuming you can even button your pants...) and the name of the woman you run into at the grocery store who sat in the cubicle next to yours for two years but all you can remember is that she wore too much jasmine perfume and her name is probably not Jasmine.    Yeah, that part's no fun.  But really, it's more sleep then college kids get when they're writing three essays in one night, and more sleep than you get when you go to a slumber party in 7th grade and stay up playing Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.    And, yes, there's the general insanity of having a toddler, of living with a person who only converses in nouns (half of which are unintelligible) and who believes every one of his demands should be met immediately or he will have to throw all of his Legos down the stairs and try to ride the dog and pinch your arm until you have more bruises than freckles.  And, yes, newborns are crazy, too, with the way they, too, believe that all their demands should be met immediately or they will scream and scream and scream and throw in a heart-wrenching lip quiver just to get their point across.    Wait, I'm not making it sound like it's not so bad, am I.  Let me try this again.   Read More... Posted Aug 17 2009, 08:04 AM by knockedup with | with 13 comment(s) Filed under: two children, two under two, newborn and a toddler

• One Against Two, Or The Five PM Breakdown

  We were doing a pretty good job handling two under two.  That's the problem: we were doing a good job.  Then Sean went back to work for 26 hours.  The job I did with two under two involved a lot more tears, chaos, and relaxation of rules.   Two parents with two kids works much more smoothly than one.  I'll spare you the over-used sports metaphors about man to man vs. zone defense, which I don't understand anyway because my team sports participation basically consists of doing cartwheels on the soccer field at age 10.    Here is what I've learned in one short, yet so very long, day:   1.  Showers are impossible with a newborn and a toddler, unless they take place at 3 am.  Baby wipes and deoderant are an acceptable substitute.  Try to remember to brush your teeth, or your toddler's teeth.  Just getting one person's teeth brushed is probably a reasonable goal.   2.  Tricks and treats should be used judiciously, spread out over the course of the day.  During my first 26 hours alone with Axel and Jonas, I used up my positive, creative ideas for toddler wrangling in the first 45 minutes.  I generously distributed snacks to Axel while nursing Jonas, created an attractive toy and book box next to the rocking chair, ate 20 course meals of imaginary food made by Chef Axel, danced to an old school version of the Hokey Pokey, chased Axel back and forth across the living room, and watched as he piled all of his musical toys in the bathroom (where the acoustics are better for wooden xylophones) .  By 5 pm, Axel had exceeded his RDA of Cheerios, and was eating PlayDough, defiantly standing on the coffee table, on his second round of Momo (Axelese for Elmo/Sesame Street), and throwing bowls down the stairs to the basement.   I had low blood sugar (see number four below) and a headache, and I could not muster the enthusiasm or creativity required to suggest a new fun activity, and Axel ignored all of my suggestions that he play with regular old puzzles and trucks.  Multiple time outs, tears, and don't no no nos for the tenth time get away from that electrical cord! ensued.    3.  Some rules are unnecessary, like the don't sit on the coffee table rule or the only eat at the kitchen table rule or the no TV rule.  The no TV rule has now gone from no TV before 18 months old, to no more than 15 minutes every other day, to please, please, please sit and watch Elmo for 20 minutes, won't you?    Read More... Posted Jul 26 2009, 02:56 PM by knockedup with | with 19 comment(s) Filed under: two children, two under two, newborn and toddler

• To work or not to work?

  The inevitable work outside the home or stay at home crisis has come.  Lately, I've been entertaining deluded, romantic fantasies of staying at home with two little ones, fantasies that included morning runs, healthy Crockpot meals, an absence of sibiling rivalry, and homemade play clay art projects that left no mess.  Though I know staying at home would be nothing like that, these daydreams have me thinking more about work, life, motherhood, and my ever-shrinking retirement fund.   I'm sure you mamas out there were asked if you were going to go back to work when you were pregnant. I think that's the third or fourth question in the list of inquiries for pregnant ladies, after what are you having and what are you naming it.  Note that no one has asked my husband this question.   Ever.   Here are the things whirling and swirling inside of my head.  The list makes it all appear nice and organized, but truthfully it's anything but.  It's a tilt-a-whirl of frazzle and what-ifs that makes me kind of queasy.    1.  I like my job.  I work for a community foundation, reviewing grant proposals and engaging with nonprofits.  It's a pretty great gig.  What's more, I like my coworkers, I work four days per week, and I have an office with a door - a benefit that I didn't value highly enough until I had to pump three times a day.  I worked hard for this job, and I don't want to give it up, nor do I feel confident that I'd be able to get it back if I did decide to leave for awhile.   2.  This is not an economy in which having a job - a good, stable, engaging job that you like - should be taken lightly.  The endless reports of rising unemployment rates, not to mention friends and neighbors losing their jobs, reinforces that now is a time to hang on to what you've got.  You never know when it - or your partner's job - might be gone.  Read More... Posted Apr 09 2009, 11:50 AM by knockedup with | with 38 comment(s) Filed under: working mother, work life balance, two children, going back to work