The conversations I dread most, the questions I don't want to ask, the things I'm afraid of saying - I'm reminded time and again that those are the things that I should be saying, the conversations I should be having. You guys were right. Even as I wrote about the nasty comment that I overheard, I knew that I had to talk to staff at Axel's childcare center about it. Whether we leave or whether we stay, that teacher is still teaching somebody's kids, and since I want to live in a world in which people help one another out and don't just stand by and watch as people do things they shouldn't, I had to say something.
It's often easier to stay silent. It would've been in this case - to keep my mouth shut and quickly withdraw from the situation. But we can't always check out. There are many reasons to remain silent, depending on the conversation or the question. I don't want to offend people. I want people to like me. Sometimes I want to keep on liking them, or keep a relationship in tact that wouldn't survive the airing of concerns. I want to keep things simple and avoid challenges that might come out of the discussion. But - at least for those who, like me, tend to mull things over instead of speak, would rather write than talk, forget to mention their plans for the day to their spouse because they're too wrapped up in their thoughts - speaking up is often the right thing to do. It clears things up. It forces us to deal with the problems in our relationships that we'd rather ignore, and prevents us from ending up in relationship limbo and then waking up five years from now and wondering why we're still having dinner with friends we don't really like or why we're still married to someone we never talk to. It gives others the chance to clear up our misconceptions, or to show us that our perceptions were, for better or worse, right on. It means we're really engaging in our schools and communities.
Read More...
