Love is Blind

Mouth Like a Sailor

I have a foul mouth.  While I would love to admit that I have mouth like a sailor, I must say that I have been around quite a few maritime men and never met my match (proud, aren’t you mom!).  I’m not completely devoid of decency and morals and though I enjoy the perfect opportunity to use a filthy word, I refrain as much as possible around elders and little ones.   That being said, I am human.

 

I’ve dropped a few+ f-bombs around the babe and I always just considered them as words floating around the air that landed where they may.  As long as I wasn’t teaching her to say words like shit, fuck, crap, damn it, hell, and the many other creations you can come up with, I figured I wasn’t really doing my child any disservice.  I also really, really don’t think it’s appropriate to yell in front of GiGi so any bad words were said in jest or simple conversation for the most part.

 

…and then she learned to talk overnight.

 

All at once my little girl went from being a little girl into becoming this walking, talking, curious toddler.  I’d like to think that the whole “do as I say not as I do,” thing works, but it just doesn’t when it comes to kids learning to speak.   GiGi has been a good mirror for my awful mouth and while I highly enjoy my language, I realize just how much I use the wrong words in front of her.  I would die, absolutely die, if she said the ‘f’ word in front anyone.  So, I’ve begun to swap damn it for darn it and take up saying the word flock instead of fuck and shoot/shite/shitake in place of shit.  I’m trying my hardest to clean up my mouth even if it means saying sass instead of ass.  ***P.S.- sasshole isn’t nearly as satisfying.

 

I was sitting on the steps outside of our bath tub last night, taking a video of my bubble faced child singing in the water.  It was one of those adorable remember-this-moment-when-you’re-gray times and then I saw poop floating amidst the watermelon scented suds.  My worst nightmare caught on tape.  This was worse than the pooping on the slide incident from a few weeks ago.  There were so many bubbles in the bath that I couldn’t find it/them.    I needed to get her to stand up so that I could rinse her off, and then take her out of the tub.  In the split second that I took to make a game plan in my head, she took the drain stop out and began to splash like crazy, grabbing at things, poop included.  The entire time I tried to get her to stand up, she’s splashing poop particles in my face (at least that’s what I told myself) and she’s raising bath toys to her mouth as I bat them away.  A slippery child in a poop bath is not a good test for someone trying to refrain from using bad words.  The whole time I struggled to get her out, I would say “GIGI!!” and she would “reply “DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! GiGi!” 

I struggled and she said “come on!” or “stop.”  Both phrases are definitely more appealing than damn it, but even she understood the proper usage of the words.  Last night wasn’t the first night she said the words “damn it,” but it was the first time she said “shit.”  I don’t like that she said it and on normal circumstances I would reprimand her and give her a little talking-to about words on the No-No List, but when I’m on my knees with purple gloved hands, picking poop out of the bath, it isn’t the perfect learning moment.  Especially when you realize the water isn’t draining because a poop log is stuck in the drain. 

 

Gross.

 

No no…FUCKING GROSS.

 

How am I going to get through moments like that without cussing?  Can I just try my hardest to watch my mouth in normal settings and then save up those words for something really bad like poop baths?  I suppose the bottom line is that it isn’t cute when a toddler says bad words. Okay, maybe the first time, but after that it’s just trashy.  I don’t want her to be the 12 year old who calls her friends bitches, or lets the f-bombs drop around her grandparents.  Am I the only one actively struggling not to cuss or is everyone okay with saying darn and oh shoot!?

 

 

 

 

(I'd love to provide photo or video from last night but, the camera is giving me some isues.  Enjoy a pic from Saturdays' stroll in the park!)


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US

Comments

 

Roya said:

This might be my fave pic of her:)

Fellow foul mouthed momma here....just keep on keepin' on girl!

June 16, 2009 3:46 PM
 

jt said:

i as well have a horribly filthy mouth and also sort of enjoy it. for years i worked in an enviroment that was 99% male and in the powersports industry (motorcycles, etc), so swearing was an asset. it was hard when i started teaching full time in a public school (miss, you can't just say F***!) but now with 2 young kids of my own, *sigh*, i find that i have all sorts of strange words creeping into my vocabulary. Crud, fudge and dang. for me, it has to not just be a different word, but really have a bit of a different meaning -- i don't know if i can explain this well, but my stepmom always said "firetruck" and "sugar." kids aren't stupid, so i couldn't really figure out why she did that. Was saying "firetruck" when we all knew she meant "f***" really better? is it just about the actual word?

June 16, 2009 3:49 PM
 

Em said:

Best photo EVER. I love the dress, the shoes, the lighting, the everything.

I also have a filthy mouth. Eddie is 17 months and is starting to pick up language, and I know I need to be careful, but it's so hard. Sigh.

June 16, 2009 4:28 PM
 

Twinmom said:

I am the worst potty mouth ever.  And my husband and I make inappropriate 'flirting' remarks to each other in front of our 19 month old twin boys.  I know it's gonna bite me in the a** very soon.  But sometimes saying, "Darn!" at the top of my lungs when they are in the dog bowl AGAIN just doesn't cut it!

June 16, 2009 5:13 PM
 

mamaseoul said:

I went through this. I was meaning to quit, but I couldn't manage it until my toddler said,"WTF". The f-bomb is very satisfying to say so I was afraid he wouldn't stop using it.

cairomama.blogspot.com/.../bad-parent-wtf.html

But, after I stopped (mostly) and did not make a big deal out of what he said and he stopped shortly after as well.

June 17, 2009 6:55 AM
 

Diana said:

No, I refuse to believe that adorable child in the photo above pooped in the tub.  HA,HA!!!  She's so damn cute!  It's so funny, last week as I was backing out of the driveway I didn't see this truck, and slammed on the brakes yelling "FUCK" (with my 2 yr old in the backseat).  She said "Mommy, Fuck?"  I was mortified!  I said, "Yes baby, Truck" but she kept saying it with the an F.  So I repeated "T.T.T.TRUCK" so eventually I got her to say truck.  I'm trying really hard to avoid that language in front of her, it's tougher than I thought.  

June 17, 2009 9:07 AM
 

Diana said:

Also, Where did you buy her dress?  It's soo pretty and unique.  

June 17, 2009 9:11 AM
 

EG said:

Look at that sassy little thing!  Love it!

The other night we were at a picnic and Little Man was watching (staring) a man we didn't know getting ice out of the cooler.  I said, "He's supervising the operation" and Little Man said, "supervising the operation."  We've been trying to be careful for a while, but that drove it home for me.  He will repeat ANYTHING.

My favorite story: A friend of mine was in the car with her hubby and their toddler.  The toddler said, "Daddy, look at all those fucking cows!"  They, too, had the attitude that words are just words.  Until then.

June 17, 2009 10:06 AM
 

Stephen Kimball said:

There is something about poop in the path that brings out the #$%^*&^$!@!!!!! in my speech.

That said, having a kid in school and a toddler who is repeating all phrases got me to cleanup my mouth. I really didn't want to have a kid who dropped the F-Bomb in his kindergarten class.

June 17, 2009 4:07 PM
 

Mimi said:

i also swear like a sailor and have spent the last 4 years learning replacement swears for when i'm around my very religious in-laws.  which is good practice since i now have a four month old.

my favorite swear is motherf*^@ker which i have replaced with mother trucker. it's effective. close enough to the real thing that it makes people do double takes when you say it with that "did she just say that" look on their face, and funny enough to make people laugh when they realize what you actually said.

and let me just say i will absolutely be adding sasshole to my vocabulary list.

awesome.

June 18, 2009 12:23 AM
 

Marie-Eve said:

Same here. Can't really help myself, and I guess now it's kinda too late.

June 18, 2009 1:18 PM
 

theGrumbles said:

Some friends of ours stopped by on their way home from the beach over the weekend and their 3 year old had told them earlier that day, "Whoa, that's a big fucking wave, Mom!"  Probably not good but she's sooooo freakin cute!

June 18, 2009 1:28 PM
 

Clementine said:

I used to cuss like a sailor, too.  Now I'm the queen of "RATS!" and "Cheese & rice!" with a little "Son of a biscuit!" thrown in for good measure.    

June 18, 2009 1:29 PM
 

Sarah said:

I just had to comment and say how adorable GiGi is in her glasses. When I had to wear glasses as a kid they certainly weren't as amazingly awesome as GiGi's are, hers just seem to sparkle like her personality! I have refractive amblyopia that didn't get diagnosed until I was four. My doctor's kept insisting that I was just clumsy instead of almost entirely blind in my left eye lol.  It's hard raising a child with something like vision impairment as it becomes so much a part of your life. I remember knowing how to spell amblyopia before I could spell the days of the week and the regular ophthalmologist appointments and child specialists. I had to wear a patch over my good eye in an attempt to force my bad one to work until I was 10 and while I hated it with the fiery passion of any teased child, I remember the glasses opening up an entire side of the world that I had previously missed. I think you're doing an incredible job raising GiGi to be a bright, unique, independent little person whose visual impairment will only be an aspect of who she is and not that which defines her. Keep on rocking with that awesome little girl, she's definitely going to dance through life to her own unique beat!

June 19, 2009 1:50 AM
 

kim said:

Hello fellow foul-mouth!!  I struggle and mostly succeed, although my hb would argue not!  My kindergartner was the one who taught everyone to use their middle finger.  I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know what it means, but I am afraid to ask!  Hey, at least I feel a little better knowing you struggle too.

June 23, 2009 6:55 PM
 

amanda said:

I am the worst with my language - I try, but it's hard - and I know it's going to bite me in the ass. I mean, butt.

June 24, 2009 2:56 PM
 

tracey said:

I am a cusser and struggle with a 3 year old daughter who obviously copies everything I say. This morning I was baking and spilled something and carefully said "FFFFFF" without the rest of the word, and my daughter turned to me and said "Fuck, right?". Wow, if that wasn't a reality check I don't know what is! You're obviously an amazing mom and I'd like to think I am too, but we cant be perfect at everything, right?!

June 26, 2009 2:07 PM
 

Wheezer & Mr. Bill from Arizona said:

Hey Bug;

 She is still the most Beautiful little girl, foul mouth and all...Wish we were closer, so we could listen to all the little things she does say..What a cutie...Love her little dress..She is getting so big..Love you both!

June 26, 2009 6:30 PM

About Megg

Megg is a music loving nerd who is learning Braille, working on a book, and playing baby games all at the same time, just for kicks. Hear the foul-mouth talk about things other than baby- here: http://mommymartini.blogspot.com/

in

About the Blogger

Love is Blind

Megg Lasswell in Oakland.

This single mom moved home at age twenty-seven to raise her blind toddler, leaving city buildings behind and trying her best to embrace farm life outside Oakland. She is working on her first book in between indie-rocking out with her daughter GiGi and teaching her the simple things in life.

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