Meet The Fosters : travel

Boogie Wonderland

TheFosters — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 01:58:00 GMT

We succumbed to the dreaded end-of-summer family vacation, we tolerated the kitsch of the aging road-side amusement park.

We came, we saw, he conquered!

We had plans with other families for the Labor Day weekend but they fell through about mid-July. Then we shifted to visiting family, but that too disintegrated. By mid-August after every hotel room anywhere near the beach (our Plan C) was booked, we turned landward again in an effort to give it just one more shot. We have been a little beat-down by the summer in a lot of ways. I think I would have cried if we had all this time off around the holiday and didn't get a chance to escape for a few days. Then someone said something about Dutch Wonderland. Dutch what?

Think back, way back before Six Flags, Busch Gardens or Disney World, when in almost every city there were amusement parks planted right along side the local highway. Most had themes with lots of fiberglass storybook and fairytale characters, small colorful rides, miniature trains, a colorful ferris-wheel that wasn't but fifty feet tall. We aren't talking about the g-force, gut-wrenching high-tech rollercoasters or anything like that. We're talking schmaltz and kitsch and ever-lasting memories of spinning, twirling, rocking rides. Most of them are long gone. I remember Lincoln City, Oregon as a kid. It was as road-side a park as you could get--tiny rollercoaster, carousel with octopus and unicorns, donkey rides and really tall slides--but I imagine it no longer exists. I suspect it was dismantled long ago probably to make way for a condo complex or a shopping mall.

But there is one that still exists--Dutch Wonderland. And as the name suggests it's dripping with kitsch from the fiberglass life-sized but definitely not life-like Pennsylvania Dutch people to the gigantic salted pretzel.

In all seriousness, it was a fantastic place to take Ty that included a ride on a motorized car, a carousel, playing in a water park designed for little kids, and riding a train that circled the park. The great thing about the train was that there were seven or eight railroad crossings along the walking paths throughout the park, complete with lighted warning signs and moving gates. I don't know if Ty was more excited riding the train or watching it pass by as it moved through the park. You might notice from the picture below that Ty has this horrified look while riding the carousel with Darrow. He is actually shouting at the train passing behind me.

Without question the thing Ty would remember most if he could remember anything at all at his age would be the water park. He was a maniac, stomping on the ground where the water spouted up, sticking his head in the squirting fountains, squealing at other children who also splashed about. He even had a lot of fight left in him when I went to take off his suit and dress him. He continued to play and wrestle me during the diaper change. And though the park has been around for decades it clearly has not lost any of its appeal. Ty was sound asleep in the stroller before we even got him back to the car.

And though the park was a lot of fun, the hotel room had its own charms. Take a California King bed, a nice set of sheets and lots of fluffy pillows and you have one great playroom. I guess I was a bad daddy and let him jump on the bed and on me. We played pillow fight--actually I hit him with the pillows and he laughed hysterically. We had waffles in the hotel lobby--it was our own little hotel wonderland.

Some of the things we took away from Dutch Wonderland:

This place was a blast, close by and we should go back
We don't go away enough and sometimes just a night in a hotel can be fun
Ty is becoming a little boy

-- J

The Trip Home - Part II

TheFosters — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:45:00 GMT

How do you stretch a three hour nap over a four and a half hour flight...you don't

It has taken some time to get this down on paper. I think in reflection it is easier to find some humor in it. My predictions of an ill-fated plane ride home though dramatic, were pretty much on the mark. But really, what's a vacation without a little traveling drama? It makes the story a little more interesting for everyone. I would much rather hear about the crazy taxi driver who almost killed everyone, or the sudden thunderstorm that threatened to wash our beach hut into the bay, then, "we had a wonderful, relaxing time."

In an effort to have a repeat of our trip out, we tried to get young Ty to sleep as much as possible on the flight. We had kept him up late the night before and allowed him only limited napping in the morning. In the beginning he spent a short time fidgeting in the seats before the familiar fingers in the mouth trick which signaled it was time for nitey-nite.

It was nice to have him go down so easy. The problem though for us was how to stretch his two hour nap time over a four and a half hour flight. With a little more than 2 hours left in the flight, the little guy woke up hungry and fussy. We began with a bottle and some crackers. That bought us 15 minutes. Then he had some of the cookies that the flight attendant gave us and he played with some of his toys. After a diaper change and a few intermittent screeches we had killed another 30 minutes. That left us 1 ¼ hours left to fill. For a while Ty would focus on things in the seat, the moveable arm-rests, the tray tables, seat-belts. The screeches continued--just a few but they were more frequent and generally involved wanting or not wanting to do something. As we quickly ran out of occupying activities we resorted to the last resort--books. I realized at the time that even if I could maintain his interest in story-time, I certainly did not have enough reading material to last an hour. And I didn't think that I could read Spot's Big Adventure the necessary 17 ½ times in order to fill the 57 minutes left in the flight.

Unfortunately it was worse than that. Ty just was not in a quiet mood and not really into sitting listening to stories. He was a little attention-challenged and kept grabbing the pages and trying to close the book and becoming frustrated. Each time I took the book back from him in order to continue the story, he would screech. Then I began to notice the darting eyes-to the front, to the side, to the back. We were quickly becoming one of those horror story flights. You know, when the weary travelers lament about the screaming kid who wouldn't shut up during the flight. I realized that all he actually wanted to do was wander through the airplane--something he obviously couldn't do. His other preference was to wrestle the moveable arm rest and scream when he could not get it to move. At one point he began writhing in his seat and belting out some good long ones.

What's worse, there were other kids on the flight but they weren't being very loud, or perhaps they were but Ty was drowning them out. Not only were we loud, we seemed highly visible on the flight, because well, here are two grown men trying to handle this pre-toddler and I would imagine to most we were not doing a very good job.

I would like to believe that the giant Middle Eastern man in front of me and the scary looking long-haired woman behind us were really nice people under different circumstances. The few times I walked down through the plane with Ty, scary lady was standing behind our seats glaring down at us over her reading glasses. Besides the periodic glances over the back of his seat, the giant kept sighing and as we pulled into the gate he had a loud cell phone conversation intended for us to overhear, indicating to the person on the other end that this was indeed the worst flight of his entire life.

Are we to be banished from commercial flights? Should we be punished for trying to travel with a 1 ½ year old? And where were the flight attendants? Don't they have little airplane toys and wing pins and isn't that part of their job to distract little ones when their parents have exhausted all other options? I guess like everything else in the airline industry, they have cut out that service. Frankly, they seemed a little annoyed with us also--go figure.

By the time the wheels hit the ground, it was all starting to get under my skin even though I tried not to let it. The last 15 minutes were probably the worst since Ty had to be held tightly in our lap as part of our preparation for landing. There was a lot more back-arching and a fairly steady tirade of screams. I wasn't sure what was worse: his screaming or the hostility coming now from all around us. In the end though, we gave them all a really good story--in fact the best story. For the giant, it would rank up there with the worst ever traveling horror stories and he would live to tell it over and over and over.

It was our little bit of traveling drama. Not only does the giant and the scary lady have a story to tell, but so do I. So the next question is when is our next trip? Well, I hear that those crazy Californians are letting same-sex couples get married. What do you think--here we come Disneyland?!

The Trip Home - Part I

TheFosters — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:33:00 GMT

Wishing my son could grow-up around my family

On the last day, I think we were all ready to head back home. It was a good trip--the first time in recent memory that I had ever thought of moving back home. In those seven days I got much more than I expected out of being with family, not that I had low expectations. I felt their warmth in a different way than I ever had before. After forty some-odd years of being their son, brother, uncle, friend, I was now a dad. I don't know how that made me different or how it may have made them different towards me. In any case there was so much good in what I and my little family felt from them.

I knew that my parents would take to Ty. They have always embraced their grandchildren, making time for them, showering them with gifts and love, talking so proudly of them to their friends. What surprised me a little was how much my brothers took to the little guy and how quickly he took to them. For some time now, Ty has had this stranger anxiety which did not seem like it was going to dissipate anytime soon. He took a little time to warm up to my Dad, step-Mother and even my Mother. But George, my little brother picked him up like they were best buddies. They were cackling in a mirror, reading stories together, playing with toys. George is probably the most kid-like of all of my siblings. At times Ty put his fingers in his mouth and seemed content just to be held by George. We wondered if it was the family resemblance--George being just a younger version of me that enabled Ty to feel so comfortable, so quickly with his uncle. Or maybe it was just because he is George.

Then there is my brother Bill. He and his wife Pam live in a great old house on a ranch. They have dogs and cats and horses. In many ways being on the ranch feels like you are not just visiting family but it is like being on vacation. It was sitting at their huge farm table two years ago that Darrow and I first discussed with them the fact that we were planning to have a family. I sat at that same table watching the two of them now interacting with our son. It was in Pam's kitchen that Ty first discovered the joys of the Tupperware drawer. Who knew that two people could bond over some plastic.

After we got home, it didn't take him long to locate the Tupperware in our kitchen. My brother Bill immediately put the Tigger that they bought for him on his head in order to play with Ty. Ty kept giggling as he watched his long-haired, bushy-faced uncle be silly. It is just my brother's nature. He like Darrow is a Dad's dad. Any kid would be lucky to have him for a dad or an uncle for that matter.

Then there is Uncle Russell. We were lucky enough to see a lot of Uncle Russell--a big loveable man and another of those that will make someone a wonderful father. He too exudes the sense of calm and repose and care that seemed to make Ty feel comfortable. He pointed out the ferries crossing the water at the end of the pier.

Saying goodbye was harder this time. Instead of missing my family generally, it felt like it was amplified by the fact that I was not going to be near them all during this wonderful time for us. It is hard to be so far away when life continues to go on: kids grow up; parents grow older; people fall in and out of love; everything changes too damn much. A lot can happen in a year, or two, or three. Every time I go home there is this illusion that nothing should have changed while I was away. I not only miss them, I miss what is happening to them. What's worse, now they will all miss what is happening to me, to us, as our son continues to flourish. In some ways that is harder to deal with.

--J

The Trip Out

TheFosters — Fri, 23 May 2008 12:20:00 GMT

So I don't have any horror stories yet to tell but we are only through day two of a seven day trip. I was so wound up by the time we were ready to leave for the airport that I wasn't sure I could handle screaming baby / evil passenger drama.

Ty and I had been to a doctor's appointment that seemed to drag on forever. First you check-in, then you wait, then you see the medical assistant, then you see the intern or resident, and finally the doctor appears a little over an hour after the appointment began. So I am already geared up by the length of time I have to entertain a 16 month old, coupled with the bad news that his specialist wants to do yet another test. I think she enjoys torturing my son. We both left there agitated and exhausted.

We sped home so we could pack up the dogs and cart them off to their doggie vacation. Try taking a baby and three, big, excited, fearful dogs into a dog kennel while serenaded by a chorus of the current canine residents. I was already feeling bad because I can't stand to leave the ol'lady of the house, Mika when we go on vacation. I have a fear that something might happen to her and I would not be able to be there with her. And to top it off she started giving me the shivering, quivering, daddy don't leave me at this awful place, bit. I had to scoop up the little one and leave without looking back. Also weighing heavily on my mind was the rescheduled hearing regarding our son's case that was just about to begin. We were not going to be able to stand outside the courtroom this time because this train was about to leave for the airport for one well deserved and needed vacation.

When we got home it was time to go through the list. Surely we weren't ready, would forget something, would regret not taking more time to pack. Darrow had beaten us home from work, had changed and was already doing the final packing and checking to make sure we were ready. I was beginning to realize that I could relax a little, not much, just a little. As our departure deadline approached, we began to load the car and were on the road just as we had planned.

Once we had parked the car and were on the shuttle bus to the airport it seemed like it was time to relax some more. Ty seemed a little perplexed by the whole thing. I don't think he had ever been on a bus before and I was certain he had never seen the inside of an airport. Security was a breeze, surprisingly. I guess they had figured out the whole liquids and baby bottle thing. They didn't even make Ty take off his shoes. We were also confused by the fact that no one questioned our authority to take this child on a plane for interstate travel. I had brought documents showing that Ty was our foster son and we had authority to take him out of state. Nobody cares--who knew. I suppose biological parents don't have to bring birth cerificates to prove "ownership" of their traveling children.

So we are off to the gate where there are wide open carpeted spaces. You could see Ty's little mind working, wanting to get out there and crawl around everywhere. A few times I had to retrieve a stray bag that had gotten away from us. For dinner we had luke-warm pasta that everyone seemed to enjoy, mainly because we were hungry. As we got near the gate, the agent began to announce, "those passengers who need a little extra time for boarding...." I always wanted to be one of those special people who got to board the plane first. Of course, just as they made the announcement, the little one started to smell. So I whisked him off to change the dirty diaper and while I was still wiping away his little behind, Darrow calls me on my cell phone to say the gate agent is giving him grief because they are ready to close the door. Hey, who can plan these things and it's not like I was taking my time or anything. So I get the little guy fresh again and we race in the stroller back to the gate.

All aboard. All aboard? All aboard the empty plane! It seems that because this is one of their maiden flights on this new route that the plane is less than half full. In fact all of the families with kids began packing up and migrating to the back of the plane to get away from the non-child carrying passengers and to spread out in their very own row. Besides the really nice people sitting behind us who played peek-a-boo with Ty, there wasn't anyone within a few rows of us. How great is this! Even if our son gets the screaming me-mes, its just us parents and kids and we are all in the back of the plane. Ty played and goofed around and screamed just once or twice and then he went to sleep in the seat between us. And there he stayed until the landing gear came down. It was a beautiful thing.

My dad was there waiting for us at baggage claim. It was good to see him, he is a great guy and I was happy to have our son finally meet him. At first Ty played shy, by turning away a little and putting his head in the nape of my neck. But it wasn't long before he was sitting in "Poppa's" lap. My father does not respond to grandpa. All of his grandchildren call him Poppa. We made the trek to his house and we set everything up in our room. By midnight (3AM EST) all three of us were safely in bed, snoozing away. It was a happy beginning to our little adventure.

Parents of Screaming Child are Choked by Angry Passengers...Details at 11

TheFosters — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:55:00 GMT

Somehow I have this fear and dread about our trip. Did we mention that we're going out of town? Finally, we have decided no matter what Ty's future is with us, that we are going to make this little guy officially a part of our family. He will be introduced to our extended families, thus the non-stop flight to the West Coast. Later this summer we are planning an up-state New York trip to hit Darrow's family.

Okay, so sometimes I can be the voice of gloom and doom, though not always, just sometimes, okay oftentimes. Up until a few years ago, I traveled a lot for work. Each and every time there was an undercurrent of stress that I carried with me up until the time I put my butt into the seat of the plane, then I could start to relax. My fear now though, is that we as new dads will forget something, or since this is the first time traveling by plane with a kid in tow that we will inevitably make mistakes and everyone on that plane will hate us. Here is the problem:

Ty is officially a toddler, mobile, active and does not sit still.
Ty is able when he is unhappy or hungry to let out the most blood-curdling scream that has ever emanated from any child, anywhere, ever in the history of children.
Ty is a very good sleeper if he is placed in his crib with room to flip and thrash. When in smaller spaces he tends to wake more frequently (please see item no. 2 above).

Wish us well. We will be reporting back periodically on our travels. Oh, did I mention we are on a night flight so most other passengers will be sleeping....make that trying to sleep.

--J