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Political Nanny

Who Loves You, Campaign Baby? (Rambo, Porn Stars and Writers, That's Who)

Running for president is not a popularity contest. Oh, wait, it is! And just like high school this competition hinges on the backing of other popular kids. This year's election has been a veritable Endorsement Bonanza. Everybody is getting in on it, no matter what their relevance levels, which for most, in Political Nanny's estimation, peaked somewhere between 1983-1989.

 

So for every Maya Angelou that steps up to stump for Hillary Clinton, there's a Toni Morrison who thinks you should vote for Barack Obama. Mike Huckabee's campaign took off after Chuck Norris promised to kick campaign butt. Now Hulk Hogan is throwing his weight around to encourage support for Obama. Rounding out the Aging Muscle-Man endorsements is Ric Flair, also for Huckabee, and Sylvester Stallone, a McCain man, naturally (this endorsement suspiciously coincided with the release of Stallone's latest Rambo movie).

 

This year's backers come in all shapes, sizes and professions. Here are a few more:

 

Vampirist Anne Rice and barrister-cum-crime-novelist John Grisham heart Clinton.

 

Porn star and writer of "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" Jenna Jameson would like to tell you how to vote like a porn star -- casting a ballot for Hillary Clinton. She has her reasons. Of course, Porn Stars are not a monolith. Savanna Samson wanted to toss her lot to Rudy Giuliani, but his campaign climaxed prematurely and made a huge mess. Equally deflated is King of Porn, Hustler's Larry Flynt, who made his sweet love for Dennis Kucinich well known. Now, all Flynt has left are a few good memories of what might have been.

 

There was, of course, the Grande Dame of endorsers -- Oprah for Obama. Here are some other celebrity endorsements (a couple of which are even 21st-Century relevant)

  • Kevin Bacon - John Edwards
  • Donnie and Marie Osmond - Mitt Romney (Political Nanny KNEW he'd have someone!)
  • Lance Armstrong - John Edwards
  • John Mayer - Ron Paul (that body of thought is a wonderland)
  • Jeff Gordon - Rudy Giuliani
  • Bo Derek - Rudy Giuliani (eh. 7.5)
  • 50 Cent - Hillary Clinton (word?)
  • Adam Sandler - Rudy Giuliani
  • Martha Stewart - Hillary Clinton (you OK with that, Hillary?)
  • George Clooney - Barack Obama (double swoon)
  • Harry Belafonte - John Edwards (daylight come and he went home ...)
  • Wilford Brimley - John McCain (dinosaurs, unite!)
  • Scarlett Johansson - Barack Obama 

 

 You're relevant to Political Nanny no matter when you peaked. Whose endorsement are you endorsing? Whose endorsement do you find stunning? 

 

Thanks to BuzzFeed

 

 

 



Comments

 

Vernon James said:

Wilford Brimley is still alive?

Seriously, why should anybody give two shakes of Jenna Jameson's bottom what any of these "celebrities" think? These people have spent their entire lives clawing their way to some level of prominence in cut-throat fields (music, movies, TV, sports) filled with jackasses and which are, by and large, anti-intellectual and entirely self-congratulatory. Suddenly, their opinion about who should be making decisions about healthcare reform, the economy, and foreign quagmires is supposed to mean something? Why aren't more people in the media calling BS on these clowns?

February 1, 2008 1:37 PM
 

KJH said:

Vernon - Would their opinions carry more weight with you if they made less money/were less “artistic”.  Smells kind of elitist to me.

February 2, 2008 4:42 PM
 

Vernon James said:

I could care less about their money ... I have no idea what you mean by "artistic", so I can't address that. Anyway, the basic point is that there's no reason at all to suppose that humps like Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Jenna Jameson, Oprah, Wilford Brimley, George Clooney at al have any greater insight into what makes for a good candidate than the rest of us. So, why should anyone give a damn about what they have to say? In fact, given how detached most celebrities are from the world that the rest of us inhabit, I'd say there's plenty of reason for thinking that none of them is qualified to speak on anything beyond their own very restricted domain of "expertise".

If it's elitist to want our political discourse to include more input from genuinely knowledgeable sources (most of whom are ignored or marginalized by the mainstream media, of course, because you can't sell tampon or beer commercials for a reasoned, fact-based discussion) and to exclude distracting noise (i.e., the blatherings of the self-important celebrity class), yeah, I'm an elitist.

February 2, 2008 6:25 PM
 

Pat T. said:

I'll tell you what cracks me up. The Republican "celebrities" in 2004 who were put on display at the convention. Ron Silver? If you held a gun (thanks 2nd amendment!)to my head, I couldn't tell you what he's famous for. Bo Derek? Stephen "Least talented brother" Baldwin? That actress who played Ray Romano's wife who did a couple of Ralph's commercials? And then the Republicans were all "see, we have celebrities too, and isn't Bo Derek still hot for a fifty something year old?" I'm looking forward to more heavy hitters this year, like the actor who played Inmate #47 in the third season of OZ or the actress who played Nervous Bank Teller on an episode of CSI Miami.

February 3, 2008 3:21 PM

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About the Blogger

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Madeline Holler

Madeline Holler is a writer and mother of two. She lives in Long Beach.

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