Political Nanny : Bill Clinton

Clinton Smackdown Chelsea-Style

Madeline Holler — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 18:17:00 GMT

Ohhhhh, if Chelsea Clinton isn't the whole package. Political Nanny can't wait to take care of the youngest Clinton when she's running for president.

While out campaigning for her mom at a college campus, Chelsea responds to a question about the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Watch. Mama must be proud. (Daddy is probably under his desk rocking himself in shame.)

Naughty Chair: Entrepreneur Gennifer Flowers ... She's Selling the Tapes

Madeline Holler — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 10:13:00 GMT

Before Political Nanny was keeping on eye on Hillary Clinton, she was watching Bill. Obviously not closely enough because -- how shall we put this? -- Little Bill played around. With the girls. In a big, messy, and not terribly discreet way. Surely you recall.

Oh you don't? Well, fear not. The recorded messages between Bill Clinton and his once mistress of 12 years, Gennifer Flowers, will soon be up at auction. Surely the winning bidder will share them with the public. Flowers, 58, first played the tapes at a press conference in 1992, which she called in order to defend herself again Clinton family denials. She has held on to the recordings all these years.

Why sell them now? Flowers, who lives and works in Las Vegas (and keeps a blog), hopes to ensure her future financial security by selling the phone sex recordings of her and Bill Clinton. A Japanese businessman once offered her $5 million for the tapes. So auctioning the tapes is about payment.

It's also about pay back.

From Norm! at Vegas Confidential:

Asked about the timing of her announcement coming out as Hillary Clinton continues to slide in her presidential bid, “I don’t need to hurt Hillary. She is doing a fine job of that herself, along with her idiot husband. Karma is an interesting thing. If these two don’t get elected, and they are a team, it will be karma coming back to visit them. It's about time."

But such opportunism, while on the one hand expected, is rather exhausting. It's like a 2-year-old tattling on a known trouble-child. It's overkill. So for getting on Political Nanny's last nerve, that's two minutes in the Naughty Chair, Ms. Flowers. A little time to think this through, a little time to count your money.

Next item for auction? Lord, please not the blue dress.

[via Wonkette]

5 Quotes That Show Clinton is a Mom

Madeline Holler — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:29:00 GMT

We don't need Chelsea Clinton to remind us Hillary is a mom. She sometimes sounds like one. Here are five recent Hillary quotes that had us thinking, "gawd, Mom!"

1. "Shame on you, Barack Obama." This said after she accused her rival of misrepresenting her views on NAFTA and healthcare in recent mailings around Ohio. He's soooo getting grounded.

2. She called for a "trade timeout" during the Austin debates. And then what? NAFTA, go to your room and think about what you've done to wages and industry.

3. Not a quote, but an action -- she hugs Chelsea first after every debate and major speech: Sure, Bill's been banished for awhile, and yes, even if he was there, we have all those marriage issues, etc. But she shows off her daughter. What a mommy.

4. She also protects her daughter. She got that MSNBC guy suspended for associating Chelsea with prostitution and saying that Hillary had her "pimped out." From Politico: “Nothing justifies the kind of debasing language that David Shuster used and no temporary suspension or half-hearted apology is sufficient,” Clinton wrote to NBC News President Steve Capus, who apparently had already called Clinton to personally apologize.

5. With respect to fighting for Florida and Michigan delegates, which she says she will, she argues: More than 2 million people came out. I mean, it was record turnout for a primary. Florida, in particular, is sensitive to being disenfranchised because of what happened to them in the last elections. I have said that I would ask my delegates to vote to seat. OK, not exactly mommy words. More like the mother of invention/necessity kind of stuff. Whatever it takes to get a Mom in the White House.

Photo: Rocky Mountain News

Canada Has Superdelegates? Eh?

Madeline Holler — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 17:06:00 GMT

The Democratic presidential candidates are mining superdelegate votes in Canada. Now, they know America's coldest neighbor isn't actually a 51st state, right?

Right. But Ontario happens to be home to a couple of expats who have lived there since the 1970s and are also executives of the Toronto chapter of Democrats Abroad. Who knew?

Obama and Clinton campaign managers, that's who. And they've been aggressively bugging Robert Bell and Toby Condliffe for their superdelegate support.

In the Toronto Star:

"Oh, I tell you, I get three or four calls a day," says Bell. "It started late last year. I've had calls from both (former) president (Bill) Clinton and Senator Clinton. Dick Durbin, the senator from Illinois (an Obama supporter and majority whip) called me from his cellphone. I've been polled by The New York Times, CNN and AP."

So who's it going to be? Well, Bell is endorsing Clinton. Condliffe will vote for Obama.

Looks like Canada won't be deciding the Democratic nomination either. But Political Nanny likes how nice the superdelegates play with each other.

Scrapbooking the Election: Candidates in Love

Madeline Holler — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 19:02:00 GMT

Warning: this might be a little like walking in on your parents. So if you've got some unresolved issues, you'll want to move on to the next blog. Because today, the loviest day of the year, we're going to take a peek at how the final four candidates fell in love (and how they show it now).

GOP Love: John and Cindy McCain

Now, the McCains' love is never on full display. We have to search for the subtle clues. But here's how he describes the night that they met:

From AZ Central.com: She was lovely, intelligent and charming, 17 years my junior but poised and confident. I monopolized her attention the entire time, taking care to prevent anyone else from intruding on our conversation. When it came time to leave the party, I persuaded her to join me for drinks at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel. By the evening's end, I was in love."

Flashforward 28 years ... Here they are as his campaign surge begins after New Hampshire.

On her blog, the McCain's daughter describes this photo as her mom and dad "having a moment."

John and Cindy McCain in a hotel room (no, not like that. Bummer.)

Southern Love: Janet and Mike Huckabee

From The Knot: It was young love for Mike and Janet, who met during junior high school. The two started dating their senior year of high school. Before Mike proposed, he asked permission from Janet's mother and stepfather. "I didn't have money for a ring yet, so I used a pull-tab from a soda can and proposed to her in her living room," Mike says.

Mike and Janet Huckabee's wedding day, May 25, 1974.

Must be inauguration day. Huckabee's in his fat phase. More of him for Janet to love?

Puppy love. Or not. Janet and a slimmed down Mike are in the Arkansas governor's mansion. Looky in the background! Governors' names are tiled into the steps. Fancy!

The Most Examined Marriage in National History: Bill and Hillary Clinton

From The Knot: It all began in the library for Hillary and Bill. "I noticed that he kept looking over at me," Hillary says. "He had been doing a lot of that." After exchanging several looks back and forth, Hillary stood up and walked over to Bill. "I said 'If you're going to keep looking at me, and I'm going to keep looking back, we might as well be introduced -- I'm Hillary Rodham," she says. "The way Bill tells the story, he couldn't remember his own name."

Wedding Day, Oct. 11, 1975

A kiss in Little Rock, Ark., 1992 (From the Telegraph)

He's a former president, she's a new senator. Bill and Hillary in 2001.

Now she's a presidential candidate. And he's, well, sometimes her advocate, sometimes locked away in a closet and told to be quiet. A kiss in the rain, November 2007.

America's Newest Political Sweethearts: Michelle and Barack Obama

It took a month of asking before Michelle would agree to go out with Barack. They went to "Do the Right Thing" on their first date. Then it was love. He swept her off her feet.

Wedding Day, October 18, 1992, at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.

A snuggle in Illinois (love the camera ... that must feel so private!) For more on Michelle and the Obama marriage, go here and here.

A post 2004 monumental, much talked about, life-changing Democratic National convention speech. (Needless to say, well done, Barack!)

And in 2008 conceding New Hampshire (hey, don't look so sad. Like a good marriage, you're campaign is about to get better ... much, much better)

The Coveted Wax Museum Endorsement

Madeline Holler — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:34:00 GMT

Curators of the D.C. branch of Madame Tussauds don't mean a thing ... a thing! ... with how they arranged wax figures of the two Democratic frontrunners.

They have placed confident Barack Obama behind a desk in the fake oval office. Where's Hillary Clinton? She's standing next to the desk in a baby blue silk shantung pantsuit. It appears as if Bill, who is also there in his wax-tastic glory, is escorting his wife out the door. Wax-Hillary is even waving good-bye.

The subtle expression of political favorites finally got to those in charge of the display.

From the NY Times:

Later, in fact, the Hillary Rodham Clinton figure was moved to join Mr. Obama behind the fabled Resolute desk.

That kind of love feels so forced.

Photo: New York Times

Hillary Plays Texas Hold-Me-I'm-Trembling-'em

Madeline Holler — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:10:00 GMT

The Potomac Primary is so yesterday. Which is why Hillary Clinton is in Texas today. She lost big in Tuesday's primaries in Virginia, Maryland, and Washinton, D.C. She's gambling all her chips on Texas and Ohio's March primaries, the next big races and what appear to be her last chance at the nomination.

Mike Huckabee, too, has to regroup if he's going to continue in the race. McCain won big in the veteran rich region of the country.

No more modesty or superstitions: Barack Obama and McCain have no choice but to adopt the frontrunner label.

Let's see what hand the voters in Texas deal her. In the words of Kenny Rogers (hey, he's irrelevant -- surely he endorsed somebody!), she's got to know when to hold'em ... and when to run. (Or, not run in this case.)

Oh, and she should probably congratulate her competitor, since it's become newsworthy that she hasn't. Just saying. Congrats Barack and John!

What do you think of a John McCain/Barack Obama match up?

Photo: Ron Niebruegge

Mighty Heartin' Huckabee

Madeline Holler — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:31:00 GMT

How is it that Mike Huckabee continues to enchant voters and carry whole states in these primary elections and caucuses? It can't just be his freaky ideas about Jesusing-up the Constitution. Can it?

Political Nanny thinks it has everything thing to do with the guy's persona, speaking style and ability to sound completely plugged in and relevant. The crazy talk gets lost in the one-liners. From The Caucus, the NYTimes political blog, we get these gems from a Chesapeake primary day breakfast with journalists:

On running for the United States Senate if this presidential thing doesn’t work out: “It’s more likely I’ll dye my hair green, get a bunch of tattoos and go on tour with Amy Winehouse.” He said "Amy Winehouse"! Does McCain know about Amy Winehouse?

On the recent flood of endorsements of Mr. McCain, now that he is close to securing the nomination: “What are these people saying – that they were for him all along but just forgot to tell him?” Ouch!

On why Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton seems to be struggling right now: “She does not have the personality of her husband. Very few people do.” See, he sounds completely reasonable -- not at all mean.

On why he stays in the race, despite the long political and mathematical odds: “The path to victory is a complicated one for me. The path to defeat is easy – I could just quit.” Thanks coach. Let's hit the showers!

Come on. Don't you heart Huckabee just a little? Maybe ... this much?

Obama Beats Out the Other Clinton Too

Madeline Holler — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 18:12:00 GMT

Yet another plurality of votes for Barack Obama that left a Clinton -- this time the other Clinton -- without a win.

Sunday night, Obama was awarded a spoken-word Grammy for the recording of his book, "The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream." Bill Clinton was also nominated for his book "Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World."

Political Nanny should point out that, what with her years of experience and all, Hillary Clinton has ALREADY one a spoken-word Grammy -- hers 12 years ago for the book "It Takes a Village." Bill, too, has won for two other books of his.

In addition to beating out a Clinton, Grammy voters awarded Obama the prize over former president Jimmy Carter for his book, "Sunday Mornings in Plains: Bringing Peace to a Changing World" and also works by Maya Angelou and Alan Alda (two HRC supporters, incidentally. Vast artistic-types conspiracy?)

[Thanks to LA Times Top of the Ticket blog for the tip]

Hillary Cries It Out -- Again

Madeline Holler — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 17:17:00 GMT

Again with the waterworks?

Hillary Clinton unloaded another round of tears, this time in Connecticut at a Yale Child Study Center event. Forced? Authentic? That's between Hillary and her God (and her campaign strategists).

According to a report, the Senator was hardly sobbing, but then ... Well, here's what happened:

Penn Rhodeen, who was introducing Clinton, began to choke up, leading Clinton's eyes to fill with tears, which she wiped out of her left eye. At the time, Rhodeen was saying how proud he was that sheepskin-coat, bell-bottom-wearing young woman he met in 1972 was now running for president.

Fine, leave her alone, you say. Remember, her husband was always up for a good cry. But Hillary's tears got huge props for her January win in New Hampshire and even though Political Nanny may have found that an overly simplistic explanation, what Clinton said when she took the microphone in Connecticut during this latest emotional moment makes all the mascara dabbing pretty suspicious:

"Well, I said I would not tear up; already we're not exactly on the path," Clinton said with emotion after the introduction.

Hmmmm, analogous to sobbing toddlers who shriek "Mommy ... I'm crying!" at their frazzled mothers. Come on, Hil ... Girl Cry rule No. 1 -- you can either publically wipe away tears or bring them up with a giggle. But not both. It's overkill. The New Hampshire tears ... well played. This Connecticut round? Too much.

This comes less than 24 hours before Super Tuesday, where she's apparently tied with Obama in loads of the states that will be voting tomorrow. Anybody else up for a good cry?

Via Wonkette

Photo: AP

Big Daddy Clinton Heckles 9/11 Heckler

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:48:00 GMT

Well, he said what most of us have thought for a verrrrry long time. Now, it's not clear what the heckler said, but before Clinton lays into the heckler, he clarifies that the interruption had something to do with being "one of those 9/11 inside job guys."

Man, he's testy. It's a short video and continued fun in watching Bill Clinton, who Political Nanny loves, come thiiiiis close to unhinged. Political Nanny thinks things are getting pretty tense in the Clinton (whichever one) campaign. We'll see how things are AFTER what will surely be a contentious debate tonight!

Clinton has called someone out on whacky 9/11 ideas before, even telling the heckler to "shut up." Political Nanny prefers "please be quiet."

Now Casting 'Election 2008: The Movie'

Madeline Holler — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:36:00 GMT

Eventually, the 2008 Election is going to make a great epic movie. Sure, we don't yet know the ending. And yeah, so far the story centers mostly on the campaign and surprise Iowa win for a bi-racial Senator, and a pretty decent tearful plot-twist, courtesy of the ambitious, conniving, first woman to do anything important in this country ... ever! There's also the tension building over a New Hampshire comeback for the aging Republican stalwart. Comic relief/hints of horror from the fundamentalist Christian with populist appeal threatening the hopes and dreams of a Morman businessman with daddy issues. There's the 9-11 Mayor, the stinking rich son of a South Carolina mill worker and a second-rate actor on a ubiquitous television franchise to squeeze in there too.

You couldn't write this stuff! But somebody will. Though it's a bit early to be drafting a script -- and hiring a script doctor to come in and punch up those debate scenes (let's be honest, Monday night was 10 minutes of rancor surrounded by 100 minutes of the usual) -- we can start thinking about other ways to get this project greenlighted. Help Political Nanny cast the lead roles:

Slate has made a solid case for Reese Witherspoon as Hillary Clinton in this very amusing video that cuts several Hillary moments with those of another Witherspoon role, Tracy Flick in the 1999 movie "Election." The anger at a lifelong ambition suddenly under threat. The singular focus on winning. The tears. (If it gets on your nerves the first time, go back to it later and watch it again. Eventually, you'll love it.)

How about the rest?

For obvious physical reasons, Mike Huckabee should be played by Kevin Spacey. We're sure Spacey's already brushing up on Scripture, guitar chords and radical weightloss techniques in anticipation of this film (think Spacey will go fat suit or real weight-gain for background scenes as a tax-hiking governor of Arkansas?). It's so the role he was born for, not that Bobby Darin disaster he got a little too into a few years ago.

Fred Thompson could play himself. And he could play himself playing himself on Law & Order and it could get a little Being John Malkovich only with Southern aphorisms and lots of scheduled naps.

Political Nanny feels like Mitt Romney could be played by Tom Cruise (in lifts), what with them both being Scientologists ... or Mormons ... or whatever. Same difference. If Cruise refuses the height-enhancing orthotics, his hair could land him the Edwards role, which leaves Romney open for ... suggestions? A young Charlton Heston?

Joe Biden's role would be too small for the talents of Alec Baldwin, but we'd like to see him do it anyway. The two come so easily unhinged that we feel, just like the real Biden, Baldwin will steal the few scenes he's actually in.

Only Tommy Lee Jones and a box of jawbreaker candy could do the role of John McCain any justice. Which leaves Robert Duvall to play Rudy Giuliani (mmmhmmm, good one, huh?! And we know Duvall would say yes!). But Chris Dodd? We'll have to have open casting for him unless you've got some ideas.

Barack Obama has said he'd like Denzel Washington to play him in the movies but thinks his ears make Will Smith a better fit. Fine, but Political Nanny likes any excuse to watch Denzel so he's got her vote.

Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, and Mike Gravel can be played by extras. After all, this film's got a budget.

And Dennis Kucinich. Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Now, keep an open mind on this one. Political Nanny sees Mike Myers channeling a little Austin Powers channeling the comeback role of a lifetime. Think it'll work? (Julianne Moore gets to be the hot Mrs.K!)

Political Nanny also hears Ralph Nader is thinking about getting in the race. Who's going to play him? Jim Carey? John Turturro? Alan Alda? The talented and versatile Fred Thompson? Fred's got time to rehearse and he'll be available since, well, he called it quits Tuesday and will only appear in the first 20 minutes of this politico-historical epic.

That leaves squeaky Ron Paul, sweet Bill Richardson and gasbag Chris Matthews, who would no doubt want to play himself. Any suggestions? We're looking for an Oscars sweep.

Photo: Wonkette.com

Hillary Talks Adultery, Body Image ... the Usual Campaign Stuff

Madeline Holler — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 03:06:00 GMT

Cringe with Political Nanny and have a look at Hillary Clinton on the Tyra Banks Show. The candidate-once-scorned is explaining to Tyra how she felt when her husband cheated on her, the details of which became public 10 years ago this month. Happy anniversary! (Relive the historical highlights here.)

Clinton says: "I really had to dig down deep and think hard about what was right for me. ... You are mad, you are really upset, you are disappointed... all of that goes through your mind ... I have found you really shouldn't make decisions in the heat of those moments."

Also, she said she never doubted Bill's love for her and that her faith helped her through the tough times. She doesn't really dish, but what did you expect? Tears? Again! Too soon.

Tyra also presses the former first layyyydeee about body image and whether she's ever dissatisfied with her looks. (Answer: yes.) And, as promised, Clinton's reality show dreams. (Fantasy would be America's Next Top Model, reality would be Dancing with the Stars.)

Remind Political Nanny ... how did Tyra land this interview ? Meanwhile, a Clinton aide is checking off "Make More Human" from the to-do list.

Tyra earned her chops interviewing candidates after Barack Obama appeared on her show last year. There, he clarified, among other important issues, who should play him in a movie (Denzel Washington, or, considering his ears, Will Smith); and also, what's on his iPod (JayZ, Miles Davis, Bach ... "I've got a little salsa too," he adds. We bet you do, Barack, we bet you do.)

Candidates' Cribs: Their Digs, Pre-White House

Madeline Holler — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:10:00 GMT

Readers, rest assured. America's housing market meltdown won't leave any of the candidates without a very, very pleasant roof over their heads. But you're kind for caring. How about we take a peek at those roofs and do a little real estate market analysis, you know, on behalf of those candidates who don't manage the upgrade to something bigger and whiter.

Mother Jones was kind enough to assemble a photo album of many of the top candidates' domiciles and CNBC ran the numbers.

John Edwards, that son of a mill worker, lives in the most expensive house of any of the candidates. His rambling $6 million compound, which he purchased in 2007, has risen in value over 4 percent. Think he went the exotic loan route? Incidentally, the average home value in his North Carolina county is $365,000. He's defintely on the other side of the tracks . And when this Chapel Hill estate won't suffice, he's got his $1.08 million beach home.

Rudy Giuliani lives in a $5.25 million nine-room co-op in Manhattan's Upper East Side, by far the best of all the candidate's cribs, in Political Nanny's opinion. The Manhattan housing market has been quite good to him -- the median price of a Manhattan apartment has risen 14 percent since moving day a few years ago. The average cost of a Manhattan apartment is $1.5 million, which, in local money, is kind of slummy, right?

Next up, John McCain's $3 million Phoenix condo (which, according to MoJo, is actually two condos combined into one). We all know the market in Arizona's cities is tanking. The average home price in Phoenix is $428,000, down 1.8 percent in the last nine months. Now, from the outside, his condo looks like a hospital. But for beauty, he can always go to his $1.1 million 6-acre ranch in Sedona.

A tie between Hillary Clinton's Westchester, N.Y., home price and the home Mitt Romney has in Belmont, Mass. There are others. These houses cost the candidates $1.7 million. Clinton has a slight edge in that her neighborhood's prices are down just 2.8 percent, while the Romney's are watching a 9 percent decrease around them. For the Clintons, the average price in the area is $1.13 million. For Mitt and family, the median home price in Belmont is $680,000. (MoJo pictures his $3 million New Hampshire house on a lake, which should not be confused with his $5.5 million main residence, a former ski resort in Park City, Utah. Yow!)

Barack Obama bought his almost-South-Side Chicago house -- a beauty -- for $1.65 million in 2005 (the height of the market, what was he thinking?!). The average value of a home in his area is $310,315. Overall, prices are up 1 percent, so, he's doing OK and won't likely need to take advantage of Hillary's mortgage bailout plans.

Missing from the market analysis: the stats on Fred Thompson's McClean, Va., home, which set the Thompsons back $3.3 million. With prices dropping in the Northeast, though, we'd hate to see him get upside down on his financing. And also Mike Huckabee's Little Rock McMansion, which he and his wife paid $525,00. Sounds like a steal, but we're guessing it's one of the more pricey homes in Arkansas. Which would explain why they registered for house-warming gifts after they bought it.

Now, for any of the candidates trying to establish some Green credentials, Political Nanny's advice is: install solar panels and change those incandescent bulbs, quick! Most of these rather enormous homes likely have an oversized and embarassing carbon footprint. We're just saying ...

Finally, the ones missing from the collection are two that Political Nanny would have really liked to see and also a pair that could give some perspective: the homes of Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich. Send over the links if you think you have tracked either or both of them down. Is Political Nanny alone in imagining Kucinich's digs might bear some resemblance to Austin Power's pad? No, only her?

Hillary: Send Me to Prison

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton said in an interview that her dream would be to compete on America's Next Top Model. She admits, though, she wouldn't have much of a chance. Now, Political Nanny doesn't like to traffic in the superficial, but, since Hillary brought it up? Yeah, not a chance.

However, the former first lady and presidential hopeful thinks she could go all the way as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, and we don't see why not. Especially, as she says, if she gets one of the really good pros. (Oh, but not if Barack Obama is one of her competitors. In that competition? He'd be ready to lead his rhumba partner on Day 1.)

Clinton tackled these and other difficult topics with Tyra Banks earlier this week in a taping for Bank's eponymous talk show. Her interview airs Friday (check for local times ... or check in with Political Nanny, who vows to set up the Political Nanny Cam and bring the video to you.)

Other interesting tidbits: Clinton likened the White House to a prison. Some outtakes (thanks L.A. Times Top of the Ticket):

"Do you ever get lonely?" Banks asked the New York senator. "Do you ever sit in your room by yourself sometimes and just feel alone?"....

"I don't feel lonely," Clinton said. "But I do feel sometimes isolated. Because when you are in these positions that I have been in, it can be very isolating. It is one of the reasons I put on the dark glasses and the baseball cap and go out of the White House. President Harry Truman once said that the White House was like the crown jewel of the American penal system because you can feel confined."

The two also talked about what Bill Clinton should be called if he winds up the First Spouse, and whether she -- remember, future Dancing with the Stars hopeful -- does hip hop or knows the Soulja Boy or the Spongebob dance.

Well what did you expect? Oprah?

Elsewhere on Political Nanny's Playground ...

Club Dem Refuses Race Bait, One Calls Bush 'Pathetic', and Island Survival Strategies

The Democratic candidates clobbered not each other in the debates last night but two of the reps from the media. Brian Williams and Tim Russert tried hard to keep racial discord alive in their early round of questions for Clinton and Obama. But the candidates refused to be baited, bragged on the Democratic party, blah, blah. They defended each other, for example, against how their statements had been reported in the media (Barack on Russert's claim that last night's pledge to take troops out of Iraq was a change from earlier refusals to make such a pledge). They offered excuses for insinuating racism and claims of misusing historic icons being brought up in the first place. (Clinton: “We both have exuberant and sometimes uncontrollable supporters ...”)

Sure, the debate was something of a snoozer (though Political Nanny perked up when Hillary Clinton described Bush, on his trip to Saudi Arabia, as "pathetic" and "begging for lower oil prices.") The questions got so banal that toward the end candidates were asked their strengths and weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses? Even a teenager looking for work at a video store knows how to answer that one. "I refuse to stop working until the job is done" (Clinton gave her version of that) ... I've been told I'm committed to a fault!" (Edward's take on this "weakness" classic.) Political Nanny was fully expecting them to have to tell Russert the one item they'd like to have with them if they were ever stranded on a deserted island. (A book on shipbuilding, of course!) Mercifully, there was a commercial break.

Michigan

Mitt Romney stays in the GOP race, winning 39 percent of the Republican vote in his boyhood state of Michigan. Headlines 'round the nation say this win, Romney's first, and yet another candidate with a first-place finish in these early states, "scrambles the GOP field." McCain came in second with 30 percent of the vote. Political Nanny's glad these candidates will push on for more of the statewide contests.

Also in Michigan, Hillary, the only of the three frontrunners whose name appeared on the ballot, got 55 percent of the Democratic vote. Uncommitted (code for Edwards or Obama) got 40 percent.

'It's OK to be Different': Dems Turn the Page on Race Rant

Madeline Holler — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Political Nanny headed to the bookshelves and pulled out her heaviest hitters to cool down this simmering and saddening race/sex war on the Democratic campaign trail.

For a recent storytime, she assembled her candidates and the Todd Parr "we're all in this together" oeuvre. These colorful children's books starring stick figures of all shapes, sizes and species with the none-too-subtle titles like It's OK to Be Different, This is My Hair, The OK Book, The Feelings Book, ... well, you get the picture ... gave the candidates a chance to remember that nobody owns sadness and suffering more than another and what's truly valued over skin/chromosomes is strength, substance, and a plausible healthcare plan.

Political Nanny thinks they got the picture. (For how things degenerated, a great summary at MSNBC.)

Barack called for an end to the feud. As reported on Politico:

"Obama, too, indicated he wants a truce, saying at a media availability in Reno, Nev., that the campaign “shouldn’t be personal.”

“Bill and Hillary Clinton have historically and consistently been on the right side of the civil rights movement,” Obama said.

Obama also said he didn’t want the campaign "to degenerate into so much tit-for-tat, back and forth that we lose sight of why all of us are doing this."

Hillary stepped up with a statement calling for party unity when it comes to the rights of all Americans.

“We [Clinton and Obama] differ on a lot of things. And it is critical to have the right kind of discussion on where we stand. But when it comes to civil rights and our commitment to diversity, when it comes to our heroes - President John F. Kennedy and Dr. King – Senator Obama and I are on the same side.

“And in that spirit, let's come together, because I want more than anything else to ensure that our family stays together on the front lines of the struggle to expand rights for all Americans.”

Political Nanny has also been reminded that no matter how different we feel that we are from another, there is always, somewhere, common ground and agreement. Which is why Political Nanny finds herself in the unfamiliar position of agreeing with New York Times columnist David Brooks. Not everything (and that's OK), but scroll to the bottom and we get this:

"The final two points I’d make are: First, this whole show seems stale and deranged to the younger set, as Obama and Clinton seemed to recognize when they damped down the feud yesterday afternoon. The interesting split is not between the feminist and civil rights Old Bulls, it’s between the establishments of both movements, who emphasize top-down change, and the younger dissenters, who don’t. Second, this dispute is going to be settled by the rising, and so far ignored, minority group. For all the current fighting, it’ll be Latinos who end up determining who gets the nomination.

At last, a bridge to the 21st century."

Todd Parr, don't you agree?

More in candidate-care ... Two Extra Cookies

Political Nanny is awarding a Clark County (Nev.) judge two extra cookies at snacktime today for ruling that NBC must include Dennis Kucinich in tonight's debates on MSNBC. NBC, who is appealing that ruling, argues only the top three Democratic contenders should be involved. Political Nanny wholeheartedly disagrees. Who cares if Dennis hasn't racked up delegates. He's running for president. He's a national figure. Plus, they invited him!

Everybody Gets a Blue Ribbon!

Our handsome boy Mitt leads in today's Republican primary in Michigan. Political Nanny is secretly crossing her fingers for him to win. He really wants to, it's the state he grew up in. Sure, he's a touch out of touch, promising to rebuild the auto industry when, to put it bluntly, that's quite unlikely. Still. She'd like to see as many candidates stay in the Republican race as long as possible.

Foodie in the House!

This isn't directly related to the presidential elections, but it might be a taste, literally, of what Democratic leadership at the highest levels could bring. Seems House Speak Nancy Pelosi has taken her promise to "green" the House into the cafeteria. Now hungry staffers can dine on healthy stuff, the harvest of which doesn't wreck the environment.

Naturally, the prices have increased considerably and that's not so great. But what's funny and telling are many of the comments, especially those admonishing "Nanny Nancy."

Just imagine what those commenters would say to Babysitter Barack or Househelper Hillary or Meddling Mike -- or any other future president who might actually take the health of the entire nation seriously.

Photo: AP via Politico

Image: Amazon.com

Sensory Overload During N.H. Primary

Madeline Holler — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 21:07:00 GMT

Seriously, Political Nanny is just waiting for a nationwide media meltdown. Reporters laying face down on the ground. Photographers throwing their equipment across the room. Candidates pounding their fists and bawling like babies. (That may have begun to happen already.) There's just so much going on, so much to say, so many ways to look at today's primaries in New Hampshire.

Let's start with the crying:

Hillary Clinton got emotional yesterday when she was talking to a small group of voters in New Hampshire. She teared up. She visibly suppressed a lump in her throat. And she set off a fit of commentary on what the tears meant, whether they were geniune, were they a part of a new post-Iowa campaign makeover, and why did she wait so long.

Today, Fox News reported that uber campaign strategists James Carville and Paul Begala would be riding in to rescue Hillary campaign. Which must have given die-hard Clintonistas a bit of relief. However, were now reading that, no, no, no, it's not true. You're kidding. Fox got it wrong? But there are likely changes coming for her campaign staff. Political Nanny has been waiting for that announcement for a couple of weeks. Oh, and in case you'd like to put Political Nanny on retainer, she'll give you her first nugget of advice for free, Hillary, release Chelsea from the grips of your protective motherly instincts! Let her talk! Let her be interviewed! Help her help you!

Free ride:

The other Clinton, Bill, accuses the media of giving Barack Obama and John Edwards a free ride. Naturally, the media doesn't believe it. Let's be honest, though. Obama is simply interesting, which doesn't necessarily make him a better president, just a better news story. So, while Political Nanny wouldn't call it a free ride, she would call the media's handling of Obama a comfortable ride at a nice price.

Now, Political Nanny would be remiss in not sharing the fact that (1) when doing Google searches for pictures of her candidates, it's much easier to find authoritative yet friendly, strong yet sensitive, handsome yet intelligent pictures of John Edwards and Barack Obama than it is of Hillary Clinton. Look at this picture on CNN.com today of Obama. Why not just Photoshop in a halo? They've got pixie dust flaking off his head! Just saying ...

Also, we know a lot about Obama's good work -- South Side Chicago, the international travel, fun with hard drugs, that kind of thing. And for Edwards? Well, he reminds us of his life's story every time he gets to a mic. (And it's a good story, don't get me wrong!). But for Hillary? We get to hear about her cheating husband. I mean, for god's sake, she's the first woman to really have a shot at becoming president of the U.S. She's got more of a backstory than woman done wrong, no?

Whew! That nearly triggered a Political Nanny meltdown! Back to New Hampshire ...

What hinges on McCain's outcome:

John McCain needs to do very well in New Hampshire to keep his campaing going. What's amazing is that he actually has a chance. He's been getting more support -- Iowa notwithstanding -- and the campaign we were all willing to write off over the summer has survived (but isn't survival what McCain is all about?). Political Nanny wants to see McCain stay in the race. He adds to the tension among the GOP candidates, which reminds the rest of them to behave. Plus, he's got a nasty streak that's quite entertaining.

Oh, man, Mitt needs to rally!:

Last week in Iowa, Huckabee stole the thunder that was a Mitt Romney win and eventual nomination. And now, everybody's looking at McCain. What does this mean for Mitt? A second-place finish, while not the worst possible outcome, it's also not what he expected. And for the GOP in N.H., second-place is the new also-ran, since Huckabee hasn't really bothered much with a campaign there.

Running low on ballots:

Perhaps the most aggravating news that comes out today is that some counties in the state are running low on ballots. My goodness, aren't we just screwing up elections year after year in the United States? Here's hoping the ballot supply lasts until the last voter goes home. If not -- if this primary gets contested or yields inconclusive results by tomorrow morning -- well, that's when Political Nanny promises you SHE'LL throw a tantrum.

So amidst the crying, the surging, the polling, the voting, try to stay calm, dear candidates. Try to stay calm.

Candidates, Political Nanny Loves You. Now Change!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Over the past three months, Political Nanny has grown to love her lot of disagreeable, argumentative, name-calling, cackling, power-praying little presidential candidates. They're approaching the first of many back-to-back primary election milestones -- only three days until Iowa! -- but have already blossomed into tough and sturdy and, how shall we put this, flexible campaigners.

But could they be better? Oh, couldn't we all. In the spirit of starting anew, Political Nanny has made some resolutions for the campaigning men and woman of 2008.

Over at the Democrats' favorite playground ...

Barack Obama: resolve to inspire (again … and, alone!). What happened to the guy who swept us all off of our feet nearly four years ago? This sparkling source of hope has gotten dull from so much positioning and polling and over-wrought handling. Get back to the basics -- make change feel possible! Make it feel inevitable! If the old caucusing biddies in Iowa (or New Hampshire or South Carolina) weren’t going to vote for you months ago, they’re not going to vote for you now. Indeed, one person can change the world. We just don't want Oprah to think it's her!

Hillary Clinton: tear down that wall! This distance you keep from the voting public reminds us of a certain guy president and no, we’re especially not talking about your husband! So let us in. Let us ask questions – any question! Not pre-approved ones! Trust us! We’ll do the right thing! Trust yourself! You've got the answers!

Joe Biden: Keep on keeping on. You know everything, you really do. You probably even know you don’t have a chance to win. But the candidates need you – America needs you. In government and in this campaign. You turn meta-answers into concrete plans, Joe. You say what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.

Chris Dodd: Be (even more) like Joe. With two of you, oh, how the front-runners won’t get away with pandering to the polls!

John Edwards: John, sweetheart, listen. You have got to expand your message to the middle and upper middle class (who look more like the lower- and middle-class you're talking about, everyday). Here's the deal: the mortgage industry is handing you talking points for these people who, to be honest, you might sorta be alienanting with your anti-corporate talk (you see, that’s where they work!). But with housing, ohhhhh, housing. Just bring up housing, foreclosures, bubbles, all of it -- and they’re listening. They're listening to you.

Bill Richardson: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the vice presidential stars.

Dennis Kucinich: Don’t go changing to try to please Political Nanny. She loves you just the way you are.

Mike Gravel: Come here and give Political Nanny a hug, you silly guy.

Now back at Camp GOP ...

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. So much to love. So much to loathe. Political Nanny would like you to be your own guy. She knows that Republicans often get bullied by big scary Christians who claim to be friends. But would real friends ask you to be someone you’re not?

John McCain: Resolve to stay tough. And be strong. You keep hope alive for conservatives who don't necessarily think the church and state are one and the same. Oh, and next time a supporter mentions The Bitch, show some sac, dear John, and don't be so quick to laugh.

Mike Huckabee: Michael! That's enough! You, my boy, are a man of faith. But you must also resolve to be a man of respect. If all you have to offer Americans are platitudes and religious references, please reconsider your leadership goals and run for president of the Southern Baptists. Because Political Nanny likes her America inclusive, cohesive and as plural as it can get.

Fred Thompson: Sit down, honey, let’s talk. Political Nanny thinks you don’t actually want to run for president. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. No shame in “spending time with the family.” So, whenever you’re ready to call it quits, know that millions of others are ready for it too.

Duncan Hunter: Still more are ready to see you go, Duncan. So, Political Nanny would like to see even less of you in the new year, young man. You can use the extra down time for painting murals on your very special wall.

Mitt Romney: Political Nanny thinks you’re a good boy, Mitt, she really does. But you want your buddies to like you so much that you’ve changed your mind, mainly by closing it. You say such damaging things to millions of families in the U.S. and completely dismiss millions of others. Political Nanny wants to see you be the truest, most honest version of yourself in 2008.

Ron Paul: You're doing something right, Ron Paul. Look at all those people giving you money! But that doesn't make you perfect, not by any means. In the new year, Political Nanny would like you to work on (1) living in reality, (2) increasing your dosage of paranoia-tempering thorazine and (3) smiling.

And last but not least, a New Year's resolution for her GOP debate interloper and possible candidate (please, please, please) Alan Keyes: Just. Do. It.

Happy New Year, kids! And Happy New Year, voters! Let's resolve to get together everyday for a little election downtime with Political Nanny!

Extra Cookies: Obama Gets High Praise for Telling Truth About Inhaling

Madeline Holler — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:02:00 GMT

In New Hampshire, openly former-druggie-and-refreshingly-honest-about-it presidential candidate Barack Obama was asked whether, when smoking pot, he actually inhaled. He had this to say:

"I did. It's not something that I'm proud of. It was a mistake … But you know, I'm not going to. I never understood that line. The point was to inhale. That was the point."

Indeed! He was also asked whether he would support medical marijuana. He said he would but only if they could ensure tight controls and offer it by prescription only and for palliative care. Yeah, but, what was the point again?

Whatever it was, Political Nanny wants to reward the Illinois senator with two extra cookies at snacktime for being honest and direct about his youthful indiscretions and only sort of qualifying the whole medical marijuana idea. Also, he might need the extra munchies for, well, you get the point.

Nanny Cam: Caucusing is Easy. Watching a Self-Mocking Bill Clinton is Too.

Madeline Holler — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 15:33:00 GMT

Political Nanny is embarrassed to admit that she has never really understood caucusing. Even those many years ago, when she nearly became a delegate in her home state’s very last presidential caucus ever (it later switched to primaries), she didn’t have a clue and was simply interested in following around this hot-headed, tight-panted young Democrat. But things didn't work out as planned, and, consequently, "attend caucus" will never be checked off her list.

However, thanks to a self-depricating Bill Clinton and a pack of sweet & twangy, corn-fed Iowans, Political Nanny finally understands the caucus! Turns out, there’s nothing to caucusing. You show up. Stand in a corner. Maybe sign something? And get back home in time for Heroes. It’s that easy. No pre-registering, no getting picked, no touchscreen monitors. What fun!

Political Nanny suggests you watch the minute-long ad if "you'd like to know more," which she understands is your way of saying you harbor an abiding affection for Bill Clinton. Aaaaah, Bill. Bill.

Top 10 Political Sex Scandals

Madeline Holler — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:37:00 GMT

Because it’s titillating. Because it's what makes watching public life fun. Because it's Friday. We bring you naughty, naughty politics.

The Washington Post has compiled a Top 10 Political Sex Scandals list. While No. 1 is hardly surprising (Hint: starts with an “M” and ends with an “onica Lewinsky”), a couple of them threw us off. Alexander Hamilton and Maria Reynolds? Anyone care to enlighten us, because I can’t find anything about this in the People magazine archives.

Mostly, though, the list is a stroll down a red-light district memory lane. The groping actor/governor is No. 10. Mark Foley and the underage congressional pages is No. 6. Sen. Larry Craig’s airport bathroom indiscretions landed him second place – something he should probably get used to.

I thought former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey would have made a showing on the list. Who else didn't make the Top 10 cut?