Political Nanny : Huckabee

Huckabee Does Hooters

Madeline Holler — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 02:34:00 GMT

The Mrs., that is. Now, tell Political Nanny, what was a good fundamentalist Christian like Janet Huckabee doing sleeping in a Las Vegas Hooters? Ordering hot wings from room service, we hope.

The not-in-this-lifetime First Lady bedded down in the Hooters casino hotel while her husband raised some dough over the weekend speaking in the Cayman Islands. The story she's going with is that the hotel was close to the airport, she had an early flight the next morning, the less buxom options were all booked, and her friend had a couple of rooms she could use.

Those Huckabees will do anything to earn/save a buck.

Photos: AP, travelswithchicken.com

McCain and Tyra Rock It

Madeline Holler — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:50:00 GMT

Did you get chills watching will.i.am's ode to Obama? Then you'll feeling tingly for a different reason watching this video love letter to John McCain.

Can you figure out whether you'll support John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton? No you can't?

Finally, this random remix, only with Tyra Banks chanting "squat, pull forward, pee." We're not entirely sure why. But we'll trust Tyra and believe that it had to be said.

Hillary Plays Texas Hold-Me-I'm-Trembling-'em

Madeline Holler — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:10:00 GMT

The Potomac Primary is so yesterday. Which is why Hillary Clinton is in Texas today. She lost big in Tuesday's primaries in Virginia, Maryland, and Washinton, D.C. She's gambling all her chips on Texas and Ohio's March primaries, the next big races and what appear to be her last chance at the nomination.

Mike Huckabee, too, has to regroup if he's going to continue in the race. McCain won big in the veteran rich region of the country.

No more modesty or superstitions: Barack Obama and McCain have no choice but to adopt the frontrunner label.

Let's see what hand the voters in Texas deal her. In the words of Kenny Rogers (hey, he's irrelevant -- surely he endorsed somebody!), she's got to know when to hold'em ... and when to run. (Or, not run in this case.)

Oh, and she should probably congratulate her competitor, since it's become newsworthy that she hasn't. Just saying. Congrats Barack and John!

What do you think of a John McCain/Barack Obama match up?

Photo: Ron Niebruegge

And Then There Were 5: Another Candidate Waves Bye-Bye

Madeline Holler — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:35:00 GMT

[UPDATE BELOW] Another candidate has thrown in his teddy bear bath towel and will withdraw from the rugrat election race.

He hasn't made it official yet, but advisers to the once very likely GOP nominee are confirming that former Massachussetts governor Mitt Romney will announce Thursday that he is ending his presidential election campaign. He's expected to make the announcement when he address conservatives at a convention Thursday afternoon.

Romney takes with him his five sons, loads of grandkids, his lovely wife and a much lighter personal fortune. Leading up to the Super Tuesday primaries and caucuses, he had spent more than $35 of his own money to keep his campaign afloat.

More details as we get them. In the meantime, Political Nanny will pack up his change of clothes and favorite playthings and prepare for another good-bye. We suppose Huckabee was correct Tuesday night when he said it's now a two-man race over on the GOP side (sorry, Ron Paul).

It's now John McCain's nomination to lose. With more room in the sandbox, the rest of them win!

[UPDATE] Romney told a shocked audience of conservatives his reasons for abandoning his presidential dreams. In summary, Iraq:

“in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.

“Barack and Hillary have made their intentions clear regarding Iraq and the war on terror. They would retreat and declare defeat,” said Romney.

“And the consequence of that would be devastating. It would mean attacks on America, launched from safe havens that make Afghanistan under the Taliban look like child’s play. About this, I have no doubt.”

Others, like Brian at DailyScanner, see it as a postponement of the Apocolypse.

What's your take? Good news? Bad news? If Mitt was your guy, who will you support now?

via Politico

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe: Super Tuesday Super Quiz

Madeline Holler — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 21:34:00 GMT

So who's it going to be? You have just about 24 hours, you citizens of Super Tuesday states. Haven't you made up your mind?

Political Nanny understands. We're all a little shell-shocked from the past seven years under Bush. We want to choose carefully. She's here to help.

Take these online quizzes and see if you get consistent results:

This one asks 17 policy questions and spits out a clear answer.

The ghosts of Kucinich and Giuliani (and the other dropouts) provide a haunting look at what could have been. Watch candidate rankings rise and fall after each question is answered.

Here, you get to pick a strategy and then rank the importance of the issue using a slidebar. It takes some work, but you get a result to take to the voting booth.

This one looks at individual rights, parents issues, and international relations. You can also take a quiz on your political philosophy. Should we plug in candidate statements and see who truly inherits the Reagan label?

Want to know which way your state is leaning for either party? Check out these maps.

Graphic: WTOC11

Who Loves You, Campaign Baby? (Rambo, Porn Stars and Writers, That's Who)

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:23:00 GMT

Running for president is not a popularity contest. Oh, wait, it is! And just like high school this competition hinges on the backing of other popular kids. This year's election has been a veritable Endorsement Bonanza. Everybody is getting in on it, no matter what their relevance levels, which for most, in Political Nanny's estimation, peaked somewhere between 1983-1989.

So for every Maya Angelou that steps up to stump for Hillary Clinton, there's a Toni Morrison who thinks you should vote for Barack Obama. Mike Huckabee's campaign took off after Chuck Norris promised to kick campaign butt. Now Hulk Hogan is throwing his weight around to encourage support for Obama. Rounding out the Aging Muscle-Man endorsements is Ric Flair, also for Huckabee, and Sylvester Stallone, a McCain man, naturally (this endorsement suspiciously coincided with the release of Stallone's latest Rambo movie).

This year's backers come in all shapes, sizes and professions. Here are a few more:

Vampirist Anne Rice and barrister-cum-crime-novelist John Grisham heart Clinton.

Porn star and writer of "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" Jenna Jameson would like to tell you how to vote like a porn star -- casting a ballot for Hillary Clinton. She has her reasons. Of course, Porn Stars are not a monolith. Savanna Samson wanted to toss her lot to Rudy Giuliani, but his campaign climaxed prematurely and made a huge mess. Equally deflated is King of Porn, Hustler's Larry Flynt, who made his sweet love for Dennis Kucinich well known. Now, all Flynt has left are a few good memories of what might have been.

There was, of course, the Grande Dame of endorsers -- Oprah for Obama. Here are some other celebrity endorsements (a couple of which are even 21st-Century relevant)

Kevin Bacon - John Edwards
Donnie and Marie Osmond - Mitt Romney (Political Nanny KNEW he'd have someone!)
Lance Armstrong - John Edwards
John Mayer - Ron Paul (that body of thought is a wonderland)
Jeff Gordon - Rudy Giuliani
Bo Derek - Rudy Giuliani (eh. 7.5)
50 Cent - Hillary Clinton (word?)
Adam Sandler - Rudy Giuliani
Martha Stewart - Hillary Clinton (you OK with that, Hillary?)
George Clooney - Barack Obama (double swoon)
Harry Belafonte - John Edwards (daylight come and he went home ...)
Wilford Brimley - John McCain (dinosaurs, unite!)
Scarlett Johansson - Barack Obama

You're relevant to Political Nanny no matter when you peaked. Whose endorsement are you endorsing? Whose endorsement do you find stunning?

Thanks to BuzzFeed

President Jesus' Co-Pilot

Madeline Holler — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:41:00 GMT

As if there weren't enough candidates to choose from, a political operative for Jesus Christ has announced His run for higher office and opened up the miracle worker's candidacy for vice presidential nominations. The bumper sticker may declare Jesus as YOUR co-pilot. But who, indeed, is His?

Stephen Heffner, a lapsed Catholic and former reporter, recently launched the website JesusIn2008.com. He asks that people weigh in on the Holy Candidate's platform and also propose a running mate. Heffner hopes this process will help voters when they go to the voting booth in November. A Georgetown University professor sees it another way:

From USA Today: "[the website] will let the secularists and non-believers get their ya-yas out because it'll be funny to see evangelicals and fundamentalists fume." Damn God-baiting secularists!

There are three rules for participating: you can't preach or behave rudely. And no miracles.

After all, if Jesus were to use miracles to solve the energy crisis or fund Social Security, strategic debate would be pointless, says Heffner.

Instead, Heffner wants participants in this online convention to think of Jesus not in terms of the personal savior, or, Political Nanny assumes, Mike Huckabee, rather:

Our candidate is Jesus the man, the revolutionary individual who comes to us through history as a model for ethical and moral human behavior – the exemplar whose first instinct in any situation was, simply, to do the right thing, according to the website.

Feel free to weigh in on platform issues like the Death Penalty (some commenters make the case that Jesus would oppose it -- take that W!), Community & Capitalism (others argue Jesus would have been something of a regulator -- what do you think of that, Dick Cheney?), Abortion (a discussion that's a little less dogmatic than Political Nanny expected, better alert Ralph Reed!) and Gay Marriage (Jesus wouldn't hold how a person is born against them -- feeling woozy, state Republican leaders?).

As far as VPs, so far there are nominations for Mike Huckabee (ready to revise the Constitution), Mitt Romney (since JC lacks critical administrative experience, argues one), Jerry Brown (can't figure that one out), Lucifer (a secularist's ya-yas?), Mohammad Yunus, founder of the Grameen Bank of Bangladesh (the microloans guy), and a couple of others Political Nanny, who confesses to being woefully untrained in theology, does not recognize.

Of course, there's the small matter of the requirement that American presidents be born on U.S. soil. Hmmm, Jesus might want to hook up with Arnold Schwarzenegger and work on that one. (Now THERE'S a possible running mate.)

Ahhh, the virtual political process works in mysterious ways.

Photo: passtheammo.com

Now Casting 'Election 2008: The Movie'

Madeline Holler — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:36:00 GMT

Eventually, the 2008 Election is going to make a great epic movie. Sure, we don't yet know the ending. And yeah, so far the story centers mostly on the campaign and surprise Iowa win for a bi-racial Senator, and a pretty decent tearful plot-twist, courtesy of the ambitious, conniving, first woman to do anything important in this country ... ever! There's also the tension building over a New Hampshire comeback for the aging Republican stalwart. Comic relief/hints of horror from the fundamentalist Christian with populist appeal threatening the hopes and dreams of a Morman businessman with daddy issues. There's the 9-11 Mayor, the stinking rich son of a South Carolina mill worker and a second-rate actor on a ubiquitous television franchise to squeeze in there too.

You couldn't write this stuff! But somebody will. Though it's a bit early to be drafting a script -- and hiring a script doctor to come in and punch up those debate scenes (let's be honest, Monday night was 10 minutes of rancor surrounded by 100 minutes of the usual) -- we can start thinking about other ways to get this project greenlighted. Help Political Nanny cast the lead roles:

Slate has made a solid case for Reese Witherspoon as Hillary Clinton in this very amusing video that cuts several Hillary moments with those of another Witherspoon role, Tracy Flick in the 1999 movie "Election." The anger at a lifelong ambition suddenly under threat. The singular focus on winning. The tears. (If it gets on your nerves the first time, go back to it later and watch it again. Eventually, you'll love it.)

How about the rest?

For obvious physical reasons, Mike Huckabee should be played by Kevin Spacey. We're sure Spacey's already brushing up on Scripture, guitar chords and radical weightloss techniques in anticipation of this film (think Spacey will go fat suit or real weight-gain for background scenes as a tax-hiking governor of Arkansas?). It's so the role he was born for, not that Bobby Darin disaster he got a little too into a few years ago.

Fred Thompson could play himself. And he could play himself playing himself on Law & Order and it could get a little Being John Malkovich only with Southern aphorisms and lots of scheduled naps.

Political Nanny feels like Mitt Romney could be played by Tom Cruise (in lifts), what with them both being Scientologists ... or Mormons ... or whatever. Same difference. If Cruise refuses the height-enhancing orthotics, his hair could land him the Edwards role, which leaves Romney open for ... suggestions? A young Charlton Heston?

Joe Biden's role would be too small for the talents of Alec Baldwin, but we'd like to see him do it anyway. The two come so easily unhinged that we feel, just like the real Biden, Baldwin will steal the few scenes he's actually in.

Only Tommy Lee Jones and a box of jawbreaker candy could do the role of John McCain any justice. Which leaves Robert Duvall to play Rudy Giuliani (mmmhmmm, good one, huh?! And we know Duvall would say yes!). But Chris Dodd? We'll have to have open casting for him unless you've got some ideas.

Barack Obama has said he'd like Denzel Washington to play him in the movies but thinks his ears make Will Smith a better fit. Fine, but Political Nanny likes any excuse to watch Denzel so he's got her vote.

Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, and Mike Gravel can be played by extras. After all, this film's got a budget.

And Dennis Kucinich. Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Now, keep an open mind on this one. Political Nanny sees Mike Myers channeling a little Austin Powers channeling the comeback role of a lifetime. Think it'll work? (Julianne Moore gets to be the hot Mrs.K!)

Political Nanny also hears Ralph Nader is thinking about getting in the race. Who's going to play him? Jim Carey? John Turturro? Alan Alda? The talented and versatile Fred Thompson? Fred's got time to rehearse and he'll be available since, well, he called it quits Tuesday and will only appear in the first 20 minutes of this politico-historical epic.

That leaves squeaky Ron Paul, sweet Bill Richardson and gasbag Chris Matthews, who would no doubt want to play himself. Any suggestions? We're looking for an Oscars sweep.

Photo: Wonkette.com

Primary's Baby: N.H. Girl Stalks the Candidates

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:47:00 GMT

You can tell a lot about a presidential candidate by the way s/he holds a baby. OK, not really. But we're going to deeply analyze it anyway. Why? Because it's fun, because it's naughty, because Political Nanny wishes SHE would have thought of doing what this forward-thinking and shameless contributor to Slate has done.

Darren Garnick, a New Hampshire resident, hauled his five-week-old daughter Dahlia to campaign events around his home state, handing her over to candidates and capturing the moment in a stillshot. The results? Fabulous! The slide show is at once a marvelous demonstration of parenting at its least protective and political coverage at its weakest. In other words, refreshing!

First up is Barack Obama, who winds up holding Dahlia on two different occasions -- the first time in a sweet (and completely competent) traditional infant cradle hold, the second time while Dahlia wears a "Black Power" bib at a rally. Let's look at the cradle hold: Obama is clearly a man who put in the hours with his own kids. He's got two, but they're young and there's not a lot of distance between daily baby-holding and this picture. (We need to keep that in mind when we look at the pics of some campaign trail parents whose own days of second-nature infant handling (the floppy necks!) are decades behind them.) At the rally, Garnick reports that Obama kissed Dahlia's forehead (melt) and then held her up for cheers.

Next up, Rudy Giuliani is stuck with the screeching girl in a fleece pumpkin costume. He looks like he's going to drop her, but he hangs on tight. He was at a disadvantage -- how do you securely snuggle with a squirmy winter vegetable? Let's not judge Rudy too harshly.

Then there's John McCain, who launches the beginning of a curious trend in the baby holds: he's circled his thumb and four fingers around one of Dahlia's legs. Political Nanny doesn't recall doing this with her babes. Perhaps it's an older generation male thing? Because Edwards, Kucinich and (look closely) Romney are doing it too. Political Nanny is not saying it's harmful, just curious. Did they learn this in a Kissing the Baby workshop at Let's Play President summer camp?

What you really want to know, though, is something about Hillary Clinton's baby snuggling chops. Well, hold your "cold-heart" comments, she does just fine with Dahlia, who gazes right into the mother-of-one's eyes. Sure, there's a bit of stiffness in the hold, but Hillary's kid is pushing 30. Maybe it's been awhile. Please note, however, that Hillary is doing that protective palm-around-the-shoulders upper hand thing, which Political Nanny always appreciates when strangers hold her little ones.

In addition to the leg-grip, Mitt Romney does the fingers-around-the-neck upright baby display so competently, he'd make any OB/Gyn proud (except maybe Ron Paul). Garnick notes that the picture, which includes Romney's wife, looks like the New Hampshire father is giving up Dahlia for adoption to a rich white couple. Agreed!

Finally, we see Huckabee and Chuck Norris in a horizontal split-screen shot. Huckabee's doing the hands-under-armpits-with-dangling legs hold (baby facing outward), while Chuck Norris has turned his arm into a seat, allowing Dahlia to rest against his chest. He lays a hand -- it's a registered weapon! -- protectively against her chest. Well done, Chuck, well done!

Garnick didn't get Dahlia into the arms of Fred Thompson (who didn't do much in New Hampshire) or Duncan Hunter (what a relief!) or Ron Paul (coulda shown Mitt a thing or two). And he admits Mike Gravel freaks him out, so he didn't stand a chance. But Political Nanny is grateful for the slideshow and its insight. How will the candidates handle Iraq? Who cares! How are they going to cuddle the nation?

Photo: Slate.com

Candidates Play Musical Chairs

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:22:00 GMT

When election officials pressed pause and the candidates scrambled to their seats last night, the line-up in that round of musical chairs reshuffled. Hillary Clinton moved from third in Iowa to first in New Hampshire. Edwards dropped from second last week to third last night. Obama's second-place finish in the primary was a letdown after his first-place finish in the caucuses. (See above for best disappointing-returns photo ever. Is that couple real or what?! Ahem, back to the results.) So far in this round for Democrats, no one will follow Chris Dodd and Joe Biden in leaving the game. A good thing.

Over with the GOP, only Mitt Romney landed in the same chair he started out in, while John McCain scrambled to get the empty first-place one. Huckabee settled for third, which sets him back a bit since his first-round win last week in Iowa.

The other candidates -- Bill Richardson, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Ron Paul, all the rest -- continue to try to connect with voters, register with the media and gather support for better finishes.

What does it all mean? Did the tears work for Hillary? (Shame on you, NYTimes and Maureen Dowd for today's column headlined "Can Hillary Clinton Cry Her Way Back Into the White House?") Or was it the case she laid out in the debate two nights before? Are those truly independent voters buying the maverick message of John McCain? Was the media's infatuation with Barack Obama not enough to entice New Hampshire voters to cast ballots for him? Or was it the weather? The lack of college students? The speeches? The promises?

New Hampshire is another small state with a big early influence on the elections. So Political Nanny is glad to see the shake-up. She'd like all the candidates to stay in the race for another month. There's more to be said of the bigger ideas to the broader audiences. Iowa and New Hampshire were practice rounds. On Jan. 15, Hillary Clinton runs against herself and the "uncommitted" votes protesting the fact that their favorite candidates are not on the ballot. After that, the Nevada caucuses and South Carolina primarie on Jan. 19. Ten days after that, big Florida. We're all waiting anxiously for the music to pause, again and again and again. Because there's nothing quite as exhilirating as play musical chairs with closely matched peers.

Photo: NYTimes.com

Sensory Overload During N.H. Primary

Madeline Holler — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 21:07:00 GMT

Seriously, Political Nanny is just waiting for a nationwide media meltdown. Reporters laying face down on the ground. Photographers throwing their equipment across the room. Candidates pounding their fists and bawling like babies. (That may have begun to happen already.) There's just so much going on, so much to say, so many ways to look at today's primaries in New Hampshire.

Let's start with the crying:

Hillary Clinton got emotional yesterday when she was talking to a small group of voters in New Hampshire. She teared up. She visibly suppressed a lump in her throat. And she set off a fit of commentary on what the tears meant, whether they were geniune, were they a part of a new post-Iowa campaign makeover, and why did she wait so long.

Today, Fox News reported that uber campaign strategists James Carville and Paul Begala would be riding in to rescue Hillary campaign. Which must have given die-hard Clintonistas a bit of relief. However, were now reading that, no, no, no, it's not true. You're kidding. Fox got it wrong? But there are likely changes coming for her campaign staff. Political Nanny has been waiting for that announcement for a couple of weeks. Oh, and in case you'd like to put Political Nanny on retainer, she'll give you her first nugget of advice for free, Hillary, release Chelsea from the grips of your protective motherly instincts! Let her talk! Let her be interviewed! Help her help you!

Free ride:

The other Clinton, Bill, accuses the media of giving Barack Obama and John Edwards a free ride. Naturally, the media doesn't believe it. Let's be honest, though. Obama is simply interesting, which doesn't necessarily make him a better president, just a better news story. So, while Political Nanny wouldn't call it a free ride, she would call the media's handling of Obama a comfortable ride at a nice price.

Now, Political Nanny would be remiss in not sharing the fact that (1) when doing Google searches for pictures of her candidates, it's much easier to find authoritative yet friendly, strong yet sensitive, handsome yet intelligent pictures of John Edwards and Barack Obama than it is of Hillary Clinton. Look at this picture on CNN.com today of Obama. Why not just Photoshop in a halo? They've got pixie dust flaking off his head! Just saying ...

Also, we know a lot about Obama's good work -- South Side Chicago, the international travel, fun with hard drugs, that kind of thing. And for Edwards? Well, he reminds us of his life's story every time he gets to a mic. (And it's a good story, don't get me wrong!). But for Hillary? We get to hear about her cheating husband. I mean, for god's sake, she's the first woman to really have a shot at becoming president of the U.S. She's got more of a backstory than woman done wrong, no?

Whew! That nearly triggered a Political Nanny meltdown! Back to New Hampshire ...

What hinges on McCain's outcome:

John McCain needs to do very well in New Hampshire to keep his campaing going. What's amazing is that he actually has a chance. He's been getting more support -- Iowa notwithstanding -- and the campaign we were all willing to write off over the summer has survived (but isn't survival what McCain is all about?). Political Nanny wants to see McCain stay in the race. He adds to the tension among the GOP candidates, which reminds the rest of them to behave. Plus, he's got a nasty streak that's quite entertaining.

Oh, man, Mitt needs to rally!:

Last week in Iowa, Huckabee stole the thunder that was a Mitt Romney win and eventual nomination. And now, everybody's looking at McCain. What does this mean for Mitt? A second-place finish, while not the worst possible outcome, it's also not what he expected. And for the GOP in N.H., second-place is the new also-ran, since Huckabee hasn't really bothered much with a campaign there.

Running low on ballots:

Perhaps the most aggravating news that comes out today is that some counties in the state are running low on ballots. My goodness, aren't we just screwing up elections year after year in the United States? Here's hoping the ballot supply lasts until the last voter goes home. If not -- if this primary gets contested or yields inconclusive results by tomorrow morning -- well, that's when Political Nanny promises you SHE'LL throw a tantrum.

So amidst the crying, the surging, the polling, the voting, try to stay calm, dear candidates. Try to stay calm.

Break Out the Diapers: Candidates Demand a Change!

Madeline Holler — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 04:35:00 GMT

Candidates from both parties are beginning to sound like a room full of neglected toddlers wearing sagging, saturated diapers. "Change, change, change," they all yelled, screamed, demanded, whimpered during a weekend of debates in New Hampshire. "I'm here for change!"

Well, hold on a second, Mitt and Hillary and John McCain. Just last week you were bragging about your experience and training and ability to, if elected, go on the potty starting from Day 1!

But Political Nanny understands. You're all wetting your pants after the Iowa Caucus when the new kids Barack and Mike got most of the attention and a whole lot of love -- love and support you had hoped (expected?) would mostly be yours. Since everyone is reading these not-totally-surprising-but-still-very-notable wins as Americans wanting change, well, that's what you'll all give them: change!

In Saturday's Facebook/ABC News back-to-back Republican and Democratic debates and again on Fox for Republicans on Sunday, the talk was about change. Change in immigration. Change in healthcare. Change in Iraq. Change in foreign relations. Change in the status quo. Change in monetary systems. Change in leadership style. Change in change.

The Republicans:

On Saturday, Fred Thompson sounded like he was BSing, a lot, let Political Nanny just get that out there. He seemed caught off-guard. John McCain was ready with a zinger for Romney at nearly every turn. Giuliani got in a couple as well. It was kind of a Mitt Romney pile on. Interestingly, Mike Huckabee sat back a bit. Answered his questions. Stayed out of the fray. Safe.

Side note: perhaps Political Nanny is starting to identify with her captors, and some kind of mainstream media Stockholm Syndrome is clouding her judgment, but Saturday's debates were the best so far for both parties. There was no schtick to upstage the candidates (like videos or planned questions from the audience), and Charlie Gibson allowed the candidates to talk and ignore the clock a bunch.

Even better, Gibson followed up on a couple of points Political Nanny has been curious about: He pressed Republican candidates, who say tax credits are the way to get more Americans insured, by crunching the numbers -- basically laying out how $15,000 in annual premiums (which is essentially what employers are paying for a family) can't possibly be written off the taxes of families with incomes of $60,000. They would only be able to write off something like $3,000. (This is the same problem I see with health savings accounts (Guiliani's healthcare strategy). How do you build up enough to cover ongoing health checkups -- particularly for families who have young kids (well baby checkups must add up to a fortune) and need those expensive immunizations and still have something left over for a catastrophe or, say, minor surgery?)

So Charlie crunched the numbers for them, which no one responded directly to, but that's about when John McCain jumped in and said the trick is to control inflation, so that healthcare won't cost $15,000. Riiiiiight. Huckabee said we have a "disease care system," and not a health care system and wanted to shift to prevention and, of course, control costs (yet have it remain a free-market enterprise. Hmmm.). Romney wants the states to handle it how their governors see fit. But he wants to give support (and money?) at the federal level.

The Democrats:

There was some fun sparring to watch, especially as Barack Obama and John Edwards hooked harms and took on Hillary Clinton, later pointed about by moderator Gibson and getting a laugh from Clinton, "you noticed?" Overall, Clinton wanted voters to believe that she doesn't have to convince them that she's a candidate for change (see? "change!"), since she's been about change her whole life. Then she cited a few things that she's changed, particularly getting healthcare for children in Arkansas. And said, as the first woman president, she would quite distinctly embody change.

Edwards wanted us to know that he has lived through the struggles facing American families and that his desire for change is personal. And possible: he claims he has never taken money from lobbyists or PACs and that he wouldn't allow lobbyists in the White House and, therefore, would be beholden to no one but Americans.

Obama defended his ability to inspire as an important catalyst for change, that inspiring Americans builds momentum and support for change.

Bill Richardson said, "I love change," after also defending experience, a notion that has taken a beating as of late. "What's wrong with experience? We want to change this country, but we have to know how to do it." (Political Nanny detected a defense on behalf of Hillary. So kind.)

Speaking of Richardson, Political Nanny would like to hug him. He provided just the right kind of levity the debate needed to ease the tension and pull the rhetoric back a little to remind everyone they were talking about real issues, actual events, and American lives.

Next up ... the New Hampshire Primaries tomorrow (Tuesday, Jan. 8).

Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe: Iowans Couldn't Decide for Dems Either

Madeline Holler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 19:18:00 GMT

Well, Republicans, you have a clear winner in Iowa. Democrats? Um, not so much. Sure, it's been called for Obama. But look at the numbers -- the difference isn't so great.

So if you were counting on Iowans to pare down the crowd, unless you were waiting for them to hand you Chris Dodd (which they didn't), you still have to make up your own mind. (And isn't that how it should be? Are you getting impatient for your state's primaries?)

For those who are still undecided and unwilling to follow a tiny percent of Iowans in how you cast you vote, Political Nanny has found another candidate quiz, this one from Minnesota Public Radio. Here, you pick issues that are important to you and how much. Hey, it's something to do on a slow, cold Friday at work.

Iowans Play Favorites. Political Nanny Still Doesn't

Madeline Holler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 05:34:00 GMT

Well, that was that. The candidates stepped out and tested the cold, cold waters of voter approval last night in Iowa. Political Nanny stood at the side, waiting with towels and hot drinks and, for some, a soft hankie to cry in.

Her boys Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama swam confidently to shore, winning their parties' races by about 9 percentage points each. Obama won most of the female vote and most of the younger voters' support too.

Her tough fighters Hillary Clinton and John Edwards, and recently challenged Mitt Romney, flapped their arms and gasped and fought their way to finish in respectable positions and not terribly far behind the winners. Each of them vowed to continue fighting. Each of them is ready to regroup and start again. In five days. Whew!

But quite a few of Political Nanny's babes sank to the bottom. Fred Thompson, John McCain, and Ron Paul made it to the double digits. Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani and Bill Richardson, and especially Duncan Hunter and Chris Dodd, wellllll, they did their best. But it wasn't great. In fact, Political Nanny will spend the day packing up Chris's bag, gathering his toys, taking down his pretty pictures, and telling him good-bye. He has decided he won't be needing Political Nanny's care any longer. His little friend Joe Biden -- God, remember how hard it was to tell them apart? -- is leaving Political Nanny too.

Down to 13 monkeys jumping on the bed. Time to pack for New Hampshire.

Photo: MSNBC.com

Election Milestone: Candidates Take First Steps In Iowa (Quick, Get the Camera!)

Madeline Holler — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:38:00 GMT

Political Nanny is sitting on pins and needles, at once excited, deliriously proud of and terrified for her candidates. Today, the 15 reach such an important milestone: the Iowa caucuses. They look so grown up! It seems like just yesterday ...! It's all happening so fast (well, not really.)

As the unruly group of them toddles around on stages, grabbing at microphones, saying "cheese" for the camera, and slobbering all over Iowans one last time in hopes of charming each and every one of these Midwesterners to go out tonight and be counted at the caucus (and chances are, they won't), Political Nanny is watching and trying to remember Iowa is not the final word. It's the first, only the first. We caregivers -- those of us experienced with cadidate-children -- know that the early walker in Iowa will not acurrately predict who gets to sit in the White House highchair. (Remember little guy Dick Gephardt?) See, there's time to catch up.

In the meantime, Political Nanny will be watching her babes today as they smile and shake hands and talk pretty and learn their numbers (polls and precinct percentages are the new flashcards!). She'll be watching tonight as the reports come in. Tomorrow, she'll usher the remaining ones over to New Hampshire for primaries there next week.

Those little buggers never could sit still.

Naughty Chair: Mike The Scab on Leno

Madeline Holler — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:17:00 GMT

Political Nanny does not approve of Mike Huckabee's decision to appear on Jay Leno last night. He essentially crossed a picket line to sit and chat with the NBC host. That said, he's his usual funny self -- though a bit too polished, he sounds rehearsed. Still, despite Political Nanny's growing disapproval of her eager little guy Mike, for a presidential candidate he's pretty fun to watch (for the first part of the interview, go here).

But fun and funny doesn't get it. For defying the writer's strike and undermining the WGA, that's two minutes in the Naughty Chair, Mike (and enough time to come up with some fresh material).

Candidates, Political Nanny Loves You. Now Change!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Over the past three months, Political Nanny has grown to love her lot of disagreeable, argumentative, name-calling, cackling, power-praying little presidential candidates. They're approaching the first of many back-to-back primary election milestones -- only three days until Iowa! -- but have already blossomed into tough and sturdy and, how shall we put this, flexible campaigners.

But could they be better? Oh, couldn't we all. In the spirit of starting anew, Political Nanny has made some resolutions for the campaigning men and woman of 2008.

Over at the Democrats' favorite playground ...

Barack Obama: resolve to inspire (again … and, alone!). What happened to the guy who swept us all off of our feet nearly four years ago? This sparkling source of hope has gotten dull from so much positioning and polling and over-wrought handling. Get back to the basics -- make change feel possible! Make it feel inevitable! If the old caucusing biddies in Iowa (or New Hampshire or South Carolina) weren’t going to vote for you months ago, they’re not going to vote for you now. Indeed, one person can change the world. We just don't want Oprah to think it's her!

Hillary Clinton: tear down that wall! This distance you keep from the voting public reminds us of a certain guy president and no, we’re especially not talking about your husband! So let us in. Let us ask questions – any question! Not pre-approved ones! Trust us! We’ll do the right thing! Trust yourself! You've got the answers!

Joe Biden: Keep on keeping on. You know everything, you really do. You probably even know you don’t have a chance to win. But the candidates need you – America needs you. In government and in this campaign. You turn meta-answers into concrete plans, Joe. You say what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.

Chris Dodd: Be (even more) like Joe. With two of you, oh, how the front-runners won’t get away with pandering to the polls!

John Edwards: John, sweetheart, listen. You have got to expand your message to the middle and upper middle class (who look more like the lower- and middle-class you're talking about, everyday). Here's the deal: the mortgage industry is handing you talking points for these people who, to be honest, you might sorta be alienanting with your anti-corporate talk (you see, that’s where they work!). But with housing, ohhhhh, housing. Just bring up housing, foreclosures, bubbles, all of it -- and they’re listening. They're listening to you.

Bill Richardson: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the vice presidential stars.

Dennis Kucinich: Don’t go changing to try to please Political Nanny. She loves you just the way you are.

Mike Gravel: Come here and give Political Nanny a hug, you silly guy.

Now back at Camp GOP ...

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. So much to love. So much to loathe. Political Nanny would like you to be your own guy. She knows that Republicans often get bullied by big scary Christians who claim to be friends. But would real friends ask you to be someone you’re not?

John McCain: Resolve to stay tough. And be strong. You keep hope alive for conservatives who don't necessarily think the church and state are one and the same. Oh, and next time a supporter mentions The Bitch, show some sac, dear John, and don't be so quick to laugh.

Mike Huckabee: Michael! That's enough! You, my boy, are a man of faith. But you must also resolve to be a man of respect. If all you have to offer Americans are platitudes and religious references, please reconsider your leadership goals and run for president of the Southern Baptists. Because Political Nanny likes her America inclusive, cohesive and as plural as it can get.

Fred Thompson: Sit down, honey, let’s talk. Political Nanny thinks you don’t actually want to run for president. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. No shame in “spending time with the family.” So, whenever you’re ready to call it quits, know that millions of others are ready for it too.

Duncan Hunter: Still more are ready to see you go, Duncan. So, Political Nanny would like to see even less of you in the new year, young man. You can use the extra down time for painting murals on your very special wall.

Mitt Romney: Political Nanny thinks you’re a good boy, Mitt, she really does. But you want your buddies to like you so much that you’ve changed your mind, mainly by closing it. You say such damaging things to millions of families in the U.S. and completely dismiss millions of others. Political Nanny wants to see you be the truest, most honest version of yourself in 2008.

Ron Paul: You're doing something right, Ron Paul. Look at all those people giving you money! But that doesn't make you perfect, not by any means. In the new year, Political Nanny would like you to work on (1) living in reality, (2) increasing your dosage of paranoia-tempering thorazine and (3) smiling.

And last but not least, a New Year's resolution for her GOP debate interloper and possible candidate (please, please, please) Alan Keyes: Just. Do. It.

Happy New Year, kids! And Happy New Year, voters! Let's resolve to get together everyday for a little election downtime with Political Nanny!

Political Nanny Drops Her Cynicism for One Candidate's Christmas Message

Madeline Holler — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 17:24:00 GMT

Political Nanny has spent a bit of time watching all her candidates' Christmas ads, the craven, the wee bit cringe-y, the creepy. She's got a cynical eye, your Political Nanny, always noting signs of pandering, never allowing her heartstrings to be tugged, knowing experts have manipulated every nano-second of the campaign ad "viewing experience" to maximize her affection for each.

So imagine Political Nanny's surprise when she found herself tearing up and sinking into an emotionally charged holiday message from one of her more low-key guys. Little Freddy -- lazy, laid-back, low-energy Fred Thompson -- brought her this little craft project, a snowflake that drips with glitter glue and glass beads and what she hopes is genuine deference to real people acting on the orders of a failed leader and his advisors.

Political Nanny's opinions of the military and the war in Iraq are complicated. And using armed forces and separated families and young people dying to make her like a candidate a little bit more should raise the hair on her neck and get her wagging a finger and setting up the Naughty Chair. But this doesn't. Political Nanny's fine with it. Maybe it's the noticeable lack of Jesus talk (which she prefers). Or the clever way he avoids campaign issues (which is so Fred). Or the general feelings of melancholy and a weakened resolve to push away sentimentality that she gets this time of year. Who knows. But Political Nanny can appreciate Fred Thompson's Christmas Card more than most.

Speaking of Sunday School Teachers ...

Madeline Holler — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:40:00 GMT

In case the U.S. has strayed too far from the meaning of Christmas, what with all of our respect and honoring of all the citizens, regardless of religion, Mike Huckabee, God's favorite candidate, has spent some of his precious (but increasing) piles of campaign money on this season's greeting for Iowans (well, certain Iowans.)

Nanny Cam: Sorry 'Bout That Satan Thing, Says Mike

Madeline Holler — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 00:37:00 GMT

Mike Huckabee apologized to Mitt Romney today for an explosive quote in an upcoming New York Times Magazine feature on him. In it, according to early reports, he says Mormons think Jesus is Satan. Which has outraged everyone, even non-believers, even Political Nanny. (She can't wait to read the article!)

But today, after the GOP debates (where Romney came across, finally, as very presidential) and in front of a small group of gathered Iowans, Huckabee apologized. Kind of. In that blame the reporter kind of way. In that talk-around-the-issue way. He says he didn't mean it. In his jokey, self-depracating and vague way. Something Political Nanny used to love about him, but now makes her feel dirty.

Thank you, Mike, sit down.

(From Atlantic PoliBlog)

Two Extra Cookies: Whoever Made This Video

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:06:00 GMT

Thank you to DailyKos for pointing us to this video. It comes at a time when Political Nanny has been feeling particularly let down by her little funny guy Mike.

While Political Nanny would like to keep a certain level of decorum among her candidates, she’s not above making fun of them when they’re out of the room. Quick. Mike’s on the potty.

Two Minutes in the Naughty Chair: Huckabee … Because He Stopped Being Fun

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:55:00 GMT

Back when he was just a formerly obese, bass-playing blip on the election radar, it was easy for Political Nanny to like Mike Huckabee. Not for president of course, but for a bit of levity in this way to serious, overly polished, super-handled stage-show of the elections. He was sunny in a crowd of frightened faces. He was at ease despite the other candidates’ podium-pounding defensiveness and anger.

Overnight he got popular. Now he’s a contender. And we’re finding out stuff about him that leaves Political Nanny feeling a tad icky toward her funny boy Mike.

Flashback to the ‘90s, which were apparently his heady days of prejudice and ignorance:

He blamed disastrous weather, school rampages and other unpredictable destruction on "the winds of spiritual change in a nation that has forgotten its God." (Thanks to Pandagon for the link)

In explaining why he wanted to be governor of Arkansas, a state we can only presume promises to look after citizens of all creeds:

"I didn't get into politics because I thought government had a better answer. I got into politics because I knew government didn't have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives."

We’ve all heard how he wanted to quarantine AIDS sufferers and refuses to renounce these past opinions.

Or offer an apology for releasing a rapist, who went on to attack again.

The latest and most alarming of all this is his or his faith’s (one and the same?) regard for women and their roles in family life (Thanks to DailyKos for this):

In August of 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full page USA Today Ad which declared: "I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention." What was in the family statement from the SBC? "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."

The ad Huckabee signed specifically said of the SBC family statement: "You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband's sacrificial leadership."

But it's not just the missteps of earlier times. Let's flash-forward to yesterday:

He’s attacking Romney’s religion in just the language one might use to address uninformed Evangelicals. Going after someone’s particular brand of religion – um, as a Southern Baptist minister! -- is not only desperate, it’s really, really ugly. Even Political Nanny recognizes this and she’s already sick of candidates on both sides who pander hard to the creationist, anti-abortion, “traditional marriage” faithful.

Political Nanny would prefer that Mike H. sit in the Naughty Chair all afternoon, because he has a lot to think about. But he has to get to the final GOP debate before the Iowa caucuses. She’s hoping to see him squirm.

It's Hard to Share Friends

Madeline Holler — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 20:43:00 GMT

Political Nanny has seen friendships melt down over cookies, games of Candyland and birthday parties that include some but not all of our classmates. So she wonders whether friendships ever break up over political endorsements? Political Nanny is sensing a little tension between her candidates' friends' friends.

Let's back up for a second:

Among Oprah's regulars, both in appearance and casual reference on her show, is Maya Angelou. Sometimes we see "Maya" (no need for a last name, just like "Oprah") talking about her poems and books. Sometimes we peek inside her home, curl up on her sofa and listen to the two of them talk about whatever is on Oprah's mind. The two women are close, it's clear, and Oprah has a deep respect and reverence for the poet, it's obvious.

So Political Nanny was a little surprised to learn that one of Oprah's newer faves, Barack Obama, did not have the support of Angelou. However, his chief rival for now, Hillary Clinton, whom Oprah subtley criticized during the past few days of stumping for Obama, does.

Thanks to the LA Times for this link to a radio spot of Maya Angelou calling Hillary "My Girl." She refers to a long history of experience and, Political Nanny detects, subtely criticizes Obama. Sure, a 60-second South Carolina radio spot is no packed stadium of frenzied fans. But it's another sign of (1) the embarassment of riches facing registered Democrats and (2) the narrow differences of so many of the party's promising candidates.

Hopefully, our friends' new friends can continue to get along with each other and treat each of Political Nanny's candidates with kindness and respect -- despite their differing opinions. Political Nanny doesn't think a group playdate wouldn't be so bad, though things could easily fall apart if Mike Huckabee's best friend Chuck shows up.

Settle Down and Use Your Indoor Voice

Madeline Holler — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:02:00 GMT

Tantrums get attention. So do screaming, sobbing and hand gestures that proclaim, "he did it first!" Those sorts of actions don't give caregivers and innocent bystanders the warm-fuzzies. Instead, they make everyone in the room shake their heads, utter lame excuses and leave.

So it goes with politicians who move into the realm of speech-stump meltdowns. We all watch while candidates go after each other -- both overtly and in coded messages. But it's hardly endearing. Voters say they don't like it when candidates turn negative, such as when debate topics devolve into name-calling and verbal rock-throwing. So the candidate who appears to rise above this childish behavior -- speaking with an indoor voice in campaign ads, using their words during debates -- may be doing themselves a favor in the long run in terms of getting voters' respect and support.

Who seems to be turning the other cheek, pasting on a happy smile and delivering a positive, plan-studded message the most? Which of Political Nanny's charges appears to be explaining positions more than tearing down opponents? According to this New York Times/CBS News poll it is the once-inevitable-and-now-fighting-like-the-rest candidate, Hillary Clinton. Of the registered Democratic primary voters polled, seven out of 10 think Clinton is running a positive campaign. Four out of ten think the opposite.

(Sidenote: Political Nanny thinks this is great. Because she has been standing by for years with her shovel, ready to bury that all too prevalent sentiment that strong, argumentative women are being shrill and/or bitchy.)

Back to the poll:

Six in 10 Democrats said Barack Obama used his words to explain, not attack. But a quarter thought he has been going the 2-year-old route and throwing political fits to get his way.

And bad news for John Edwards, if perceived attacks don’t turn into votes. Because 45 percent said he spent more time explaining his positions (that’s fewer than half!) and 29 percent said he has spent more time speaking negatively. Political Nanny finds this surprising, since she feels like she has a better understanding of John Edwards' positions and his plans for the country under his leadership. Though he has seemed a little negative lately.

For Republicans, 53 percent said Mike Huckabee has been explaining more and 9 percent said he has been attacking more. Apparently the rest of those polled had no opinion. Wha …? Republicans, it's OK to talk about your feelings! You're talking to a pollster, you're safe.

As for Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney, more than half of the Republicans polled said both spent more time explaining than attacking (and yes, this poll was after the YouTube/CNN "sanctuary mansion/sanctuary city" debate). Four in 10 said John McCain and Fred Thompson did more explaining. Again, many expressed no opinion.

More results from this poll of 1,133 registered primary voters will be posted later tonight and tomorrow morning here.

Makeup and Fashion Are Key to Winning Iowa

Madeline Holler — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 05:00:00 GMT

Stumped by what to get your favorite presidential candidate for Christmas? Just in time for the Iowa caucuses comes this interactive lesson in how to attract delegates (and get them to come back for more!):

The LeapPad Election Perfection!

From the Manufacturer: With this multi-subject interactive Bratz Election Perfection book and cartridge, Bratz fans can help Sasha (or Mitt, Hillary, the Mikes or the Johns) run for school (or American) president while using essential 3rd grade skills … Superstylin' Sasha™ is running for school president and with the help of her friends Yasmin™, Cloe™ and Jade™, she's sure to win... or is she? Join the girls as they mix their own makeup, design the best fashions, study up on women in leadership and go on a shopping trip — all to help Sasha win the election! (See, presidential politics is fun! Like, mall makeup counter fun!)

It’s only available until Dec. 31 or while supplies last. Political Nanny will take 16!

Oh, plus two extra. Her own young girls may some day want to know how they, too, can be chosen by their peers and become respected leaders. Silly! It's all about skilled eye-shadow application and a head full of stunning highlights!

The website says its appropriate for ages 6 years to 8 months [sic]. Because it’s never too early to start teaching girls about leadership, integrity and the poll-boosting factor of platform boots and a micro-mini (maybe something to think about, John McCain?).

This discontinued winner’s playbook is $3.90, marked down from $12.99 – a steal! Compare that to the price of primetime advertisement in the Quad-Cities market.

Now, grab your eyelash curlers and let's challenge some frontrunners!