Political Nanny : New Hampshire

Now Casting 'Election 2008: The Movie'

Madeline Holler — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:36:00 GMT

Eventually, the 2008 Election is going to make a great epic movie. Sure, we don't yet know the ending. And yeah, so far the story centers mostly on the campaign and surprise Iowa win for a bi-racial Senator, and a pretty decent tearful plot-twist, courtesy of the ambitious, conniving, first woman to do anything important in this country ... ever! There's also the tension building over a New Hampshire comeback for the aging Republican stalwart. Comic relief/hints of horror from the fundamentalist Christian with populist appeal threatening the hopes and dreams of a Morman businessman with daddy issues. There's the 9-11 Mayor, the stinking rich son of a South Carolina mill worker and a second-rate actor on a ubiquitous television franchise to squeeze in there too.

You couldn't write this stuff! But somebody will. Though it's a bit early to be drafting a script -- and hiring a script doctor to come in and punch up those debate scenes (let's be honest, Monday night was 10 minutes of rancor surrounded by 100 minutes of the usual) -- we can start thinking about other ways to get this project greenlighted. Help Political Nanny cast the lead roles:

Slate has made a solid case for Reese Witherspoon as Hillary Clinton in this very amusing video that cuts several Hillary moments with those of another Witherspoon role, Tracy Flick in the 1999 movie "Election." The anger at a lifelong ambition suddenly under threat. The singular focus on winning. The tears. (If it gets on your nerves the first time, go back to it later and watch it again. Eventually, you'll love it.)

How about the rest?

For obvious physical reasons, Mike Huckabee should be played by Kevin Spacey. We're sure Spacey's already brushing up on Scripture, guitar chords and radical weightloss techniques in anticipation of this film (think Spacey will go fat suit or real weight-gain for background scenes as a tax-hiking governor of Arkansas?). It's so the role he was born for, not that Bobby Darin disaster he got a little too into a few years ago.

Fred Thompson could play himself. And he could play himself playing himself on Law & Order and it could get a little Being John Malkovich only with Southern aphorisms and lots of scheduled naps.

Political Nanny feels like Mitt Romney could be played by Tom Cruise (in lifts), what with them both being Scientologists ... or Mormons ... or whatever. Same difference. If Cruise refuses the height-enhancing orthotics, his hair could land him the Edwards role, which leaves Romney open for ... suggestions? A young Charlton Heston?

Joe Biden's role would be too small for the talents of Alec Baldwin, but we'd like to see him do it anyway. The two come so easily unhinged that we feel, just like the real Biden, Baldwin will steal the few scenes he's actually in.

Only Tommy Lee Jones and a box of jawbreaker candy could do the role of John McCain any justice. Which leaves Robert Duvall to play Rudy Giuliani (mmmhmmm, good one, huh?! And we know Duvall would say yes!). But Chris Dodd? We'll have to have open casting for him unless you've got some ideas.

Barack Obama has said he'd like Denzel Washington to play him in the movies but thinks his ears make Will Smith a better fit. Fine, but Political Nanny likes any excuse to watch Denzel so he's got her vote.

Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, and Mike Gravel can be played by extras. After all, this film's got a budget.

And Dennis Kucinich. Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Now, keep an open mind on this one. Political Nanny sees Mike Myers channeling a little Austin Powers channeling the comeback role of a lifetime. Think it'll work? (Julianne Moore gets to be the hot Mrs.K!)

Political Nanny also hears Ralph Nader is thinking about getting in the race. Who's going to play him? Jim Carey? John Turturro? Alan Alda? The talented and versatile Fred Thompson? Fred's got time to rehearse and he'll be available since, well, he called it quits Tuesday and will only appear in the first 20 minutes of this politico-historical epic.

That leaves squeaky Ron Paul, sweet Bill Richardson and gasbag Chris Matthews, who would no doubt want to play himself. Any suggestions? We're looking for an Oscars sweep.

Photo: Wonkette.com

Candidates' Cribs: Their Digs, Pre-White House

Madeline Holler — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:10:00 GMT

Readers, rest assured. America's housing market meltdown won't leave any of the candidates without a very, very pleasant roof over their heads. But you're kind for caring. How about we take a peek at those roofs and do a little real estate market analysis, you know, on behalf of those candidates who don't manage the upgrade to something bigger and whiter.

Mother Jones was kind enough to assemble a photo album of many of the top candidates' domiciles and CNBC ran the numbers.

John Edwards, that son of a mill worker, lives in the most expensive house of any of the candidates. His rambling $6 million compound, which he purchased in 2007, has risen in value over 4 percent. Think he went the exotic loan route? Incidentally, the average home value in his North Carolina county is $365,000. He's defintely on the other side of the tracks . And when this Chapel Hill estate won't suffice, he's got his $1.08 million beach home.

Rudy Giuliani lives in a $5.25 million nine-room co-op in Manhattan's Upper East Side, by far the best of all the candidate's cribs, in Political Nanny's opinion. The Manhattan housing market has been quite good to him -- the median price of a Manhattan apartment has risen 14 percent since moving day a few years ago. The average cost of a Manhattan apartment is $1.5 million, which, in local money, is kind of slummy, right?

Next up, John McCain's $3 million Phoenix condo (which, according to MoJo, is actually two condos combined into one). We all know the market in Arizona's cities is tanking. The average home price in Phoenix is $428,000, down 1.8 percent in the last nine months. Now, from the outside, his condo looks like a hospital. But for beauty, he can always go to his $1.1 million 6-acre ranch in Sedona.

A tie between Hillary Clinton's Westchester, N.Y., home price and the home Mitt Romney has in Belmont, Mass. There are others. These houses cost the candidates $1.7 million. Clinton has a slight edge in that her neighborhood's prices are down just 2.8 percent, while the Romney's are watching a 9 percent decrease around them. For the Clintons, the average price in the area is $1.13 million. For Mitt and family, the median home price in Belmont is $680,000. (MoJo pictures his $3 million New Hampshire house on a lake, which should not be confused with his $5.5 million main residence, a former ski resort in Park City, Utah. Yow!)

Barack Obama bought his almost-South-Side Chicago house -- a beauty -- for $1.65 million in 2005 (the height of the market, what was he thinking?!). The average value of a home in his area is $310,315. Overall, prices are up 1 percent, so, he's doing OK and won't likely need to take advantage of Hillary's mortgage bailout plans.

Missing from the market analysis: the stats on Fred Thompson's McClean, Va., home, which set the Thompsons back $3.3 million. With prices dropping in the Northeast, though, we'd hate to see him get upside down on his financing. And also Mike Huckabee's Little Rock McMansion, which he and his wife paid $525,00. Sounds like a steal, but we're guessing it's one of the more pricey homes in Arkansas. Which would explain why they registered for house-warming gifts after they bought it.

Now, for any of the candidates trying to establish some Green credentials, Political Nanny's advice is: install solar panels and change those incandescent bulbs, quick! Most of these rather enormous homes likely have an oversized and embarassing carbon footprint. We're just saying ...

Finally, the ones missing from the collection are two that Political Nanny would have really liked to see and also a pair that could give some perspective: the homes of Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich. Send over the links if you think you have tracked either or both of them down. Is Political Nanny alone in imagining Kucinich's digs might bear some resemblance to Austin Power's pad? No, only her?

You Vote Like a Girl

Madeline Holler — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:59:00 GMT

Oh, ladies! You fickle registered voters! You suffragists with a soft spot! Illogical! Emoooootional! So (once in a while) devoted to your Grrrl Power!

Late last week, many a written tear was shed over Hillary Clinton’s surprise win. Trails of mascara streaked down puffy-faced blogs and newspapers. The votes of many, many New Hampshire women came under close scrutiny and were resoundingly second-guessed. No WAY did all those gals want Hillary for president! Not for reals. These sweet, caring, sympathetic (read: female) babes just didn't want to see Clinton cry. :(

But don't worry, theorizer of the Grrrlfriend Posse – wherein a roving band of one asked our girl a personal question to get her all choked up. Settle down, those of you who suspect that the tears were forced. Not for a moment will Hillary's tearful, childish, emotional manipulation -- meant clearly to prey on the fairer American voter's biologically fickle nature and DNA-given perogative to change her mind -- send her to the White House. Barack Obama can easily reclaim the female half of the voting population -- what Political Nanny likes to think of as "voters-lite". Why?

Because Senator is fine!

We all know how seductive power can be to a straight woman. And when that power is bestowed in a man with those looks! With such skill holding babies! With these dance moves! Oh, get the smelling salts. Even Political Nanny is feeling light-headed.

What does all this mean? Well, if the female vote is as uncommitted/wavering/sympathetic/overly sensitive/tied to the heart as the press would have us thinking last week, it means Hillary Clinton is going to have to do a whole lot of crying – sobbing really – to hold on to their votes. It has nothing to do with the issues, or winning or political opinions of one's own. It's all about a passion for politics (if you get Political Nanny's drift). Barack is just THAT hot!

Let's hope, for Hillary's sake, that Barack doesn't pull out a handkerchief and dab at her cheeks when she schedules a meltdown in South Carolina. Oh, how the ladies in the voting booth will grab hold of his lever and start tugging!

What can the other candidates do to get a little of this girl action? Dennis Kucinich could stop making out with his hot wife! (She makes us feel ugly!) And John Edwards, well, he's got that sensitive man thing going. So, why not show us a little leg like Obama and shed a few tears like Clinton. Who knows what the picky voter chicks will go for next!

Ultrasound Canceled! It's Still the First Trimester

Madeline Holler — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:20:00 GMT

If only we could hold a sonogram wand against the belly of this election beast, the sex of the next president, and the size of his/her win, could be accurately predicted. But the campaigns are still developing, it's early in the race, and this election has crappy health insurance. We'll have to wait and count votes to see who actually emerges from the mess.

A tough lesson for those in the news business! Pundits and political writers relied on old wives' tales this week to try to predict the details of the nation's first primary before it was even over. They observed whether New Hampshire carried its primary low or high, they peed in glass jars and mixed it with Dran-O, they relied on polls that gave Barack Obama double-digit leads. Then they painted the nursery blue.

Boy, are they pissed. It’s a girl!

Why? How? Where did it all go so wrong?

For your very uncommitted, undecided Political Nanny, this aftermath of the "surprise" "comebacks" (well, maybe for McCain) in the New Hampshire primaries has been more fun than a baby shower with no games AND an open bar. Political Nanny hated all the frenzy and frothing at the mouth that followed Iowa and led up to New Hampshire. She’s hoping, audaciously, for a little more caution going into South Carolina and eventually to Feb. 5, Super Tuesday.

But the fun! The fun! Maureen Dowd, a die-hard Clinton-hater, bawled like a girl after the results and speculated that New Hampshire ladies sopped up Hillary’s tears with sympathy votes. We're laughing so hard we're crying, Maureen.

Others, like Salon’s Rebecca Traister, navigate us through the makings of an anti-Hillary pile-on. The details -- from prologue to postscript – are so compelling, you’ll never take a thing Chris Matthews says seriously again (not that you have for a verrrrrrry long time).

Politico offers this mea culpa and explanation for why journalists got it wrong. It’s refreshing in its candor, delightful in its self-loathing. A sample:

Our own publication, Politico, did its part in promoting several of these flimsy story lines. We used predictive language in stories. We amplified certain trends and muffled the caveat, which perhaps should be printed with every story, like a surgeon general’s warning: “We don’t know what will happen until voters vote.”

And for some nasty fun, watch the blooper videos from Slate. Be patient, Anderson Cooper looks like a total ass in the final clip (and why Gloria Borger keeps trying to make her point, we can only guess). The collection also includes an NBC correspondent's confession that, regarding Obama, it's difficult to be objective. Yikes!

You know, the gestation of an election is supposed to take some time. It’s not supposed to be decided by fewer than 1 million people (just under 800,000 to be more specific) in two different states. How ridiculous would it be to have all but one candidate drop out at this point – before the bulk of the country (remember, the population is over 300 million) could help narrow the field? How fat and swollen and pre-diabetic and endless and post-due would a general election feel in that case? Schedule an induction, STAT!

So, call the lab, cancel the next ultrasound, and have a little fun. Let’s take the presumed advice of an election midwife: eat right and drink plenty of fluids, exercise moderation, avoid polls and negative campaigning. Above all else, give the horse-race analysis a rest and try to enjoy this very special, very magical time that only happens once every four years of your life.

And now, a tribute, to a Political Nanny fave, Bill Richardson. He has withdrawn from his race for president. No, we never thought he’d actually make it to the White House (now THERE’S a prediction even Political Nanny feels was safe to make), but we liked him behind the microphone. In the most recent debate – the one right before the New Hampshire primaries – he was funny, smart, and able to get the discussion back to the issues. Even though he won’t be the Commander in Chief, we get the feeling he’ll nonetheless be moving to D.C. for a job about this time next year. Political Nanny will pack your toys and change of clothes, little Bill, and have them sent to you there.

Finally, this tidbit:

John Kerry has endorsed Barack Obama, not his former play- and running-mate John Edwards. On the one hand, that's sad for Edwards, on the other hand, does a Kerry endorsement have much weight? Hey, Political Nanny is just asking!

Photo: BBC.co.uk

Primary's Baby: N.H. Girl Stalks the Candidates

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:47:00 GMT

You can tell a lot about a presidential candidate by the way s/he holds a baby. OK, not really. But we're going to deeply analyze it anyway. Why? Because it's fun, because it's naughty, because Political Nanny wishes SHE would have thought of doing what this forward-thinking and shameless contributor to Slate has done.

Darren Garnick, a New Hampshire resident, hauled his five-week-old daughter Dahlia to campaign events around his home state, handing her over to candidates and capturing the moment in a stillshot. The results? Fabulous! The slide show is at once a marvelous demonstration of parenting at its least protective and political coverage at its weakest. In other words, refreshing!

First up is Barack Obama, who winds up holding Dahlia on two different occasions -- the first time in a sweet (and completely competent) traditional infant cradle hold, the second time while Dahlia wears a "Black Power" bib at a rally. Let's look at the cradle hold: Obama is clearly a man who put in the hours with his own kids. He's got two, but they're young and there's not a lot of distance between daily baby-holding and this picture. (We need to keep that in mind when we look at the pics of some campaign trail parents whose own days of second-nature infant handling (the floppy necks!) are decades behind them.) At the rally, Garnick reports that Obama kissed Dahlia's forehead (melt) and then held her up for cheers.

Next up, Rudy Giuliani is stuck with the screeching girl in a fleece pumpkin costume. He looks like he's going to drop her, but he hangs on tight. He was at a disadvantage -- how do you securely snuggle with a squirmy winter vegetable? Let's not judge Rudy too harshly.

Then there's John McCain, who launches the beginning of a curious trend in the baby holds: he's circled his thumb and four fingers around one of Dahlia's legs. Political Nanny doesn't recall doing this with her babes. Perhaps it's an older generation male thing? Because Edwards, Kucinich and (look closely) Romney are doing it too. Political Nanny is not saying it's harmful, just curious. Did they learn this in a Kissing the Baby workshop at Let's Play President summer camp?

What you really want to know, though, is something about Hillary Clinton's baby snuggling chops. Well, hold your "cold-heart" comments, she does just fine with Dahlia, who gazes right into the mother-of-one's eyes. Sure, there's a bit of stiffness in the hold, but Hillary's kid is pushing 30. Maybe it's been awhile. Please note, however, that Hillary is doing that protective palm-around-the-shoulders upper hand thing, which Political Nanny always appreciates when strangers hold her little ones.

In addition to the leg-grip, Mitt Romney does the fingers-around-the-neck upright baby display so competently, he'd make any OB/Gyn proud (except maybe Ron Paul). Garnick notes that the picture, which includes Romney's wife, looks like the New Hampshire father is giving up Dahlia for adoption to a rich white couple. Agreed!

Finally, we see Huckabee and Chuck Norris in a horizontal split-screen shot. Huckabee's doing the hands-under-armpits-with-dangling legs hold (baby facing outward), while Chuck Norris has turned his arm into a seat, allowing Dahlia to rest against his chest. He lays a hand -- it's a registered weapon! -- protectively against her chest. Well done, Chuck, well done!

Garnick didn't get Dahlia into the arms of Fred Thompson (who didn't do much in New Hampshire) or Duncan Hunter (what a relief!) or Ron Paul (coulda shown Mitt a thing or two). And he admits Mike Gravel freaks him out, so he didn't stand a chance. But Political Nanny is grateful for the slideshow and its insight. How will the candidates handle Iraq? Who cares! How are they going to cuddle the nation?

Photo: Slate.com

Candidates Play Musical Chairs

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:22:00 GMT

When election officials pressed pause and the candidates scrambled to their seats last night, the line-up in that round of musical chairs reshuffled. Hillary Clinton moved from third in Iowa to first in New Hampshire. Edwards dropped from second last week to third last night. Obama's second-place finish in the primary was a letdown after his first-place finish in the caucuses. (See above for best disappointing-returns photo ever. Is that couple real or what?! Ahem, back to the results.) So far in this round for Democrats, no one will follow Chris Dodd and Joe Biden in leaving the game. A good thing.

Over with the GOP, only Mitt Romney landed in the same chair he started out in, while John McCain scrambled to get the empty first-place one. Huckabee settled for third, which sets him back a bit since his first-round win last week in Iowa.

The other candidates -- Bill Richardson, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Ron Paul, all the rest -- continue to try to connect with voters, register with the media and gather support for better finishes.

What does it all mean? Did the tears work for Hillary? (Shame on you, NYTimes and Maureen Dowd for today's column headlined "Can Hillary Clinton Cry Her Way Back Into the White House?") Or was it the case she laid out in the debate two nights before? Are those truly independent voters buying the maverick message of John McCain? Was the media's infatuation with Barack Obama not enough to entice New Hampshire voters to cast ballots for him? Or was it the weather? The lack of college students? The speeches? The promises?

New Hampshire is another small state with a big early influence on the elections. So Political Nanny is glad to see the shake-up. She'd like all the candidates to stay in the race for another month. There's more to be said of the bigger ideas to the broader audiences. Iowa and New Hampshire were practice rounds. On Jan. 15, Hillary Clinton runs against herself and the "uncommitted" votes protesting the fact that their favorite candidates are not on the ballot. After that, the Nevada caucuses and South Carolina primarie on Jan. 19. Ten days after that, big Florida. We're all waiting anxiously for the music to pause, again and again and again. Because there's nothing quite as exhilirating as play musical chairs with closely matched peers.

Photo: NYTimes.com

Sensory Overload During N.H. Primary

Madeline Holler — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 21:07:00 GMT

Seriously, Political Nanny is just waiting for a nationwide media meltdown. Reporters laying face down on the ground. Photographers throwing their equipment across the room. Candidates pounding their fists and bawling like babies. (That may have begun to happen already.) There's just so much going on, so much to say, so many ways to look at today's primaries in New Hampshire.

Let's start with the crying:

Hillary Clinton got emotional yesterday when she was talking to a small group of voters in New Hampshire. She teared up. She visibly suppressed a lump in her throat. And she set off a fit of commentary on what the tears meant, whether they were geniune, were they a part of a new post-Iowa campaign makeover, and why did she wait so long.

Today, Fox News reported that uber campaign strategists James Carville and Paul Begala would be riding in to rescue Hillary campaign. Which must have given die-hard Clintonistas a bit of relief. However, were now reading that, no, no, no, it's not true. You're kidding. Fox got it wrong? But there are likely changes coming for her campaign staff. Political Nanny has been waiting for that announcement for a couple of weeks. Oh, and in case you'd like to put Political Nanny on retainer, she'll give you her first nugget of advice for free, Hillary, release Chelsea from the grips of your protective motherly instincts! Let her talk! Let her be interviewed! Help her help you!

Free ride:

The other Clinton, Bill, accuses the media of giving Barack Obama and John Edwards a free ride. Naturally, the media doesn't believe it. Let's be honest, though. Obama is simply interesting, which doesn't necessarily make him a better president, just a better news story. So, while Political Nanny wouldn't call it a free ride, she would call the media's handling of Obama a comfortable ride at a nice price.

Now, Political Nanny would be remiss in not sharing the fact that (1) when doing Google searches for pictures of her candidates, it's much easier to find authoritative yet friendly, strong yet sensitive, handsome yet intelligent pictures of John Edwards and Barack Obama than it is of Hillary Clinton. Look at this picture on CNN.com today of Obama. Why not just Photoshop in a halo? They've got pixie dust flaking off his head! Just saying ...

Also, we know a lot about Obama's good work -- South Side Chicago, the international travel, fun with hard drugs, that kind of thing. And for Edwards? Well, he reminds us of his life's story every time he gets to a mic. (And it's a good story, don't get me wrong!). But for Hillary? We get to hear about her cheating husband. I mean, for god's sake, she's the first woman to really have a shot at becoming president of the U.S. She's got more of a backstory than woman done wrong, no?

Whew! That nearly triggered a Political Nanny meltdown! Back to New Hampshire ...

What hinges on McCain's outcome:

John McCain needs to do very well in New Hampshire to keep his campaing going. What's amazing is that he actually has a chance. He's been getting more support -- Iowa notwithstanding -- and the campaign we were all willing to write off over the summer has survived (but isn't survival what McCain is all about?). Political Nanny wants to see McCain stay in the race. He adds to the tension among the GOP candidates, which reminds the rest of them to behave. Plus, he's got a nasty streak that's quite entertaining.

Oh, man, Mitt needs to rally!:

Last week in Iowa, Huckabee stole the thunder that was a Mitt Romney win and eventual nomination. And now, everybody's looking at McCain. What does this mean for Mitt? A second-place finish, while not the worst possible outcome, it's also not what he expected. And for the GOP in N.H., second-place is the new also-ran, since Huckabee hasn't really bothered much with a campaign there.

Running low on ballots:

Perhaps the most aggravating news that comes out today is that some counties in the state are running low on ballots. My goodness, aren't we just screwing up elections year after year in the United States? Here's hoping the ballot supply lasts until the last voter goes home. If not -- if this primary gets contested or yields inconclusive results by tomorrow morning -- well, that's when Political Nanny promises you SHE'LL throw a tantrum.

So amidst the crying, the surging, the polling, the voting, try to stay calm, dear candidates. Try to stay calm.

Bill O’Reilly Incites Political Playground Scuffle

Madeline Holler — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:11:00 GMT

An angry, antsy and entitled Bill O’Reilly caused a scene Saturday afternoon during a New Hampshire campaign rally when, attempting to speak face-to-face with Barack Obama, he shoved the senator’s 6’8” bodyguard, called him an SOB and then, evading any personal self-reflection, declared the bodyguard “low class.”

Cute!

The whole scene is hilariously retold (including details of people shouting “hate-monger” at O’Reilly and flipping him off) by Slate’s John Dickerson, who, incidentally, would make a great Political Manny: he confesses to having, in the heat of the moment, yelled at O’Reilly to “grow up!”

“ … which was thoroughly unprofessional, except that I have little kids and I think it's important to discipline misbehavior immediately. If I don't dare to discipline, they'll grow up to be like, well, Bill O'Reilly.”

Forgiven!

Obama eventually talks to O’Reilly, who is trying to get the leading Democratic candidate on his show. Obama tells him there are people waiting in line. Watch the events unfold here.

Photo: New York Times

Break Out the Diapers: Candidates Demand a Change!

Madeline Holler — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 04:35:00 GMT

Candidates from both parties are beginning to sound like a room full of neglected toddlers wearing sagging, saturated diapers. "Change, change, change," they all yelled, screamed, demanded, whimpered during a weekend of debates in New Hampshire. "I'm here for change!"

Well, hold on a second, Mitt and Hillary and John McCain. Just last week you were bragging about your experience and training and ability to, if elected, go on the potty starting from Day 1!

But Political Nanny understands. You're all wetting your pants after the Iowa Caucus when the new kids Barack and Mike got most of the attention and a whole lot of love -- love and support you had hoped (expected?) would mostly be yours. Since everyone is reading these not-totally-surprising-but-still-very-notable wins as Americans wanting change, well, that's what you'll all give them: change!

In Saturday's Facebook/ABC News back-to-back Republican and Democratic debates and again on Fox for Republicans on Sunday, the talk was about change. Change in immigration. Change in healthcare. Change in Iraq. Change in foreign relations. Change in the status quo. Change in monetary systems. Change in leadership style. Change in change.

The Republicans:

On Saturday, Fred Thompson sounded like he was BSing, a lot, let Political Nanny just get that out there. He seemed caught off-guard. John McCain was ready with a zinger for Romney at nearly every turn. Giuliani got in a couple as well. It was kind of a Mitt Romney pile on. Interestingly, Mike Huckabee sat back a bit. Answered his questions. Stayed out of the fray. Safe.

Side note: perhaps Political Nanny is starting to identify with her captors, and some kind of mainstream media Stockholm Syndrome is clouding her judgment, but Saturday's debates were the best so far for both parties. There was no schtick to upstage the candidates (like videos or planned questions from the audience), and Charlie Gibson allowed the candidates to talk and ignore the clock a bunch.

Even better, Gibson followed up on a couple of points Political Nanny has been curious about: He pressed Republican candidates, who say tax credits are the way to get more Americans insured, by crunching the numbers -- basically laying out how $15,000 in annual premiums (which is essentially what employers are paying for a family) can't possibly be written off the taxes of families with incomes of $60,000. They would only be able to write off something like $3,000. (This is the same problem I see with health savings accounts (Guiliani's healthcare strategy). How do you build up enough to cover ongoing health checkups -- particularly for families who have young kids (well baby checkups must add up to a fortune) and need those expensive immunizations and still have something left over for a catastrophe or, say, minor surgery?)

So Charlie crunched the numbers for them, which no one responded directly to, but that's about when John McCain jumped in and said the trick is to control inflation, so that healthcare won't cost $15,000. Riiiiiight. Huckabee said we have a "disease care system," and not a health care system and wanted to shift to prevention and, of course, control costs (yet have it remain a free-market enterprise. Hmmm.). Romney wants the states to handle it how their governors see fit. But he wants to give support (and money?) at the federal level.

The Democrats:

There was some fun sparring to watch, especially as Barack Obama and John Edwards hooked harms and took on Hillary Clinton, later pointed about by moderator Gibson and getting a laugh from Clinton, "you noticed?" Overall, Clinton wanted voters to believe that she doesn't have to convince them that she's a candidate for change (see? "change!"), since she's been about change her whole life. Then she cited a few things that she's changed, particularly getting healthcare for children in Arkansas. And said, as the first woman president, she would quite distinctly embody change.

Edwards wanted us to know that he has lived through the struggles facing American families and that his desire for change is personal. And possible: he claims he has never taken money from lobbyists or PACs and that he wouldn't allow lobbyists in the White House and, therefore, would be beholden to no one but Americans.

Obama defended his ability to inspire as an important catalyst for change, that inspiring Americans builds momentum and support for change.

Bill Richardson said, "I love change," after also defending experience, a notion that has taken a beating as of late. "What's wrong with experience? We want to change this country, but we have to know how to do it." (Political Nanny detected a defense on behalf of Hillary. So kind.)

Speaking of Richardson, Political Nanny would like to hug him. He provided just the right kind of levity the debate needed to ease the tension and pull the rhetoric back a little to remind everyone they were talking about real issues, actual events, and American lives.

Next up ... the New Hampshire Primaries tomorrow (Tuesday, Jan. 8).

Election Milestone: Candidates Take First Steps In Iowa (Quick, Get the Camera!)

Madeline Holler — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:38:00 GMT

Political Nanny is sitting on pins and needles, at once excited, deliriously proud of and terrified for her candidates. Today, the 15 reach such an important milestone: the Iowa caucuses. They look so grown up! It seems like just yesterday ...! It's all happening so fast (well, not really.)

As the unruly group of them toddles around on stages, grabbing at microphones, saying "cheese" for the camera, and slobbering all over Iowans one last time in hopes of charming each and every one of these Midwesterners to go out tonight and be counted at the caucus (and chances are, they won't), Political Nanny is watching and trying to remember Iowa is not the final word. It's the first, only the first. We caregivers -- those of us experienced with cadidate-children -- know that the early walker in Iowa will not acurrately predict who gets to sit in the White House highchair. (Remember little guy Dick Gephardt?) See, there's time to catch up.

In the meantime, Political Nanny will be watching her babes today as they smile and shake hands and talk pretty and learn their numbers (polls and precinct percentages are the new flashcards!). She'll be watching tonight as the reports come in. Tomorrow, she'll usher the remaining ones over to New Hampshire for primaries there next week.

Those little buggers never could sit still.

Group Hug! Candidates Endorsing Candidates

Madeline Holler — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Political Nanny's pet presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich made a surprising demi-endorsement just a day and a half before Iowans kick off the voters' portion of the 2008 election program.

He told his supporters to back Barack Obama if they can't gather enough Kucinich delegates to meet a minimum percent of those gathered. As we discussed before, Iowans have a built-in back-up plan when it comes to determining their state parties' favorite candidates. If a candidate can't gather enough support, those caucusers are allowed to regroup with their second-choice candidate. Kucinich hopes his would-be supporters will gather under the Obama sign.

Naturally, he'd like New Hampshire's Democratic primary support to go all and only to him.

"This is obviously an 'Iowa-only' recommendation, as Sen. Obama and I are competing in the New Hampshire primary next Tuesday, where I want to be the first choice of New Hampshire voters."

Obama's response?

“He and I have been fighting for a number of the same priorities — including an end to the war in Iraq that we both opposed from the start, reforming Washington and creating a better life for America’s working families. I encourage all Iowans to take part in the caucuses this Thursday — not because it will be good for any one candidate, but because it will be good for our party and the future of our country.”

Political Nanny feels certain that Kucinich's suggestions for second-best presents an interesting dilemma for more than one lefty Iowan, since Ralph Nader also recently made an endorsement of his own: he told the press he's backing John Edwards.

Those Democrats -- it's just one big group hug after the next. (Hey, John, quit pinching Hillary!)

Candidates, Political Nanny Loves You. Now Change!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Over the past three months, Political Nanny has grown to love her lot of disagreeable, argumentative, name-calling, cackling, power-praying little presidential candidates. They're approaching the first of many back-to-back primary election milestones -- only three days until Iowa! -- but have already blossomed into tough and sturdy and, how shall we put this, flexible campaigners.

But could they be better? Oh, couldn't we all. In the spirit of starting anew, Political Nanny has made some resolutions for the campaigning men and woman of 2008.

Over at the Democrats' favorite playground ...

Barack Obama: resolve to inspire (again … and, alone!). What happened to the guy who swept us all off of our feet nearly four years ago? This sparkling source of hope has gotten dull from so much positioning and polling and over-wrought handling. Get back to the basics -- make change feel possible! Make it feel inevitable! If the old caucusing biddies in Iowa (or New Hampshire or South Carolina) weren’t going to vote for you months ago, they’re not going to vote for you now. Indeed, one person can change the world. We just don't want Oprah to think it's her!

Hillary Clinton: tear down that wall! This distance you keep from the voting public reminds us of a certain guy president and no, we’re especially not talking about your husband! So let us in. Let us ask questions – any question! Not pre-approved ones! Trust us! We’ll do the right thing! Trust yourself! You've got the answers!

Joe Biden: Keep on keeping on. You know everything, you really do. You probably even know you don’t have a chance to win. But the candidates need you – America needs you. In government and in this campaign. You turn meta-answers into concrete plans, Joe. You say what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.

Chris Dodd: Be (even more) like Joe. With two of you, oh, how the front-runners won’t get away with pandering to the polls!

John Edwards: John, sweetheart, listen. You have got to expand your message to the middle and upper middle class (who look more like the lower- and middle-class you're talking about, everyday). Here's the deal: the mortgage industry is handing you talking points for these people who, to be honest, you might sorta be alienanting with your anti-corporate talk (you see, that’s where they work!). But with housing, ohhhhh, housing. Just bring up housing, foreclosures, bubbles, all of it -- and they’re listening. They're listening to you.

Bill Richardson: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the vice presidential stars.

Dennis Kucinich: Don’t go changing to try to please Political Nanny. She loves you just the way you are.

Mike Gravel: Come here and give Political Nanny a hug, you silly guy.

Now back at Camp GOP ...

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. So much to love. So much to loathe. Political Nanny would like you to be your own guy. She knows that Republicans often get bullied by big scary Christians who claim to be friends. But would real friends ask you to be someone you’re not?

John McCain: Resolve to stay tough. And be strong. You keep hope alive for conservatives who don't necessarily think the church and state are one and the same. Oh, and next time a supporter mentions The Bitch, show some sac, dear John, and don't be so quick to laugh.

Mike Huckabee: Michael! That's enough! You, my boy, are a man of faith. But you must also resolve to be a man of respect. If all you have to offer Americans are platitudes and religious references, please reconsider your leadership goals and run for president of the Southern Baptists. Because Political Nanny likes her America inclusive, cohesive and as plural as it can get.

Fred Thompson: Sit down, honey, let’s talk. Political Nanny thinks you don’t actually want to run for president. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. No shame in “spending time with the family.” So, whenever you’re ready to call it quits, know that millions of others are ready for it too.

Duncan Hunter: Still more are ready to see you go, Duncan. So, Political Nanny would like to see even less of you in the new year, young man. You can use the extra down time for painting murals on your very special wall.

Mitt Romney: Political Nanny thinks you’re a good boy, Mitt, she really does. But you want your buddies to like you so much that you’ve changed your mind, mainly by closing it. You say such damaging things to millions of families in the U.S. and completely dismiss millions of others. Political Nanny wants to see you be the truest, most honest version of yourself in 2008.

Ron Paul: You're doing something right, Ron Paul. Look at all those people giving you money! But that doesn't make you perfect, not by any means. In the new year, Political Nanny would like you to work on (1) living in reality, (2) increasing your dosage of paranoia-tempering thorazine and (3) smiling.

And last but not least, a New Year's resolution for her GOP debate interloper and possible candidate (please, please, please) Alan Keyes: Just. Do. It.

Happy New Year, kids! And Happy New Year, voters! Let's resolve to get together everyday for a little election downtime with Political Nanny!

Rudolph, With Your Campaign (Not So) Bright

Madeline Holler — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:36:00 GMT

Political Nanny loves all her charges unequally, she really does. But it’s not what you think. She doesn’t love her boys and girl based on family background or affluence or which color figure they choose for Candyland or which side of the gameboard they like to sit on, right or left. She loves them for who they are.

Which is why she’s in a bit of a panic for one of her secret favorites:

Her fake conservative Rudy.

Reports about his struggling campaign have made Political Nanny’s heart heavy. The fact that some are making it seem like he could drop out of the race stirs her viciously protective side. No, it can’t be, not the little fighter (and obviously skilled lover!) Rudy. This election season will be so worse off without him.

He is a joy to look after on so many levels: his personal life is a blast, his missteps even blastier. There’s something so dirty-politics about the guy, and Political Nanny is not stranger to dirt.

Rudy got roundly criticized during some of the GOP debates but Political Nanny thought he was a gem (and let’s face it, the dullness of the others made this little diamond-in-the-rough sparkle madly). Political Nanny was tense, yes she was, during the nitpicky “did not, did so!” kinds of tussles over sanctuaries with another of her desperate GOP charges, Mitt. And she cringed when Rudy tried to quickly recall Bible details discussed during catechism so many years ago. But he needs to stick around. He has to.

Because here’s the deal with Rudy: he and Political Nanny (and, perhaps even you) share a nudge-nudge, wink-wink thing over games his GOP playgroup forces him to play. If someone has to go home now, she’d really rather let go of one of her gay-hating, woman-hating, immigrant-hating, healthcare-hating, ozone-hating, Mormon-hating (or Muslim-hating, ahem!) guys. Because Rudy doesn’t hate. He loves. He loves a lot (if you know what I’m saying). And he makes the others show their love just a little bit more. Problem is, Rudy’s loves includes most of all himself. Like a two-year-old, he is his own favorite person. And it shows. It shows a lot – in his face, in his words, in the paperwork.

He’s not the only one, of course. But he’s the one who keeps getting caught. And any kid will tell you, everybody’s breaking the rules, but only the ones who get caught get punished. It's too early for such drastic punishment for kid who is so fun to watch, so helpful in steering the others to love more.

Don’t go, Rudy. Don’t.

Extra Cookies: Obama Gets High Praise for Telling Truth About Inhaling

Madeline Holler — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:02:00 GMT

In New Hampshire, openly former-druggie-and-refreshingly-honest-about-it presidential candidate Barack Obama was asked whether, when smoking pot, he actually inhaled. He had this to say:

"I did. It's not something that I'm proud of. It was a mistake … But you know, I'm not going to. I never understood that line. The point was to inhale. That was the point."

Indeed! He was also asked whether he would support medical marijuana. He said he would but only if they could ensure tight controls and offer it by prescription only and for palliative care. Yeah, but, what was the point again?

Whatever it was, Political Nanny wants to reward the Illinois senator with two extra cookies at snacktime for being honest and direct about his youthful indiscretions and only sort of qualifying the whole medical marijuana idea. Also, he might need the extra munchies for, well, you get the point.

Nanny Cam: The Edwards Iowa/New Hampshire Ad

Madeline Holler — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:24:00 GMT

The one bad thing about not living in Iowa or New Hampshire (and truly, it’s a gift when you don’t) is that you miss all the early campaign ads. I love getting to know a candidate through carefully selected video clips of “average” and “hard-working” Americans – always driving tractors or welding steel -- played in short bursts between my favorite TV shows.

Political Nanny will bring as many as she can through the Political Nanny Cam. Prepare your heartstrings for a year of vigorous tugging.

Edwards’ Iowa/New Hampshire ad has all the required elements and had me tingling the second he mentioned Elizabeth in the hospital. In these 60 seconds, he lays out why he’s not a hero but the lady in the sleeveless top is. Why it's not about him, it's about those two old geezers taking apart an old tractor engine. A piano slowly builds to a crescendo in the background, pulling it all together.

He’s right, you know, I’m the true American hero.

Is there an ad running in your area that you'd like to share with the class? Nanny wants to know!