Political Nanny : celebrities

Obama Campaign Meets 'Fame: The Musical'

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 19:51:00 GMT

Earnest and musically talented Obama supporters, turn that crap down! The voters are napping! You're giving Political Nanny a headache!

Please?

via HuffPo via The Atlantic

Nanny Cam: Hillary's Playdate With Jack Nicholson

Madeline Holler — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:45:00 GMT

All right, all right, all right. Hillary and Political Nanny have just returned from a very fun playdate with a very special friend of Hillary's. Yes, yes, yes, Political Nanny was just saying Barack has the coolest friends, and it's true: he does. But Hillary has the weirdest ... and we like weird. Weird is good.

Her buddy Jack Nicholson put together a little video montage featuring himself, which supposedly presents arguments for why she should be in the White House. The nice thing is, Hillary's campaign is trying to leverage some of its support from professional entertainers. Not amature ones whose homages to the New York Senator kind of added to her dork factor.

No, you won't get goosebumps like you do watching videos starring Obama. But you get some laughs, and not the kind of laughs that might wind up looping on a ballpoint pen.

Dress Your Family in Campaign Swag and Marc Jacobs

Madeline Holler — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:36:00 GMT

Political statement or fashion statement? Who cares! Just order your high-end campaign T-shirts for one or both of the Democrats now (especially the Marc Jacobs Hillary tee, because, well, not being insensitive or anything, buuuut, will they be available much longer?).

Each T-shirt features the candidate, big-faced and beautiful, on the front. Obama's -- designed by grafitti artist Obey -- has street cred, style, and even screams "Hope" or "Progress," your choice. Hillary's, offered by Marc Jacobs, is more classic and features the New York senator with an American Flag lapel pin. You have to buy Hillary's in a Marc Jacobs store. Obama's you can order online. Hers is $35, his is $25. Hillary!

These T-shirts are hardly standard-issue Nannywear, but Political Nanny wants one of each anyway. She'd even take one with John McCain's face, especially if his daughter designed it and military-esque epaulettes weren't involved.

A confession: Political Nanny has already started half-packing her dear little Hillary's bag -- ready and willing to unpack it quickly if Texas and Ohio turn out for her. But Hillary's depature would leave yet another empty whole in Political Nanny's heart (she's still mourning Dennis, Fred and Mitt). Which is why she thinks she'll cherish her Hillary T-shirt for years to come. That is, if Political Nanny can ever get her hands on one. Not unlike the campaign, Obama's tee is easy to find, easy to buy, instantly rewarding. Hillary's is more of a challenge, requiring near manic dedication to see the process through to the end.

The Coveted 'Gangster Party' Endorsement

Madeline Holler — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 23:15:00 GMT

Snoop Dogg says he's not down with the Republican party or the Democratic party. "I represent the gangster party." So who does he plan to vote for in tomorrow's California primary election?

Either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. (Damn! Political Nanny thought the undecided Democratic voters might finally get some answers ... albeit from Snoop Dogg. What was she thinking?)

"Whether it be him, a black man, or Hillary, a woman, either one to me is a great move for America because we need change, we need somebody in there that’s going to be about listening to the people and representing the people and I feel like both of the candidates will do that."

Mr. Dogg, Political Nanny could have told you that. Super Tuesday undecideds ... anything? Do you have anything?

Rap Mogul Russell Simmons is leaning toward Hillary Clinton. He says he's had Bill and Hillary's number in his cell phone for years. Q-Tip from Tribe Called Quest is certain of his support for Obama.

will.i.am. & o.ba.ma: Yes We Can

Madeline Holler — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 22:14:00 GMT

Political Nanny wasn't into Obama's Superbowl ad. She likes this election music video a little better. But here's the problem.

First, it's fun listening to Obama give his big speeches, so having will.i.am talk over him -- with the same words -- feels like the Black-Eyed Peas guy is trying to take credit. But then it's kind of beat poet artsy, so we'll grant a pass on that one. But then it starts feeling like a "We Are the World" but in separate studio sessions because nobody can take the time to get together and sing in a star-studded ensemble anymore. Where's the love in that?

Fine, standing alone is a symbol, one person makes a difference, let's go with that. So we get a montage of other famous (and some not so much) people also talking over Obama. (Have we mentioned the tune is quite catchy?) Sometimes we understand what they're saying. Once in awhile, Political Nanny gets the goosebumps -- kind of her applause meter, if you will.

But then ... then this. What Political Nanny found most annoying -- and she's blaming herself for this -- once Scarlett Johanssen shows up, we stop listening to the message and start leaning in to hear what SJ's singing voice sounds like. (Still not sure.) Wait, where are we? Yes can what? Oh, damn, missed her again.

Mental exercise: After you watch this, watch it again, only try to imagine it's a Mitt Romney or Hillary Clinton speech. Huh, doesn't work so well.

So, sure, it's the Political Video of the Year.

Or you can watch a music video lovenote to Mike Huckabee, with lyrics like " it don't bother me that you went to fake college, cuz the Bible is the once source of true knowledge," and "you were a dream in 2007, gonna be the president of heaven," and "lost that weight, look great, gonna marry church and state."

Thanks for the tip DailyScanner

Who Loves You, Campaign Baby? (Rambo, Porn Stars and Writers, That's Who)

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:23:00 GMT

Running for president is not a popularity contest. Oh, wait, it is! And just like high school this competition hinges on the backing of other popular kids. This year's election has been a veritable Endorsement Bonanza. Everybody is getting in on it, no matter what their relevance levels, which for most, in Political Nanny's estimation, peaked somewhere between 1983-1989.

So for every Maya Angelou that steps up to stump for Hillary Clinton, there's a Toni Morrison who thinks you should vote for Barack Obama. Mike Huckabee's campaign took off after Chuck Norris promised to kick campaign butt. Now Hulk Hogan is throwing his weight around to encourage support for Obama. Rounding out the Aging Muscle-Man endorsements is Ric Flair, also for Huckabee, and Sylvester Stallone, a McCain man, naturally (this endorsement suspiciously coincided with the release of Stallone's latest Rambo movie).

This year's backers come in all shapes, sizes and professions. Here are a few more:

Vampirist Anne Rice and barrister-cum-crime-novelist John Grisham heart Clinton.

Porn star and writer of "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" Jenna Jameson would like to tell you how to vote like a porn star -- casting a ballot for Hillary Clinton. She has her reasons. Of course, Porn Stars are not a monolith. Savanna Samson wanted to toss her lot to Rudy Giuliani, but his campaign climaxed prematurely and made a huge mess. Equally deflated is King of Porn, Hustler's Larry Flynt, who made his sweet love for Dennis Kucinich well known. Now, all Flynt has left are a few good memories of what might have been.

There was, of course, the Grande Dame of endorsers -- Oprah for Obama. Here are some other celebrity endorsements (a couple of which are even 21st-Century relevant)

Kevin Bacon - John Edwards
Donnie and Marie Osmond - Mitt Romney (Political Nanny KNEW he'd have someone!)
Lance Armstrong - John Edwards
John Mayer - Ron Paul (that body of thought is a wonderland)
Jeff Gordon - Rudy Giuliani
Bo Derek - Rudy Giuliani (eh. 7.5)
50 Cent - Hillary Clinton (word?)
Adam Sandler - Rudy Giuliani
Martha Stewart - Hillary Clinton (you OK with that, Hillary?)
George Clooney - Barack Obama (double swoon)
Harry Belafonte - John Edwards (daylight come and he went home ...)
Wilford Brimley - John McCain (dinosaurs, unite!)
Scarlett Johansson - Barack Obama

You're relevant to Political Nanny no matter when you peaked. Whose endorsement are you endorsing? Whose endorsement do you find stunning?

Thanks to BuzzFeed

Now Casting 'Election 2008: The Movie'

Madeline Holler — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:36:00 GMT

Eventually, the 2008 Election is going to make a great epic movie. Sure, we don't yet know the ending. And yeah, so far the story centers mostly on the campaign and surprise Iowa win for a bi-racial Senator, and a pretty decent tearful plot-twist, courtesy of the ambitious, conniving, first woman to do anything important in this country ... ever! There's also the tension building over a New Hampshire comeback for the aging Republican stalwart. Comic relief/hints of horror from the fundamentalist Christian with populist appeal threatening the hopes and dreams of a Morman businessman with daddy issues. There's the 9-11 Mayor, the stinking rich son of a South Carolina mill worker and a second-rate actor on a ubiquitous television franchise to squeeze in there too.

You couldn't write this stuff! But somebody will. Though it's a bit early to be drafting a script -- and hiring a script doctor to come in and punch up those debate scenes (let's be honest, Monday night was 10 minutes of rancor surrounded by 100 minutes of the usual) -- we can start thinking about other ways to get this project greenlighted. Help Political Nanny cast the lead roles:

Slate has made a solid case for Reese Witherspoon as Hillary Clinton in this very amusing video that cuts several Hillary moments with those of another Witherspoon role, Tracy Flick in the 1999 movie "Election." The anger at a lifelong ambition suddenly under threat. The singular focus on winning. The tears. (If it gets on your nerves the first time, go back to it later and watch it again. Eventually, you'll love it.)

How about the rest?

For obvious physical reasons, Mike Huckabee should be played by Kevin Spacey. We're sure Spacey's already brushing up on Scripture, guitar chords and radical weightloss techniques in anticipation of this film (think Spacey will go fat suit or real weight-gain for background scenes as a tax-hiking governor of Arkansas?). It's so the role he was born for, not that Bobby Darin disaster he got a little too into a few years ago.

Fred Thompson could play himself. And he could play himself playing himself on Law & Order and it could get a little Being John Malkovich only with Southern aphorisms and lots of scheduled naps.

Political Nanny feels like Mitt Romney could be played by Tom Cruise (in lifts), what with them both being Scientologists ... or Mormons ... or whatever. Same difference. If Cruise refuses the height-enhancing orthotics, his hair could land him the Edwards role, which leaves Romney open for ... suggestions? A young Charlton Heston?

Joe Biden's role would be too small for the talents of Alec Baldwin, but we'd like to see him do it anyway. The two come so easily unhinged that we feel, just like the real Biden, Baldwin will steal the few scenes he's actually in.

Only Tommy Lee Jones and a box of jawbreaker candy could do the role of John McCain any justice. Which leaves Robert Duvall to play Rudy Giuliani (mmmhmmm, good one, huh?! And we know Duvall would say yes!). But Chris Dodd? We'll have to have open casting for him unless you've got some ideas.

Barack Obama has said he'd like Denzel Washington to play him in the movies but thinks his ears make Will Smith a better fit. Fine, but Political Nanny likes any excuse to watch Denzel so he's got her vote.

Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, and Mike Gravel can be played by extras. After all, this film's got a budget.

And Dennis Kucinich. Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Now, keep an open mind on this one. Political Nanny sees Mike Myers channeling a little Austin Powers channeling the comeback role of a lifetime. Think it'll work? (Julianne Moore gets to be the hot Mrs.K!)

Political Nanny also hears Ralph Nader is thinking about getting in the race. Who's going to play him? Jim Carey? John Turturro? Alan Alda? The talented and versatile Fred Thompson? Fred's got time to rehearse and he'll be available since, well, he called it quits Tuesday and will only appear in the first 20 minutes of this politico-historical epic.

That leaves squeaky Ron Paul, sweet Bill Richardson and gasbag Chris Matthews, who would no doubt want to play himself. Any suggestions? We're looking for an Oscars sweep.

Photo: Wonkette.com