Political Nanny : media

It's Fun to Be Mike Huckabee

Madeline Holler — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:52:00 GMT

When Political Nanny tires of the Democrats' bickering and John McCain's tough talk, she seeks out her little Mike Huckabee. Oh, that boy is good for some laughs. Just look at the fun they're having with him on the plane.

While airborne and unable to use their cellphone and blackberries, Huckabee's campaign staff and the traveling press try to get a little sleep. The tireless, instead trade sleep for shenanigans. Their favorite: taping hand-written signs to sleeping passengers.

It used to be just the traveling press corps. Lately, everybody is free game. Here are some recent big "gets."

From ABC.com's Political Radar:

Some good examples of late are Chuck Norris with a sign that read "MH (Mike Huckabee) Can Beat Me Up" or Minute Man Project founder Jim Gilchrist with a sign that read "This Suit Made in Mexico".

Recently, Sarah Huckabee, Mike's daughter and a senior level staffer, got the biggest get of all: Huckabee.

Again, Political Radar:

As former governor Mike Huckabee slept, his daughter Sarah snuck a sign near him reading: "If I Close My Eyes This Feels like Air Force One".

Come on. That's tons more fun than good music or Jack Nicholson. Tons more fun.

Political Nanny's getting a little punchy. When's the next big primary, again? Or that's right, it's now, right now! Better line up the Kleenax and prep the good-bye bags.

Nanny Cam: Hillary's Playdate With Jack Nicholson

Madeline Holler — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:45:00 GMT

All right, all right, all right. Hillary and Political Nanny have just returned from a very fun playdate with a very special friend of Hillary's. Yes, yes, yes, Political Nanny was just saying Barack has the coolest friends, and it's true: he does. But Hillary has the weirdest ... and we like weird. Weird is good.

Her buddy Jack Nicholson put together a little video montage featuring himself, which supposedly presents arguments for why she should be in the White House. The nice thing is, Hillary's campaign is trying to leverage some of its support from professional entertainers. Not amature ones whose homages to the New York Senator kind of added to her dork factor.

No, you won't get goosebumps like you do watching videos starring Obama. But you get some laughs, and not the kind of laughs that might wind up looping on a ballpoint pen.

McCain and Tyra Rock It

Madeline Holler — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 12:50:00 GMT

Did you get chills watching will.i.am's ode to Obama? Then you'll feeling tingly for a different reason watching this video love letter to John McCain.

Can you figure out whether you'll support John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton? No you can't?

Finally, this random remix, only with Tyra Banks chanting "squat, pull forward, pee." We're not entirely sure why. But we'll trust Tyra and believe that it had to be said.

The Sound of Hillary's Two Hands Clapping

Madeline Holler — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:20:00 GMT

Philosophical Discussion Topic Card #37: What is the sound of Hillary's two hands clapping?

Answer: What you hear is the desperate chortling of Chris Matthews and his sycophants trying too hard to be funny. And saying questionable things like, "is this a Chinese thing?"

First, the video:

It's a montage of Hillary Clinton clapping at different speeches and rallies. In some, she's obviously clapping to a chant. Other times she's clapping at her audience and as a way of acknowledging the supporters standing behind her. Eventually, the montage cuts in Stephen Colbert, who mocks her: "Clap, clap, point, point ..." (Not his best work, but a it's alright.)

Funny (peculiar), the Hardball pundits don't show clips of her clapping, say, at an interview, or a small group discussion, which would indeed be weird. But she's always clapping around crowds of people who are also clapping and/or chanting. Was it a slow news day, Chris?

In fairness to the Hardball intern who put together the clip, the way candidates look into the crowd and then suddenly point and raise their eyebrows -- maybe signal with a thumb's-up -- is jarring. Kind of cheesy. It's all so Tom Jones "What's Up, Pussycat" and cringe-inducing when coming from potential leaders of the free world. But ALL the candidates perform this pointing exercise (except, maybe, Ron Paul.) All the candidates clap, too (again: jury's out on Ron Paul). What are we missing? Is it only worthy of ridicule coming from Hillary Clinton? Oh, and the Chinese (WTF?)?

This focus on Hillary for all the 2008 campaign hilarity leads Political Nanny to another discussion that started shortly before the Super Tuesday primaries and caucuses, and that is whether there is a double-standard going on with respect to negative attitudes toward the final two Democratic candidates. Women's rights advocate Robin Morgan believes it is. The author of the 70s essay "Good-bye to All That," Morgan updated her sentiments in a "Good-bye to All That 2," which became news because Part 2 was supposedly fowarded by Chelsea Clinton to a few friends. Before long, the email got all viral.

Slate's XXFactor breaks it down arguing Morgan's essay gets a bit ranty. Agreed. But the essay also points out the following:

When a sexist idiot screamed “Iron my shirt!” at HRC, it was considered amusing; if a racist idiot shouted “Shine my shoes!” at BO [Barack Obama], it would’ve inspired hours of airtime and pages of newsprint analyzing our national dishonor.

And that's true. If the complement to those "I Wish Hillary Had Married OJ" T-shirts were, instead, XL Beefy Ts bearing a silk-screened noose? There would have been no end to the outrage (and understandably so). It's as if anything about Hillary is fair game including -- no, especially -- whatever reminds us that she's a female.

It's interesting, too, that making fun of Mitt Romney's Mormon underwear never really caught on. Because religion is sacred, perhaps? Nobody mentions John McCain's floppy right arm. Why? Because that's just mean! Not to mention irrelevant. Like the central figure of a rally clapping along with the audience.

But yuck! Political Nanny hates the discussion that begs to know which trumps the other race or gender! Why? Because it pits one group of the historically disenfranchised against another. And it pushes us in that direction of having to choose between race or gender rather than being seen as a statement of the obvious: both black guys and white ladies are capable of leading the country! Instead, it's all: Voted for Hillary? We always knew you didn't fully comprehend racial struggles in America. Voted for Obama? Misogynist pig!

Even worse! The race vs. gender fight isn't fun or engaging or hopeful or forward-thinking. It's narrow and stuck and divisive. Sort of like Congress under mega-partisan Bush.

Which brings us back to Hardball and to Philosophical Discussion Topic Card #38: If Chris Matthews falls in a forest and nobody hears him, does he make a sound?

Answer: Let's give it a try.

(Hat tip to Jezebel for bringing the Hardball segment to our attention.)

Barackula! -- Obama's Story as Vampire Musical

Madeline Holler — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 12:32:00 GMT

Though Democratic delegate counts are nearly tied, there is a clear frontrunner in terms of candidates who inspire a large contingency of creative types: Barack Obama. He's got the girl, the buzzy star-studded video, and now he has his own musical.

A vampire musical, no less. (Not to quibble, but the vampire genre is tiring. Let's hope he soon inspires something a little more Fossey!)

Barackula (he's even got the best name for neologisms and plays on words -- O-mentum, for example) takes place during Barack's time at Harvard Law School. It's directed by Mike Lawson and uses Obama's own inspiring words as a source for materail. This political horror film tells the young law student's "having to stave off a secret society of vampires at Harvard when he was inducted into presidency at the Harvard Law Review in 1990."

From MTV.com

Lawson described the film as a mixture of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video and "Jesus Christ Superstar," and it features a pair of original musical numbers, both co-written by Sherman, which make undead allusions to some of Obama's current campaign themes. In the funk-rock-gospel tune "Running," Sherman croons, "The name's Barack Obama/ Just named president of Harvard's law review/ It should be a time of celebration/ But my life's in danger/ My association with a secret society that's after me won't let me go, won't let me be/ So I'm running, I'm running across Harvard's lawn." (It sounds a lot smoother when he sings it, trust us.)

Subtle!

It's only 10 minutes long and should debut online in the next couple of weeks.

Photo: vH1.com

Who Loves You, Campaign Baby? (Rambo, Porn Stars and Writers, That's Who)

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:23:00 GMT

Running for president is not a popularity contest. Oh, wait, it is! And just like high school this competition hinges on the backing of other popular kids. This year's election has been a veritable Endorsement Bonanza. Everybody is getting in on it, no matter what their relevance levels, which for most, in Political Nanny's estimation, peaked somewhere between 1983-1989.

So for every Maya Angelou that steps up to stump for Hillary Clinton, there's a Toni Morrison who thinks you should vote for Barack Obama. Mike Huckabee's campaign took off after Chuck Norris promised to kick campaign butt. Now Hulk Hogan is throwing his weight around to encourage support for Obama. Rounding out the Aging Muscle-Man endorsements is Ric Flair, also for Huckabee, and Sylvester Stallone, a McCain man, naturally (this endorsement suspiciously coincided with the release of Stallone's latest Rambo movie).

This year's backers come in all shapes, sizes and professions. Here are a few more:

Vampirist Anne Rice and barrister-cum-crime-novelist John Grisham heart Clinton.

Porn star and writer of "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" Jenna Jameson would like to tell you how to vote like a porn star -- casting a ballot for Hillary Clinton. She has her reasons. Of course, Porn Stars are not a monolith. Savanna Samson wanted to toss her lot to Rudy Giuliani, but his campaign climaxed prematurely and made a huge mess. Equally deflated is King of Porn, Hustler's Larry Flynt, who made his sweet love for Dennis Kucinich well known. Now, all Flynt has left are a few good memories of what might have been.

There was, of course, the Grande Dame of endorsers -- Oprah for Obama. Here are some other celebrity endorsements (a couple of which are even 21st-Century relevant)

Kevin Bacon - John Edwards
Donnie and Marie Osmond - Mitt Romney (Political Nanny KNEW he'd have someone!)
Lance Armstrong - John Edwards
John Mayer - Ron Paul (that body of thought is a wonderland)
Jeff Gordon - Rudy Giuliani
Bo Derek - Rudy Giuliani (eh. 7.5)
50 Cent - Hillary Clinton (word?)
Adam Sandler - Rudy Giuliani
Martha Stewart - Hillary Clinton (you OK with that, Hillary?)
George Clooney - Barack Obama (double swoon)
Harry Belafonte - John Edwards (daylight come and he went home ...)
Wilford Brimley - John McCain (dinosaurs, unite!)
Scarlett Johansson - Barack Obama

You're relevant to Political Nanny no matter when you peaked. Whose endorsement are you endorsing? Whose endorsement do you find stunning?

Thanks to BuzzFeed

Hillary: Send Me to Prison

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton said in an interview that her dream would be to compete on America's Next Top Model. She admits, though, she wouldn't have much of a chance. Now, Political Nanny doesn't like to traffic in the superficial, but, since Hillary brought it up? Yeah, not a chance.

However, the former first lady and presidential hopeful thinks she could go all the way as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, and we don't see why not. Especially, as she says, if she gets one of the really good pros. (Oh, but not if Barack Obama is one of her competitors. In that competition? He'd be ready to lead his rhumba partner on Day 1.)

Clinton tackled these and other difficult topics with Tyra Banks earlier this week in a taping for Bank's eponymous talk show. Her interview airs Friday (check for local times ... or check in with Political Nanny, who vows to set up the Political Nanny Cam and bring the video to you.)

Other interesting tidbits: Clinton likened the White House to a prison. Some outtakes (thanks L.A. Times Top of the Ticket):

"Do you ever get lonely?" Banks asked the New York senator. "Do you ever sit in your room by yourself sometimes and just feel alone?"....

"I don't feel lonely," Clinton said. "But I do feel sometimes isolated. Because when you are in these positions that I have been in, it can be very isolating. It is one of the reasons I put on the dark glasses and the baseball cap and go out of the White House. President Harry Truman once said that the White House was like the crown jewel of the American penal system because you can feel confined."

The two also talked about what Bill Clinton should be called if he winds up the First Spouse, and whether she -- remember, future Dancing with the Stars hopeful -- does hip hop or knows the Soulja Boy or the Spongebob dance.

Well what did you expect? Oprah?

Elsewhere on Political Nanny's Playground ...

Club Dem Refuses Race Bait, One Calls Bush 'Pathetic', and Island Survival Strategies

The Democratic candidates clobbered not each other in the debates last night but two of the reps from the media. Brian Williams and Tim Russert tried hard to keep racial discord alive in their early round of questions for Clinton and Obama. But the candidates refused to be baited, bragged on the Democratic party, blah, blah. They defended each other, for example, against how their statements had been reported in the media (Barack on Russert's claim that last night's pledge to take troops out of Iraq was a change from earlier refusals to make such a pledge). They offered excuses for insinuating racism and claims of misusing historic icons being brought up in the first place. (Clinton: “We both have exuberant and sometimes uncontrollable supporters ...”)

Sure, the debate was something of a snoozer (though Political Nanny perked up when Hillary Clinton described Bush, on his trip to Saudi Arabia, as "pathetic" and "begging for lower oil prices.") The questions got so banal that toward the end candidates were asked their strengths and weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses? Even a teenager looking for work at a video store knows how to answer that one. "I refuse to stop working until the job is done" (Clinton gave her version of that) ... I've been told I'm committed to a fault!" (Edward's take on this "weakness" classic.) Political Nanny was fully expecting them to have to tell Russert the one item they'd like to have with them if they were ever stranded on a deserted island. (A book on shipbuilding, of course!) Mercifully, there was a commercial break.

Michigan

Mitt Romney stays in the GOP race, winning 39 percent of the Republican vote in his boyhood state of Michigan. Headlines 'round the nation say this win, Romney's first, and yet another candidate with a first-place finish in these early states, "scrambles the GOP field." McCain came in second with 30 percent of the vote. Political Nanny's glad these candidates will push on for more of the statewide contests.

Also in Michigan, Hillary, the only of the three frontrunners whose name appeared on the ballot, got 55 percent of the Democratic vote. Uncommitted (code for Edwards or Obama) got 40 percent.

You Vote Like a Girl

Madeline Holler — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:59:00 GMT

Oh, ladies! You fickle registered voters! You suffragists with a soft spot! Illogical! Emoooootional! So (once in a while) devoted to your Grrrl Power!

Late last week, many a written tear was shed over Hillary Clinton’s surprise win. Trails of mascara streaked down puffy-faced blogs and newspapers. The votes of many, many New Hampshire women came under close scrutiny and were resoundingly second-guessed. No WAY did all those gals want Hillary for president! Not for reals. These sweet, caring, sympathetic (read: female) babes just didn't want to see Clinton cry. :(

But don't worry, theorizer of the Grrrlfriend Posse – wherein a roving band of one asked our girl a personal question to get her all choked up. Settle down, those of you who suspect that the tears were forced. Not for a moment will Hillary's tearful, childish, emotional manipulation -- meant clearly to prey on the fairer American voter's biologically fickle nature and DNA-given perogative to change her mind -- send her to the White House. Barack Obama can easily reclaim the female half of the voting population -- what Political Nanny likes to think of as "voters-lite". Why?

Because Senator is fine!

We all know how seductive power can be to a straight woman. And when that power is bestowed in a man with those looks! With such skill holding babies! With these dance moves! Oh, get the smelling salts. Even Political Nanny is feeling light-headed.

What does all this mean? Well, if the female vote is as uncommitted/wavering/sympathetic/overly sensitive/tied to the heart as the press would have us thinking last week, it means Hillary Clinton is going to have to do a whole lot of crying – sobbing really – to hold on to their votes. It has nothing to do with the issues, or winning or political opinions of one's own. It's all about a passion for politics (if you get Political Nanny's drift). Barack is just THAT hot!

Let's hope, for Hillary's sake, that Barack doesn't pull out a handkerchief and dab at her cheeks when she schedules a meltdown in South Carolina. Oh, how the ladies in the voting booth will grab hold of his lever and start tugging!

What can the other candidates do to get a little of this girl action? Dennis Kucinich could stop making out with his hot wife! (She makes us feel ugly!) And John Edwards, well, he's got that sensitive man thing going. So, why not show us a little leg like Obama and shed a few tears like Clinton. Who knows what the picky voter chicks will go for next!

Ultrasound Canceled! It's Still the First Trimester

Madeline Holler — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:20:00 GMT

If only we could hold a sonogram wand against the belly of this election beast, the sex of the next president, and the size of his/her win, could be accurately predicted. But the campaigns are still developing, it's early in the race, and this election has crappy health insurance. We'll have to wait and count votes to see who actually emerges from the mess.

A tough lesson for those in the news business! Pundits and political writers relied on old wives' tales this week to try to predict the details of the nation's first primary before it was even over. They observed whether New Hampshire carried its primary low or high, they peed in glass jars and mixed it with Dran-O, they relied on polls that gave Barack Obama double-digit leads. Then they painted the nursery blue.

Boy, are they pissed. It’s a girl!

Why? How? Where did it all go so wrong?

For your very uncommitted, undecided Political Nanny, this aftermath of the "surprise" "comebacks" (well, maybe for McCain) in the New Hampshire primaries has been more fun than a baby shower with no games AND an open bar. Political Nanny hated all the frenzy and frothing at the mouth that followed Iowa and led up to New Hampshire. She’s hoping, audaciously, for a little more caution going into South Carolina and eventually to Feb. 5, Super Tuesday.

But the fun! The fun! Maureen Dowd, a die-hard Clinton-hater, bawled like a girl after the results and speculated that New Hampshire ladies sopped up Hillary’s tears with sympathy votes. We're laughing so hard we're crying, Maureen.

Others, like Salon’s Rebecca Traister, navigate us through the makings of an anti-Hillary pile-on. The details -- from prologue to postscript – are so compelling, you’ll never take a thing Chris Matthews says seriously again (not that you have for a verrrrrrry long time).

Politico offers this mea culpa and explanation for why journalists got it wrong. It’s refreshing in its candor, delightful in its self-loathing. A sample:

Our own publication, Politico, did its part in promoting several of these flimsy story lines. We used predictive language in stories. We amplified certain trends and muffled the caveat, which perhaps should be printed with every story, like a surgeon general’s warning: “We don’t know what will happen until voters vote.”

And for some nasty fun, watch the blooper videos from Slate. Be patient, Anderson Cooper looks like a total ass in the final clip (and why Gloria Borger keeps trying to make her point, we can only guess). The collection also includes an NBC correspondent's confession that, regarding Obama, it's difficult to be objective. Yikes!

You know, the gestation of an election is supposed to take some time. It’s not supposed to be decided by fewer than 1 million people (just under 800,000 to be more specific) in two different states. How ridiculous would it be to have all but one candidate drop out at this point – before the bulk of the country (remember, the population is over 300 million) could help narrow the field? How fat and swollen and pre-diabetic and endless and post-due would a general election feel in that case? Schedule an induction, STAT!

So, call the lab, cancel the next ultrasound, and have a little fun. Let’s take the presumed advice of an election midwife: eat right and drink plenty of fluids, exercise moderation, avoid polls and negative campaigning. Above all else, give the horse-race analysis a rest and try to enjoy this very special, very magical time that only happens once every four years of your life.

And now, a tribute, to a Political Nanny fave, Bill Richardson. He has withdrawn from his race for president. No, we never thought he’d actually make it to the White House (now THERE’S a prediction even Political Nanny feels was safe to make), but we liked him behind the microphone. In the most recent debate – the one right before the New Hampshire primaries – he was funny, smart, and able to get the discussion back to the issues. Even though he won’t be the Commander in Chief, we get the feeling he’ll nonetheless be moving to D.C. for a job about this time next year. Political Nanny will pack your toys and change of clothes, little Bill, and have them sent to you there.

Finally, this tidbit:

John Kerry has endorsed Barack Obama, not his former play- and running-mate John Edwards. On the one hand, that's sad for Edwards, on the other hand, does a Kerry endorsement have much weight? Hey, Political Nanny is just asking!

Photo: BBC.co.uk

Primary's Baby: N.H. Girl Stalks the Candidates

Madeline Holler — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:47:00 GMT

You can tell a lot about a presidential candidate by the way s/he holds a baby. OK, not really. But we're going to deeply analyze it anyway. Why? Because it's fun, because it's naughty, because Political Nanny wishes SHE would have thought of doing what this forward-thinking and shameless contributor to Slate has done.

Darren Garnick, a New Hampshire resident, hauled his five-week-old daughter Dahlia to campaign events around his home state, handing her over to candidates and capturing the moment in a stillshot. The results? Fabulous! The slide show is at once a marvelous demonstration of parenting at its least protective and political coverage at its weakest. In other words, refreshing!

First up is Barack Obama, who winds up holding Dahlia on two different occasions -- the first time in a sweet (and completely competent) traditional infant cradle hold, the second time while Dahlia wears a "Black Power" bib at a rally. Let's look at the cradle hold: Obama is clearly a man who put in the hours with his own kids. He's got two, but they're young and there's not a lot of distance between daily baby-holding and this picture. (We need to keep that in mind when we look at the pics of some campaign trail parents whose own days of second-nature infant handling (the floppy necks!) are decades behind them.) At the rally, Garnick reports that Obama kissed Dahlia's forehead (melt) and then held her up for cheers.

Next up, Rudy Giuliani is stuck with the screeching girl in a fleece pumpkin costume. He looks like he's going to drop her, but he hangs on tight. He was at a disadvantage -- how do you securely snuggle with a squirmy winter vegetable? Let's not judge Rudy too harshly.

Then there's John McCain, who launches the beginning of a curious trend in the baby holds: he's circled his thumb and four fingers around one of Dahlia's legs. Political Nanny doesn't recall doing this with her babes. Perhaps it's an older generation male thing? Because Edwards, Kucinich and (look closely) Romney are doing it too. Political Nanny is not saying it's harmful, just curious. Did they learn this in a Kissing the Baby workshop at Let's Play President summer camp?

What you really want to know, though, is something about Hillary Clinton's baby snuggling chops. Well, hold your "cold-heart" comments, she does just fine with Dahlia, who gazes right into the mother-of-one's eyes. Sure, there's a bit of stiffness in the hold, but Hillary's kid is pushing 30. Maybe it's been awhile. Please note, however, that Hillary is doing that protective palm-around-the-shoulders upper hand thing, which Political Nanny always appreciates when strangers hold her little ones.

In addition to the leg-grip, Mitt Romney does the fingers-around-the-neck upright baby display so competently, he'd make any OB/Gyn proud (except maybe Ron Paul). Garnick notes that the picture, which includes Romney's wife, looks like the New Hampshire father is giving up Dahlia for adoption to a rich white couple. Agreed!

Finally, we see Huckabee and Chuck Norris in a horizontal split-screen shot. Huckabee's doing the hands-under-armpits-with-dangling legs hold (baby facing outward), while Chuck Norris has turned his arm into a seat, allowing Dahlia to rest against his chest. He lays a hand -- it's a registered weapon! -- protectively against her chest. Well done, Chuck, well done!

Garnick didn't get Dahlia into the arms of Fred Thompson (who didn't do much in New Hampshire) or Duncan Hunter (what a relief!) or Ron Paul (coulda shown Mitt a thing or two). And he admits Mike Gravel freaks him out, so he didn't stand a chance. But Political Nanny is grateful for the slideshow and its insight. How will the candidates handle Iraq? Who cares! How are they going to cuddle the nation?

Photo: Slate.com

Use Your Words: This Election's Label for the Voting Baby Mama

Madeline Holler — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 23:18:00 GMT

How will campaign strategists and the label-loving media lump together voting mothers this presidential election? Mercifully, “soccer moms” and their white sneakers are no longer the go-to stereotype for all women with kids. (Mrs. Beckham's heels and British passport wrecked that cliche.)

And that trembling “security mom,” who clutched child to breast and gave every dark-skinned air-traveler the once-over, seems also to have exited the stage.

Here’s my guess: this election, candidates will be courting any child-bearing woman with a laptop and an opinion. Send your friend an email detailing the sordid Edwards dream you had last night and they’ll nail you as an online activist or mommy blogger.

Campaign managers will try to understand your interests, leverage your support, get you to be their candidate’s spokesperson for millions and millions of “like-minded mothers!”

Watch for the media’s sweeping generalizations about our fast-paced lives, our willingness to share news analysis alongside vacation photos, our love of shoes, anything pink and the tough talk/hard line/big ideas/forward thinking of INSERT CANDIDATE’S NAME HERE.

But, seriously, what do we all really have in common? Bandwidth?

And Daddies? Don’t expect equal treatment. You'll only get attention if you watch NASCAR. I don’t care what you write in your blog, you’re still just a male voter and, as a father, you will be ignored.