Straight From the Bottle

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Everyone needs time alone and you will be a better parent for it.  Archer can be your world, but you can also have other things in it -- the world is big,, darlin' --- room for lots of things.  Go to the park today and just chill with your boy.

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Everyone needs time alone and you will be a better parent for it.  Archer can be your world, but you can also have other things in it -- the world is big,, darlin' --- room for lots of things.  Go to the park today and just chill with your boy.

i am jealous of your freedom you enjoyed! i am not so sure i could do it but i would love to sometimes! it sounds like you had a blast and archer seemed to have one too so it was all worth it!!!!!

I think you are so right- everyone expects moms to give up themselves for their child- not that you wouldn't do anything for your child but you have to do for yourself too.  I believe that time away and focusing on you for awhile makes you a better mom so good for you girl!!

You are so awesome. You pretty much encapsulate every feeling I have ever had about motherhood in your blogs. Not only do I feel guilty for wanting(and enjoying) freedom, but Other people tend to make me feel like hell as well. I love my son more than anything else, but you are absolutely right, he's not my life. You rock.

After that freedom, we didn't die on the plane... We win. Awesome to be back home to Brody too - emailing you next week. Keep Austin Weird!

It is really hard the first time away from your children! Remember - it's just as healthy for them to have some time away as it is for you!

That's such a great picture of Archer, btw.

ahhh freedom.. it's important Rebecca... and Archer will learn this from you.

Mike! My partner in holy-shit-we-almost-died-in-a-plane-crash! Hello, dude!

And thank you all for not roasting me. I always think I'm going to get "you shitty mother, you" hate mail after posting posts such as this. Turns out? We're all dealing with the same shit.

It's a relief.

x

I used to send me now ten year old to stay with my mom every finals week when I was a single mom in college- I got so much shit for it from some people. I never understood it at all! and I missed him, but i LOVED it so much- I got to be that college girl with no curfew like everyone else. Now I have another toddler and am too far away to send him with someone for a night! Enjoy it if you can and fuck everyone who tries to make you feel bad.

I too, give my child to my parents during finals and term-paper weeks. being a single mom, there aren't many other options, except to fail all of my classes miserably and drop out of college and start my lifelong career at Wal-Mart. But he loves it. And my parents love it. And I pass all my classes. Everybody wins!

Your story broke my heart.  I have a 7 mo son and the sad reality is that he is an individual and someday I will have to let him experience the world on his own. I'll need to expand my social participation as well and get back to doing some of the things I love that don't inlcude him.  As it is I work full-time away from home.  I go to his daycare everyday and take milk and/or feed him. As side from that and a couple of hours here and there, we're pretty much tethered to each other.  If I'm away from him for too long I get panicky. Who knew that you could simultaneously experience great joy and deep sadness at the same time.

It's a cliche to say that motherhood is a juggling act, but there is truth to it. To become responsible for another little human being throws your life out of balance. Finding time for yourself without your child helps restore that balance; it is parents who have that need and never acknowledge or satisfy it who end up making their own children's lives terribly unbalanced (making your child "your life" isn't fair to either of you). I'm so glad you got to go away, to have fun -- and then come home to Archer. No guilt is necessary.

Wow - could you have touched on a more personal nerve for me???  I think not...I have been struggling with my feelings on "joint custody"...I can't tell anyone because I fear they will all think I'm the most horrible mother...But...I love sharing my son...I get the best of both worlds...Monday & Wednesday with me, Tuesday & Thursday he's with Dad and we each take every other weekend..Even as I write this I'm scared I will come back and someone will comment on my comment that I'm the worlds worst mom - but in my heart - I love my son more than the world and life combined - I just think that I'm the best mom to him when I still have days where I can think in adult thoughts and enjoy my adult space (and not adult in the XXX sense - just in the reading things like Bitter is the New Black rather than Good Night Moon for the 8 millionth time)..Society on so many levels makes things so black and white - but I want to be a shade of grey and not feel guilty for it....Therefore I think you shouldn't feel guilty - time away is healthy - and keeps you the best mom you can be.

Anonymous-

I felt the same way writing this post. I was so afraid someone was going to judge me but look! So many people can relate and understand. I wonder how many of us keep these feelings bottled up because we are afraid to be judged or seen as less than extraordinary parents.

My friend, Romi and I have started a site: truemomconfessions.com... It's not up yet but will be soon and we will be featuring a different confession every week so people like you (and me) don't feel so alone in our feelings, because the thing is? We're not alone.

I think you sound like an amazing mother and also an individual and its nice to have the space. Adult time is so important. I know that now. And I'm going to appreciate my freedom when there is room (and time) to fly...

x

Guess what time it is? Happy hour! And by happy hour I mean "happiness hour" (I'm done with drinking for a while). Last night my husband and I had "the talk"... The talk that all stressed-out, unhappy couples have when they are at the end of their rope

Dam you made me cry!!!!!!  Thank you.  And thanks for buying a HOT WIFE shirt cause if you hadn't I would never have found out about you and that makes me want to cry in a different way.  (ok time to man up and stop the dam tears!!)

The nanny is here. Today is her first day and she's right over there on the other side of the room. She's playing with my child. Puzzles, actually. He's laughing. I'm supposed to be working. And blogging about something else. Something totally different.