Straight From the Bottle

Wean off the stroller?  That is the first time I have ever heard someone say that.  If I could bribe my two year old to ride in the stoller, I would.  Miss Independent won't have any of that though.  

I think kicks to the groin are far better.  Male, or female.

oh... didnt you hear the new thing is that temper tantrums are so in. Its the newest most coolest thing among toddlers.  

I think you are missing the point of the stroller.  My 5 yr old still rides on the back of the Joovy.  Why?  Because it saves my sanity and I can keep track of my children.  My 19 month old is allowed to walk but is told that if he doesnt stay with me then he goes back into the stroller.  He is getting it, but often ends up in the stroller throwing his tantrum.  It is a safe place for them to scream, kick, holler, and bring on the hell without killing you or you killing them.  And if you don't need the stroller at the moment, it is perfect for carrying all your stuff without the granny cart.

I beg you to rethink the whole stroller weaning.  There is enough time for all that when they are in college.

Gotta love the tantrum.

I guess great minds think alike - I just published an ode to the tantrum on my blog on Sunday - www.donmillsdiva.blogspot.com

I made the mistake of rhapsodizing about the purity of the tantrum only to have karma kick my ass the next day when the MOTHER of all tantrums presented itself at 5:30 a.m. the next morning - oh joy.

I've asked my children to save all their tantrums for the moment we arrive at daycare. There is nothing like making a grand entrance. It says look at the ray of sunshine I'm bringing for you to look after and it makes it a hell of a lot easier to zip off to the office with my large coffee.

There's something very empowering about the attitude you express in this piece. My seven-month-old is still quite peaceful when we're out in public, but my 11-year-old daughter was never the tantrum thrower, so I'm a bit nervous about what we're in for with my little guy. And I guess that's the trap some parents fall into: they're afraid of the public scene, so they give in to the tyrant, and the tantrum cycle is set. (Of course I know that some parents don't give in to tantrums at all and still have to deal with them...)

I just really like the idea of mentally saying, "Oh yeah? You're going to kick and scream right here on the floor at Target so that they can hear you 10 aisles away? Knock yourself out! I LIVE for this!" We just need to remind ourselves that we CAN take whatever they dish out, and still keep loving them.

This is an awesome post.

Ahh yes, the terrible twos...not a myth.

I love it!!!

I egg my son on too...

"Is that all ya got...raisin boy!!!"

usually about the time I get around to  saying "ya know what...That's a good one..but I kinda invented that one...can you be a little more origiginal???"  He is usually laughing instead of crying and he forgets what he was so damn upset about...I dont remind him it was because he wants a banana at 9 PM and I dont have anymore and I cant go to the store at than exact moment.

I went through this almost every day as my son was learning to communicate effectively. Think of it as trying to talk to someone who never listens to you. They don't have all the words to express what they want or are aggravated about so they freak out. The more words he learned the better it got. I also got a book called The Happiest Toddler On The Block, by Harvey Karp. The basic premise is to tell them over and over why you think they are upset and then redirect them.  "You dropped the raspberry, you dropped the raspberry, you dropped the raspberry, you dropped the raspberry, here is another one." Use only a few words with a kind tone of voice. Sounds crazy but it works. Good Luck!  

There have been tantrums where I start laughing and can't stop, because it's just so hilarious how ANGRY one little person can get.  Which of course doesn't help, because then he gets angry at being laughed at...  Ignoring works best, I've heard, but is so hard to do, because of course then you feel like you're still encouraging the bad behavior.  Ugh.  Wake me up when he's 40 or so.

Ha ha, cheering on the tantrum, I love it! Try getting on the floor and kicking and screaming with the kid, that's fun too! Very cathartic. I only do that at home, of course. In public I walk away and eventually the kid gets up and follows.

Rebecca: I'm such a fan. You really make me feel less alone out here.

Julian's mom: "Is that all you got... raisin boy?" I can't remember the last time I've laughed so hard! I'm going to try that tonight with my little hellraiser.

Being that Adam is only 10 months old we really haven't had to deal with existential and emotional meltdowns which is good since he scares the living hell out of me. How could this happen to me? Here’s the Tale of the Tape: I’m a formidable 6’0” while Adam can still stand under the dining room table without hitting his head. I tip the scales at 190 lbs and compete in the Cruiserweight division while at 21 lbs Adam barely falls into the Butterball Oven-Roasted Division. My 74 inch reach supports a devastating jab-uppercut combination yet while during a rendition of the YMCA at a recent wedding Adam had to conveniently “get some air” rather than embarrass himself by spelling out Y-M-C-Y with his stubby arms. Why is it then that the sight of him Terminator crawling towards me across the living room floor yelling like Howard Dean at a Democratic Caucus makes me break out in a cold sweat? Ignore? I usually just run away...

My kids are older now so the tantrum stage is mostly behind us, making room for the ever so popular "I'm a teenager-now-rolling-of-the-eyes-making-you-feel-like-a-freak-parent-because-you-accidentally-hiccupped-near-a-cashier-at-Target-who's-someone's-older-sister" stage. (Good Lord, how could I be so insensitive?)

However, when our kids did throw those lovely tantrums, in public or not, my husband and I would grade them on a scale of 1-10...out loud. And egg them on, knowing they could do better. Most of the time, it sort of sucked the steam right out of them. After a while, they got bored and the tantrums soon stopped. Now we do it for fun around the dinner table...see who can whine or complain the loudest. (My husband is surprisingly good at this...). Hmmm...

I love this post. My son is just over 2yo, and though he's never thrown an all-out tantrum in a public place, he just let one rip a little while ago in our living room. And you know what I did? I screamed and stomped my feet and made myself look like a kook, just like him. And the next thing I know, I was the only one screaming and stomping my feet -- DS was standing there, staring awestruck at me. Then I scooped him up and hugged him, and whatever it was that got him going seemed to have disappeared.

Usually, I ask him to slow down and use words to tell mommy why he's mad. Lately, this is working better and better, as he's more able to communicate.

I agree with the comment, too, that this post is empowering. I dare any person to look at me with disdain when/if my child is throwing a tantrum in a public place.

raisin boy.  that's funny.

I've got a V. dramatic 3 yr old who can throw some wicked fits.  I usually find a corner or a step for her, place her there and calmy tell her that when she's ready she can talk to me and I'll usually sit down beside her quietly and wait.  A few times all I could do was protect her head when she starts doing the funky monkey (simular to epeleptic fit).  Better out than in!  Stares, get them lots and love them.  I do have to say, she doesn't totally flip out as much anymore and I'm hoping we are approaching a new chapter in toddler-dom.  

I'm a little apprehensive about my 20 month twin boys though.  They have been laid back guys so far and only freak out occasionaly.  When they do usually the distraction technique works.  I will never attempt any type of stroller weaning.  

Today marked the third week of life without Lauren , which means we're halfway through our six-week nanny hiatus. Months ago, Lauren was awarded a prestigious internship on a blockbuster film which is par for the course when you're nanny is literally