Everything Was Going Fine Until Archer Ran Away
The other day Archer ran away. Apparently he had no desire to wait for me to get Fable into her sling and leash the dogs so he simply unlocked and opened the front door and fled the scene while I was in the kitchen filling my pockets with plastic grocery bags.
I realized he was gone as soon as I entered the living room. I went out on the porch where he usually sits, waiting but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t in the front yard, either. I scurried down the stairs only to see him a block down the street, his little orange shirt disappearing around a corner.
I screamed for him but no answer. No orange shirt reappearing… He was pissed off, acting out, flexing his independence… saying in short, “fuck you, mom… I don’t want to wait for you and the baby… I want to walk NOW. By myself.”
I quickly grabbed Fable and as fast as I could while clutching an infant, went after him, front door of the house wide open. For the record, one cannot exactly run with a newborn baby in her hands so I walked. I walked after my son who by now could have been anywhere. I panicked. I turned the corner and he was nowhere to be seen. Would he cross the street without me? Had he planned on going our usual walk-route or was he on his way to Jamba Juice — a frequent mother-son date of ours…?
I called his name again and nothing. And then louder, screaming his name again and again, picking up speed, until finally I spotted him, a block up the road, running like the wind.
He turned around, smirked and then went back to running away. Finally, at the end of the block he collapsed in the grass and kicked off his shoes, a sure sign of strike. I knew once I caught up with him I’d have a hard time getting him to walk home. I was hysterical. Furious. Hurt. Sad and honest to God, wanting nothing more than to kill him. I tried to explain to him without screaming that he can’t just GO RUNNING AWAY LIKE THAT AND SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!!???
After five minutes of trying to pull him up by his arms to walk him home, Archer finally agreed to follow me. He said nothing on the walk back and when we caught sight of home, he once again went running towards the door. He slipped into the house, slammed the door behind him and OMG, you have to be kidding me right now, locked Fable and me outside. Without so much as a key or a cell phone.
I knocked a thousand times on the door.
“Archer let us in!”
But Archer just laughed. That’s when I really lost it. Slumped in front of my door, I cried. I cried loud enough for Archer to hear me.
“What’s wrong, Mommy? Why are you crying?” said Archer, his voice muffled by the big red door.
“Please open up, Archer. Let us in…”
And he did. He unlocked the front door and let Fable and me in. And so went an hour lecture involving many tears, angry screams, kisses, hugs and finally naptime… And when Hal came home another lecture, group hug — more tears.
Later that night Archer came up to me and said he was sorry. “No more running away, kay mommy? I sorry, Mommy. I sorry, baby Fable.”
“Thank you, bug.”
Just in case, though? Door will be deadbolted from here on out and I will hereby remember to knock on wood after proclaiming “how perfect everything is and no, Archer isn’t acting out even slightly, aren’t I so lucky?!”
Because, yeah.
Yeah.
***
OMG…I have been there and it is soooo frightening…I can’t remember anything scaring me as much as not knowing where my child is. When my daughter Erin was 2or 3 we laid down for a nap and I fell asleep. When I woke up I found her clothes and poopy pants on the floor and the front door open. The neighbors searched, the police were called. She was found 2 blocks away (a lady saw her and took her up on her porch). She had put on her big sisters underpants and had both legs thru one hole and had taken her Ms. Beasley for a walk. We put a chain lock on the door up high and also locks on the back yard gates. You are not alone. Toddlers can do unpredictable things. You are taking the precautions you need to. Hugs.
I’m sorry, that really sucks. That’s rough.
Oh my. I’m so sorry. I would have been a total wreck and would have been so torn between wringing his neck and grateful he was okay.
My 2.5 year old is acting out already: “I don’t want the baby in Mommy’s belly”. And I’m only 11 weeks pregnant. I can’t imagine what she has in store for when the baby actually comes.
I think we might need a few extra door locks…
oh bejesus. lots of hugs for you!!!
Could you also hang (very high) an emergency key to remember to grab anytime you’re running out blind like that? It might not help–I know if I was running out to find my guy if he wandered away, I probably wouldn’t even notice if I was stark naked, let alone think to grab a key…
But just a thought as another way to prevent disaster. Cause man, the little ones DO invite disaster…
Oh wow – has your heart rate come back down yet????
I bet there is more hardware now on your front door than in a home improvement store.
Glad no one was physically hurt…
Oh, man, I’m so sorry. How frustrating. I’m glad everything turned out ok. One day it will be a laughingly-told story.
=(
I think this is one of those things that the child development people would call a good sign as far as Archer’s growth as a person. Though I can’t for the life of me remember why right now cause holy crap, what mother wouldn’t be absolutely freaking furious?
Oh man, that makes me nauseus.
But on another note, I’m SO impressed that you’re taking dogs, infant, and pre-schooler out for walks already!
Yeah, I would be totally torn between being thankful he was OK, and wanting to kill him for causing my heart attack. At least after M was born I could just kennel the dog if she was being bad. Maybe I’ll just stick to one of them.
Ack. My son did that to his step-mother (my wife). Locked her out with his her and hist little sister on the doorstep. She calmly turned around, and walking off down the street. 10 yards later, he came running out, all scared, not knowing what do to, and BUSTED! She caught him by the hand, and marched everyone back into the house.
She’s got mad skills
.
But yeah, a child running away is no fun at all.
I call my 3 year old “bug”, too!
Bad Archer! He gave me a heart attack just reading the post’s title. I’m so glad to hear he’s back and OK.
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I hate it when my child does this at the store, even if it’s only one isle over. But through another neighborhood?
But I’m so happy that he’s ok and safe at home with you. That’s all that matters.
I so feel your pain. When I was mega pregnant with Eli, caleb disappeared when I was in the garage throwing in some laundry. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I called 911 and freaked the fuck out. Every horrible thing imaginable went through my head. Did someone steal him from our yard? DId he climb a wall? The front door was deadbolted and chained, so it wasn’t that. About 15 minutes into my call and waiting for the police to arrive I heard him crying. He was under our house. We had a plumber out the day before and he forgot to cover up the crawlspace entrance. I could not get down there with my huge belly and had to wait another 15 minutes for the fire department to arrive and pull him to safety. He was fine thank God.
My almost two year old son recently locked me in the laundry room while my husband was out of town so no one was coming for me. He could not figure out how to unlock it and from the inside of the laundry room it requires a key. The lock is not one that can be popped.
There is a small, thick window into the kitchen (which was locked) and a window to the outside. I am on the 7th floor in a foreign country. I yelled and yelled out the window and all the Koreans, including the building security,just kept walking. Finally, an American boy walked by and I asked him to get security. He went to the security guy who told him he didn’t have the key to my place and couldn’t do anything and then the security guy walked away from the boy. Our doors have electronic keys and codes. He could have gotten in, but chose not to help. Maybe he didn’t understand, but he didn’t walked towards me, the pregnant adult hanging out the 7th floor window, he just walked away. So, I asked the boy to get his mother and I yelled the door code down to her and she rescued me. My only other option was to try to break the window into the kitchen or break the door.
Very scary.
when i read the title i pictured archer packing a train toy into a red bandana and tying it to the end of a stick. then as i read the post my heart was pounding. i knew he was safe because i’m sure you wouldn’t be casually blogging if he was still missing but OH MY GOD how freakin’ scary. glad it all ended fine. phew.
How scary! And I`m sure you aren`t up to running after him just yet even without the baby!
The good thing is . . . the honeymoon period is over . . . now you know a bit more as to what to expect.
Good luck!
When my sister was pregnant with her third child, my niece, who was 3-1/2 at the time, would run away in the mall. Luckily, my nephew was 7, and could run after her. Like you said, it’s an “acting out because things are different and mommy is vulnerable” thing.
Nice. If a child of mine pulled that stunt he would be in deep shit. Archer knew better than that. He took advantage of you when you were at your most vulnerable because he’s angry that he’s been “replaced.” Forget the birthday cake and the gifts and all the extra attention. That doesn’t mean squat to him. The more you flatter and cajole him the more power he’ll have.
I’m not saying you should hit him. I never, ever, under any circumstances hit my kids. It’s totally wrong and it only teaches them that might makes right. I would, however, take away some object that he holds dear and there’d be no more little treats until he proves he able to act like a reliable member of the family.
Jamba Juice my ass. That kind of behavior horrifies me. Anybody could have scooped him up and carted him off.
Yowee. Sibling rivalry and rebellion. Isn’t it fun? And it only gets worse as they get older. It makes me wonder why I didn’t stick to cats. Damn you, biological clock!
BTW, it’s let Fable and me in, not let Fable and I in. You don’t say let I in, do you?
I’ve got a little dasher myself. Since he could walk, he’s dashed – so it has nothing to do with his little brother either. He has mad dexterity skills and will build a tower of chairs to reach the highest lock that even adults have trouble unlocking!
Forget malls or public places…but I do take him to the library which can be full of odd people who frighten me.
I’m glad to hear that you and Archer came to an understanding…I’m not sure how to make B understand that it’s not a game of tag 24/7. When I do have to go to the mall, I tell him that monsters dressed up as people live there…(true, isn’t it though?) Works for a few seconds.
I miss the innocence of my judgy 20-something self when I’d see kids running wild in public places and think “don’t their parents know better?”
typo fixed!
don’t forget about “locked Fable and I outside” that one’s still wrong. Easy rule.
Wow. The grammar police are in full force today.
When my twins were 6, they went through the “I’m running away!” phase. One of them packed a few things and announced she was leaving. We live in a quiet neighborhood with minimal traffic, so I called her bluff. I asked her a few questions to get her thinking (Where will you sleep? Think you’ll be warm enough? Are you taking food with you? How long will it last?) and let her leave. She left me and her sister (who was sobbing) standing on the front porch. She kept looking back at us and made it only about 2 blocks before she came home. Lesson learned. She never pulled that crap again.
It won’t be long before Archer figures out that deadbolt too. I installed one of those latch locks at the top of the door- so when my kids figured out the deadbolt, the door only opens a few inches. It’s also good for when someone knocks on the door and you are in the shower and Archer wants to help mommy by answering! It has saved me much stress. Until they figure out how to open that too!
Dude. I love your grammar. Or is that grammer?
I would have been yelling my ASS off while crying and run/walking as fast as I could. You are a brave woman.
(ps- stop giving archer red bulls and maybe he wont run so fast
Yeah, that’s one reason I had mine 20 years apart.
I put a harness on my toddler when we had a layover at the Atlanta airport on the way to meet my husband in Florida. Yeah, I got a lot of comments (some positive, some critical) but she was a speedy little one and that airport is big with a lot of interesting stores and displays that would attract a little kid’s eye.
Harnesses rule when you’re on your own with a baby and a toddler in a busy public place. We travel a lot and my daughter would have sprinted onto a train in the Paris Metro if she hadn’t been wearing one. Lord knows where she would have ended up and at 30 months she had no clue as to my cell phone number or the name of the hotel where we were staying.
I hope Archer knows his address and your cell phone number.