Straight From the Bottle

The push present is nice, I have to say.  It's like an acknowledgement of the battle you went through to bring this precious baby into the world. And, yes, OF COURSE, the baby is the best gift of all, but the emerald ring (my daughter's birthstone) didn't wake me up in the middle of the night for months and months and months...

P.S. It should totally be called a birth present since c-section scarred mommies deserve them just as much! :)

True that. A "birth present," we shall rename. :)

I never heard of a 'push present' until my best friend got one from her boyfriend.  Since he works at a hospital, he must have heard about that through co-workers.  IMHO, it's just another excuse for more stuff in our very materialistic society. =P  No push present for me although I do joke about it with my hubs. ;)

I find the idea almost crass. I wouldn't begrudge a woman a push present, but the idea of demanding one seems a bit tacky to me. I'm ready to pop over here, and I've been teasing my husband about it. He's been teasing me he'll buy me a nice new pair of big big girl panties to put on so I can get over it.

I've heard of it, and I find it completely ridiculous.  I'm with "coolteamblt," it's almost crass.

Not only did I NOT get a birth/push present, my husband informed me hours after our son's birth that I made some "pretty hilarious" faces during labor. Ouch.

uh, yeah, push present sounds super lame.... was it invented by babycenter? haha

well i never knew it was called a push present, but i actually got one from my husband. we were super broke at the moment but he still got me a diamond pendant (very modest though). there has never been any fighting about it, I guess i took it for granted (not the diamond but the fact that i am getting something).. well i didnt take epidural and i felt like i deserved it...

not to make you jealous, but pushing a baby is a big deal you know)))

I agree with those who find it ridiculous.  REALLY, you need a present to get you through the beauty that is carrying and delivering your precious child?  Just another excuse to get a spend, spend, spend.  No wonder our kids are so spoiled!  

Hmm a push present. I had emergency C-Section the first one and VBAC, no push presents, no birth presents but I did get to bring a baby home both times. That works for me.

I had never ever heard of a "push" gift either until I was pregnant and one of my best friends, L., told me about it. neat idea, but being a single mother led me to believe that umm... that wasn't going to happen.  Hi 5?  sure. gift? no dice.

We ended up window shopping a jewelry store -me and my two ladies. We played hand-dress-up and ended up falling in love with a little simple ring that has four teeny diamonds on it.  im TOTALLY sentimental, and said - "look! one for me, the baby, you and you."

and thus a push gift was born.

I got it at my baby shower, but L. promised this was my push gift.   let me tell you, I dont know how close to being a push gift it really is, but the idea that I had this with me through a pretty scary/emotional/crazy/happy situation makes me feel like I'll always have those three little 'diamonds' - those people - when I need them.

- Aside from that little story - I would totally get my girlfriend a gift if she squoze out a baby, and I were a dude.  But then I'd have a penis....and isn't a penis gift enough?  wait  Crap.   what was I responding to?

In many cultures, a mom gets a gift after giving birth. In Turkey (where I live now), it's often in terms of gold (gold is big in Turkey. Someone gives birth? Give the baby a gold coin. Someone gets married? Gold. Circumcision, yeah, gold again) and is given by either the husband or the MIL. I never got one for either or my sons, but we are not really traditional, yet my grandma still (after 8.5 years!) nags about it - "you had to go thru hours of labor and all they gave you was a card? a card? what are they, American?" It was a cute card, btw :)

If a birth present is crass, then an engagement ring, wedding ring, and any other gifts of any sort are just as crass. There is nothing wrong with saying thank you for losing your figure and enduring quite a bit of pain not just during labor but for the months preceding it to give me a beautiful baby.

Hmmm. Interesting. I find the sentimental stuff awesome. Engraved ring with baby's name? The ring Megg was talking about = LOVE. Awesome awesome love. I always hear people referring to rather superfluous gifts when it comes to push presents like for instance... a nice purse or a watch. I guess that's what I mean by... are they necessary?

I can't stand the concept of the "push" present, and, from what I've seen and heard, it's turned into this horrid, cackling competition -- who's is more expensive, more sentimental, more bling (excuse this grossest of gross trendy words). I think financially expensive, material gifts actually take away from the experience -- how can you reduce -- or "thank" someone for the utterly horrifying but awesome and magical gift of birth with a . . . watch? A bag? Come on.

I love the idea of a tattoo to commemorate a birth, despite the fact that it's been done to death by Hollywood and the Beckhams. I'm thinking of having my daughter's Chinese name (Red Phoenix) tattooed somewhere, but I can't seem to decide on the right place. She was posterior at birth, so maybe my sacrum?

My husband's gifts tend to fall in the "practical" category, and when his sister asked him if he was getting me a push present, he thought that sounded like a dumb idea. Fair enough. However, both my mom and my grandmother gave me modest and fun jewelry as sort of a congratulations (maybe?), and it was nice to have something new and pretty to wear when I still felt like a big, oozy walrus.

I'm really torn about this... Yes, giving birth is a big deal, and certainly an occasion you want to mark in stone, so to speak. But I also find it a little bit crass like some of the ladies... It seems a bit like a marketing ploy by jewelers or something (I know, I know, so are engagement rings).

Hmmm, interesting point Chochomom about the wedding rings, etc.  Here's what I think it really is: the EXPECTATION of a push present is the crass part.  Soon we'll be seeing Kay Jewelers commercials that say "Every Push begins with Kay."  If my husband, of his own accord, wanted to buy my something to thank me, that would be fine.  But I don't want him pressured by society, I don't want to expect anything, etc.  And I don't expect anything.  Yes, I think the expectation is the bad part.  I don't knock anyone for giving a gift, I knock for expecting a gift, or giving the gift grudgingly.

I had heard of them, but my husband and I never discussed them.  He did give me a beautiful pendant after our daughter was born, but my birthday was two days later.  Depending on when you ask him, he'll either say it was my birthday present or a gift for becoming the mother of his child.  Of course, I didn't see anything wrong with this, but there is no way in hell I would have asked for something.  It kind of takes the fun out of it.

I think it is a very sweet gesture to give any new mom a gift to commemorate the journey she's taken. I think any pressure put on partners to SPEND SPEND SPEND, whether from the mom herself or from retailers, is yet another example of mindless consumerism. Ugh.

That being said, my husband got me tickets to Cirque Du Soleil and brought me on a fancy pants date the day our son turned one month. Push present OR elaborate (*and effective*) plan to get me back in the sack a few weeks early??? You be the judge. Either way, we were both happy.

I've heard of them, but I thought it was something wealthy people did.  And I thought it was usually jewelry.

I'm sort of torn about hey-you-just-had-a-baby presents.  I don't think they're necessary at all, but presents aren't about necessary--they're about "Hey, I love you and I got you a present!"  Right?  I mean, I HOPE that's what they're about.

I guess I'm with EG on this one.  The expectation is a problem, not the present.

the "push presents" that i have come across occur like this... woman gives her christmas list to man.  man takes said list and chooses the most expensive item from said list that was not give to woman at christmas because it's too damn expensive, and purchases said item to give to wife when wife hands baby to man.  it comes across as a "here is your baby i just blasted out of my vag" exchange with "here is the ridiculously expensive necklace you've been wanting but you'll never be able to wear because we just had a baby and the baby will pull rip it off your neck."  i completely agree with what was said above, that "the expectation is a problem, not the present."    

I used to think it was stupid. Then I gave up alcohol for 10 months and spent 18 hours in labor.  Now, I think it's a damn fine idea. Of course, I love my daughter more than life itself and would have brought her into the world no matter what. But, it's nice to have your partner acknowledge that us ladies carry quite a bit more of a burden. It's doesn't have to be all about the bling to all the people who are being so cranky about it. My husband got me a beautiful bracelet made by a group of women in Africa who make a living through their jewelry. Chew on that cranky naysayers!

Push present - Um... NO.  Present because he saw it and made him think of me and he loves me and the family we've created together - um.... Heck Yeah!!  I'm all about the present for no reason, not the you just gave life there for here is that sweater you want...

Kinda just sounds like a Mothers Days Part 2.  Anyway, it's not as ridiculous as "Boyfriends Day".  It was invented by my friends boyfriend, (who thought it wasn't fair that he had to buy her a gift for Mothers Day since her daughter isn't his), and made up "Boyfriends Day" so she'd have to buy him a gift also.  IDIOT!

Never heard of a push present, but I DO celebrate MY birthing day on the day of my kid's birthdays. Of course, my celebrations never overshadows theirs, but I feel I should celebrate the fact I pushed them out with a glass of wine or two LOL

I think there is totally a difference between "here's my list" and your guy (or anybody in your life for that matter...the 4 diamond ring thing is awesome) saying "you're amazing, I appreciate you, here is something special that means something" My ring is really on loan for the next 18 years from my daughter because it is actually hers. So she will be presented with a ring that was presented to me as a remembrance of her birth. I think it's awesome.

I think mine was the Taco Bell, that I for some reason just had to have after giving birth.

Somehow I doubt this is what people mean.

I don't know...I think any action that displays an acknowledgment of the battle you've just been through counts...jewelery, late night Taco Bell...it's a birth present if it's a sacrifical gesture that tangibly shows you how loved and appreciated you are.

I'm cheap, so I'm the one who would've been put out by my man giving me something we couldn't afford post-baby.  

My pregnant sister-in-law is going to give my brother a little "welcome to daddyhood" gift while they're in the hospital - just something small like a book.  She just wants to do a little something to honor the occasion.  I sure hope my brother's giving her something, too.  I guess that's more of a baby's birth day gift exchange/we're parents now and that rocks sort of a thing, and I like that.

with the first child i was into the gift, but by the third i kinda felt the money ought to go into college savings.  unfortunately, my husband disagreed, and now i have this piece of jewelry that ought to be in a bank account, instead.

Yikes...

My husband gave me a pearl bracelet with our son's name and birthstone on it.  The card said, "I know that he's ours, but I feel like you gave me the best gift in the world when you handed me my son.  I hope this gives you a small idea of how much I appreciate everything you've been through.  You're amazing."

I'm all for the "push present". ;o)

I give my mom flowers on my birthday. Maybe you'll only have to wait for those boots until Fable gets old enough for allowance.

I think the idea is crazy and selfish! Like you said, you got a baby! What else do you think you need? The baby isn't enough? Also, I am married and have one son and about to push out baby #2. No engagement ring, no push presents, and my wedding ring was $40 out of the Avon catalog. So, I guess I have different ideas about where our money should go and what's most important to my family...

As much as there are a million things I desperately covet from Anthropologie (always!!), a push present looks pretty impractical and extravagant what with the economy collapsing all over the place, the job market withering, my freelance work slowing down.... and we're living (and working) in a one bedroom apartment in New York City AND sharing a a bedroom with our 14 month old daughter. We need a larger home for our family, and we need to stop buying things we don't need on our credit cards- isn't that what this whole credit disaster in America is about anyway? Appreciation for being pregnant and giving birth is one thing: an expensive gift just sounds like another marketing campaign.

@AlbertaMom (Ha, I'm pretending this is Twitter) Anyway, I think you've hit it on the nose. My husband getting Taco Bell for me after my son was born, or In & Out Burger after the girls were born, was the sweetest thing in the world too me. Better than jewelry I can't wear any day.

If my husband could have a baby, I'd buy him a car.  Seriously though, this could go either way.  It could be totally crass or it could be a lovely gesture.  It depends on the couple and the circumstances.  In my case, I got a beautiful memento that I treasure and can pass on to my daughter.  Seeing, however, as my birthday fell a few weeks after my daughter’s arrival it was couched as a Christmas-Birthday-Baby gift.  I was feeling so weepy with the baby blues when my husband sprung this surprise bauble on me that it was a real mood lifter.    

Damn, I was cut open and zipped up on our 5 year anniversary and I didn't get a birth present or an anniversary present!  My daughter was present enough though.  ;)

i was cracking up when I read "Pussies?"

You's funny, Bec.

I got a little teeny Swaorski pram that I rolled around my desk when I was at work, on calls, & thinking solely of MiniMe. I felt kind of gypped, but she was born 2 days before my birthday, & I had an emergency cesarean, so I was too drugged for anything but presents. I think it was a perfect present, looking back.

I think it's more about the gesture. It's about acknowledging that being pregnant & giving birth is an accomplishment that should be marked. I don't think diamonds are necessary, but something sweet is good.

My husband gave me a ring that I wear on top of my wedding ring.  My 18-month old loves spinning them on my finger, and we always have this conversation: "Do you want to hear the story?" "Yeah!" "I got this ring on the day daddy and I got married, and I got this ring on the day you were born.  And every time I look at them, I think of daddy and I think of you--my two favorite people. And that makes me so happy."    And it's the truth.

If you happen to be married to roMAANNNtic man who wants to buy you something, and it is sweet and special between you, fine.  If instead you want to brag about it at the playground and make other mom's (and dads) feel bad because they are not as materialistic or wealthy as you, NAH.

Had two kids, didn't get a push present.  Didn't ask, didn't discuss didn't care.  Got a fantastic watch for my birthday 3 months after first child born, husband said "I thought you deserved something extra special this year."  So that was sweet.  

p.s. Watch was lost 2 years later.  Child is now 6 1/2 and he is still the best gift of all.  I love that boy.

Ha!  I didn't know it had an actual name until now - a "Push Present", how effin' appropriate.  Honestly I think this is a gift given by a crappy husband/father since they either were not supportive during the pregnancy or just shitty period.  I like to think of it as a 'make up' gift since you had to go through the craziness that is pregnancy virtually alone.  Not that it takes two physically, but emotionally?  Um, yes.  Dunno about anyone else, but I for sure wanted SOME sort of acknowledgment that pouring my OJ into my cereal and putting the milk back in the cupboard was OK and nothing to panic about... so I wholeheartedly approve of the  push present!!! It's like a physical piece of approval that, "hey honey thanks for going through all that for the baby and me" from the dad.

The Push Present is what the diva pregnant woman wants from her man, rather than a for real baby.  She's the type of woman who wants to wear her baby as an accessory rather than actually have a child.  The push present goes right along with the SAHM who has a full time live in nanny.  

I know! How about a tshirt that says, "I was in a whole lot of pain, tore my taint, and all I got was this lousy baby"!

i actually bought myself a push present. nah, not really. okay, sorta. yeah, i did.  

but just cuz it was a good deal.

was out shopping with the hubby when son was two or three weeks old.  saw a double circle (circle within a circle) diamond necklace on clearance.  

it totally reminded me of baby inside mama.

or maybe even baby head crowning (picture?)

either way, hubby was a good sport-maybe because it was only $30.00.

i look at it as a momento of baby z---not a "push present" per se.  

a marc jacobs bag-though rockin'- wouldn't quite remind me of my sweet boy.