Straight From the Bottle

Kudos.  I am so freaking proud of you guys for sucking it up and doing what had to be done. Now go get some sleep! :)

Yeahn you did it. As I can see it is far less painful than when I did the same thing with my son, who cried for an hour. But I needed sleep & he was old enough to go to & stay asleep on his own.  Now, we are at square one with our 7 week old, who is currently kicking our ass.

Isn't that the best thing ever?  A full nights sleep is total bliss.  

The crying thing is so hard and in the end, it's just not that bad.  But you're right, those 8 minutes seem like an eternity and then some.  

Congrats!!

I kinda did the same thing with my Son. Worked like a charm! Minus the 1am-4am teething fit last night ;-)

Gotta love sleeping through the night. So easy to get used to

Yes!  This is the way - at least it was for me.  My pediatrician (highly regarded, I promise, not a jerk) said at 14 weeks it was ok to shut the door at 7pm and say, see you at 7am!  I for sure let them cry.  And I think now, if I had had the video monitor that those crazy kids are using now- woudl have been better.  But it was not more than 2 or 3 nights each and then - presto.  Sleep.  All night.  Awesome.

But you know what?  My kids are 6.5 and 4.5 and are GREAT SLEEPERS.  Everybody comments on it.

I'm a better mom when I get some sleep.

At least that's my story.

xo

Lindsey

www.adesignsovast.com

good job, mama! and yes, listening to your baby cry is THE hardest thing in the world. the first time I had my daughter sleep in her crib without falling asleep on me/with me, she cried for an hour & I was on the verge of vomiting, I was so upset. The crying lessened a little each day, and within a week, there was virtually no crying at all.

and oh my god, Fable is just about the cutest little thing ever!

Love the posttt :) So glad you guys can now sleep through the night, she is absolutlyyyyyyyyyy adorable!!  And now she must be even more enjoyable/adorable when you've had more than 2 hours of sleep!!

PS thank you thank thank you for the tweet back :DDDD

I completely feel your pain and I extend a big hug to you because you surely need it.  We were/are in the same boat with our son, Ian.  For the first year (and some nights even now) we co-slept with him and he slept great.  But he is now one and needs to be in his own bed because he is getting big enough that no one is comfortable anymore.  I hate (HATE) letting him cry it out to sleep but it really does work.  I have tried everything.  Rocking him to sleep.  Laying in the floor next to his crib and holding his hand though the bars.  He just won't stay asleep unless he cries for a while first.  Usually it is less that 5 minutes of crying and he is out for the night.  I am no expert, but just keep it up.  It sucks to have your heart ripped out while your baby cries but in the end they get what they need most...sleep.

I was scared that was going to be your answer. How long did she cry when you put her down the last few nights? Why do you think crying to sleep makes them not wake up during the night? That's the mysterious part to me. I think we may have to give in and let our 11 month old cry too. I'm exhausted and I think she needs more sleep than she is getting now too. Wish me luck!

No judgement here...whatever it takes is what I say. My baby Tasmanian devil will cry for two hours the four or so times we tried the CIO thing (probably longer, but I draw the line at two hours of crying), so that is awesome it worked so quickly with Fable! Baby TD still gets up about once at night to nurse, but I can handle that. I nurse him to sleep or his dad rubs his back. The sleep thing is so hard.

Welcome back to the world where people sleep!! I just join back one month ago AND BOY!!! everything DOES look better when you can think clearly :)

I wish you many many nights of at least 5 hours :)

this is what I did with my oldest - I would rock her to sleep, then she would wake up when I put her in the crib, and finally, tired of re-rocking and repeating the entire process, I just accepted that she needed to cry out the last vestiges of energy before sleeping.  this realization made it so much easier with my other two children - just a song, a kiss and a goodnight and they all sleep through the night.  Such a blessing.  i am so glad you are getting teh rest you deserve - and Fable is such a beauty!

We also did this with our son when he was about Fable's age and still waking every 2 or 3 hours. It took about 3 weeks until he could mostly sleep through the night (but even now, at 14 months, he wakes up when he's teething).

It's hard, hard, hard to listen to it. I find it's harder NOW, now that he doesn't do it all the time. Breaks my heart all over again, but the dude needs to sleep (AND SO DO I).

Glad to hear you guys survived it! Way to go. :-)

I am right there with ya, except I'm still in the "before" side of sleep training. Good for you!

yay for a wee bit of cio. good for you, i'm sure it took a lot of guts for you to do that. yay for sleep!

No judgement here. I let Walker cry it out the first time at 5 months, I think. He slept with me until he learned to roll over. Then he moved to the bedside basinett or pack-n-play. Then his own bed. He sleeps very well now.

Of course, that first time I was totally worried that I was permenantly damaging his fragile infant psyche and that he would grow up with all sorts of problems. But, I'm pretty sure he's fine.

I went through this with my youngest and man, did it suck. But now both kids sleep like logs all night long (unless they fall out of bed!), and it's truly wonderful. Good for you!

Oh how I wish this worked for us.  Although, last night we rocked Austin a couple of times and he would still not go to sleep, finally put him in the crib and within 10 minutes he fell asleep on his own. Finally.  Slept from 10:30pm until 6:30am which isn't bad for a seven month old in my book!  

Thanks for sharing the story, because gurrrl, you are not alone.

I think that we need to get away from thinking that our babies are plotting evil plans to make us insane by not sleeping through the night. Whhaat?! That is what I get when I read/hear people saying that their baby is "manipulating" them. Like a little baby child has these evil thoughts to try and be mean and horrible and create sleep deprivation. Blah.

it's all about them knowing that they can get you to hold them/rock them/stroll them/nurse them. they are much smarter than people give them credit for. our youngest 2 were the same way & we used a sleep -training method that was a modified crying it out. i'm so glad for you that you're getting more sleep.

Babies do know more than we credit them for, don't fool yourself Mama in the City!  Why do you think Fable went to sleep when no one was "playing the game" anymore?  Sure, they don't think in LITERAL terms like "haha, watch this shit!"  But they sure as hell know how to win at kicking our asses, this story, like the stories of the millions of other moms who tell it, is proof enough.  

I am so proud of you guys. I finally had this "oh my God, if I don't get any sleep tonight I'm going to kill someone" moment when my son was four months. I went to the book store, spent a few hours perusing every book on sleep habits and finally bought the one that wasn't one extreme or the other. I came home, laid it in front of my husband, declared I had found the holy grail and that from this night forward, we will be getting some mothereffn sleep! Amen! It was hard, and if it weren't for my husband keeping me from going and getting him every 5 seconds, I'm sure we'd still be sleepless. But, we hung in there, let him cry it out and within one week he was sleeping thru the night and at 14 months he still takes two naps a day and sleeps at least 12 hours at night.

Your life is going to change. Food will taste richer. The air will be sweeter. Joan Rivers is less annoying. Honestly, I don't know how you guys did it for this long but God bless you for finally getting some sleep!

We just got The Bun used to going to sleep on his own for naps. He goes down easy at bedtime adn only wakes up once per night, but there was no way I could expect daycare to rock him to sleep like I had been for his naps, so I sat in his room with him while he protested and finally fell asleep, because I couldn't just leave him entirely, and my presence made the difference between I-don't-like-this cries and panicky ones. After a few days, now he goes down alone in his room after 5-10 minutes for complaining. I'm tender-hearted when it comes to my babes, but I figured the halfway method at least let him know I was there for him, even if I was going to make him sort it out himself.

No judgment!  That's absolutely what you had to do.  Maybe she was telling you that she wasn't sleeping well in the stroller.  Good for you!

I think of it as letting the child learn how to put themselves to sleep. We started letting our son cry for short periods of time before naps and bedtime when he was just a few weeks old (because we were desparate for sleep!). Babies have to learn how to turn off all of the stimulation of their bodies and the world around them and calm themselves so that they can fall asleep. It is a skill, and parents have to give them an opportunity to learn that skill. The crying hurts, yes, but I don't think you should feel guilty about it.

HOLY CONGRATS, lady!  so glad to read this post.  happy for ye like whoa.  (-:

We've just been through this with our 6 month old. She slept through the night like a champion since 6 weeks then decided while we were overseas that sleeping for more than 2 hours without feeding simply wasn't possible. So once we returned home I modified the cry it out method and she's now sleeping better than ever. 7 to 7. And two 90-120 minute naps at predictable times during the day. For reference, if anyone is interested in advice, what we did was put her down and if she cried go back in every few minutes to pat very briefly, or put her dummy back in. But during the night when she cried out expecting a feed we would pat her until she calmed down, always making sure she fell asleep on her own. I was happy feeling that we were responding to her needs, but we were also being clear about what we expected of her. Our two main rules were to let her drift off by herself and never pick her up out of her cot. It took us about three nights, which seems typical and although it's really tough when you know all your baby wants is a cuddle, it's worth it for good sleep for everyone! Good luck! And well done, GGC. It certainly isn't easy!

Yay for Fable! We let James cry it out at about five months a couple of times, but he's a great sleeper. Now that he's cutting three teeth at once and almost walking at nine months, he's getting harder and harder to put him to bed. We have to let him cry it out almost every night. It only lasts about five-ten minutes, but it's the worst ten minutes of my life, every night.

Big Hugs for you!! And CONGRATS on getting sleep!!

We did a modified cio with our son. At 6 months he was waking up and staying awake for 3 hours at least twice every night. It was horrible. Something had to change we plunged right into it at nap time the next day.  It is terrible for us mammas to hear our babies cry.(which is why I left the house for the first 3 nights while my huband was dealing with him) But now he is 9 months, sleeps 7:30-8:00 and takes two naps. And everyone is much happier!

Helen, I am with you my daughter did the same thing. 2 hours of persistent crying and occasionally screaming at the top of her lungs. I tried it a couple of times through her babyhood and gave up.

GGC, I am glad that it worked for you!! I will have to find a way that works for daughter.

no judgment girl - u did it!  i know it's hard, but it's really the only way...girls especially know how 2 wrap ur heart around their little finger & keep hold boy!  way 2 go Fable - & way 2 go Mama!!!  ♥

Yay for sleeping! It took us until Rev was probably 8 months old before we finally did this, and it was the same-- we just hit a point where we could. not. do. it. anymore. 2 hours of bed time ugh before he would sleep for an hour; ridiculous. The cry it out thing worked after about 2 days for GOING to sleep and then STAYING asleep took a bit longer, but everyone was more well-rested after it was over. I was super hesitant about going it, and those few minutes of him crying was a special kind of torture, but I'm glad we did do it. A year later and everyone sleeps, well, like a baby.

After that stroller fiasco, you deserve it! Rest up. We're still a bit wimpy and only do half-assed c/i/o. And the results are, well, half-assed as you'd expect. But every little bit helps. I can't wait to sleep 8 hours in a row -- what a revelation!

Yay for you!  We did the same thing when our now-2 1/2-year-old son was about 18 months or so.  It took a few nights of crying (him and me), but I would do it again in a heartbeat.  We're ALL so much happier now that we get good rest at night.

Congratulations!!! It is hard as hell to let them cry. It is pure torture, but kudos to you for listening to your instincts and doing what you needed to do. Sweet dreams!

Congrats!  I was afraid that was the answer, but good for you that she only cried for 8 minutes that is amazing and fantastic.  I have this fear that I am going to reach the end of my rope and finally commit to CIO and my boy will cry frantically and for hours...hopefully I am wrong and I will be as lucky as you are.  We are going on vacation next week and I will keep him in the king size bed with us and get whatever sleep I can get, but when we come home if things continue, I just might have to bite the bullet...  Thanks for sharing your story!

I met a woman at a party who was from Australia, and she told me that over there, sometimes babies go to "sleep school" at the hospital for a night or two if the baby won't sleep through the night.  It's pretty much the oh-so-allegedly-cruel-Ferber method but the parents can see the baby through a mirror or maybe a camera during the process.  

I cried out Edna Junior.  There was a lot of compulsive online shopping that happened during those two nights, but I think we all made it through it OK.  My husband took it really hard, but he was sleeping like a proverbial baby while Edna Junior played with my nipples all night long and I had the pleasure of sleeping in a crooked "c" position that makes my neck hurt to think about it to this day. I was about ready to join the French Foreign Legion or a biker gang from lack of sleep.

no judgement here.  i did the same thing, except he was 7 mos old & i was HAPPY! happy that he slept, not happy that he cried.  around 13 mos he had an upset where he thought he would need to be up 3-4 times, so prepare yourself for that.  

but congrats on the ferber method (which is what you used, basically) i love it!

Hey - the Bug would wake up every two hours on the dot from birth to five months at night.  What happened at five months?  My husband came home to find me a sobbing wreck on the kitchen floor, that's what!  It took at least an hour of rocking and nursing to get him to sleep each and every time, and I could. not. deal. anymore.

So I did CIO, in stages, and transitioned him into a crib from our bed.  I still hate hearing him cry and will go in if he sounds hurt or hysterical, but those "HEY, I'M NOT SLEEPING, DAMN YOU VILE WOMAN!" yells I ignore.  He's a sweet and happy little guy, naps like a champ and sleeps all night long...and so do I.

That worked with our first daughter.  And we are just starting this process with our second.  She's on enough of an eating schedule now that she's ready!

Amber

http://www.wildtochild.com

We went through this with my 10 month old recently and it worked out just as your situationd did. Sleep is nice!

"I feel like a bit of an idiot, truth be told, for waiting unil now to experiment with leaving Fable in her crib for longer than thirty seconds. (It's so very hard to leave them when they're crying and reaching for you, I know I'm not alone when I say that.)"

Exactly my thought when we went through this just 3 months ago. My son (22 months) was fed 3 times the night until we decided to let him go on 2 because we wanted to go to a concert. And one by one we got rid of a feed and here we are with a son who sleeps through the night. No more demands for milk at 2 am. Just 2 nights of hard crying in our arms. Oh boy. But I wouldn't have wanted to try it earlier because I did not mind. Even when others looked at me strange. "You still breastfeed him? In the night? How many times?"

Oh, he now still sleeps in his little bed right beside mine and sometimes during the night he rolls over and sleeps on, cuddled into my arm. Love that.

No judgement from me. I WISH we could let our son cry it out. He's 2 and still wakes at least twice per night, we've tried everything else. Why can't we let him cry it out? We live on the second floor of an apartment building with very thin floors. We can hear our upstairs neighbours flush their toilet. Our downstairs neighbours have complained so many times about my sons noise.

Kudos to you for being able to do it! Enjoy your sleep!

I was so resistant to CIO too when Giovanna was younger and waking all the time. I couldn't co-sleep because neither of us liked to be that close at night, but she slept in a cradle next to our bed. While I was bf'ing I would just reach over and grab her, but when we went to bottle (she dropped me like a bad habit around 6 months)it was WAY MORE SUCKIER to get up. I bit the bullet too and let her cry so I could just lie her down...exactly once. She got used to going to sleep on her own. I think I was lucky because she really didn't like to be held while falling asleep. Good job for trying...and even better for WINNING! Fable and Giovanna are about the same age, and right now she's doing the weird waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing. I don't think it has anything to do with just getting Fable to fall asleep on her own. It must be a separation anxiety thing for babies our girls' age. Congratulation on FINALLY getting the rest a mommy of a toddler SO.BADLY.NEEDS!

Yup. It's not about when the child is ready to sleep. It's when the parents are ready to go through the cry-barrier.

Isn't sleep a beautiful thing?

Good for you! I think "crying it out" is a great method for them to learn to self soothe and to know that it's time for sleep, not playing or eating. When my little one cries (it's usually a very short minute or 2) I tell myself that she can't talk yet and she's just protesting and wanting to hang out with me... and it's my job to make sure she gets her rest. Just as it is to make sure she is fed and bathed and diapered and loved. That helps me through it! Good for you for finding your strength to take this next step. :)

Way.  To.  Go.  Seriously, the whole cry-it-out thing is brutal (mostly on the parents) but so necessary in the long run.  We started that with our daughter (who sounds quite Fable-ish in her quest to get the least amount of sleep possible to survive) when she was 9 or 10 months old and it worked!  And I felt like an idiot for waiting so long to do it!  So I can totally identify with you waiting almost a year so don't worry!  

Anyone who judges you clearly doesn't have kids and has no idea what it means to have a small person in your bed riverdancing in their sleep all night.

Rock on to you, and sweet dreams to Fable.

YAY!

You guys are so brave.  Because you just dont know what will happen.  She might...she might...I don't know! SOMETHING might HAPPEN if you let them cry.

I had such a hard time doing this with Wendy.  Kudos to you for taking the plunge!

Talk about judgment commencing, but I am a big believer in crying-it-out. Not SCREAMING-it-out, that I really can't take, but letting my baby be unhappy for 10 or 15 minutes is the only thing that really taught him to sleep on his own. And I was a total wimp - by 4 months the sleep deprivation was making me so insane, I had to try something. But hey, it worked, THANK GOD. Now my kid is a wonderful sleeper. Probably even harder than getting him to sleep through the night was getting him to give up the pacifier, because I was spending the first 15 minutes of every nap and bedtime popping that thing back in his mouth after he learned how to take it out, which was much more entertaining to him than actually going to sleep.

Anyway, congrats on getting your much-deserved rest!!

AWESOME. Dude, it's hard to lay them down and let them cry - no judgment here. My husband had to be the one to pioneer us into the world of Crying It Out.

Way to go mom and dad! You are an inspiration to all who follow behind you.

We did the cio with our son Liam at 5 months. He cried for 2 hours the first night, 45 minutes the second night, and 10 minutes the third. It sucked but it worked. I wish I could say he's the best sleeper in the world but this stage from 2.5-3 years has been hard. The cio method works though!

Oh my gosh, Fable looks like Archer in that picture- the eyes!  Wow, I've never seen that before.  Oh, and yes, good for you with the sleeping thing.  We did it at 10 weeks with ours, oops.  

We had reached our breaking point also and it occurred to me that a little bit of crying was worth EVERYONE sleeping. I mean, sleeping in two hour increments then crying for an hour certainly isn't healthy. We had much the same result as you did and I've never looked back.

So glad this worked for you- it DOES NOT work for everyone though. We tried, and after 2 1/2 hours of crying still had to cave. He is just too strong willed. Happy sleeping!!

No judgment here - sounds like you got everything just right.  Sleep is bliss.

such a relief!  seriously though, only 15 minutes of crying at the most?!  that's a miracle!  ziya cried for 1 and 1/2 hours when we first started and i thought that was pretty good...  compared to everyone else i know whose children cried for 3 hours or so for 5 days straight [or more].  way to be strong and let go.

I think there's a big difference between hard-core CIO (you put them in their room and literally don't open the door for 10-12 hours no matter WHAT) and the 'let them cry/fuss for 'x' amount of time and see what happens' which is what it sounded like you did.  Luckily you didn't have to do the marathon scream fest so good for you and good for Fable!  I also think at this age letting them cry is different than if she were 3 months old.  I am in the No Cry Sleep Solution camp and was so against letting my wee wee baby CIO that young.  Now at 18 months old he's a great sleeper but does he cry sometimes?  Yes and we let him as long as it doesn't excelate into hysterics.  But if it's just a pissed-off tired cry then he's going down to sleep soon anyway.

I'm glad you figured out what worked and happy Zzzzz's for everyone!  Hip hip hooray!

I just started doing the leave in the crib, say good-night and walk away thing a month or so ago. Was kind of shocked when it worked. He still wakes up some. Stoopid teeth. But I'm sleeping so much better.

In that first picture, she looks so much like Archer at that age.

we finally did this at around the one year mark.  Worked for 2 weeks, then he got sick - and it never worked again.  It was a great 2 weeks though ...

We had to do this with our youngest too when he was about 8 months old.  He would actually go to sleep fine, but then wake up and scream in the middle of the night.  I consulted this sleep magician I found online and he advised that since our son was going to sleep fine on his own, that unfortunately, we just had to let him cry to break him of waking up in the middle of the night.  Three nights later, and he was sleeping through the night.  It sucks, but sometimes we do have to be the parents and say enough!  Good for you guys!

This isn't the Ferber method (unless you are missing a lot of details).  I just bought the book to deal with my toddler.  He is all about going in to soothe your kid but spacing it out for longer periods of time.  It sounds like you have a pretty easy kid here who went down like a champ after only a few minutes.  Enjoy the sleep.  Parents have to do what is best for them and their kids.

It's me again.  Let me be the one to also say that this just doesn't work for everyone.  If it's such a brief amount of crying, what can you say?  You did what you needed to do.  I just can't see how letting your kid cry for three hours until they are dehydrated and hysterical is OK.  How can a parent reasonably think that they should just power on and not go in to make sure the baby is OK at that point?  

Oh I am so thrilled for you and Fable and Hal and Archer.  I tried CIO with Nola at about six months and it didn't work.  After about 15 minutes of crying, screaming, spitting up, I pulled her out of the crib and nursed her to sleep and she wimpered in her sleep all night.  It was terrible.  I have been thinking about trying it again though now that she is a year old. Your post gives me hope.

Same here. After months and months of elaborate rocking and shushing and bouncing and singing and cuddling only to have Wombat wake up the second we put him in his crib, we're now sleep trained via the gentle form of CIO and, DAMN, it's liberating. Congrats on getting your life back.

There is an interesting article on askmoxie about CIO; in a nutshell, hertheory is that some kids cry to wind down, and other cry to wind up. So the latter (including Fable, and thankfully, my own son) will sometimes cry upon bedtime, but it helps them go down. Other, like some of the babes mentioned in the comments, cry themselves into a frenzy, so CIO can't work.

We waited till after the crazy 8-9 month sleep regression and various vacations to do modified CIO and omg life had been GOOD.

My daughter is 14 now, but we did this exact modified CIO with her -- unfortunately, we waited until she was around 18 months old to start.  I say unfortunately, because she was old enough to talk, and one night, she actually stood up in her crib and cried plaintively, "Someone help me!"

Just about broke my freakin' heart.  Also, I was afraid the neighbors were going to call Child Protective Services.

Anyway, after 3 nights -- she was sleeping through the night no problem.  

Congrats! It's not easy, but when it works it is nothing short of a miracle.

This is great news! I'm so happy for you! =D And no judgement here: letting them cry it out is the only way they'll get that you're not going to rescue them.

I know CIO is not for everyone, but it worked for us.  And my kids who are 10,8 and 3 don't harbor hate towards me because of it and they also know that I love them and are always here for them.  Oh and I am also sleeping.  Now tips on getting my two older ones to stop fighting would be welcome!

I'm so glad it's working for you!  I didn't want my baby in my room much past the 10 days she was in the bassinet.  I don't know why really, I was worried about her, but I wanted her to be in her room.  At 2 weeks exactly, we moved her to her crib, and did all of her feedings/wake ups without leaving her room.  She was sleeping through the night at about 9-10 weeks old.  She's 16 months (tomorrow, woo!) and sleeps from 7:30-7:30.  She cries every night.. for just a bit, but now she's an independent girl, who knows what she needs.  I'm so glad you've figured it out with Fable and it's working for your family.  Grats!!

GOOD FOR YOU!!

Learned that lesson with colic boy. Did not sleep for the first year and a half of his life. ANY of us. Until I decided enough was enough and swore off HIS schedule in favor of one that best suited us all.

When the twins arrived was determined to do it right from day 1. Those girls slept like nobodies business. They were easier than their older brother in that they slept when I put them down and WE got sleep. Whole different ball game.

Welcome to the other side! Sleep is a GOOD THING. Glad you are getting some :)

To each her own yet, I think it's worth mentioning that there are other, alternative methods to the cry it out method of getting your child to sleep that are quite effective. I think it's important to educate yourself on the research on either side of an argument so that you can make a fully informed and balanced decision.

I'm a mother of a 4.5 month old and I found "The Aware Baby" to have some pretty good info on sleep tactics. I also found the developmental psychology textbook, "Becoming Attached" by Robert Karen to be super enlightening. It presents a history of attachment theory, presenting studies on early 20th century "institutionalized" infants - orphans and such - who wouldn't cry. It was determined that the reason these infants stopped crying wasn't because they were able to self soothe, it was because no one came for them when they cried so they ceased to believe that their needs would be met. As a result, these babies became withdrawn, showed signs of depression, slower learning, and in many cases a failure to thrive. These are extreme results but they illustrate the important role of a bonded and trusting relationship between a child and his caregiver.

Babies cry for many important reasons, including ensuring their survival. Unfortunately, in today's modern society, both parents work to support the family. Moms whose primary duty was to rear their babies have been replaced by moms who are hustling work outside the home and who thus need sleep.

It's worth it to ask yourself who it's benefiting to get your child to sleep through the night. In many cases it's for the convenience of working parents. Co-sleeping isn't forever. The natural order of human development shows that babies turn into children who do eventually outgrow their parents and seek independence.

Seriously NO JUDGMENT. Ugh. We had to do something similar out of desperation as I went back to work when ours was 7 months old and she was still up many many times a night. I HATED doing it, and had to do more of a Ferber type thing. I hated it because I didn't feel really ready to do it yet but working full time meant that I had to force her. And thats what it felt like, force. Not a word I want associated with my child when shes 7 months old, thats for sure. I have no problem with modified CIO just that I think it can only be done when everyone in the house is ready. I just wasn't. Mind you our little one seemed to be. She put up a fight for a few days then got the message. So next time I think I will try to be able to be home for longer so I am not forced into doing something when I am so obviously not ready for it.  

No judgment! You did it! Everyone's getting some sleep and that's what matters. Enjoy it!

I don't find arguments along the lines of "in the past, mothers did this with no problem - mothers who don't keep doing it that way are doing their kids a disservice" particularly helpful.  The fact of the matter is that most of our lifestyles are radically different than the lifestyles of previous generations, and each parent has to find a way to establish routines and practices that are right for THEIR family in THIS time.  I just don't think it makes sense to couch arguments for this or that parenting style in terms of what was done decades or even centuries ago.  After all, why not go back even farther, say a few centuries ago, when most kids were forced to work with their families in the fields at the ripe old age of 8 or so?   Is that something we should be emulating?

Anyways, congrats on the sleeping through the night.  I felt like a new woman when we got there.  

Woot! It is hard--I can still feel my son's hand on my arm as he tried to grasp it so I wouldn't walk away (10 years later!).  My opinion is that they do need to learn to sleep, and the lessons can be hard (harder on us sometimes, I agree) but in the long run they benefit.  

This isn't about one right answer. There are shades of grey to consider when deciding what to do to get your baby to sleep through the night. If having them cry it out doesn't feel right to you, listen to that instinct and research another way. Find what's best for you and have faith that there are methods that can bridge the gap. Be aware of the harmful effects of letting your baby cry unattended. No judgement here, but I wanted to share some interesting info on why some parents choose not to use the CIO method.

"Babies cry. They cry to let us know that they need something. And when we don’t respond to those cries, it causes them undue amounts of stress. Science has shown that stress in infancy can result in enduring negative impacts on the brain. Prolonged cries in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. Excessive crying results in an oversensitive stress system (likened to a faulty burglar alarm in one book) that can lead to a fear of being alone, separation anxiety, panic attacks and addictions. Harvard researchers found that it makes them more susceptible to stress as adults and changes the nervous system so that they are overly sensitive to future trauma. Chronic stress in infancy can also lead to an over-active adrenaline system, which results in the child using increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence. Another study showed that persistent crying episodes in infancy led to a 10 times greater chance of the child having ADHD, resulting in poor school performance and antisocial behaviour. However, if you consistently soothe your child’s distress and take any anguished crying seriously, highly effective stress response systems are established in the brain that allow your child to cope with stress later in life."

Pretty compelling info from the folks at the PhD in Parenting website. Read the rest here if you're interested: www.phdinparenting.com/.../no-cry-it-out

I have an almost 4 month old and I am doing exactly as you did. She co-sleeps and finds my boob all night long. It was so hard to get up and rock her to sleep three times a night. So, I just put her in bed with me. Only now she gets up between 4-8 times a night. I am so worried I will NEVER get her back in her own bed. I hear people say they let their babies cry it out for 2 hours the first night, and 45 min the next and finally they slept. I think I could do 15 min max. She is still too young for that. But it is reassuring that it is something that could work in the future. For now, cuddle time and lots of lost sleep.

You don't know how jealous I am of you. You're getting a full night's sleep WITHOUT a mini human sucking away at your boobs for all they're worth?? I don't even know what that's like anymore...

Nonetheless congrats because it is definitely a celebratory occasion!

Fellow bonehead here.  

We did the same thing. Co-slept until Jillian was 7 months then moved her to portable crib next to our bed thinking we would all sleep better.  Nope, she still woke hourly or if I moved in the bed or if I breathed deeply or if the air made noise.  

Finally, at 8 months I couldn't take it anymore because I was a raging exhausted witch. So we decided a weekend night would be the first we put her in her new big crib and alone in her own room.  I was awake all night; not because she screamed but because I kept thinking she was dead because she did not make one noise all frickin night.  

We are idiots!  She is 10 months tomorrow and she takes 2 naps like clockwork at 10 and 2 and sleeps through the night.  I keep telling myself it was 8 months of bonding but really about six of those were hell.  I bond with her more now because I actually get 7 hours sleep and can be a happy, energetic mom.

Funny thing is, I did the same thing with her older brother - you would think I would learn, duh.  

Welcome to the full night sleep world - it's wonderful.

Hey, no judgment here. After weeks of getting by on 2-3 hours per night, we finally let our son cry it out. It was so hard, but it worked, and both of my kids sleep amazingly well now. (That one is 5 now and my youngest is 2.5.) Just be consistent, and you'll be great. That book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child has helped us a lot. Congratulations!

I know where you're coming from, we waited much longer than you did (ours was 3 when I finally let him cry it out, and at 4 1/2 he still crawls into bed with us at some point during the night (secretly?  I'm glad about that part).  

I, too, did it out of desperation (hubby was working out-of-state and I was a monday-friday single-mom with a full-time job...hell if I was going to sit up all night and then get up at 7!)

I took video (well, audio really) of when he was at his screeching-worst, so I could show him years later and we could laugh together.  More than a year and a half later, it still kinda hurts to listen to (though hearing him screeching "MOMMY I said NOW! is kinda funny.).

As with every other aspect of parenting, you've got to do what works for you and your life.  So she cries before she goes to sleep.  She's not going to remember it and c'mon...it's obvious that girl is LOVED.  No worries!  :-)

Good job! Its so hard. I laughed so much reading this because I can relate. And your baby is so freaking cute.  

we did the cry it out thing with our twin boys at 8 or 9 months. i was so terrified the first night...but they were serious night wakers, one very two hours at least and i would shush and rock and then i literally started to fall apart at the seams.

tim took night duty the first three nights and it was much the same. first night, rough. second night, less so. third night....blissful sleep. they have their moments, but ever since then, we know much better what and when to help.

two at two and a half is kicking our asses, but that too will pass, right?

OMG..you mean you let her cry!! seriously! lol. Just teasing. I know I have to get my daughter back to sleeping through the night I don't know what happened but she wne tfrom sleeping six hours at a time to waking every two or three hours..can we say....long night!!

I'm finally moving her to her pack n play in a few more days and hopefully the more space etc will be better for her.  Gosh I hope so

I love this little GGC community - I always learn something new from your posts and then just reading the comments.

I am THIS close to letting her CIO... but then the moment comes and I am all "tomorrow... she will sleep through the night tomorrow... and if not THEN I will try it". Still waiting for tomorrow. Anyway, congrats and way to be!

I am a bit amazed about how young some of the CIO'ed kids in the comments were. OK, not many people wait till 22 months like we did but it drives me crazy when other moms tell me that their paediatrician told them at 4 months to CIO! Isn't that a wee bit early??

I find it a bit disconcerting how uninformed some of these comments are. There is so much research out there from trusted individuals (Dr. Sears) and institutions (Harvard University) about the dangers of letting your babies and children cry without responding to them. It doesn't matter if it's for 5 minutes or 5 hours, your babies are getting the message that their needs are not important. If parents out there can't handle the time, presence, intimacy and SELFLESSNESS that child rearing requires, perhaps it's because their own needs were neglected when they were little ones. Babies are not developed adults with the ability to rationalize and compartmentalize their situation. They act very fundamentally. They do not manipulate. Their needs are very basic. They need YOU, 24/7, for as long as that takes. How will they feel, down the road, to read how inconvenient they were to some of you who've commented as such?

Woo Whoooo! That is heavenly! Enjoy :)

Way to go! We had to resort to this as well a month or two ago.  Addie always slept through the night, but she goes back and forth between going down easily and going down hard.  Lately she's been choosing the hard road and I finally decided she's old enough, and she's just playing us! lol.  I do agree it works.  And it's only 10 minutes.  There is NO harm in that, if you ask me! Congrats on the sleep, bet it feels great :)

Congrats on the sleeping through the night. Congrats on finding your way to get there that works for you and your family.

I can't wait to see how my daughter makes her way through all this. When she asks me for advice, I give it but I explain that she is the parent and she will find her own way that works for her and her family.

You just gave your daughter an amazing gift, the ability to self sooth. Also the confidence to know that it is okay to be alone because the people that she loves will be there when she wakes up and/or needs them. These are two things that every child and adult needs to have.  Congrats!!

I feel you. I was up at 12, 2 , 4, 6 and 9 until I finally had enough and decided to use the same method. Congratulations on finally getting a good nights sleep, I'm sure you both feel better already.

INCREDIBLE!  When I had my son, we co-slept for 20 months, until I found myself about to pop with my second and realized he'd need to sleep like "a big boy".  Those were some rough nights leading to some HALLELUJAH nights of sleeping through the entire night.  I'm now back to co-sleeping with number two, but I am betting when the constant breastfeeding commences, the hallelujah nights will come a bit sooner than with my first!  Judge on, people, but sleep rocks!!!

We did it from day one and my kids are healthy and happy and we all got great sleep. Now we say "bedtime" and off they go. It's a beautiful thing.

So glad it worked for you.  It didn't go so well for us.  My daugther would scream, not cry, scream for at least two hours.  And she did it every time she woke up, so about every two hours.  Yes it finally worked after about a week and a half.  Then she would get a tooth, or a cold and we would have to do it over again.  I finally decided I couldn't handle it.  Apparently I am not a cry it out kind of mom.  

So necessary. Good for you for finally getting it done. Sounds like she slept pretty easily, I guess she was ready. I can't stress enough how important I think it is for kids to learn to get themselves to sleep. I'm amazed you lasted so long... I couldn't take it anymore after about 4 months see here: mamaberg.wordpress.com/.../to-cry-or-not-to-cry