Straight From the Bottle

Oh Rebecca, I wondered if I would hear this from you! I also sort of hoped I would, because you are an amazing person with an amazing family and children are so lucky to call you and Hal their parents! <3

the voice? it finally stopped when my fourth was 2 years old. then? i knew, i really knew.

that 1st pic is absolutely amazing.  stunning really.  

i'm not done having kiddos, either.  it's addictive, isn't it?

xx

Wait... are you pregnant?

NO!!!! NOT PREGNANT!

I have an IUD and plan to keep it for another two years. Maybe three. Maybe even four.

what does hal say?

i had the same voice. the baby is coming in february, my first will be 22 months

I've got the voice too. I am 39 weeks, with my second, I have a 17month old boy, and a girl on the way. Hubby and I try to convince ourselves this is our last, but I don't know if all the reasons to NOT have another (space, money, time, age) will be enough for it to not happen.

I will look forward to the adventures of #3 as I continue to follow along with #1 and #2.  We have one daughter, Sierra.  And will have a second.  Like you, we really want to her to have the experience of having A sibling.  We'll reassess after that.  

even after our 4th, we want more, but know that miss molly is our last. it's getting harder to fit us all in one house, but we do make amazing kids.

Omg this post coulda been written by me except I have one child right now. I was really started to think I was nuts and almost started to believe I could understand Octomom. Then a few weeks ago I saw something on tv about moms who are addicted to having babies I forget the phrasing they used but man I thought " this might be me". I am an only child so I wanted a bug family so my son could have that closeness. My mom is the oldest of nine and raised me alone or else I think she would  of had more. My pregnancy and birth were amAizing and honestly I haven't felt that good since. I even looked Ono bottled pregnancy hormones because shit that feeling is addictive and ppl like me with thyroid disorders often do feel better pregnant. Plus rushing home from work to see my boy gives me a high like no other. I can't quiet he voice either. The only time it  got softer when my son started out of nowhere waking at night again. At 3am

with a baby who has been up for an hour, I think fuck how can I do it with 2? Then he looks up at me and smiles, then points to my nose and says eyes. Right them and there the voice begins to shout again. I love u Griffin my Griffidydoodah!

My voice is saying just the opposite! And I'm completely floored by it! We only have one girl and my rational thinking is to have another.  But my voice is saying, "one and done."  I have fought it for a while thinking, “No. I’m not done.  My daughter needs a sibling, eventually. Just not right now, but soon.”  But the truth is my clock is no longer ticking.  Recently, my rational voice has been thinking, “Ok, after her second birthday I’ll go off the pill.”  But I’m not looking forward to it like I was the first time.  Nothing. Zip. Zilch.  Could my clock just be on snooze?  Or has my alarm already sounded?

Whoa, I didn't expect this revelation... Good for you for getting it out of the closet! You're a great mom, your kids are amazing, you'll do alright. You have two siblings, right? A friend once told me she wanted at least three because that's the minimum amount of kids you can have that they form a semi-autonomous "society"...

Oh man, you're so right.  Take it from a woman who's way over 35 and trying to have a second one:  Get your freak on and make another baby pronto.  It gets harder (and in some, uh, male, departments, it can get softer, I'm told) once you hit thirty-five.

I double-dog-dare ya!

;-P

Seriously. You do it, and I'll watch. Then maybe my little inner next child will quiet down a bi too...but prolly not...

I'm SOOOO ambivalent about having a second. I'm with Judy, I feel like I should have another, and there are times when newborns make me giddy, but I'm kinda happy with my one cutie patootie. But will I regret it later?

Would that we could afford a third! If I got pregnant again, we'd have to sell one of the other two to pay for childcare.

JK - If it was up to Hal we'd have four by now.

Yep, yep, yep. On all of it.

Bec, the thing is, you have time. If you still see another baby in your future, you'll know when the right time it. The cool thing about a third, is they already have siblings, no matter what. My third was born when my girls were nearly 7 and a little over 4 years old. And he's awesome and was worth the wait.

When you wrote your IOU IUD post, a reader made a critical comment about deciding to stop at two kids.  I believe I recall you responding "Mrs. Duggar is that you?" (which I thought was HILARIOUS)  And so now I cannot resist asking you, "Mrs. Duggar is that YOU??" :-P

i don't get it, haha. we are done with one and for us it is incredible but kuddos to those that can keep on giving a full, fun and happy life to multiple kiddos. None of our friends have kids so far and all are verging on the cusp of 40's so I am waiting for them to start birthing soon enough and revel in their fun while my kid is making his own breakfast, wiping his butt, etc, haha! Maybe someday I say, I just turned 32 yesterday so I have a few good years left in me!

This is probably because I'm pregnant and all jacked up on hippie love hormones, but I totally love you. Although, I thought you were awesomesauce before I was even pregnant. So I can't blame everything on pregnancy.

I am not even due with this baby until late February, and I'm already wondering if this will be our last. And the overwhelming tiny voice in my head keeps saying that it won't. And then I want to punch it in the face because I'm all like, "Are you crazy? Babies are really effing expensive! And I'm not a baby factory!" But it just keeps whispering anyway.

I always told my husband, "let's see how we do with the first kid," not sure I could handle it. Now we're trying for #2. I MUST have another!!!  Those voices talk to me too. Who knew?

Is the voice in your head the little baby hanging off your washing line by her plaits over on GGC?

I'm due with my second next month. My first will be exactly 3.5 I'm pretty sure this will be my last pregnancy since my body seems to have issues with getting and being pregnant and, in my case, the two required c-sections. But I'm not sure this is our last kid either, I get that we're not all here feeling too and I haven't even delivered #2 yet. Which means my husband and I talk about adoption sometime in the future, a whole new world that is a little scary but also potentially very exciting.

My mom always called it babyitis-- there's four of us, and we're all five years apart. One would get to kindergarten and she'd miss the baby snuggles. I have serious waves of ye olde babyitis. We are waiting until next summer to try for our second and most of the time that is okay, but sometimes it is overwhelmingly NOT (but then I see people with a small toddler and a small baby and it reminds me that yes, I do want to wait).

I thought the same thing after I had our daughter Nina in April of 2009...she would be our first and our last...I just got my IUD taken out last week.

Oh gosh, I am so there. Except I have 3. But my son, my second son, because yes it's a boy, and no I'm not even pregnant, but he wants to be born at the end of next year, he told me so. So uh, the IUD may be coming out in December. I just sound totally insane all over your comments now. Sorry.

Would you ever consider adopting the next one?

My husband and I always thought we would have two kids.  Before we ever even met, I wanted two and so did he.  Then we had our first and as soon as she came out, my brain said - nope, we are done.  He would totally have had more kids if I said yes, but it was all me.  Now we are happily parents of an almost 13 year old, he is fixed and we are counting the days until she leaves for college so we can totally be empty-nesters at 37/38.  I love our kidlet but I am so glad that she is the only one!!!

I am having the hardest time giving up on the idea of a third child, even though prior to my second child I didn't want another one either. Although like another commenter said, now that my youngest is 2, the desire is fading a little...

I am so wanting to have another baby too.  I always knew that I wanted at least 2 - i am a strong believer in siblings.  My daughter is 21 months and I want to get pregnant NOW, but the problem is - no insurance!  we can afford to have another baby once it is born, it is just the act of birth that we can't afford.  HUGE BUMMER.  Trying to get maternity coverage is next to impossible - don't get me started on insurance companies....  but hopefully that will change.  I'll be 36 next year and don't want to miss the window.

I thought for a long time that I would have four children. Then I met my husband, and he was like, "no more than two." Now we have one, and I know--I just KNOW--that if we have another one, I'll want a zillion more. Apparently, in my mind, it's either "one and done" or "two down, 18 to go." Yeesh.

I hear the voice. It tortures me. But we're trying right now so its just  a matter of time.

Love this post and sharing your journey. Find with one of each gender people suppose you're finished.  I've got that third little voice in my head too and know its waiting for us.  Even the day our little M was born two months ago, we were pondering things about "next time." Congratulations and I'm excited for your family.

my honeymoon baby just turned seven months old.  no, really.  she was born exactly 9 months and three days after our wedding.  she is the third girl (my second).  i want to deny but i hear that voice ALL OF THE TIME!  as i often think after reading your posts, thank you for bringing up this topic.  i adore you.

Aw, shucks, ladies. You're all awesome.

And Heather, HA! You're totally right, although we'd stop at three for sure. I was one of three so that might be why three seems so... right? I don't know for sure.

It's funny because I have friends who KNOW that one baby was IT for them. They gave birth and that was it.

For me that was not the case.

I would LOVE to adopt, CMA. It's been something I've always wanted to do. Unfortunately it's not something Hal is as interested in and obviously we'd both need to be equally on board so that's kind of where we are as far as that goes. That may change in the future but not for me to push.

Love to all.

my second is just four months old and unlike you i'm done and happily so. there was a moment when she was just a day or so old and i was still in hospital and my big (ha! all 2 and a half years of her) was asleep in her buggy and our little girl was in asleep in her bassinet and my husband and i were curled up nearly asleep on my bed and i thought "this is it, this is my family" and it was the best feeling in the world. a magical moment. i don't hear any voices but good luck to all of you who do!

I get this completely.  When my first two were tiny, I used to bath them together and think "we are not all here".  When my third was born, I thought "what took you so long. NOW we are complete."  

I had the voice too.  It was weird to have a two-year-old and a baby and be thinking, no actually I was sure that there was another one.  But guess what? After that third one, the voice is GONE.  A lot of people think that if you're crazy enough to have three, you might as well have six, but man - I am so done now.  

I have that same voice, particularly strong these days. However, there is NO FLIPPING WAY I'm doing pregnancy and birth again, so if we have more, they'll have to be adopted. That being said, I feel that we won't be a complete family until there are four kids. Even numbers are best . . . they can always team up instead of having two gang up on one.

Where is my voice???  I was DYING for kids...like I would see a baby and my heart would drop out and melt on the floor...and then I had my son five months ago...and he is the BEST baby...SO easy...and now my husband and I are talking about being done.  At one.  And it seems so right.  I don't have the voice and wish I did.  Oh, the guilt.  Congrats, Rebecca, can't wait to meet #3!!!

Good! Because if your brain is screaming for another you would always regret not at least trying for baby #3.

OH MY: THAT PHOTO! Wowie. That photo would make any woman want to get pregnant again, or get pregnant for the first time anyhow. Never being pregnant before: I have heard about women wanting another baby even though they had just had one, and I always found it crazy.

But you know what?

With such a beautiful/wonderful mother such as yourself, I say, "Go for it." Go right ahead with baby number three. I don't even know you but it makes me so happy that you'd want another one (and trust me I don't feel that way about OTHER women). I guess it's because through reading your blog I know that you'd be just as good a mother to your third child as you are to Archer & Fable. The third one will be JUST AS BLESSED as the two you have, to have you for a mother.

Whenever you decide to have your third child, even if it's five years from now: I hope to still be reading about your life with your husband and your beautiful children. Please, never stop writing. Ever.

<3

I had these same thoughts...While pregnant with #3, I was so fucking uncomfortable and miserable and fat and uncomfortable (yes, it was so bad that I mentioned it twice).  At least once a day, I would say, "I'm never doing this again.  I will NEVER be pregnant again.  We're done."  Fast forward to the day we're in the van driving home from the hospital with our FOUR DAY OLD BABY in the back seat....I turned to my husband and said, "I think we should have one more."  And so we did.  Because there was a voice in my head that said, "We're not done yet.  Just one more."

I love this!  I am the oldest of 4 kids from a mother who didn't want kids until she met my father, and then oh my God, does my Dad love babies!  Seriously, unless my mother had said 4 was enough he would have had a dozen more.  He's a grandpa now and that seems to appease him, although he still is that weird guy who talks to every baby he sees, and even weirder every mom of those babies let him do it, even when he tickles their bellies or makes silly faces at them.  Yeah, one of those.  

And with Archer and Fable being so cute, why wouldn't you want another?  

me too! IUD and all. My second is only 3 months old. My first is not yet two and a half.

I read this post and felt a little weepy.....i know that feeling you describe because i experienced it too.  And you know what?  When my third son was born and i held him in those first few moments, i whispered to him "here you are, i've been waiting for you" and i knew right then as soon as i laid eyes on him, cradled him close, that our family was complete.  For us, three boys (four if you count my hubby) is perfect....i hope for you your dreams come true too  :-)

As the mother of a 20yr old, a 17yr old and a 4yr old...yes you read that right...I never felt done.  Practically, logically, financially, and then eventually age-wise, I knew I should be done, but I was never sure.  

I had a very vivid dream of someone handing me a fat, bald, beautiful baby girl and I was sure it was a sign my then pregnant sister and/or friend was having a girl.  Both turned out to be boys.  Then a couple of years later, at the age of 40..yikes...I was pregnant and gave birth to what I believe was that same baby girl!

Shortly after she was born, I had a peaceful feeling that I was done, I just knew it.  So the point of this whole thing is I agree w/ you...you're not done till you're done!

btw, I love your blog and look forward to watching your family grow and bloom!  

I can remember feeling EXACTLY the same way when my second was born in 1990.  I kept saying "we're not all here yet."  So weird that you would write that.  I suppose many women feel and have felt that.  I got goosebumps when I read that.  By the way, I went on and had two more, and after my fourth, I knew we were complete.  lol

I remember saying that 3 was going to be enough. But lately I've been hearing that voice. The one that says "Hey don't forget about me. I belong to your family too." I've come to accept that we will have 4 someday. But the thing the scares me to death is the thought that 4 might not be all there is either. What if I'm supposed to have 5 or *gasp* 6 kids? Not sure I can handle that.

Thanks for putting so eloquently my own thoughts.

i'm glad ur a liar :)

Fable's dirty knees and crazy hair just sucker punched me in the ovaries.

Yay more babies!  With the quality of the ones you have already produced I fully support another :)

hey rebecca -- we have a three year old son and a 15 month old daughter. we thought we would have #3 "someday" - you know, a bit down the road. i even spent a half hour discussing birth control options with my midwife last month... found out 3 days later number 3 is on the way. its a bit of a shock, but i'm coming around now. scary to face, since our financial situation isn't the greatest (whose is?). What i really want to know is why is it that telling people that you are having a third child seems to be met with as much enthusiasm as if i were 18 an announcing my third! even my parents - "oh... was this....planned?"  thanks for the support!

Maybe Im truly insane, but I have a 10 month old now, and i still hear 4 more little voices yelling, "Hey, you! When do we get to join the party?" Husband and I are pretty much dead-set on 5.

I'm going the other way. I thought I wanted more than four children but now that I'm pregnant with number four I think we're done, and I guess I'm ok with that.

Would you stop?! If I continue to read your posts I think I may end up wanting a kid. Which I thought I didn't. Not for me. Wouldn't know how.

I wish my voice would stop being so dang elusive and speak clearly. One day it says "hell no you are not doing this again" and then the next it is telling me to "go ahead, have another!"

wow.  this? this is EXACTLY how I feel.  I was SO done with my third.  The pregnancy was long and uncomfortable, and I was just done.  my whole life I wanted three kids, I had three kids and that was that. But slowly, it started creeping in.  That feeling that I wasn't done yet.  That feeling that there was another child out there in teh ether, just waiting for me to bring him or her into the world.  But four kids? Five?  No, no, three is plenty, three is perfect, thank you.  And I try to convince myself that this is our family.  I try to focus on how wonderful it all is right now and how another child would stretch our finances and my patience and my time beyond bearing.  But our family? This perfect little unit of five? It isn't complete.  I'm just not done yet.

How could you be done when you make such beautiful little babies!?

Thank you for being so honest!!!  I LOVE hearing a woman admit this out loud, on the internet, for all to read.  I have been married for almost a year and have been hearing that voice inside my head since we walked down the aisle.  Yet all the outside voices (my friends and husband) are saying WAIT!  Be married and travel the world.  But I can't tell the voice in my head that, it doesn't want to wait and travel the world.  It wants a baby.  I'm trying to be patient, focus on the good life my husband and I have.  If only I could figure out how to the voice in my head tune out, or at least quiet it a bit.  How do you do it?

Rebecca, I seriously have a girl crush on you! Your blog and your honesty make me feel so normal! I just had my first, he's 7 weeks and it is the most amazing rush, joy, privilege and journey. I too before I could even walk correctly from squeezing this little guy out was ready to do it again!!

I want to chime in from the other side. Yes, I love kids, and yes, I'm addicted to reading "mommy blogs." BUT my voice has been adamant since I was 9 years old that I would NOT be a mom. I'm 41 now; been pregnant 3 times (2 abortions and 1 miscarriage), all three times were birth control failures. One was when I was 20, one 25, and the miscarriage was when I was 38. Before that last one, I had told myself for years that if I got pregnant again I would definitely have it. Why? Because it seemed like the thing to do and because for about 12 seconds when I was 28, I felt the pull toward giving birth. But, holy hell, when that stick said Pregnant 10 years later, I broke down. The overwhelming screaming in my head was NO NO NO I don't want this. My partner agreed, and, apparently so did my body. After the miscarriage, I had my tubes tied and I feel free.

I am such a fan of motherhood and of children, but they are not for me. The message to me is, you  must LISTEN to your voice. Had I seen any of my pregnancies through, I'm positive I would regret it. For those of you thinking you might want more, LISTEN UP and keep listening.

First time commenter, long time reader. I so know what you mean. After my first I was ready to have another, and after my second I was ready to have another. My  baby is now 2 and there are days where I want to say "Fuck the condom, let's make a baby!" If the economy were different and if I didn't have a heart problem that puts me on bed rest during pregnancy (and doctors have advised me to not get pregnant again)we would try again. We have three boys collectively and I really would love a daughter to share just being a girl with. But I am happy being the mother of boys, I just hate being the minority in the house! Oh and the dogs, we have three!

Oohh Gemini. Things in twos. So pedictable. Shit baby, I had a pet rat once and knew it needed a companion, so I got her one. I eat finger foods in pairs too.

My daughter was born four weeks ago, and after we got past that first week I started feeling like two wouldn't be enough. Two pair seemed right. Mmmbaby delight.  

we said the same thing. 2, and we're done. Our oldest is 6, youngest is 4. I too, had that same feeling.. like I would be missing a family member should we stop at 2.

we are currently expecting #3.     =)

I got engaged under the assumption that we both agreed that there would be no children. I turned to him about a month and a half later and said "You can bail out now if you want, but I'm pretty sure we're having a kid." Completely out of nowhere, for both of us. Now we're both in agreement that there will only be one. I suppose we'll just see how that goes.

I have a feeling you're going to have one earlier than you planned and that he/she will be an Aquarius or something.

Wow, thank you so much for writing this - I have been feeling like I am going crazy, because my little boy is 19 months old, and I thought I would be fine with one. But now, I've got these voices in my head that are saying Baby, baby baby, baby, let's get another baby..." especially when I'm walking somewhere in the city, and then, uh oh when I actually see a baby in a stroller? I hear "BABY BABY BABY BABY!!!!! YAY BABY, HAVE A BABY!" (Obviously my inner voice is quite a bit less well-spoken then yours)

Ouch.  This post stings a little.  I always said if we were going to have one we would have two--without a doubt.  But then I had our first and it was hard work and I had PPD and everything in our lives got turned upside down.  Maybe I waited too long to have kids.  Maybe I am only supposed to have one beautiful, smart, hilarious little girl.  But I have the voice in my head too.  I think of baby names all day.  I wonder what it would be like to BF another baby.  Would I have a totally different birth experience?  What would it be like to hold another newborn in my arms for the first time?  How could I deprive my daughter of a sibling? I know we are simply not ready to have another child and I am getting old and I feel like time is running out.

Wow, I read through all of the comments and am surprised (well not too surprised)to see so many women with the same feelings. I remember my mom telling me this EXACT thing when I was a kid. I am one of 3. I have an older brother and a younger sister. My mom said after I was born, she just knew that "someone was missing." And that someone was my little sister. And once she was here, my mom knew we were complete.

And I totally know what you mean about thinking that 3 feels "right". We don't have any kiddos yet, but hubby and I have always tentatively "agreed" on 2. But I feel like I already know that 2 won't be it. I just hope hubby and I feel the same way when the time comes:)

Good luck, Rebecca. It's a personal decision, but I'm sure I can speak for many of us when I say that I'd love to see you with another. You (and Hal of course) make such beautiful babies!

Thanks, you guys. And thank you for sharing your stories. xo