Straight From the Bottle

My mother always said to avoid anything that affects your natural cycle. Her words: "It comes out for a reason more than science ... sanity."

It's funny that I was just reading all the info on the Mirena and you post this. I like the idea of not dealing with birth control, but it kinda freaks me out in a way. I need a great method that won't mess with me and will prevent kids!

Hormonal contraceptives make me literally nuts. Depressed, ragey, withdrawn, so me and my man use condoms. It's mildly a hassle but also much better than throwing your laptop speakers when you have a internet connection.

i love this. i too have zero sex drive now. no iud for me, but i do have a 4 month old baby. im blaming it on her...

I had Mirena too and had the same side effects!

And, it totally doesn't hurt coming out.  One quick tug and that's it!!

My sis in law has one - I wonder what it's doing to her. I have no sex drive either but my problem is depression. Lame. My birth control method is fingers crossed - not that I want to hump any how.  *sigh*

I am basically in the same place, except I spot constantly with the Mirena since it was placed a couple of months ago and can't tell whether the lack of a sex drive might have more to do with the four-month-old baby attached to me much of the time.  Anyway, I had the copper IUD between my first and second babies, and it was fine but the periods were really heavy.  So far, not happy with the Mirena, but don't want to go back to copper.  But I CANNOT figure out what to use instead.  The pill is out since I'm breastfeeding, and I know too many people who got pregnant on the "mini-pill."  Condoms, sponge, diaphragm are all unappealing and not as effective as I'd like.  And even though we're 99% sure we're stopping at two kids, I don't want to do anything permanent.

So the Mirena is staying in for now.

I LOVED my Mirena. It didn't stop my periods (though they were a little lighter) and it also didn't mess with my sex drive (thank goodness!). Still, when it came time to have it removed last October, I opted not to have another one inserted. Because, yeah, a piece of plastic stuck in my cervix for several more years? How is that okay?

Of course, the Mirena is the ONLY birth control that's ever worked for me. The pill makes me puke (even the ones with the lowest dose of hormone that only work if you take them at the EXACT same time every single day), the ring turned me into a giant crazy depressed migraine on legs. You get the point...

So the IUD came out in October, *before* we figured out our alternative birth control plan. It's now January, and I'm 9 weeks pregnant. Whoops. :)

It's okay for us. We were planning on having another baby... eventually. But yeah. I highly recommend getting the alternative figured out before yanking the IUD. And, maybe if you're two condom hating people like we are, maybe don't plan on *that* being the alternative. Heh. (I'm saying that more to myself than to you. Lesson learned.)

Good luck, and god speed on the return of your sex drive!  

I totally hear you, I am constantly trying to find a new depression/anxiety med that actually works but doesn't kill my sex drive or make my hands shake.  Thank goodness I have a sweet husband who understands!

I got mine on the great recommendations from your column before, you bitch!

Ok, only kidding.  I've only had mine for a month but I also have ZERO sex drive so far.  Except unfortunately it was like that *before* the mirena too.  I don't know why, but man, it really sucks.

Hormones just suck.  Good luck finding a replacement that works for you.  Let us know what you switch to, because I would love hormone free suggestions.

I had the Mirena for 2 years and took it out for pretty much all the reasons you mentioned plus the additional fear of not being able to have children because of it. My Dr. at the time, prescribed it to all his patients as THE BEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER!!!! And I was suckered in. I didn't do any research on it, I just blindly agreed. Afterwards, when I had a period for almost a year straight, I decided to do some research and found out that it can cause quite a bit of damage to your womanly parts. Of course, most of the damage happens with the insertion, and since I already had it in, I was like FUUUUCK! What if I'm damaged? So I had it removed and then faced the same issue as you - what do I use now? And, in the midst of all of that, yup! You guessed it! I got pregnant. So... I guess it didn't damage me.

Good luck - a lot of my friends use the Nuva Ring and really like it - just a suggestion.

Thanks for your input. I've had my Mirena in since November, and I'm okay with it except that I've been bleeding non-stop ever since having it inserted and I'm now anemic due to that. I go to the doctor's tomorrow, and I'm torn. On the one hand, I hate not having to take The Pill. On the other hand...yeah.

Been there and yanked it!  I feel much better now.  Still kinda bitchy but starting to realize that might just be who I am. ;-)

I feel your pain.  I'm not on an IUD, but Nuvaring.  I need the special hormones in The Ring to keep my cycles in check, but my drive is also at a fat zero.  And I'm a newlywed.  The hubs is supportive and understanding, but it sucks.  Isn't this when we shouldn't be able to keep our hands off one another?  Yeah, no.  Instead, I'm thinking how long is too long before I feel sorry for him.  I can't wait to see what some people suggest.  I, too, am ready to have that spark back!  Good luck!

I recommend the ring - still get periods, but at least I'm not [forgetting]taking a pill every day.

ooooh, yikes, see, i allllmost went on Mirena too because i hated the pill, but then i read a discussion board where people were like HORMONES BAD and i realized, wow, if my sex drive on the pill sucks (it did), then Mirena will be worse. So I made the husband get The Big Snip. BWAhahahahhaa cough cough.

I had Mirena too...biggest mistake ever!!  I don't know why I ever left my beloved ortho evra patch, but I immediately went back to the patch after the iud was yanked. Have been back to normal ever since.

:)

Thank you for this post.  I was literally going to make an appointment tomorrow to get the IUD.  Now I'm NOT!  I'm on the Nueva Ring and it's okay.  My sex drive is okay, could be better and it's nice not having to take a pill every day.

Good to know. I went of hormonal BC pills in September because even a "low dose" pill killed my sex drive. Gone. Totally gone.  Now 4 months off of it, my mojo is back. We don't love them, but we're using condoms. Or well, we were, until we decided we were ready to stop trying NOT to get pregnant. Anyway, I doubt I'll ever return to anything containing hormones ever again. And while condoms suck, I do like the lack of mess, and the fact that they don't eff with my sex drive. Best of luck getting your mojo back.

Yup, that's why I don't do the hormonal types of bc.  I am a FREAK on hormones.  My copper IUD is really the best alternative for me.  I don't necessarily like it, but since I don't do hormones and I am allergic to spermicide, I am left with very few options.  I still have my sex drive with the paraguard and my cycle is pretty much back to normal after having it in a year, so aside from the strings and the paranoia that I might get pregnant anyway, it works well.

Yep, this post could have been written about me.  Except for the period thing.  My period lasted for 6 months.  Then I had the damn thing pulled out.  You'll find something that works for you.

that sounds bad. i recommend the ring too. nuva ring is great. you only need to think about it once a month (okay, twice. once to put it in, once to take it out.) lighter periods. i don't think it did anything to my sex drive. you won't feel it, and neither will hal.

I have had the same problem with Mirena, my sex drive is at ZIP...my poor boyfriend is so depressed because of it too!! and i've had mine in for three and a half years...I only keep it because it's still effective, i don't have to pay for anything else, and i don't know what would be nearly as convienient...but it does take a LOT of coaxing to get me in the mood...

at least you don't have a period...cause mine still shows up JUST enough to ruin my day

glad to know someone else hates it. at least i get to take mine out in october when we get married in october, i just don't want to be pregnant at my wedding!

Oh my gosh, thank you for posting about this. I have been planning on getting an IUD because I hate pills, and condoms are no fun. But I'm DONE having babies (I thiiiiink??) so I figured an IUD would be the best thing after Nutella Butterfinger is born next month. But I'm so very worried about the hormones. And I feel like doctors never really tell the whole story when you ask them. Probably because all the ones I see have penises (not more than one each though! At least I hope not.) and have no idea how jacked artificial hormones can make your body feel.

So this is an excellent post. I'm curious to see what other people say, and if anyone has tried the copper IUD with any success or otherwise.

I know everyone is bashing on hormonal birth control, but don't forget about Depo Provera (the shot). It's progesterone-based rather than estrogen-based. And you only have to get the shot about every three months. I've been on it for 2 years & I love it. No periods for most (which does weird me out a little, but whatev). Just keep it in mind! It can be a good option. :)

I had my Mirena removed last November because of the same reasons as you plus a severe depression that almost killed my marriage.

Now I'm all better and my body has almost returned to normal again.

I hope you find something better to replace it with.

You should get the NuvaRing. I've had mine for nearly a year, and I love it. It's a little weird putting it in there... as it just kinda hangs out, sitting in your vagina (I had the idea that I was supposed to "have a place" when I first signed up for it... but nope, just sits in there.) My husband can feel it when we have sex, but he says it's not a bad thing at all, sometimes even a little... enjoyable?

I had the same phenomenon a few years ago when I tried the gamut of hormonal options. My boyfriend (now my husband) was infinitely patient, but the breaking point eventually came when he declared it was "perfect birth control - because abstinence is 100% effective."

Sigh.

I went to the diaphragm. Slightly inconvenient, but works for us, and no side effects whatsoever. So consider that an option.

Ha ha, "T shaped penis poker"! Okay, now I can concentrate. I just had to laugh at that first! I haven't had any problems on the Mirena (thank the heavens) but your experience sounds just awful. I'm so sorry!

I love my Mirena - had it for over 4 years now and didn't have my periods after the first month of almost constant spotting (that I was told to expect), sex-drive is OK, no guy every complained about feeling it  so I really can't complain. But I never had problems on the pill before so my body just takes hormones well I guess.

In fact I'll get a new one in a few weeks, bit scared about the yanking part but I have a great doc so I hope its OK.

I originally found your blog when I was researching IUDs, and your positive experience was one of the reasons I got a mirena. Then I bled consistently for 6 months and completely lost my sex drive (I guess this is more normal for those of us who have never had a baby). I got mine taken out after 6 months, and switched to a low-dose estrogen pill and I take a probiotic pill everyday to combat yeast infections. Sorry if this is TMI, but the comments on your original IUD post were helpful to me, and I hope my experience is helpful for someone else!

My mom had the mirena for... two years? In between getting it and figuring out that it was complete and total crap at helping her with her problems, we lost our insurance. She hated it so much that she ended up figuring out how to remove it herself. It messed up her cycle (she had perpetual period), which killed things with her and my dad for a while (picture me covering my ears and singing la-la-la). It also caused this awful constant bloating. I'm sorry that your experience has also been less than awesome, but hopefully this will let more women know that it's a major trade-off.

Fingers crossed that you find a good solution!

I had this problem when I was on the pill - no sex drive and it SUCKED. I was also a newlywed and it didn't really go so well having a hubby who wanted to do it all the time and having no libido in return. I actually ended up going a different route all together by going off the pill and using the fertility awareness method (FAM). The book 'Taking Charge of Your Fertiliy' by Toni Weschler explains it all. You take your temp every morning and watch how your cervical fluid changes over the course of a month to predict when you're going to ovulate. You end up not having to use condoms for nearly three out of four weeks of every month. And it's amazing how easy your body is to read. We survived a long time with this method before having a baby, and I had no problems getting pregnant when we decided the time was right - which goes to show that it actually was working. Seriously, it may sound like a lot of work, but it's incredibly fascinating and surprisingly easy. And it's an amazing read regardless of whether you use the method or not - I think it should be a required book in high school health class. .. Regardless, it's something not often talked about, but is insanely amazing and you get to keep your libido!

Paragard (copper) IUD user, here.

It's not perfect, certainly. But I'm on my second one, so that tells you something.  I definitely have heavier periods with it (and my periods were heavy to begin with). I also have several days of spotting before my "real" (i.e. heavy bleeding) period. However, taking Vitex (chaste tree berry) every day from ovulation to the first day of my period REALLY helps with the spotting.

I keep hoping there's some super-secret, totally AWESOME birth control out there...and I just haven't heard of it. Apparently, if it's out there, none of you have heard of it either.

No such thing as TMI, Liz. Thank you for sharing your experience!!! I forgot to mention that The Mirena caused yeast infections for me, too!!! And I had NEVER had one before. Ever. Until I got an IUD.

And thanks to all for sharing your experiences. Very helpful (to me as well as those who read) xo.

the pill.  just remember to take it.  i'm on apri.  it is excellent for me.

Yuck.  How frustrating!

I can't advise on the birth control part (I went with tied tubes along with the last c-section), and the pill always went well for me.

But!  If you are in a situation of having periods again, I want to throw in my two cents for the Diva Cup.  Discovered that about a year ago, and no more tampons or pads and it's made periods no big deal for me anymore.

Good luck, and I hope you feel like yourself again soon.

I had the Mirena pulled out after two months of non-stop bleeding and terrible mood swings. I was also told that the hormones in the IUD were minimal and unlikely to cause problems. I had been on the pill prior to having my baby, and tolerated those hormones well. For whatever reason, the Mirena hormones didn't agree with me. I don't even know if my sex drive was decreased  since I was too volatile/unpleasant to be approached for sex, and I had a tiny baby.

Word. I completely agree with Korinthia - the Diva Cup rocks.

Ya know...I had read your post about loving your IUD a few months ago.  Back then I was still deciding on which way to go (copper or hormonal).  Well, my doc basically vetoed the copper one, so I got the Mirena.  

So far, I'm none too happy.  It hurt like HELL going in (so I'm NOT getting another one ever again...copper or otherwise).  I've been spotting ever since it was inserted about a month ago, then I got my period (I think anyway) this weekend.  Oh, and then there's the weird smell...ugh...that comes with all this "spotty" discharge, ewwww TMI "P

I'm still breastfeeding, so I can't really have any other hormonal BC, though my baby will be a year old next month...so that might not be an issue soon enough.

I'm a little weirded out by having a T-shaped thingy living in my girly parts.  I have no sex drive (though I didn't have a good one before either, poor BF).  We haven't "tested" its effectiveness, so I don't know if Peter can feel the string.  

I guess I'm torn.  I know, for me, it hasn't been long enough to really make up my mind fully.  I want to give it a few months.  At least then the cost will even out with what a packet of pills would cost per month, heh.

Your post confirmed my fears.

We're sticking with random condom use and more often than not pull out method.

Can't deal with the hormones of everything else. Don't we suffer enough already? :)

I am a Paraguard (copper) IUD user. Like Baby in Broad, I am also on my second one, and found that taking vitex helps take care of the ovulation spotting I had after my second post-baby IUD. I also recommend motherwort as a good herbal supplement that helps gently regulate and support the cycle, and it's even compatible with breastfeeding.

The Paraguard doesn't always cause heavier periods, at least not permanently. With my first IUD that I had before I got pregnant, my periods became significantly lighter and shorter after about 3 months. With the second, it took longer for my body to regulate, but I had it put in 10 weeks postpartum, so that has to be taken into consideration. Now almost 3 years down the road, my periods are longer than they were with my first IUD, when they were only three days of light bleeding from start to finish), but they are light - maybe five days of light bleeding. I can totally live with that.

As for the strings issue, they do curl up over time (a year seems unusually long) and therefore lose their prick-linesss (heh). Couldn't resist that one...

Overall, I am very happy with the Paraguard. I consider it to be the best form of contraception I have ever come across. Nothing is perfect. And it is totally compatible with my post-baby, early 30s, sexual prime mojo. Get one and get it on!

You can have a quick procedure whereby the strings are 'tucked back' behind the cervix with the Mirena. It's a separate procedure to fitting it, not many people know about it or are offered it for some reason. I had a Mirena about five years ago and the 'tucking back' fixed the ah, poking problem. But obviously it won't help the other problems. ):

Emotionally, I'm way more even keel with the Mirena than I was on the pill. And as far as the sex drive goes, does it have anything to do with the kid(s)?

My husband does despise getting poked. But I think he'd rather get that than use a condom.

I am going to second what Val said about the fertility awareness method and the book "Taking charge of your fertility". Nuvaring killed my sex drive and I had to get off it and quick. We are going to start TTC in August so I didn't want to go back on the pill and I heard about FAM and thought I would give it a try. I love it, I am so much more in tune with my body and my sex drive is back with a vengeance. We end up using a back up method (for us the sponge or condoms or withdrawal) about 10 days out of every cycle.

wow i am sooo glad i'm not alone. I have been contemplating taking out my Mirena because of the cysts i got on my uterus, no sex drive, emotions going crazy, the bad headaches, back aches, and now that you guys mention it, the yeast infections. My husband says he can feel it poking him, and all in all i feel like i haven't lost any of my baby weight because of it(my daughter is 1 yr old) I didn't go on anything after i had my son because me and my husband weren't living together and i never had any of these problems.

You just confirmed that i need to find another birth control asap, because it doesn't seem like this is getting any better.

I have hearrd of the Implanion, that goes in your arm for three years. I have to see if any drs will do it around here because it soundsl ike its not as bad as the shot. Anyone else have it?

I had the Mirena for about 2 years.  It didn't kill my sex drive, actually it was quite the opposite after going off of the pill.  I had it removed almost two years ago due to other issues (precancerous cells on my cervix and the procedure needed to cut them out).  My husband got snipped and now we are birth control free and loving my crazy sex drive! :)

Not to freak you out too much or anything, buuuuut....my best friend had the Mirena.  Her boyfriend could feel it when they boned.  Eventually all the boning and being able to feel it led to the Mirena attaching itself TO HER BODY and she had to have it surgically removed.  Like last week.  No bullshit.  Pleeeease don't let that happen to you.  And congrats on Hal having such a huge wien!

I totally love my Mirena.  Had a paragard several years back and didn't like it for a number of reasons.  I'm one of those people who does better on a little hormone - my acne clears right up.  I don't know about sex drive - since I'm also on antidepressants it's hard to tell what's affecting me more.  My sex drive was always higher than my husband's so I guess this sort of balances us out.  And for some reason he could feel the strings on the Paragard but not the Mirena - I think it has to do with the fact that my OB left the strings a little longer and they sort of curve upwards now rather than poking him.

Sorry you're having a shitty time on the Mirena though.  It's so hard to find just the right birth control.  There really need to be more options!

Just putting my two cents in about implanon.  I haven't tried it but my OB (who I respect immensely!) refuses to put them in because of the high rates of women having them removed due to complications.  I think the levels of hormone are much higher than the Mirena because it has to go throughout the body rather than just acting locally on the lady bits.  Just would encourage anyone to do some research about it before having it put in.

Ugh.  I was so psyched when I first heard about Mirena.  I thought that would be perfect after I had babies, but I guess not!  Am on the pill now and am just ok with it.  I'm not psycho and I'm not depressed.  I'm just kinda.....even.  My libido is a bit affected and it's not as crazy as I'd like it to be. I used to be a total horndog.  I miss my regular cycle and the highs and lows that came with it.  Is that weird to say?  

I think the answer is that being a lady is hard.  I don't want to have babies at the moment.  But I would like to bone my husband more.  Sadly, those two desires are connected and it seems like any birth control interferes in some way or another.  

I used to think FAM was crazy and I don't ever think my husband would go for it.  But man, I totally see the benefits now.  Good luck to all of us dealing with hormonal issues!

I just had my Mirena removed, because it expired and we're trying for a baby. I feel like I have got to put in a good word for it. I LOVED IT. I didn't get a single period for five years, but I could definitely still keep track of my "cycle" (boob size varies wildly based on time of the month). The idea (what I'm told) is that the hormones are enough to keep the uterine lining from building up, hence no bloody painful disgusting shedding of said lining, but the rest of your body's hormones are relatively unaffected. That's not to say it doesn't still fuck with people, but for me it was absolute bliss. Periods are yucky and I also could not tolerate hormonal birth control in any form,

I'm sorry your Mirena didn't work out and kudos to you for making a change to something that works for you. After reading all the comments about the horros of Mirena I just had to say this...

I'm about to celebrate my Mirena's second anniversary and I couldn't be happier. After years of taking the pill, then having two kids, Mirena has been wonderful. I never felt like the pill was a hassle and could have returned to that but the idea of no periods combined with the level of effectiveness (because I do NOT want any more kids) made me choose Mirena. After a few months of light periods and occasional spotting... nothing. Aunt Flo and all her misery have been sent packing. And you can keep her, I don't want her back. And as a woman in my mid-30s, my sex drive is much better than the pill years and even better because without a period I have that many more days I feel like having it. Now if I could just figure out how to have sex despite a workaholic husband and two small children who could walk in at any given moment - can they make a birth control that solves THAT problem?

FAM is the way to go.  The pill makes me bleed 24/7, and so did Nuvaring, so hormones are out for me.  Plus the Nuvaring taught me that having any foreign body in my body just does not work for me!  FAM is really interesting, and taught me tons about how my body works.  It's really easy after one or two cycles.  I've gotten to the point where I don't temp any more, I just know how to watch the other signs (like cervical height and what the discharge is like).  Then we use condoms for a week or so, and the other 3 weeks are fine.  Check out www.fertilityfriend.com, as well as Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler

Seriously, I love my Mirena. I've had it for a year. Everyone has different reactions to hormones, so don't think this happens to everyone. I've read every single horror story you can read on the internet, but I still got mine inserted and am so glad I did. Not having to worry about birth control for five years? Please and thank you!

Oooch. My OBGYN tried to sell me on a mirena and I'm glad I read message boards about the heinous mood swings, backne and dwindling sex drive. Now nearing 40, my sex drive is a shadow of its former self, so I shudder to think if it got worse. Hooo. So my hubby got snipped last fall, and now I get all misty when I see a baby. And the fun part? When I got near 40, my periods and hormones got all crazy and I started to bleed like I was stabbed. But that can all be fixed. With an IUD. Viscous cycle of being a gal...

I'm so happy that someone (you!) with such a public voice in the blogosphere has written about this.

I had the Mirena put in about 4 months after my 2nd child was born. Went in easy - minimal bleeding - a no brainer.

I had the IUD in for a total of 1 month and felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster the entire time. I even had one particularly intense couple of days where I felt suicidal. Seriously, the lowest low I've ever had.

Oh! And just like you, zero libido. It was pathetic.

I really tried, gave it my best to stick with it, but ended up removing it after 1 month. I'm back on the pill (the same one I was on years ago before the kiddos came around) and feel great. Good luck finding something that works (better) for you!

I had a Paraguard between my pregnancies and loved it. My husband did not feel the strings. I still also used a menstrual cup (The Keeper) with no problems. I experienced no pain when it was removed. The Mister is probably going to get a vasectomy after this baby is born but, if for some reason he doesn't, I'm going back to the Paraguard. Maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones where it's a great form of birth control.

I know hormonal birth control works for some people, but for me, it's been hell-hell-hell. Migraines, stroke-like symptoms, bone loss, mood swings, weight gain. I'm currently looking into natural family planning and fertility awareness methods (and no, I'm not a religious zealot - I'm an atheist Canadian hippie) because it's my last option, besides condoms every-single-time. I haven't had any babies yet, so no chance for sterilization. Good luck.

Another cheerleader for fertility awareness! I was on the pill very briefly (Yaz), and hated the lack of libido and crazy emotions it gave me. I also didn't like the fact that it thinned my uterine lining, so that if an egg did get fertilized, it wouldn't have a chance to implant. My husband and I have successfully avoided pregnancy for a little over 2 years using a combination of fertility awareness and condoms. I felt so much better almost immediately without something interfering with my hormones. they're crazy enough as it is. I would really encourage every woman to look into this option. Because it forces you to be introspective, you end up gaining a lot of insight into not just your body, but other aspects of your self as well.

PS I looveeee you writing! Thanks for sharing your life with us. :-)

Definitely do not go with Implanon! The main problems for me wer no sex drive and the bleeding. When the OBGYN advised me that "menstrual irregularities" were common, I was thinking spotting here or there...a little late some months, a little early others. I was not prepared for the four month long period that I had. The day I had it removed, the bleeding stopped.

I have to go workout so I was lazy and didnt read any other comment.

I am, however, a cheerleader for the NuvaRing. Seriously, changing its like changing the Brita filter, you have the stickers with the date, you forget its in there. By forget, I mean, dont feel. Its not that slightly awkward awareness you get with the tampon, which while comfortable, you still know its there when you shift just so.

Ive been on it for years now, and neither of my two guys [one after the other ;)] ever had a complaint about it killing their mojo to have it in there during the sex. They forget its there too.

It also doesn't mess with moods. If you suffer from severe PMS or even , what is it, PPMD? It helps cut back significantly. Oh, and no dead libido.

If you are looking for convenience, like the IUD, I vote NuvaRing.

I love the Mirena. But I still get my period, WTF?!

Maybe not, not this month. My sex drive is okay...it's on drive......slow drive.

But I had a first unplanned pregnancy, and until I get married, that shit is staying in.

I have the copper one...  had it inserted in december so it's been just over a month.  and so far...uh...well....  let's see.  it hurt like MF going in and i threw up in the car on the way home (while driving - actually had to pull over to the side of the road!) so that part was AWESOME.  i basically spotted for 2 weeks straight except it was more period than spotting...  and then i "think" i had a period.  someone mentioned weird smelly discharge and thank god because i thought it was me and my vag was broken.  i basically wear a panty liner every day just in case which doesn't lead to me flipping up a skirt and getting it on randomly...  i'm on the fence with this - it seems so easy...except for since i got it inserted.  :)  

i'm definitely NOT comfortable with this foreign thing inside me and if i didn't already have a plan to get it removed next december (that was the plan all along) then i'd just have it taken out now and go back to using my wits as BC.

Bec-

I've been using Paragard (the copper IUD) for as long as you've been on Mirena, and I have to say that I still absolutely love it.

It is the best non-hormone birth control method that I've found and I'm thrilled with it.

My periods have not been noticeably heavier at all.

I wish you the best of luck in finding something that works for you and your husband.

Sara

Isn't it crazy that we STILL don't have a birth control option that works without any major downsides? Sheesh.

Funny you should write about this -- I have the Paraguard (the copper one) specifically because I didn't want the hormones in my body. I finally just got my period about 9 months after I gave birth, and I'm not sure if it's still messed up because I'm breastfeeding, but it comes fast and furious. FURIOUS. Heavier periods? Ohmygod. More painful? OH. MY. GOD. Thankfully it only lasts for a couple of days (I might die of blood loss otherwise), but I was seriously reconsidering my choice until I read this. I would still take the Paraguard over the Mirena. What I'm absolutely not ready for is to get knocked up again, so in the IUD will stay.

Oh, and was inserting the IUD RIDICULOUSLY painful for anyone else??? My cervix wasn't taking it at first and the pain was intense -- coming from someone who went through natural labor a mere three months prior.

Like the ladies above, I think that being aware of your fertility is awesome - empowering, even. However, charting and "awareness" - while powerful tools - are not fool-proof.

We charted while trying to conceive our daughter. I learned so much about my body and how it reacts. I learned about my cycle and became able to predict ovulation.

We used this same cycle pattern as birth control after our daughter was born. It worked wonderfully. Until I got pregnant. ;) I'm due in August of this year. At least I found out before Christmas; the poor thing would have been floating in rum and eggnog!

My advice? Use condoms. Use them every time. Those eggs are tricky little things, and they sometimes show up without RSVPing.

I've had 3 IUD's (between each of my kids), but none of them were Mirena. I've gotten the paraguard (copper) each time because I don't like the idea of hormones.

It's worked awesome for me. My periods aren't heavy (2 reg. days and 2 light days) and I've had zero side effects.

I had my first for 2 years, had it removed to TTC, and got pregnant the following month.

Had the 2nd for 3 1/2 years, same thing, had it removed to TTC, pregnant the next month.

Had the 3rd for 3 years and just had it removed last month because we are crazy and are TTC #4. If we succeed, I'll def. be getting another IUD afterwards.

After reading all of the comments, I'm really glad to have found a birth control that works for me.

I have a copper IUD, that I love.  My periods are heavier, but not terrible.  I'm yeast infection-prone, but haven't had any in the nearly 3-years I've had my IUD.  I was worried about wicked cramps with my period with the IUD - my mom had hers yanked years ago for that reason - but that hasn't been a problem at all for me.  I think the string thing is a little bit about making sure they get tucked back, and a little bit about how short the person who put it in cut them.  My midwife recommended that I stick my finger up there every so often for the first month to encourage the strings to wrap up around the cervix.  After a while they sort of mold themselves to that position and just stay there.  But if they are cut too short, they won't stay "tucked" and that's when the guys get poked.

I didn't want hormones, I wanted as close to 100% effective as I could get, but I'm not quite ready for snipping yet, so Paraguard was the only option left.  

Let me put in another good word for the Diva cup - LOVE mine, and it helps me manage the heavy periods.  

I have the Paragard for about 2 years and have been having super heavy periods.  We're talking one super plus tampon per HOUR for the first 2-3 days. I've also had a lot of spotting and cramping.  The spotting has gotten worse lately, and I'm considering pulling the plug (pun intended).  I'm considering FAM plus condoms but am scared that it won't work.

My Mirena made me completely insane. Here's a warning--I got mine out midcycle and then proceeded to bleed 16 ounces in three days. I use a Diva cup, and that thing has ounce markers on it. I thought I was going to die. Like, once, the second day, I changed out the cup, walked out my front door to take the kids to the park, got ONE block, and gushed blood all down my legs. It usually takes a minimum of three hours to fill on my very heaviest days. So, I would wait til right after a cycle to pull it, but that might not even help.

I feel ya' sister!  After having 4 little girls in 5.5 years, I just got one..and have had the same experience.  I was ELATED about a birth control method that I could count on while not inundating my body with hormones that make me miserable...now I'm just stuck with one that works(hopefully) but makes me run and hide or pretend that I can't recall how we got all these babies to start..what to do....?

So, try the Nuvaring!  I love it.  Leave it in for 3 weeks, then take it out during your period.  The other "bonus" side effect....never am I dry as the dessert.

I got the Mirena IUD after my first pregnancy, when I found out that the pill caused my blood pressure to skyrocket.  I liked it and didn't have any problems.  Then about a year ago I had it removed with the intentions to get pregnant with a second child.  About a month later I was in the ER in a ridiculous amount of pelvic pain.  Cause?  A massive infection of my reproductive system.  (seriously, needing morphine from the exam.   Ugh!)  My second son was born a few weeks ago and now I find myself trying to figure out what to do this time around.  

Good luck with your decision!

I sympathize. I just pulled out my nuva ring last month after a few years of use. I wanted to throw it out the bathroom window, but that seemed environmentally questionable. My OBGYN linked my ring to freaky periods, and possibly even my UTIs and migraines. Woopy. My husband said he could feel the ring (yuck). The ring was also a sex drive destroyer. In the last month I've definitely had more sex than I may have had in the last six month combined. Sorry for the over share, but wow! I'm still not even off the hormones completely. We're using FAM and we'll just see if this actually works. Cross you're fingers I suppose. www.tcoyf.com - info on FAM.

Have you ever considered the rhythm method?  I know it seems like a pain to track your ovulation each month but they even have an iphone/blackberry application for it that helps you remember.  All you have to do is avoid having sex during your fertile time and that's that.  Alternatively, you could use a condom during the fertile period if you gotta get your groove on.  

Anyway, it works for me.  No hormones, no t-bones in my vag, no diaphrams to shove up there every time I want to get laid.  Just charting and checking my cervical fluid on occasion.  

It seems a lot of us women-folk and birth control (of any sorts) seem to have the same side-effect: prudishness.

My solution is to SNIP HIM.  However, when the subject is approached, he suddenly talks about mythical Baby #4... looks like he's NEVER going to get laid again.

All my friends have the mirena, but I chose not to because of the hormones.  I had a problem with depo wiping out my sex drive-it is 100% effective when you have zero sex!  After one baby conceived while I was nursing, and another while I was nursing and on the minipill...we are using condoms which I hate.  But the low estrogen pills killed my milk supply instantly so I had to stop til I wean my baby (#3 in 3 yrs).

I have 4 kids. One was concieved while I was breastfeeding (excusively) another, no period either just "Poof", PG again. Another was concieved while on the "patch". As my marriage was basically OVER (after 19 years) I was without birth control for 2 years, but without sex also.

Then...I met the man of my dreams--his big con? He had 4 kids. Which worked out to be OK, they are cute and all (LOL). His big Pro? Vasectomy, baby. Which was a requirement in my online dating profile (kidding).

I'm also at my one year anniversary of my Mirena and I still LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE it.  Hormones affect different women differently--the pill throws me into a deep depression.  

I don't buy into the "you should have periods" argument for a second.  It's also "natural" to pull teeth without anesthetic and I'm not doing that either.

Having worked at Planned Parenthood, the Mirena is the most reliable bc other than sterilization and abstinence.

If you're done having kids, you can get the Essure.

My baby was born in April, and hubby and I have been back to condoms ever since.  They're not perfect, but there is sort of a throwback, clandestine feel to the whole thing, which can be fun!  I'm happy to be off the hormones (former pill and nuvaring user, and for the record,  I didn't love the ring because I could often feel it), and for now, and the amount of time we have for sex these days, I'm content and he is too.

I have the copper IUD (Paragard) and I LOVE it.  My first period was rough but each period is getting lighter and less crampy.  I think people really exaggerate the longer/crampier period thing.  And it's the best thing that ever happened to my sex life.  The bf can't keep up.  I also work in womens health and I think IUDs are the best option out there.

I had the same experience Rebecca with no period for a year and ended up pulling it out. I just found I was constantly second-guessing if I was in fact, pregnant because I had the tender breasts etc. I like to be aware of my cycle and with Mirena I really had no idea--ever! Using condoms now and working fine.

Oh man! I'm so glad you got to blogging this because now my situation makes A LOT more sense. I never considered Mirena would mess with my once sterling sexual patterns. Now, I can't even fathom having sex with my husband sometimes and I even started considering maybe I was going through a bout of depression again. But c'mon...I'm 21...I should be doing it daily, nightly and ever so rightly. And right now, I'm kind of considering Mirena my EX-BFF.

Thank you for sharing!

I had my Mirena for 3 wks.  It was inserted 7 or 8 wks post (2nd) baby, on a Friday.  I spent the weekend feeling like my body was going to ache itself into pieces.  The teeeeny bit of hormone?  It made me crazy.  I called my ob/gyn in tears and made an appt to have it pulled.  My body freaks out with any kind of birth control, and we knew our 2nd baby completed our family, so 2 wks later I had a tubal ligation.  The best sex is worry-and-extra-hormone free!  

I had mine in for about 8 months, and I kept hoping it would get better. :/ Never really did. I spotted every time I picked something up, had migraines, low sex drive. Then I tried the Nuvaring, which I really liked except it lowered my sex drive as well after a few months. We just went back to condoms and that's been about the best thing we ever decided to do.

There is better stuff out there, just not for women in the US.   Women in Canada and Europe have access to Persona and other small fertility computer thingys.  Basically, you pee on a stick 8 times per month, and it gives you a green light (yay!) or a red light (get out the condoms.)  I think it has a failure rate of only 2 - 6%.  I used Persona for a few years before we decided that we wanted to have a baby.  (It helped with that too;  just have sex on a red light day - pregnant the very first month we were trying!)

A friend was sending me the test strips from Germany.  We lost touch after my daughter was born.  I have the Minera IUD now.  I *love* it, but my sister had some pretty major problems.  I've also tried the Paraguard, but the bleeding and cramping was so awful I had to get that thing pulled.  Ick.

The heavy periods with the copper IUD really suck, not to mention heavy cramping.  I did not like it at all.  All that crap has a negative effect on me.  Birth control pills give me migraines.  I haven't tried any of the new stuff and have no desire too.  I once had a Depo injection and it took me a year to feel normal again.  And I only had 1 injection.  Ugh!  The joys of womanhood.  

We gave up on birth control and just use the old withdraw method.  We're rolling the dice, in more ways than one.

Hey Rebecca,

If it's important that your period stays away, then I can't help you. If you're willing to 'welcome' it back, then I can definitely recommend you the Nuvaring. Although I suppose it has a TOTALLY different name on your side of the ocean. Anyway, it is a plastic ring you put inside you (not painful at all!) and you let it be for three weeks. Then you pull it out and a few days later your period begins. After a week you put a new one in. With this ring you can extend your cycle to five weeks instead of four, and you can 'plan' your period if you don't want it on a holiday for instance. The upside: you only have to think about the thing twice a month: to pull it out and to stick it in. And my boyfriend never felt it, not like he felt the string of the IUD... Oh, and it works with hormones, so your period is not so bad as without contraception. But it doesn't have enough hormones to mess with your sex drive! It has less hormones than the pill because it goes straight to the blood instead of passing through the stomach first.

Good luck finding a new one!

A Belgian GGC-fan...

giiiiirl get yo strings snipped! They don't have to be long.... and FYI they soften over time and they are less 'poke-y'! I'd take localized hormones over systemic anyday.. hurray for Mirena!

i have had the copper iud for almost a year and its been great.  after being on the pill for so long i am finally getting my sex drive back and feel like a normal young women.  it took some getting used to but overall i like it better than the pill.

I know, I stopped all hormone therapy for the exact same reason and now my husband and I only use the withdrawal method.  Look, it has a failure fate of like 4% if done perfectly.  Which we do.  The weird thing?  When I told some of my friends the reason why I decided to stop hormonal birth control they were like, "Yeah, no sex drive, so what?"  I received the same type of response from my gyno. Geeze, sexual desire is part of being human; it's one of the great sensual pleasures in life and I for one am not going to sacrifice that.  So glad to hear someone else is having the same experience and has decided not to just accept it!    

i have a copper IUD for the second time (took the first one out, had a baby and got the second one) and it's great. i used pills in my teens and early twenties but realised (after i stopped taking them) that the hormones made me lightly depressed and gave me anxienty attacs. considering all the side effects it's seriously f*cked up that the only contraceptive for women without hormones (except for condoms) is the cooper IUD, while there are lots and lots with hormones. WHY isn't there more research on hormone-less alternatives? and WHERE are the male contraceptives? why are we women the ones who have to take responsibility (and get sick) for the ability to have babyless sex? isn't that a responsibility that should be shared?

Not Sprintec. I took it religiously, at the same time everyday, for eight months. Now I'm pregnant. Just saying, you've been warned.

My inability to find a birth control that didn't make me crazy/asexual/depressed resulted in the birth of my son. I cannot believe it is 2010 and we haven't found a better way than pumping ourselves full of hormones or wrapping our special parts with latex.

I also chart, but it's not a big deal if I get pregnant. I used Nuva ring for awhile and it was fine...aside from the bacterial infections and yeast issues. I am prone to those and having something crammed in there made it worse. I've used Yasmin and yaz as well. Yaz gave me heart burn the entire month I was on it. I've charted for a year and I feel like I have my body back.

I have two words for you...

vah sectomy.

After I tossed my iud, hubby had the snip snip (little to no pain so he said) and now...joyful, carefree lovin and NO hormones were effed up in the process.

same problem with the nuvaring...i've finally given up on all hormones and am starting to feel really good!  i am having recurring sex dreams about dr. house, which is pretty awesome.  i'm charting my temps/cervical mucus (fertility awareness method) and mostly just keeping my fingers crossed that i am doing it right and don't get knocked up for another year or two.

I'm pro-mirena! Though I agree that my sex-drive is low low low...but that just means if the hubby wants it... he's gotta work for it! (God forbid, right?!)  We're about 2 years into the 5 year plan... I've already told my husband that that means he has less than 3 years to get the balls (pun intended)to get the ol' snip snip. I've done the pill (gotten preggo on the pill) then the pull and pray method and then the condom method (got preggo on the condom method)....obviously - I'm a little fertile, no?!

You have to do what works for you. And talk to your obgyn about shortening those strings.

Above all - the biggest mood killer isn't the Birth Control - it's the babies caused by a lack of birth control. By the end of the day the last thing I want to do is tend to one more human being! It's my time to put on the sweat pants and t-shirts and totally watch crap-tastic tv and r.e.l.a.x.  I love my kiddos - but they do really hinder that whole pleasure mojo thing we had pre-kids!

Poor thing.

Not a good place to be, when your husband's thinking of weekend plans involves " a steak with a side of sex."

Hope you figure it out. I say, yank it.

I have the plain old copper Paraguard IUD. It's great, with none of that Saharaness or lack of sex drive. Chemical birth control doesn't roll with me, but this does.

I was going to suggest the pull n pray method, but then my 6 mos old cried and then I was like, oh yeah.  Good luck!

I totally here you!

I have the copper IUD - the paraguard.  No problems a year in to it too -- we must have about the same anniversary date!  Anyway -- it's a little crampier during your cycles -- but that's it.  No hormones -- no major ups and downs -- and my husband claims to not feel anything.

Maybe could could switch?

At any rate -- good luck!

I'll second (or third?) FAM--Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler

I used to work in a bookstore in San Francisco and consistently had women asking for that book and recommending it to me or anyone else around that was interested in hormone-free birth control or trying to get pregnant without drugs or painful procedures.

So I found a copy and I'm really impressed with the book so far.

After 11 years of taking different versions of the Pill, I'm done.  I don't want to have kids yet, but I am not comfortable with the risks of an IUD or Depo or Norplant or anything else that involves synthetic hormones.  

I think, Rebecca, the most important thing about FAM --gonna sound cheesy for second--is that it helps you to become familiar with your body and its processes, you just know yourself better.  So that's my suggestion.

Thanks for the great writing--I love your style and I'm sincerely glad you're sharing your experience with other women.  It totally rocks.

I got the depo shot several years ago. I balked when my step-mother told me it would affect my sex drive (we were doing it like rabbits)..but she was right

The worst decision I ever made in my life

I love my Paraguard. No hormones, so nothing else is affected. And, it doesn't make my periods heavier at all. Really.

GIRL YES. I yanked my IUD a year ago because WHAT? My libido took its leave. My boyfriend went with me to have it put in and the nurse practictioner told us "blah blah we don't really know WHY it works but it does". My bf said "I FIGURED IT OUT. you don't WANT sex. That's how it MOTHERF***ing works". um yeah. I feel your pain. Takes two seconds to remove. no big.

Haven't been on the pill for about 6 years and only got pregnant when we tried to. We used the FAM method too with condoms and spermicide (super fertile couple here) on the times when we were at risk of getting pregnant. However, child number 3 really wanted to be born, or Daddy's sperm lived a really long time nestled up in my cervix when we weren't "supposed" to be able to get pregnant. Condoms and spermicide every time here, but I have a super awesome husband that let's me finish and then will use a condom to finish up on his end. It's not ideal, but it works!

OMG! when I read that, I swear you were in my head!! I've had mine for 15 months, and I HATE it! I can't wait to get it out for the same reasons!!

thank you for sharing, and making me feel like im not alone in this..lol

I have no adivce, actually I am seaking some myself.  I am 41 years old, had my tubes tied in 1994, I have two lovely children. So I thought why put off closing it down.  Except when you get to be my age your hormones go crazy and now my doctor want to put my on the pill. WTF? Seriously, that is why I had my tubes tied, so I wouldn't have to take the freakin pill.  So now a million years later I havent a clue what is even out on the market in "pills" now a days.

I love my Mirena, and am sorry you don't.  My lack of sex drive is directly tied to my overwhelming schedule of parenting two kids and working full time and having a child with special needs.  Same for my depression issues?  Anyway, I think you are supposed to have bleeding or whatever issues for 3-6 months, then for many the bliss of no periods to deal with.  I don't feel any of my behavior or feelings are tied to the IUD, and I am totally happy not to spend any time on periods or plans for BC.  

I was on the pill after having & nursing my kiddo and I was MISERABLE the entire year. so I dropped it and we tried going back to condoms, but we BOTH hated them. however, we knew we didn't want to add to our family. so, my husband got a vasectomy. aside from the week POST vasectomy - happiness all around again.

Fertility awareness my ass!!  That's why Im sitting here 6 months pregnant.  Looking forward to another C-section and while they are in there- tying up the tubes!!

I have been a diaphragm girl for over 2 years, and I don't mind it.  I am really not cool with the hormone aspect of most contraceptives.  I wanted something not permanent (or required a doctor to reverse anyway), not hormonal, and not really difficult.  Using a diaphragm is about like putting in a tampon.  It doesn't have to be taken out right away (and it does need to stay in after sex for a few hours anyway)...The only downside I really see is that it's less spontaneous than being on the pill or having an IUD.  Yes, I DO have to put it in before sex...but I'm supposed to insert it with a gelly spermacide (I switched off that, though, and use contraceptive film) which makes me wait 15 minutes before sex.  We don't always follow the 15 minute rule, but sometimes it's fun to make my husband wait 15 minutes, cuz that's 15 minutes of guaranteed foreplay.

Husband and I were never condom people.  The two times we tried to use a condom...we couldn't get it to stay on.  It rolled down...and then I put my fingernail through it.  Eff that!  Let's just do it and you pull out!  ...Yeah, I don't recommend the pull-out method.  Do you know what they call people who use that method?  Parents!

I don't even have an IUD and I have had the same lack of sex drive problem ever since my second son was born. Do you think it could just be the result of 2 kids=no time/energy/motivation for sex?

I feel like I should share since I have tried almost everything. Seriously.

Nuva ring:  pretty great mostly- except that my husband could feel it and would complain and then you are stuck removing it for sex and cleaning it and returning it over and over and over and over and over and...

Patch:  pretty okay- except that irritating irritated skin left underneath it.

Pills:  all of them except the one I'm taking now- spotty, continuous periods all of the time. Misery, cramping, misery, every week.

Orthocycline (sp?): a pill, which I don't like. Added hormones to my body, which I don't like. No babies, which I like (for now), no missed or extra periods, which I love. So I deal with it.

Sorry to hear you've been having trouble with your Mirena.  I got mine shortly after you.  I think the position of your anatomy makes a huge difference with whether it's intrusive.  A friend had hers removed after a couple of weeks because it was too distracting for her fiance.  However, I have a tilted cervix so the hubby never feels it (the trade-off, though, is that my g-spot is incredibly tough to find).

Funny thing is, I became polyorgasmic after having a baby, even with the Mirena inserted.  I didn't know it had the side effect of decreasing one's sex drive.  Now I wonder what kind of crazy, wild love I could be having without it!

Are you guys done having kids?  I seem to remember a post about that...  Maybe it's Hal's turn to worry about birth control?

Darn it!!  The IUD had given me such hope!  Maybe one without the hormones would work better?

Note to self - Merina IUD off the "ways to stay un-pregnant" list.  Thanks for the heads up.  But what, oh what, is the answer?

If you're SURE you're done having kids you should check out Adiana (http://www.adiana.com). It's permanent contraception that doesn't have any hormones or invasive surgery involved. Simply fantastic if you're SURE you're done having kids :)

vasectomy is the only way to go~

Not done having kids is the thing. Poop.

Also? Thank you. You guys rule. Will keep you posted with news re: what I decide. Maybe I should guinea pig every form of birth control and start a new blog about it! Ha! Kidding. Ish.

I HATED mine, too. Honestly I couldn't quite put my finger on WHY I hated it, but something just didn't seem right.  I kept it about a year, too, before I pulled it.  And by that point I had become Anti-anything with hormones or anything that goes into my body and makes a home there.  So...back to the good-ol-days, it's condoms again!  Good luck figuring out what you guys will use!  At least, with that thing gone, you may actually WANT to have to use something!

WOW! So i got my mirena put in it'll be two years this april, my period didn't dissappear but it did get significantly lighter almost like i was spotting but it would last twice as long which is just obnoxious.   I also gained 25LBS!!! part of that could have been because i moved in with my boyfriend and started actually making dinner at night.  But I too lost all my sex drive and i didn't know what it was from and i didnt even think it could be the mirena, makes sooo much sense, I do still get horny from wine with dinner though so thats my suggestion start drinking and reading erotic fiction. works like a charm!

AHHHHHHHHH!!! I have read every single one of these comments with baited breath HOPING someone would reveal THE SECRET to awesome birth control- alas, no dice.  I have horrible, miserable cramps. The kind that take my breath away and leave me on the bathroom floor moaning, once being carted away in an ambulance because I was freaking out my partner so badly. I mean: PAIN PAIN STABBY PAIN PAIN. So I've been on the BCP since I was a teenager. I've gone off of it here and there, but always return because of the cramp issue. Every single Gyno I've been to says there's nothing wrong with me and basically looks at me like I'm lying when I explain how terrible my cramps are. I'm currently on Avianne, which was supposed to make me HORNY! YAY! but? Not so much. My boyfriend and I are miserable. He wants to live in a magic bang house, and while all signs point to HE IS HOT, BANG THAT MAN!, my vagina is like, "Heeeeeeeeeeeey there... ummmm? Whaaat's that? Oh, sorry, I couldn't hear you- I was SLEEPING." I have a sad, sleeping vagina. I am 28. I am in love. I want the Bang House Rebecca! BANG HOUSE! What is a girl to do? I have an appt. with a new Gyno on the 26th... perhaps she'll have the cure. Good luck ladies!

Wow ... I'm so glad I read this! I had the copper one for several years and I hated it. My periods were super heavy with the copper IUD and I was told it would get better. But it didn't. And it was heavy as in, I couldn't leave the house it was so heavy the first day, then 3 more heavy days ... and another FIVE days of so-so. More than a week-long period. RIDICULOUS! And the ... umm ... discharge at all the other times of the month thanks to the little "string" or whatever it is that hangs down? Yeah, not so fun. I briefly thought about the Mirena IUD but the hormone they use in Mirena was also in the pill I was taking while breast-feeding baby number 1. I suddenly started breaking out like crazy, realized it was the pill that was causing it, made a doctor appt to talk about my options, went off the pill and two days later .... I was pregnant with baby number 2 (yea!). (I had the copper IUD put it six weeks after baby number 2 was delivered.) When I was getting my copper IUD taken out, I asked my doctor if he knew of women breaking out with the low-level of hormone in the Mirena IUD ... he didn't ... but still, I figured I would be the one person it would really affect!

I had the copper IUD taken out over a year ago and am happy with the decision. We are using condoms to prevent pregnancy and it's working just great! I don't think I'll ever use anything with hormones ever again. I go a  little nuts-o on them! :o)

Good luck!! IUDs aren't so great.

whefah.blogspot.com/.../tmi-for-reals.html

One of about a dozen IUD-related posts of mine. I loved it at first too. It should be noted that I had two back-to-back miscarriages after having the fucker yanked out. And getting it yanked out was a month-long nightmare as well. Never. Again.

Sarah, you should have a look at buproprion for your antidepressant. Just about all the other antidepressants have sexual side effects, but this one hasn't caused any trouble for me at all.

Mirena sounds....great....not! :)  I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum... looking at the big 40 this year, had my tubes tied after my 3rd child was born in 2007, but I'm still feeling the whole "OK- sex is the last thing on my mind, honey... get your hands off me, please!" COMPLETELY!  Sigh... I don't think there is a magic answer when it comes to hormones.  

I had my Mirena for 1 1/2 years.  I didn't connect the hormonal feelings to it, because they came on gradually.  By the end, I was an agitated mess!  Also - I developed cystic acne, which gradually worsened.  I felt better within a week of its removal.

Amanda S? Your vagina is in my prayers. May you become all the BANG HOUSE you deserve and MORE, lady. Fist to the chest.

Fist to the chest to ALL Y'ALL. You ladies are AMAZING. Thank you for always being real and candid and interesting and fabulous. It means everything to me.

If the tiny bit of hormone in Mirena is enough to keep you swatting Hal's hands from your ass, then run the hell away from Nuvaring as well. Nuvaring involves even more hormone than the Mirena. For years, I had a love/hate relationship with hormonal birth control because it smashed my libido to bits, and Nuvaring did it as well. It took half a year for my body to settle out with Mirena (which I partially attribute to me nursing), but now that my son is weaned, the party is back on. Thank god. Although I clearly need to get the strings trimmed cause sometimes my husband gets dinged a little in there.

nothing- how's that for natural. pull out and pray and 5 1/2 yrs strong. it may not be ideal but fucking with my hormones is so not right to me. i don't put high fructose corn syrup in my food or bath in sulfates so I sure as hell ain't putting synthetic hormones in them. Just like organic cows!!!! ha!

Nuvaring! The nuva ring rocks. Insert it once a month and you can totally take it out to have sex (for up to three hours). Pretty much fool proof.

No more hormones for me, ever.  The pill brought out a special brand of *crazy* I never want to see again. Like, made me want to hurt myself crazy.  I knew something was so wrong, but it took me 2 years to realize it might be the Yasmin - I was a new person within a month of going off it, like a heavy fog had been lifted and I could finally see again.  Eep, it was crazy, horrible times.

So now I use and recommend any combination of condom + Vaginal Contraceptive Film + FAM awareness method. Much happier, much healthier, and so far (a year and a half in) effective.  Even if it wasn't as effective, though, I've decided I'd rather be pregnant than that kind of crazy.

So, this is kind of funny - I posted my comment about the copper IUD and then yesterday I went to the ER after 8 days of bleeding that got progressively heavier and more painful.  I got my IUD removed while I was there...we are totally going back to condoms; once we are done with babies I think the man is gonna be getting snipped.

HA! this is so funny that I just came across this. I just blogged about this as well. I've been having ALOT of problems with my husband becasue of my lack of sex drive. I'm in my late 20s and it just makes you feel like there is something REALLY wrong with you. the fact that whenever the issue comes up and its discussed like its a fucken disease or that I have some kind of mental disorder does not help! i have the copper tipped IUD and periods are heavier and longer, i cant blame the hormones because it has none! so im breaking it down to just everyday stress, dealing with a full time job, 2 kids, a chronic depressive mother, etc., etc. i'm like a freakin camel now. I have sex like 3 days or more in a row and then im good for months before i want to give it a go again.

Yep.  Happened to me, too.  HATED the Mirena something fierce!  Before that, I had just the copper IUD, which did a perfectly good job without all the chemistry, thankyouverymuch.  I can only recommend that one.

I had the same problem with Depo-Provera which is a shot you get every few months.  No period was great.  No sex drive, not so great.  My husband said he would get a vasectomy after our last child was born and that 6 1/2 years ago!  We use condoms!  I don't want to put anything weird in my body.  Anyway, I'm a first-time commenter and love your blog!

Same thing happened here.  Got it in 6 weeks after my second in 1/07, got removed this past november.  No sex drive, hurt sometimes etc.  ONLY good thing was the no period.  Mine was also poking hubby at first, got the strings trimmed, which low and behold.... when I went to have the damn thing out almost 2 years later, the Dr. couldn't find it.  Seriuosly.  It became a f...ing search and recovery mission.  They had to knock me out and dialate me to go in and find the thing.  I don't have to tell you what the upfront cost was....the removal charged to the insurance for all the office and hospital crap, over $13,000.  I shit you not.  Worst decision ever.  I sincerelly hope it goes better for you.

Standard Days method?

Ok. Here's the thing with using condoms as adults. I didn't mind them at all. They do make you feel young and adventurous and in college again. My hubby used them for years between kids. But then he got snipped and now -unsheathed- he feels eeeeeverything. Let's just say, the race isn't even close. In fact, I'm often left wondering *ahem* is that it? sigh.

MAJOR YIKES.  Thanks for the warning.

the nuva ring made me certifiably crazy, which i think happens to a lot of gals. plus, it would come out during business time.

Well...

I know you're not ready to shut the bakery down. So...

Maybe a little wine, make a light dinner together, have a smoke, and agree to a little massage - in bed - without clothes.

Come up with a code word, for your interest in a little more, if you're so inclined.

If you want more...

Just keep him at a fun distance, and remind him of how much fun it is to play.

Try it, girl.

You have it in you.

Love,

Eileen.

I read about half of the very many comments before scrolling down :)

I am 43 and once felt miffed I did not have the birth control options younger women now have when I was younger. Now I am not so sure! It all seems more complex. In my day you took the pill or used a condom (yes, you CAN use a condom and have twins! I am living proof!) (Love them madly of course :)

How about canceling all BC and seeing when and how baby 3 happens. Then trot hubby to the doc for a snip snip! Worked for us.

Hi i too had the mirena fitted and like you completely ; lost my sex drive. i had it replaced with a copper  one and it couldn't be better. My periods are heavier for one day at most. There is no contraceptive out there that is easier and doesn;t require hormones - try it you won't regret it

I lost my drive with Mirena, too.  

Are you done having children?  If so you could have uterine ablation. My sister had it LOVES it.  No more periods and can never get pregnant again.  

You could also try the Nova ring.  It's not bad at all.  He won't feel it and you won't have any issues with it.  

Good luck.  

wow. so, i'm on my second mirena. had first baby. got first mirena. had baby fever. took it out. had second baby. got second mirena. ANYWAY. i totally had no sex drive while my first one was in, but had no clue it could be from the iud. it just never even occurred to me. i thought maybe it was from nursing, or being a crap wife. probably both. i haven't noticed as much of an issue this time around, but it could be because my husband's been gone with the national guard for the past 4 months. ha! so i guess lack of sex-drive is a good thing these days. anyway, thank-you for your scientific discovery. i will be sure to re-evaluate my iudon't when my husband returns from war. he'll be needing lots of sex at that point. :)

AND, the first time i had the mirena, i had my dr. trim the strings really short because my husband...well he...let's just say utilizes all the square footage in the house.

but he could still feel them poking his ______!

this time, i had a different doctor and she said it's actually best to leave the strings long because eventually they will just curl up inside you. and wrap around your uterus. and die. like a weird little alien.

yeah...just take it out.

Ok, so even though the comments on here are quiteafew, I thought I'd chime in as well.  I used to be on NuvaRing, and didn't really realize it was messing with my libido, because my husband was my first, and I started NuvaRing before we ever did anything.  Then, when we were getting married, we had to attend special classes.  What first drew us to Natural Family Planning (or FAM) was that we were told that keeping the doors of communication open regarding fertility would keep doors of communication open for other things as well- and, theoretically, keep us together (ie, supposedly lower divorce rates among those who use it).  I went off of the ring, and WOW yes, my sex drive picked up, and my husband swears my mood changed, and I tend to agree.  Now, because condoms are -what? 86% effective?- we abstain during "peak fertility," and the bonus there is that when you're finally infertile again there is the "honeymoon effect," which means lots and lots of action.  :)  

It is a commitment, to charting and to abstaining, but it's worth being off hormones.  

Oh- and there's lots of different types of FAM, the ones I've seen mentioned above seem to involve temperatures and things, but the one we use is called the Creighton Model, and it only involves cervical discharge monitoring.  It's supposedly about as effective as hormones- ie, 99% with perfect use, abd about 90-96% with normal use.  Still better than condoms.  FOR REALS.  

natural family planning rocks !!! it is respecting the potential god gave us all and it seriously beats how you feel trying to prevent pregnancy with unnatural means.

Yeah, I did this, too. Got fed up and had it yanked. Ended up pregnant within 3 weeks. Ha! And we were being careful, using protection, charting cycles...etc. So, whatever your next method is...be veryyyy careful. More careful than us.

I didn't read all the comments...but uhm, condoms anyone? Why is birth control only a woman's responsibility? Condoms = regular cycle and no extra horomones. At least until you're all donezo with babes. I think it is the least he can do for all you sacrifice to be with child.

I got mine out seven months ago because it killed my sex drive AND made me gain weight! The weight is coming off slowly but the sex drive? Still gone! Here's to hoping yours comes roaring back to life much sooner than mine.

I was really really happy with the NuvaRing formulation exceppppt.. It hurt. Something about the shape being incompatible with my body. I have Mirena now and it's all sunshine and giggles except for the sex drive thing. I think this post is finally going to get it removed.

I don't know what else to do, though. I want a local method (ring, IUD, condoms) versus a systemic one (all pills) because of I'm on other meds, but I think I'm out of options. Time to go to the gyno again..

I have a copper IUD - no hormones.  I got it after going off the pill - and my sex drive and energy have gone way up! You still have periods (is that why you chose Mirena instead of Paraguard?) but it's safe, effective, and nonhormonal - I love it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this well-timed post. My doctor is trying to sell me HARD on Mirena. She wrinkles her nose and says "You don't actually LIKE using condoms, do you?" that leaves me feeling foolish and embarrassed. I'm the ideal candidate- 31, shacking up with my long-term love bug, have heavy and painful periods . . . but I hate feeling guilted and bullied into something so dramatic. My body, dude. Thanks for giving me some info and motivation to do more research and stand up for myself at the doctor's office.

yes! i agree with people about fertility awareness method (FAM). It is the only way to avoid messing with your body, avoid crazy symptoms, and avoid pregnancy all at the same time. As long as you have pretty regular cycles, it's easy to learn. You only use a condom for one week out of every month. That and a basal temp thermometer are all you pay for, so it's also quite cheap. We did FAM for years using just temperature as a guide (now we're trying for a baby) - though to be extra safe it's good to check other symptoms, too. You learn about your body and have the satisfaction of knowing you've treated it well and let it do its thing.

I'm gonna second (third? etc?) all the pro-copper IUD girls out there. I DO have more severe cramps than I used to - not gonna lie. But I've now had it two years, my cycle is very regular, my sex drive is great (if not BETTER because sex is so worry-free), and the cramps are totally controllable with naproxen or some other muscle relaxant. And no hormones! I'm in love. Side note with the strings: your doctor can go back in and cut them shorter if they're a problem! At least, mine offered to, if I wanted.

Just wait until your hair falls out.

Not kidding.

I was one of the first people in colorado to get a mirena. And I LOVED it. I mean, it was weird, with the whole "no period but I totally feel like I have a period" thing and I'm pretty sure that I actually got pregnant and miscarried every single month, but still. No periods, no pregnancy.

And then one day, in my 3rd year, my hair all fell out in the shower. Not exagerrating. HANDFULS, I tell you. THis continued while I cried to doctor after doctor, and they said it was hormones (I was 26) thyroid (wasn't). I googled the piss out of it, but there was not one result anywhere to be found about hair loss and mirena. But I was one of the first, remember? There weren't a lots of results on anything yet. My doctor actually had to prop the instructions for insertion on the trash can and pull it up next to us.

I finally found a midwife who wasn't willing to agree that my hair loss came from the iud, but did pull it out for me.

And yes, all my hair grew back.

Google "hair loss and mirena" today, I double dog dare you. I can't do it anymore; it makes me weep.

I have a 10 year one now. I love the no-hormones, and that bitch WORKS. It makes my cycles *eh* worse, but mine are already awful to begin with, so I'll take it.

Good luck, love.

I was on the Nuvaring for years before we decided to try to have a baby (now 6 mths pregnant).  I had been on some form of hormonal birth control for about 13-14 years at that point and hadn't thought much of it until that first month off the Nuvaring.  My good moods soared, my bitchy mood swings nearly disappeared and my sex drive skyrocketed.  I had actually FORGOTTEN what it was like to want someone that much beyond when you first get to know them.  (Now, in my 2nd trimester, it's kind of like that all the time again, lol.)

I swore then that I'd never use hormonal birth control again, although I haven't figured out what I would use instead. The hubs and I both dislike condoms; I don't trust pulling out; and I'm not sure I trust myself to accurately use a diaphragm or sponge.  I'm left thinking this whole situation sucks tremendously and that if men had to take BC pills, they'd have invented one by now that didn't screw with your moods and sex drive so much.

hhmm, am I the only one who's OK with it? When I read these things I always worry if there are effects that I'm missing! My sex drive is pretty good, though affected still by breastfeeding I think. I thought the hormones from IUDs barely got into your bloodstream? I definitely didn't get the zits or weight gain that I got with the pill. That sucked. I'd switch to condoms except at this point another baby is not a mistake I could handle, so I keep it in.

hhmm, am I the only one who's OK with it? When I read these things I always worry if there are effects that I'm missing! My sex drive is pretty good, though affected still by breastfeeding I think. I thought the hormones from IUDs barely got into your bloodstream? I definitely didn't get the zits or weight gain that I got with the pill. That sucked. I'd switch to condoms except at this point another baby is not a mistake I could handle, so I keep it in.

I had the mirena removed for the same reason, plus that I felt sort of depressed, while before I would be a sexy positive happy fuckerette. Years ago I had the copper one. My period had multiplied by a hundred. So much pain and so much blood each month. And I sort of felt it inside me. Other than that it was fine.

This time I decided to not use pills or mirena's or coils or whatsoever. back to condoms for us. I have a son age 2 and not yet ready for another one. So we are being careful the rubber stays on, but other than that I am having a good time! By boyfriend is a bit less happy, but no way near as having a mirena shuffed in him and suffer all the concequences. So yeah, what do you say?

I did try a pill after mirena was taken out. After a while I had to visit doctor for internal 'whatyoucallit?'. I was diagnosed with Pap3a! Not very good! I started researching myself, cos the docters didn't tell me much. I found article's written by doctors fr medical magazines, claiming that pills can often cause pap differences and contribute to many uturus problems.

SO right there and then I decided to go natural all the way. It feels great being me again! I can highly recommend it to anyone!

So I got the Mirena 8 weeks post-2nd child (c-section so I could, I guess with vaginal sometimes you have to wait so it'll stay?).  I have to say I don't have the no sex drive part (I mean no different than without) but I had constant spotting/cramping for months - finally did what my doctor told me to do (he said it happens in about 15% of cases) and took 10 days of progresterone, which will supposedly kick start me back to normal and hopefully I'll be 'normal' for IUD whatever that means.

The strings thing did freak out both me & my husband.  I don't notice it anymore now, haven't asked if he does...

I need a few more months to give my opinion but I hate hearing how many people are unhappy about it - I thought it was a universally loved solution (granted I didn't do enough research).  Sad.

Fun times.  There just aren't good options are there.  On anything that is monthly I get the worst hormone migraines.

I know this is an unpopular sentiment, but the pill or more precisely, ortho-tri-cyclen was my friend, my dear, dear friend.  It kept me regular, cramp free, short periods, thin, moods in check, and low on acne for my adult life.  Currently, I am on the kid won't give up the boob so I haven't had a cycle in about two years, form of birth control, which is also libido lowering.  Can't wait to get my body and the pill back.  The only minor issue was dryness which is even worse with the breastfeeding and a little KY solves the issue.  I tried other pills and HATED them but LOVE ortho-tri-cyclen.

OH MY GOD, MR LADY!!! I WAS JUST THIS MORNING (NOT EVEN JOKING) wondering why the hell my hair got so thin! Like, THIN. WHAT THE FUCK. I thought I was just imagining things but my hair is totally thinner than it ever has been before. Whoa.

Right there with ya. Contrary to my original belief also, Mirena is NOT my BFF and does NOT have my back. On top of no sex drive, I am also always crampy and just not right. Bleck. When you figure out a better alternative, please share! I know I can't remember to take a pill every day, so that's out for me!  

I don't know if you're done with the whole baby-making thing, but I have one word if you are: vasectomy.

Changed my motherlovin' sex life.

I love-love-love this post and the comments. I just went off the pill (forever?) last week and I feel SO MUCH BETTER and I've lost a few pounds already (as I sit here typing and eating popcorn...)

I too am looking for a semi-permanent, non-freaky birth control option. The nuva-ring scares the SHITTT out of me. I did my research and they HAVE NOT - repeat - have not tested the effects of topical estrogen and progesterone on the penis. Would you rub testosterone - even for 15 minutes - on your hoohah? Considering sperm counts are half what they used to be, and estrogen mimicking compounds found in plastics and SOY (eeeeeek) are considered to be the cause, the nuvaring is so weird to me. My husband and I haven't had babies yet so maybe I would feel differently if we already had 3 but...still. That's wack.

Right now we're considering the Taking Charge of Your Fertility method. And condoms. Lots and lots of condoms.

I love my Mirena and have recommended it WILLY NILLY to anyone and everyone who will listen to me. I've had no issues. That being said, I will most definitely keep you in mind now and temper my praises of this particular birth control with a warning that it might not be for everyone. Thanks so much for blogging about this (and thanks to the other commenters who spoke up as well).

I just had mine ripped out after six months.

Literally, had no sex drive at all. My partner said he knew it was working cuz there was no McLovin' going on. On top of that, I always had cramps and um. Those TEENY hormones that they say nobody will notice? Totally threw off my yoohoo's sense of balance. Utter hell.

Much like Michelle, I've been recommending my Mirena all over town  I love it and in fact, amazingly, I would say its actually INCREASED my sex drive (though it wasn't low to begin with and, now that i'm single, increased sex drive has its annoyances too).  Though my periods never went away. However, I do always point out that my experience could be WILDLY different from someone else's.  I always disclaim it because i've had many a form of birth control recommended to me prior to this and have been MISERABLE (don't even get me started on Seasonale or Depo).  

That said, it WAS miserable to get put in and I don't think i'll get another when I have to get this one yanked.

I think birth control in general is just tricky because you can't really take your friends' word for it since everyone's body is different.  Unfortunately, the only way to really know is trial and error.

Hi!  I read this and all of the comments earlier today but didn't leave a comment because my Mirena has been fine so far and didn't want to rub it in your face, but I'm back (NOT to rub it in your face) because I just read that there's an iPhone app that you can keep track of your periods on.  It tells you when your most fertile.  I think it's made to HAVE babies, but you could, in theory, probably use it to know when NOT to have sex (or use condoms).  I just thought I'd let you know since a lot of people suggested the rhythm method and this could be a tool(?).  I found out about it because someone tweeted a story about how a woman used it to get pregnant and the headline said "Woman gets pregnant with iPhone app" and I thought it meant a woman actually was IMPREGNATED with an app and I thought the kid would probably look pretty weird.  But I don't think there's actually an App for *That*.

Good luck, though.  I hope you find something that works well for you and your back to banging soon enough!

Thanks, all. Condoms it is. Poop.

So apparently, I'm late to the party. le sigh.

Yeah, when we are in a ohmigawdnochildrenimgoingnuts phase...we totally use condoms. Because hormonal birth control? Royally fucked up my liver. AND made me gain 100 pounds (totally not shitting you there).

I figure if there is ever an oops, then it was supposed to be. And Hubby will be getting the big snip-snip once we've decided that we're absolutely 100% done with the babies. Good luck with the condoms...they may suck when you have to kill the action to find one of the stupid things, but so much better than artificial hormone or another baby before you're ready.

Should also mention that I was on the Depo-Provera shot (if any one is considering it). Also had absolutely no sex drive, major depressive episodes, and about killed my fiance/husband. Yeah, bad news bears all the way.

I'm a fan of the nuvaring. Low hormones and you only have to think about it twice a month.

I'm a copper girl all the way.  Yeah, the periods were rough for the first year.  But doable.  Hormones are NOT my friend.   If you get one, have them cut the strings long enough so they aren't poke-y out-ey at all, and they bend and curve.

I've been on birth control since I was 12 due to the heaviness of my periods and a family history wildfire like endometriosis.  In 2006, I had the mirena inserted and I did love it.  Didn't really affect my sex drive but I did have it taken out a year and a half later when we decided to start trying for a kids.  One miscarriage and one incredibly bizarre pregnancy later and I haven't really thought much about what we'll do once this baby arrives, but condoms seem like a good option, though I've started to research other IUD options, as well as newer contraceptives.  

The Mirena is most certainly not for everyone, though, and I know several women who have had the same problems mentioned above.  Onward, ho, towards a new contraceptive!

I've had a Mirena for two years this month, and after a rocky start, I loved it and still do. I have endometriosis, so I need some from of hormones so I'm not incapacitated for five days a month or in the ER with an IV of toradol. I'll have to be on some form of hormones until after menopause.

It took me about six months of almost constant spotting and some tenderness in the area, and then at about 11 months I stopped bleeding entirely. I'd get a weak attempt at a period every four months or so, where I'd see a little pink on the TP for a day and that was it. Even that hasn't happened for about six months. I do find that I feel some irritation in the area and bloating when I would be getting my period, but that's SO much better than the alternative. The pregnancy prevention is just a bonus. And because I don't have to deal with condoms or anything else, my sex drive is better. I can be spontaneous, which is very good for my libido. I have also gained some weight since I had it inserted, but that could be due to the brownies I keep stuffing in my face and my over-40 status prevents me from dropping 5-10 lbs in a couple weeks like I used to be able to do.

I hate mine and I think I might take mine out now as well.  I have never had zits like I do now.  Let me know how the removal goes because that son of a bitch hurt going in and I'm scared to have it taken out.

Good luck.

I would love to read the comments to get more info on Mirena but I can't find any here. Where did they go?

Nthing Fertility Awareness Method! It has worked for me for about two years. Well, that plus condoms when I'm fertile. I did the whole tracking my temps thing for the first 6 months, then switched to the Billings Method, which is basically just tracking your cervical fluid. It's super easy, and works.

Hormonal birth control, even Nuvaring, made me either insane and/or completely uninterested in sex. That, combined with my increasing ideological discomfort with fucking up my natural hormones made me switch. I'm so glad I did.

I say condoms, fertility awareness method and, maybe a cervical cap, though I've never used a cap, my mother said she liked it, when she bothered to use it.

I don't get why everyone hates condoms, you know what's a real turn off? Babies, and STDs. I like the Sykn condoms, latex free too.

And since you don't want more rugrats I say snip snip Hal!

Man up and shave up!

I've tried just about everything - pill, patch, shot, Nuvaring, condoms, withdrawl, and I just got a Paraguard (Copper IUD) put in a few months ago.  I do notice a bit more cramping/bleeding, but totally worth it for not having hormones and making me crazy/fat/completely uninterested in sex.  And when I say uninterested (I'm looking at you Nuvaring, Depo, Pill), I mean when he tries to even kiss me, it makes me want to rip my own skin off.  

Like many commenters, I say everyone is different and unfortunately it takes some experimentation to find a method with side affects you can live with.  

It is hugely frustrating that we don't have more options, I've had unplanned pregnancies, and that is not a great position to be in either.  Ugh.  

I have been very happy so far with Paraguard, not having to think about taking something every day/month works great for me.  I hope you can find something that works for you :)  

I gotta give it up for the FAM. Fertility Awareness Method. There's nothing crazy about it. I've been using it for a year and we are not even close to pregnant. We don't use another method in between, Just refrain from intercourse, which is actually sort of sexy and fun for short period of time. It's great to know exactly what your body is doing when. Try out FAM! Works better than the pill!

Beware, changing methods creates a window and babies can't resist.