Straight From the Bottle

I totally get it. We're moving at the end of May. Moving from a living situation I have complained about every single day. And I'm really sad about it. I forgot that with my crappy apartment/loud neighbors/no yard I got great neighborhood friends, a playground my kid loves, a community I'm a big part of, and the place where he learned to sit/talk/crawl/walk/empathize/pick out his own clothes/eat solid foods, and on and on and on.

Goodbyes suck.

Once in your new house, you will realize that your previous home doesn't exist enymore. It's just an empty apparement. When you move, what you call home moves with you.

I have moved several times in the past 3 years and even though I am finally in  a more permanent location, I still sometimes miss the other places I have lived.  Even the places I did not like.  I miss Ohio where I gave birth to my daughter, even though we lived in an old, not-so-nice duplex.  I miss Minnesota even though I disliked living there because that is where my daughter learned to walk, and where we conceived our son.  I miss Illinois where my son was born  and we could walk to the playground with a bouncy ladybug toy that my daughter loved.  I miss the cheap apartment we lived in for only 3 months in Texas while we searched for a house, because that is where my daughter finally learned to use the potty.  Now we are in a house making new memories, but I think I miss all those other places not so much because I liked being there, but because I liked being there with my family, and moving away reminds me of all the things that are over now and  that my children are growing up.   So, I still have moments of missing the past, but most of the time I concentrate on the present and how wonderful it is to have my two "babies" and so many joyful memories.

i feel you, girl. just moved -- from san francisco to denver -- and it's total, weird, mixed emotion chaos. i know it's good for the new babe (husband won't be traveling for work now and will get to see her lots more), but we left a whole life behind. and apparently i live in the mountains now?! nuts.

but love what you wrote and totally agree. it's good to change it up and see a whole new side of things. go us!

It is hard.  I tell my kids we can be happy and sad at the same time about our move.  And that I take it as a compliment that they were so attached to the old house because it's proof I did a good job making it a home.  Goodbyes are difficult, but without them we often don't get to enjoy Hellos.

@M Wow, this quote is totally going somewhere I can see it every day

When you move, what you call home moves with you.

Few things are as simultaneously happy and sad as moving...

I sometimes get so down when I think about moving away from the house that we brought our kids home to, but this song (by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros) called "Home" always pops into my head. I cross-stitched a line from it and framed it to hang on our wall wherever we live, so we'll always remember:

"home is wherever I'm with you."

Since 2005 I have never lived in a home longer then 12 months. I wish that we could plant roots and stay n the same home for numerous years. Jobs, money, and such has made that impossible. I am hoping for some stability soon.

Nostalgia is a fun house mirror that tends to distort reality. (although it's a strange sort of indulgent pleasure/pain). But not to get all philosophical, because a certain dose of nostalgia will probably help you move along when it's time.

I have finally found my perfect coffee shop for writing (in my small, limited town) but damn, it's run by people on the Opposite Political Spectrum than me. I hate giving them money for their weak coffee, but the atmosphere is conducive to the flow.  

It's true what another commenter said, when you move somewhere, that other place it truly home because your family and your belongings come with you and THAT is where home is!

It's all good!! I know once you're moved you will never look back.  

Women especially are very very sentimental, guys can get over it alot quicker :P.

I get it.  Totally.  Even though I am so excited to be moving back to Los Angeles, this temporary home in the desert has not only been Nola's home (made even more poignant by the fact that she has suddenly started saying "home" a lot in little sentances.  As in "Wanna go home, Mama." Crushing.) but it has been a buffer from leaving Eagle Rock and moving on to an area of town I never fathomed living in during my childless days in Los Angeles. So I am a little conflicted. But I know I'll get over it.

I totally understand this and just went through it two weeks ago. I moved from my apartment with roommates where I've lived for two years into a house with my boyfriend and I went through all the nostalgia, the frustration/irritation at boxes and not being familiar with a new town and streets and having to find new coffee shops, sushi places, etc... I love what "M" said- that what you call home moves with you- before you know it you'll feel the same way about your new house as you did about this place.

Sending good vibes your way for the move weekend!

Rebecca. Thank you SO much for writing this post. I am in the same sitch as you. Again, you put my life experiences into such beautiful words. We have lived on amazing, gorgeous, and maddening Dolores Park in SF for 7 years. Raised 2 kids there, got married while living there, and love our neighbors but we have definitely outgrown our apartment. And we just found out this week that we got a (rental) house. Where we always wanted to live in the city, with a yard. Perfect, right? Kinda.

I am totally dramatic and emo, but my oldest, that dude senses things on levels I never will. He BROKE DOWN the other night, pleading me not to move. I guess it’s good to know that my husband’s reaction was as typical as LJ’s. Thank you for reminding me that this is normal for all of us to feel this way. And that in the end, even though its hard, it will be worth it.

you took the words right out of my mouth!  i am also moving out of the home i've lived in for 4 years with my boyfriend this weekend, but our child is a dog. i am excited about leaving but so so sad at the same time.  i keep wondering if we've made the right decision to move to a new neighborhood, a new house, etc.  my boyfriend reminds me that it's exciting (like hal) and he's right, but sometimes i just want to be sad.  i will repeat your mantra about nostalgia to myself until i'm happy again.  also, love your sparkly toms.

I'm right there with you ... we decided to move out of our first home as a family so that our family could grow - a tough decision - and we sold before we found a new Home.  I was angry while we packed, wondering if I'd been greedy and irrational and short-sighted.  We moved in with family to fill the gap and it wasn't until we found our new Home that I felt like we made the right decision.  Thanks for speaking the emotions I couldn't quite identify and for making me feel normal.

In the past 44 years I have moved all over the U.S living in many beautiful places and houses.  But I still have that special spot in my heart for that first home where I made MY family.  Whenever I am in San Diego I go by that little house in OB and take a peak--remember those happy young married days with my little babies.  But that said, its nice not to have to mow a lawn in the closet anymore.teehee

We knocked on the door of the brown house that we grew up in (the new owners had painted it smurf blue).  It was fun to walk through, but I realized that my memories of the house were the treasure - not the house itself.  

Good luck with the move - and on creating all new memories!!

we just moved last october, and my daughter was 2 1/2 at the time and she didn't want to leave that house, and niether did I, which made it harder on me to get over it.

But now, as we approach May, this feels like home, and the other home, another chapter in our lives.

Im definitely going through a lot of the same emotions right now. We're actually moving around the same time you are (next week!) and have been in a similar situation. We were forced to move into an 800 sq. ft. apartment when I was 5 months pregnant with our daughter, Scout. We both lost our jobs and were left borrowing money from relatives until we could get back on our feet. The apartment felt like hell. There was only one bedroom, hardly any space for furniture, and no yard or patio, which meant giving up our two dogs to a friend. Shortly before we moved in, all of our belongings were stolen from a storage unit, so we literally had nothing. No couch or bed, kitchen utensils, nothing. We brought our daughter home to the apartment and lived with her there until she was 14 months old. Now we're moving into an 1800sqft house with a gorgeous backyard, more bedrooms than we have furniture for and plenty of space to have our two beloved dogs run around. In spite of our amazing good fortune, we still miss our apartment for the memories that we made there.

I am also moving.. end of May. But our move is a little farther. Going from New York to Israel. My house is in boxes and although I am excited, I am also so freaking scared. Moving is scary business. I hope you settle in fairly quickly. ANd you are right, he (and you) are allowed to be sad!

We are packing and moving today and tomorrow- from a house that I have disliked to one that has every thing I could want and I have been feeling much the same- anxious, sad, frustrated, etc... I think it is just the transition- because the home I recognize is in boxes, and we will make the new place home too. It is just the trasistion that is super-suck.

I totally get it.  We closed on our house on Wednesday, and I've been a mess ever since.  Part of it is pregnancy hormones I'm sure, and I really am truly excited to be moving into our new (bigger, better) house in a few weeks.

But...this is the house where we lived when we got married.  This is the house we brought our son home to.  This is the house where we had our first major fights and our first Christmas tree and our baby's first birthday party.  This is OUR house.  Will the other one ever be the same?

I have been thinking about this alot lately.  As everyone around me seems to be experiencing change, non of it bad and all of it they once wished for.  I keep hearing everyone mention the stress, the sadness, the frustration.  What would it be like if we all just made a decision to be excited and embrace the change with open heart?

It was so hard to move from our TINY apartment over 4 years ago to our home.  It felt so different.  We had been living at that apartment as a family longer than we had been anywhere else.  It didn't matter that it was a little over 400 sq ft with 4 people a dog and a cat, it was home.  Now looking back, I can't imagine living anywhere else.  Sure it is bitter sweet as I know the people that moved into our old place after we did and for a while they still referred to it as our house, but now I can't even imagine how we ever lived there.  

Happy Moving Day!!

You're right. It IS sad for Starcher to leave his home, the only home he has ever known, leave his friends, leave his familiar neighborhood with all the old familiar sights and smalls and go off to a new, possibly hostile place.

It's clear that Hal doesn't understand just how tragic and devastating this move will be. He never really "got" you, did he? Here he goes, being all upbeat and Mister Smiley when his son is suffering a horrible trauma.

It's obvious what you must do.

To avoid the move, which will only lead to disappointment and growing older, possibly getting (gasp) wrinkles and being eclipsed by younger, prettier women, you must kill yourself now. Right now. It may even be good for your writing career. Look what suicide did for Sylvia Plath and that poet chick, Anne What's-her-name.

Yep. Suicide is the answer.

my fabulous part-witch/ part-psychic/all 'round amazing stepmom used to say "how can you move forward if you're constantly looking back?" and she'd do a little jog while looking over her shoulder. she was the smartest person i've ever met and i miss her terribly but i keep her little bits of wisdom with me and this post reminded me of that. it's so hard to just keep looking ahead when everything behind us looks so dreamy through those romanticized memories.