Baby Showers for Second Babes: Tacky or Fabulous?

GirlsGoneChild — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:18:00 GMT

Yesterday, over lunch, my fabulous friend and former roommate, Frank asked me if I was planning a baby shower.

"Oh, God no," I said. "For my second baby? That's just tacky."

"What!? You're crazy! You NEED a shower! You HAVE TO have a shower! It's a girl this time and you're going to need all new things! Oh, let me have one for you! Please! Please! Please! Please! Ahhhhhhpleaaaaaase."

"I don't know, dude. I've never even been to a shower for a second baby. It seems really inappropriate."

It wasn't until I said those words aloud that I realized maybe I didn't mean them. Maybe I was just saying that it seemed inappropriate because I felt like I had to. Because I didn't really know whether or not it was inappropriate or what it was. Like I said, I've never been to a second shower, before. But maybe that's just because most of my friends are kidless.

A baby shower has always seemed to me, a celebration of the exciting newness of parenthood, a rite of passage for mothers-to-be, surrounded by women (and gay best friends) to dote on them for an afternoon. It never seemed like a celebration of "Archer" per say. Or any baby for that matter.

In fact, having a second baby shower always seemed to me, equivalent to having a second bachelorette party for a second marriage. Kind of non-sensical, because, duh! I've been a mom for over three years, now. I know what I need and am pretty much prepared for a new baby. Wouldn't I be kidding myself to say that I'm not? To play games and accept advice from friends who have already been there done that for me at my first baby shower?

According to the various message boards I encountered in my google-quest for "second baby shower. yes or no?" I came across quite a few women who believed VERY strongly in the importance of a baby showers for every pregnancy. One woman, a mother of six proudly boasted of having had a shower for each of her children because, in her words "each pregnancy was different and special and one always needs new stuff..."

Frank would have agreed wholeheartedly with her. Me? Not so much.

I was more in agreement with "cynicalmom39" who said that "having a second baby shower is about as tacky as asking for money when you're already rich..."

Ouch. I take that back. I'm way too sunshine-and-raindrops to agree with something that blunt and mean-spirited. In all honesty, I'm probably somewhere smack dab in the middle of cynicalmom39 and showerhappymomof6. (My screen name would most likely be diplomomic27.)

diplomomic27 and 29weekbelly

"What if I have the shower for you at my house and we do something really mellow like a quiet gathering and everyone just gets drunk and you can watch us all get wasted and, like, put your feet up and open presents in pink boxes..." Frank was literally jumping up and down at this point, clapping his hands like a sea lion.

"God, you really know how to tempt me, don't you..."

But in all honesty? It did sound kind of fun. I told Frank I'd think about it as long as we said "no gifts" and invited a small group of friends and played light as a feather, stiff as a board or some equally non-showery games.

"This isn't a slumber party, Bec. It's a SHOWER!"

I told Frank I'd ~~ask my blog readers what they think and then get back to him with a decision~~ think about it and get back to him. And here I am, 24 hours later, straddling the fence between annoyed and excited by the prospect of another baby shower. And I have no idea what to tell him.

A little help, please?

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Straight from the Bottle : baby showers

Baby Showers for Second Babes: Tacky or Fabulous?