Poop! There it's Not.

GirlsGoneChild — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 19:01:00 GMT

My goal was to have only one child in diapers. And in a way, I guess, it kind of happened. Archer's soooo out of diapers it isn't even funny. Pull-ups? Um... no. In fact, they very much remain a staple in Archer's daily wardrobe and I'm beginning to fear that they might always be, because, here's the thing. My son is deathly afraid of pooping on the potty. Hysterical, crazy upset by the mere mention of it. Tantrum "I hate your guts, you bitch!" upset.

No!!!! I won't! I won't! I won't!!!

To say that I'm feeling discouraged would be a gross understatement. Ugh.

Several months ago I blogged about how FUN! potty training was. Mainly because it took Archer all of three days to master the art of the pee-on-potty squat. And only a few weeks to master the art of pee-in-public(ing.) I knew pooping came later so I wasn't too bothered by the fact that I had to put a pull-up on him to poop in during his "poop hour" in the afternoons. I figured it wouldn't take long for Archer to embrace his bodily functions in a mature and adult fashion so I did as I have always done: I waited.

Five months later I'm still waiting. And in that time I had purchased all the "pooping in the potty is awesome!" books I could find. (He thought they were funny but never felt compelled to poop in the potty because of them.) I bought him all of his favorite character underwear. Lightning McQueen, Thomas the Train... I even made up songs about my own poop and how much fun it was to flush it down the toilet. (Just wait. You'll totally do it, too.)

The bribes have gone from "If you poop on the potty you get a granola bar!" to "poop on the potty and you'll get a yummy cupcake from Crumbs!" and finally "Dude! Poop even the tiniest bit in the toilet and I'll make you a birthday cake. With candles. And ice-cream and you can eat it ALL YOURSELF."

This particular bribe seemed to excite him. It still does. In fact, ask Archer what happens if he goes poopy on the potty and he claps his hands, jumps up and down and says "I get birthday cake with candles! Yummy, yummy! Oh, boy, birthday cake with candles, yeah!" Although, for some reason... his excitement never seems to affect his need to perform the simple task to get said bribe.

Which leaves me as I am, today: hopelessly confused. Frustrated that I can't send Archer to school in underwear. Frustrated that I still have to change pull-ups in public restrooms while Archer screams, embarrassed, and kicks me in the face with poop on his heels.

I'm at a loss. I'm desperate. I need your help.

Please, for the love of all that isn't shitty, help me find a way to get my kid to poop on the pot. I'll give you a million dollars.

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Potty Training is Actually Kind of Fun. Is That Weird?

GirlsGoneChild — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:12:00 GMT

So here we are. Naked from the waist down. Brand new Cars underwear and pull-ups as far as the eye can see and a toilet that sings when you lift the seat, which sounds kind of like a recipe for disaster but no. I'm actually really having fun with this whole potty situation. Maybe because for now, we're keeping it indoors. Underwear is reserved for after school only (for now) and when we go on walks around the block Archer's rocking pull-ups again. But diapers? We are weaning those babies for good!

I was not so excited about the prospect of potty-training (come on, like who is?). I was especially unstoked because of Archer's communication issues and his difficulty articulating his needs re: toilet time. But now that Archer's talking more (and more) and I can understand him: "I go potty mommy! I go pee-pee now!" I figured the time had come. And apparently so did Archer.

Archer thinks going pee in the potty is the coolest thing ever. Poop? Not so much. He cries for his diaper when he has to go and I get sad and confused and don't know what to do. So I went online and bought these books:

Where's the Poop by Julie Markes and Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi.

I have learned that the secret of parenting Archer well is to let him take his time. He is not someone who should or can be pushed. In fact, the day he decided to use the potty was the day I stopped asking him to. He's like a teenage girl that way. So I don't want to scare, push or upset him into pooping on the potty. I just want to excite him by the awesome prospect of potty-pooping.

Potty-time excellent! Woo! Woo!

In the meantime, I'm enjoying this phase of Archer's life. The pleasure he takes in the simplest of tasks. The pride my son has in his pee on pot accomplishments. And the hope I cling to dearly that come October, Archer will be (pretty close to) potty trained. Surely one babe in diapers is enough.

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As always, potty training pointers and "pooping-is-fun!" children's book recommendations are quite welcome. Also, for those of you who are or have potty-trained your kids, do/did you bring a portable toilet with you on outings? Is there a toilet that folds and fits into a large purse or diaper-bag or should I invent one?

Thank you in advance for your toilet-tips!

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Straight from the Bottle : poop

Poop! There it's Not.

Potty Training is Actually Kind of Fun. Is That Weird?