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Parents with Alternative Lifestyles Can Have Hard Time Keeping Kids

Posted by thezeroboss

Seattle Sex-Positive Community CenterThe Stranger, one of Seattle's alternative newspapers, has an interesting piece on the Seattle Sex-Positive Community Center, which is better known around these parts by its self-selected nickname: The Wet Spot. What does a meeting place for swingers and BDSM fans have to do with raising kids, you say? I'm glad you ask! The Stranger's write-up investigates the child custody cases of parents who have had to fight to keep their kids because of their participation in club events. For example, a woman known only as Khaos W. saw her sons adopted out because her vindictive ex-husband brought her "deviant lifestyle" up in court. (He wasn't the kids' father, and didn't want custody; he just wanted to hurt his ex.)

The Stranger's Jason Simms goes on to examine how, in any case involving sex, the parent's lifestyle is assumed to be harmful to their kids; it's up to the parent on the defensive to "prove" that no harm's been done. Bah. This is just another example of how we expect parents to abandon any semblance of an adult life once they have sprogs. So long as parents firewall their adult activities off from their children, what business should it be of the courts - or their vindictive ex-spouses - what they do with their free time?


Comments

 

viciousrumours said:

It's not just sex that can endanger custody of your children.  My ex tried to use the fact that I'm Bipolar to take my daughter from me.  

It's made me very aware of everything I do and say.  I moderate myself a lot more than I used to in my behavior in fear of it being attributed to the Bipolar and making it easier for him to try again.

It's sad that the family law system has deteriorated so badly.  Unless people with alernate lifestyles are swinging naked from chandeliers with their kids strapped to their backs...IE: Unless they are involving the children directly, it just shouldn't be an issue.

February 22, 2007 12:24 PM
 

Tara said:

Makes me happy my SO's ex goes to fetish clubs (among other things). Makes our sex life look tame by comparison. We'd never ever use her sex life against her, but her kinks pretty much ensure she'd never try to use anything we do in that realm against us. (My mom asked if the ex could use the fact that my SO and I were shacking up against him -- the answer is no, not in this state, and even so, she wouldn't want to because we have way more dirt on her.)

That said...so long as the kids aren't involved or otherwise affected, who cares? I babysat for a couple who, to this day, I am convinced are swingers...they went to "play cards," their kids had a good time with the sitter, I made a few dollars...everyone came out ahead.

February 22, 2007 6:00 PM
 

Strollerderby said:

Welcome to this, the first installment of our weekly roundup of Strollerderby's best. Realizing that

February 24, 2007 3:51 PM

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I'm Jay Andrew Allen, a.k.a. The Zero Boss. I run the blogs here at Nerve Media. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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