Strollerderby

All of my kids' grandparents are divorced and remarried, so we have four sets of GPs buying them crap. For us, the main issues are volume (our house is overflowing with toys already) and age-inappropriateness (toys that are clearly marked 6+, given to a 2-year-old). Talking to them about it has had no effect, so any toys we don't want just go right out the back door--and to the Salvation Army--as soon as the GPs leave out the front.

I try to pick my battles. A neighbor gave us a Barbie doll and I put it in the closet. But in general I just let her have the toys, even if they aren't what I would choose. I want to model gratitude to her, and sometimes that's more important than trying to exert absolute control over everything that comes into our house.

I also think one of the nice things about having other friends/ family members in your life is that your child is exposed to different viewpoints.

we've tried being respectful, yet very clear when it comes to what is okay (and not) as far as what the grandparents are giving to our son (14 months). The grandparents who are old-hats at the job, know their boundaries, and are good at not overdoing it. It is the new grandparents who generally take offense when their gifts are not appreciated (no thank-you note). My mother-in-law was very disappointed when my son was uninterested, even scared, of the noisy bowling set she got him, which was geared for a 3+ year old. I think new grandparents just don't remember what a 14 month old is capable of doing.

I bite my tongue and the other way, most of the time.  Call me ungrateful, but how many stuffed animals must I have in the house?  How long do I have to wait before they visit Goodwill?  My boys never touch these toys, yet they are coming out of my ears.  Throw in my own weird tendency to anthropomorphize the dang things and it becomes quite the conflict.

I wish I could send this to my mother.  This is a battle that I fight regularly -- both with quantity of toys and type of toys.  And she lives 5 minutes away.  I finally decided that I had to pick my battles and this is one that I'm just not willing to argue about any more.  

My in laws are constantly giving my 6-mo. old daughter toys that are CHOKING HAZARDS! Stuffie with loosely attached plastic eyes, etc ...  a Collectible Beanie Baby, with a plastic case containing our state quarter attached to the belly with a drop of hot glue, was the latest gem. I say thank you - and throw them straight out. I'm lucky, because they don't come over very often. My question is - what do you do about well-meaning neighbor ladies who constantly give us religion-themed gifts?

We either throw it out the moment they are gone.  Because we keep telling them EXACTLY what sorts of gifts to buy and they just ignore us or we tell them that it stays at their place.

We have a tiny house and they keep buying giant train sets or giant dolls houses...we don't have the space for them.

Every birthday and christmas it is the same battle.

OK...please excuse me when I say, cry me a river.  

My husband's parents are both dead.  They loved our oldest like crazy and showered him with gifts.  They never got to meet our two youngest, but I'm sure they'd be equally in love.  

My parents are older and "done" with the entire "grandparent thing".  They like my sons and all, but after practically raising my brothers four children, they pretty much want to see mine for 3 minutes every other month and that's it.  I had a baby shower and let me tell you what my mom got for the baby--nada. Nothing.

It drives me crazy when I hear people complain about how their parents want to do this or that with their children, or they buy them gifts or whatever.  At least it means a family member gives two cents about your child.  At least you HAVE family.

I've always believed that was your job as a grandparent--spoil and leave.  And my grandparents bought me things, sometimes things my parents either couldn't afford or otherwise would have never purchased for me.  I understood these things were grandma presents.  

And I'm not just going for the material things either.....you all obviously have parents or in-laws who care.  Doesn't that count for something????  Cuz if you don't want them, I'll take them anyday.  One or two more people to care about my children--cool!

AMEN Sheri.  My mom is gone, she died when my oldest was five, she was a Grandma for only 5 years.  If she could just be here, I wouldn't care what gift she gave.

I micromanaged gifts too the first few years of my son's life. Now, I've let go.  My children aren't just mine, they have a family too outside of me.  We talk about toys that I don't approve of and why but we also talk about how people we love can have different ideas and that's okay.

I actually think this is a battle worth fighting if it is important to you. My 3.5 year old attends a Waldorf School 5 sdyas a week. I buy into the vast majority of the Waldorf guidelines in terms of TV, toys, etc. My parents are great with buying her the wood and wool toys, and my MIL is much much better. I have no problem tossing or donating a battery-powered toy, or not letting E go to a movie with my MIL, etc. But a great compromise we reached is that my MIL will buy her gorgeous, expensive clothes from Hanna Andersson for b-days, Xmas etc instead of toys. E gets beautiful, organic cotton clothes, she gets to see her granddaughter dressed in something she bought, and we don't have a houseful of toys I hate. Different things are important to different people. I am OK with this being something that is important to me. I get annoyed when parents say, Oh I hate all these battery plastic toys but we just can't get rid of them! Guess what, you CAN! And if you want to, maybe you should!

PingBack from http://jewess.canonist.com/?p=238