Strollerderby

Babble Talk: Attachment Parenting Author Thinks We Over-Parent

Katie Allison Granju tackles the thorny issue of attachment parenting this week at Babble with elán and spark.  In "The Over-Parenting Crisis" Ms. Granju traces the roots of modern neurotic parenting to the shirt-waist days and mah jong afternoons of Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique.

She observes astutely that we've merely replaced one type of parenting rulebook (grout-cleaning, shirt-waist wearing) with another (Fit Pregnancy, Parenting Magazine).  She thinks (again rightly) that we make parenting so much harder than it has to be.

If even the author of an attachment parenting book thinks we've gone overboard with worrying and micromanaging our kids lives, I think she must be right.  Perhaps we should all heed her advice.  Take a step back and stop worrying so much about every little thing.


+ DIGG + STUMBLE

Comments

 

Kristen said:

I wouldn't call myself a helicopter parent nor would I say I bubble wrap my kid, but I think there is something to be said about "the times have changed."

It's not like it was when we were kids. If you misbehaved at school, chances are you would hear about it at home. These days, parents defend their kids' brattyass behavior.

That's just a small, and fairly crappy example.

My point is, it's all fine and dandy for folks to say "Hey lay off, take it easy, don't worry as much" but I think it's easier said than done when our world is little more dangerous, a little less healthy, and way crazier.

Boy. I'm such a optimist, huh?

April 17, 2007 10:21 AM
 

Kia said:

I definitely think that there is some truth to what Katie Allison Granju is saying but hate to think that some people will equate attachment parenting alone esponsible for these hyper vigilant, scheduling helicoptering parents.

I've heard and seen similar anecdotes from a broad range of familes with diverse parenting styles, Ezzo led being one of them

A child centric household in which everything is centered around the child's happiness, in which the the child's saftery as well as it's whims  are considered to trump anything and everything else in the family is bound to cause difficulties at some point. No matter the parenting philosophy

April 17, 2007 10:58 AM
 

katie allison granju said:

<I>A child centric household in which everything is centered around the child's happiness, in which the the child's saftery as well as it's whims  are considered to trump anything and everything else in the family is bound to cause difficulties at some point. No matter the parenting philosophy</I>

I totally agree.

I think of attachment parenting as conscious, FAMILY-centered parenting. And a baby's needs are very different from a 6 year old's needs. We run into problems when we don't adjust our parenting to the age and needs of the child.

My main point in the article was that parents should relax and enjoy the journey more. We are making it much harder than it needs to be.

-Katie

April 17, 2007 11:16 AM
 

RachelZ said:

Thank you SO MUCH for this article.  My parents raised me with benign neglect, and I'm doing the same with my daughter.  She's only 9 months old, so I do have to spend a great deal of time and energy on her, but I don't ever want to be the mommy on the playground who says "no, don't, stop - you'll get hurt/dirty/maimed."  Unless she's attempting to swan dive off of the monkey bars (do they even have those anymore?)  I hope I'm able to relax enough to let her find her own way.

April 17, 2007 12:18 PM
 

Article: The Over-Parenting Crisis - Page 4 - PCOS Message Board said:

April 17, 2007 1:55 PM
 

viciousrumours said:

While I do admit to having a five point harness for the three year old (Hey, it keeps him from darting out into traffic. He gets to walk, I don't have to chase...I'm happy, he's happy...) I don't do the "No, don't..." follow...wipe...santatize...routine.

We have a couple of friends that are raising what will surely be a neurotic, socially awkward child. He's coddled, mollified, patted, carried, wiped, protected at every turn. Public school is going to be a nightmare for this little guy.  We only invite them over every now and then because I can't stand to listen to the kid whine when my little boy tries to play with him and he gets "overwrought" by the "rough" play. *insert eye roll here*

The simple rule at my house: If it isn't going to kill them or teach them a permenantly bad thing (IE: something you shouldn't do in public) I pretty much ignore it.  Dirt won't kill you.  Jumping off the back of the couch might leave a mark, but nothing I can't kiss better.  Clothes can be washed and crayone WILL come off the wall.

We all managed to survive without bike helmets, knee pads or hand sanitizer...I'm sure our kids will too.

April 17, 2007 2:39 PM
 

Kia said:

<I>I think of attachment parenting as conscious, FAMILY-centered parenting. And a baby's needs are very different from a 6 year old's needs. We run into problems when we don't adjust our parenting to the age and needs of the child.

My main point in the article was that parents should relax and enjoy the journey more. We are making it much harder than it needs to be.<I>

And I think that your point was well made. But as an extended breastfeeding, homebirthing, no spanking type I always have my panties in a premature twist whenever I see the words attachment parenting,lol

Seriously I'm always happy to read about AP parents with older children. The ideas of flexibility, growth and parenting on a continuum are ones that new and expecting parents should hear lots about.I'm fortunate that my mom (unknowingly) raised us with a decided AP bent and continued to evolve. She gave me a wonderful example as to how one creates a family while parenting individual children.

Best of luck with your new book

Kia

April 17, 2007 6:01 PM
 

Damianos said:

Interesting...

May 16, 2007 5:21 AM
 

Koinos said:

Cool.

May 16, 2007 6:43 AM
 

Giannis said:

Nice...

May 16, 2007 8:51 AM
 

Adamantios said:

Nice

May 16, 2007 10:19 AM
 

Adamantios said:

Nice

May 16, 2007 10:21 AM
 

Zenon said:

Nice

May 16, 2007 12:04 PM
 

Socrates said:

Interesting...

May 16, 2007 1:23 PM
 

Mamadshah said:

Nice

May 16, 2007 3:30 PM
 

Giatas said:

Nice

May 16, 2007 6:53 PM

in

GROUP BLOGS

  • Strollerderby

    The smartest, funniest, most exhaustive parenting blog in the blogosphere.
  • Droolicious

    Modern design for modern parents.
  • FameCrawler

    Your daily baby celebrity fix.
back to blog homepage