Researchers at Ohio State University and the University of Illinois bring us
this startling news. When dealing with a 'difficult' baby it's better for everyone if you and your partner don't use biting sarcasm and cutting put downs in order to communicate with each other.
You mean I wasn't supposed to say, "Oh no, no! Don't get up. I'll get up with the baby you just lay there and sleep and I'll change the diapers and feed her all night long."?
It wasn't helpful when he pointed out how "He never cries if you get to him before he's this upset. You can't just let him lay there crying or you'll never get him to calm down."?
Apparently there are better ways to communicate and get things done in a cooperative atmosphere which benefits both parents and children. According to the study of 97 couples in Illinois who were expecting a baby, couples with stronger relationships (according to the study's criteria) before the birth of their child were better able to cope with the challenges of a temperamental baby as co-parents. Couples whose relationship was less strong before the birth were more likely to be critical of each other in relation to their difficult baby.
Researchers also found that while the marital relationship and co-parenting relationship are related they are not the same. Some couples may have a great relationship but still be crappy co-parenters. Logan and I were great at co-parenting until around 4am at which point the gloves were off.
