Strollerderby

Just google "breastfeeding illegal states" and you'll see so many ignorant people against it that you will understand why some women are at least modest about it.

It is actually such a big deal that some people think it [breastdfeeding in public] is illegal in the States.  Showing that inch of breast sudenly becomes a lewd and lascivious act to some.

It's really quite sad.

I agree with you Karen with one exception. If I were a celebrity, you bet I'd cover up. I mean, nothing's wrong with breastfeeding in public, but who wants it on the front page of the Sun?

YOU don't get it because you're not uncomfortable doing it (whether you never were or you just got used to it).  I would feel really uncomfortable about it.  Not about nursing my kid in public, but just about being even a little exposed, it's just who I am.  That's not going to stop me from feeding my kid if they need/want to eat though, you bet your sweet ass it won't.  So I'll do what I need to do to make myself comfortable so that the baby can get what it needs.  What's so wrong with that?

I second what Missy posted. Seriously, where have you been? Haven't you seen that women get kicked off of airplanes for nursing? (Delta Airlines) And kicked out of shopping malls? (Copley Sq. Mall, Boston)

Plus:

A lot of people don't realize you're breastfeeding when you're wearing hooter hiders, believe it or not. I had mine on in a sushi restaurant and the hostess came up and lifted it up and was shocked to see my baby nursing. She thought the baby was sleeping.

Also, a lot of people come up and touch the baby's head while I'm nursing. It's basically centimeters away from a stranger touching my nipple. I'd like to avoid that if possible!

It's a lot easier to NIP without a cover when the baby is older, I think. The bigger head covers more.

For me, the fact that I'm a high school teacher weighs in on my choice to use a Hooter Hider. (i got the black and white floral print, and it's fabulous.) If I were out at the mall nursing, and ran into a student, there's no doubt a camera phone would be out faster than you can say "fo shizzle" and I'd be all over YouTube. And then it would probably be all over the news, with the headline: TEACHER FIRED FOR EXPOSING BREASTS TO UNDERAGE STUDENTS. I am in Ohio, after all.

Plus I'm just modest in general. I don't want to have to worry about letting ANYONE see my boobs inadvertently. And I'm not really interested in being an activist--I just want to feed my kid. If expectant moms see me with my cover and want to discuss the pros and cons of breastfeeding, then great--I'll be happy to talk about it. But the act itself doesn't need to be loaded with importance that other people ascribe to it. It just needs to be lunch.

As Jessica suggested, it's all about nursing in peace. Why does that need to be questioned or criticized?

I'm glad to see a couple of women commenting and saying:" I don't WANT people watching me breastfeed. I don't WANT people staring at my breasts."  Since this whole thing started up I've been following it and two things have been clear: (1) There's a HUGE assumption being made that EVERY breastfeeding mother WANTS the world staring at her breasts in public.  and (2) A lot of people seem believe that the rights of the breastfeeding mother outweigh the rights of the rest of the public.

I like the way Nancy put it, " the act itself doesn't need to be loaded with importance that other people ascribe to it. It just needs to be lunch."  We aren't talking about some great social injustice here folks. Some people just don't want to have to see breasts while their going about their everyday business...or have their children see them.  

Modesty is something that should be respected, whether it's your own or someone elses.  While you may be comfortable having other people look at your breasts, they may not be comfortable seeing them.  Doesn't make them "prudes", just makes them human.

Come on people, what woman REALLY wants to purposely expose her breast in public!  Especially when she may have stretch marks from all that milk and it sags down to her belly button.  I think most people that complain so voraciously about being offended by nursing in public have never actually seen an exposed breast.  They have a problem with just the idea of breastfeeding.  It's ridiculous.  The same people who said, "it's just a boob" after the Janet Jackson thing are some of the same ones who think breastfeeding is "gross" or "unnatural" or "lewd."

I believe it's in everyone's best interest to be discreet.  After all, I'd rather not see butt cracks in public.  And if a woman needs the help of a nursing tent to feel comfortable, no problem with that.  The problem, as Karen is pointing out, is the idea that nursing is shameful and you NEED to cover up.

It totally depends on both mom's personality and where the breast-feeding is being done. I live in Austin which is a really comfortable environment for public breast-feeding, so I don't cover up. But when I go back to my small home town in Louisiana for occassional visits, I always cover up. Even still, I get some many questions, looks, and rude comments. Strange men have even sexually harassed me, making comments about my "tits" and how they would love to be the baby. In that environment, people would rather me breastfeed in a public bathroom or that I just stay home until the baby is weened, rather than breastfeed in public. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, so I cover up.

As the husband of a hardcore lactivist, and a supporter of breast feeding anywhere without question, I gotta say Karen,

YER GODDAMN RIGHT!

:)

I think the point is women shouldn't have to feel they need to cover up while breastfeeding their child.  If they are modest then it should be perfectly acceptable to use a nursing tent.  I'm tired of hearing about women commenting on the fact that they don't want to see another woman's breast in public.  Like a breastfeeding woman is deliberately causing some sort of harm to those around while all she's really trying to do is feed and comfort her child.  I just don't understand what the big deal is - it's a breast, it's not offensive or shameful.  Why is the sexuality of a breast okay and the biological purpose of a breast shameful?  Society is backwards.

Holy Cow! I wish Americans would get over their Breast issues. I have seen stars on TV and in magazines showing more than a nursing mom.  Look at J-Lo and the ugly green dress incident.  I would MUCH rather see a mommy nursing than look at that hideous dress and exposed body parts.  At least the mommy is doing what comes naturally.  As for touching the babies head while you are nursing?  How rude can you get?

Just as a women shouldn't be criticized for breastfeeding without a wrap, women shouldn't be criticized for wanting to cover-up a little when breastfeeding in public.

You really don't understand why not everyone is comfortable with their boob hanging out?? Are you kidding???

Anyway, who cares, as long as the mom is breastfeeding. What was the point of this post except to (yet again) pass judgment on mothers?

i haven't breastfed yet (expecting in august), but i just figure no matter what my comfort level is with it, it's about the comfort level of others.  to anyone else in the world besides a woman who's breastfed, my boobs are not simply feedbags.  for better or worse, they have all sorts of sexual connotations in our culture and i prefer to not be setting those connotations off in others.  seriously, i have a sister who's gotten increasingly comfortable breastfeeding in front of ANYONE, and to me it's still strange to have her breast flashed at me.  can you imagine how it might make my father or my husband feel, let alone a complete stranger?

I genuinely didn't give a flying crap about other people's comfort levels with regard to my breastfeeding, and normally I'm pretty sensitive. Somehow, I just really feel that people who are uncomfortable seeing a woman breastfeed her child should probably see it a lot more often so they can get over themselves.

I do feel that a nursing mother should do what makes *her* comfortable, but I worry that too many women are only comfortable if they think everyone around them is comfortable. And to hell with that.

Amen Patti!!

I second that amen!  

I could give a shit what other people think.  Their comfort level is not MY problem.  When I was still nursing, I could do it anywhere, tent or no tent.  The diner, the mall, wherever.  If we were in mixed company, I would retire to a different room sometimes but that's mainly because I gave birth to a Super-Curious, who has to look around at every little thing and won't focus on the eating.

But it was never about making other people comfortable with it.  That's not my problem.

For everyone who could give a shit about what other people think and nurse in public freely and comfortably, ROCK ON. You are awesome.

But that's not how I feel, for the reasons I discussed above...many other moms also gave their reasons for their modesty. Someone posted that the original post seemed judgemental of us--that's an attitude I DO object to.

If you can do it comfortably, awesome for you. But don't say, "Why in the WORLD would anyone want to HIDE their breastfeeding???" Because as we've shown, there are many reasons.

To each her own.

It's not entirely fair to tell women just to "get used to it." There are so many factors in determining one's sense of comfort with public nursing, from upbringing, to religion, to how supportive the community around them may (or may not) be.

In the end, what's important is a baby that's well taken care of by a happy mother. If that comes via breastfeeding, then hooray. And if that breastfeeding comes via hooter hiders then double hooray.

Plus are we making assumptions here that all mothers are nursing in public parks or coffee shops? Not always the case. If you ever had to breastfeed at your office like I have, you might be a wee bit open to covering up. Ideally with something fabulously stylish.

I have no problem with anyone who nurses in public, I personally avoided it because we really didn't go out much those first few months and I had an elaborate nursing set up that was difficult to replicate in public.

However I can see how lactivists could have a problem with these coverups because they fuel the idea that women can and should cover up when nursing.

If someone is covered up and another mother is not covered up, people will see the uncovered mother as rude and point to the other mother and say "see, you should do that "

Neither of my kids could stand being nursed while covered up...these things wouldn't have done a bit of good for me.  

What I find ironic is that it seems all maternity shirts are now made for total hootchie mamas...all cut down low and tight.  "Look at my gigantic new boobs!!!"  But when the baby comes and your breasts are actually being USED, then it's weird for people to look at them?  

The crux of the issue is the comfort level with and attitudes about nursing in general.  Did you know that 99% of new moms in Norway breastfeed?  And that coffee shops and other settings are setup with this fact in mind?  (Thanks Oprah!)  Quite-sadly-different in the US!  

When nursing my daughter, I vary my efforts to keep covered based on where I am and who's around.  No, I don't want to flash my father-in-law or a group of my husband's coworkers.  I don't want to stay at home or nurse in a bathroom stall, either.  I decide where and how to feed her based on my comfort and where she will be able to relax and eat.

In my opinion, I don't care how you do it, but that you are taking care of your baby in the most healthy and natural way possible.  Let's support all nursing moms!

Pingback from  Bridget’s Kitchen  » Blog Archive   » Paranoia