New moms are selfish. There, I said it. I know you wanted to say it to so I've just saved you the trouble. I'm willing to take the heat. So bring it. The Strollerderby crew generated some great ideas when we first started discussing this usually taboo topic. Here are the top 6 reasons we've come up with that new mothers are selfish. Feel free to add yours.
1. Always with the crying - New moms cry. They don't seem to care that it's upsetting to witness the heaving shoulders, and red puffy faces. Don't they even care what they look like?
2. Refusing sex - Even when they get the "green light" from their doctors at the six-week check-ups. Even when the ice packs the the Tylenol-3s are put away. Still, many new moms are hesitant to rev up the sex engines again. How insensitive can you get?!!
3. Possessiveness - New Moms often refuse to let grandparents babysit, even when the babies are TWO weeks (even two months) old. I mean come on!! What does a person need to do to get some serious bonding time with a new baby? Don't you think a new Mom would understand that better than anyone?
4. Pain Intolerant - Childbirth and the post-partum weeks and months following hurt like hell. So women claim. But seriously? Can it really be all that bad? Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. And THEY didn't have helpful spouses and great pain medication. Ok, so you have hemorroids. So your nipples are chapped. Get over it, sister, and move on.
5. Men Have Needs - Ok so women are in pain and they are nursing and co-sleeping and hormonal. But sometimes, the men have needs. Have they never heard of hand-jobs? Is it that hard to meet your husbands' / partner's needs? I think not.
6. Insistence on Showering - Women want to be with their babies all the time, right? So what is the problem with bringing the baby in the bathroom when they shower? And also? Why the need to shower every day? If new mothers were more other-centered, these things wouldn't be such a big problem.
