Strollerderby

One of my good friend's husbands is in Afghanistan for 18 months.  Whenever I get mad at my H for leaving dishes in the sink, I think that at least he's HERE for me to get mad at, and thank God I don't have to worry that he'll get shot on the job.  Perspective makes all the difference.

What the study neglects to add is the rates of infidelity.  The fact that when the cat is away the mouse will play.  Having spent a number of years living in cities that have large numbers of military families I can tell you that the displays of infidelity on the part of millitary wives while their husbands are deployed is hideous.  Also, having dated a member of the armed forces i have heard stories of infidelity on the part of those that are deployed to foreign countries.

The worst part of having my husband deploy (Enlisted, Air Force) was the 2 months leading up to his leaving.  The military talks big about family time, making sure that Airmen get time to spend with their families.  Bunk!  He was at work more leading up to leaving than he did with his usual job.  And since he was in charge of the group leaving from our base he decided that as long as they all had their paperwork in order they could all have the 3 weeks prior to departure off.  As soon as someone caught wind of his plan they scheduled the whole group for "training".  He had to scramble to let everyone know that they had to put in for leave to get the time off.  Those who did not get their leave approved spent those three weeks at the training office sitting around waiting for someone to set up a class for them.  What a waste of time.

After he was gone my daughter and I settled into a routine and we actually did not miss him that much.  Of course we did not tell him this.  We just kept as busy as we could so that we were not constantly thinking about the fact that he was not here.

I'm of the mindset that I knew what I was getting into when I married him, I did not expect to live close to my family, or have him around 24/7.  I know that he does not want to deploy, but he accepts it as another one of his job responsibilities.  And if he does not go, someone else will, so he needs to take his turn.

Other families are not the same.  He has told me of wives calling up their husbands while they are away to tell them that they are leaving them.  Or there are the many stories if infidelity.  And the always popular "If we move again, and it's not close to my family, I'm leaving you!".

I think that if you have a strong marriage to begin with, just like any other couple, you find ways to make it work.  But believe me, the garbage and dishes in the sink are still irritating.  Add to that the potty mouth he comes back with after spending 6 months + in a testosterone filled environment.